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 Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 2:31 am
a) Fighting?
In general, I do not fight. Usually, it's completely unneccesary. However, if a fight is initiated, I believe it's important to end it as quickly as possible to avoid the sort of slugfest you see all too often. For example, I was sitting and writing, and a cousin (who'd always been mean to me) punched me behind the head with no real prompting. Without hesitation, I rose from the seat and pushed him to the wall by the throat. He wasn't hurt, but he was badly startled-- and he hasn't hit me since. Is this acceptable under the teachings?
b) Substances?
I'm a smoker. Even my avi smokes, heh. The thing is, I'm not too clear on where Buddhism stands on it. The focus of my life isn't smoking, I don't do it around others (unless they smoke as well), and I avoid harming anyone by it.
I also drink, very rarely. Every few months or so, there's usually a party where everyone who's lost touch gets together to catch up. Usually copious amounts of alcohol at these parties, and everyone has their fill. We don't have any irresponsible friends, really-- not the types to drive after drinking, start fights, or anything like that. We all usually end up laughing through the night and falling asleep, heh.
And c)
Sex and sexual activities. I was a virgin until about a year ago, it just sort've happened one night-- 8 hours of wild experimentation, got basically every worthwhile first out of the way in that one night. Since then, I find my mind wandering to sex (not so much the memories as the acts themselves), but not to the point of interfering with my day-to-day life. Where do the teachings stand on these sort of thoughts?
Sorry for the long post, just figured I should be thorough and explain each situation well. =P
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Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 4:00 am
Fighting
I do not have a lot of experience with fighting. In fact, I would go so far as to say that I have none. Therefore, I do not understand fighting at all. It truly is a foreign idea for me. So, naturally, this has coloured my view of it as being something unnecessary.
But I've learned from people I trust that sometimes it cannot be avoided, no matter how hard you try and that you should defend yourself. Many monks do not retaliate if they are attacked, but some do. In martial arts lore there is a famous quote that explains using the martial arts not to inflict violence, but to reject it. You refuse to accept another person's aggression.
I think that is sound, philosophically. I'm not a Buddha, so I'm not sure what the Victorious Ones would say about it. I can wish all I want that no one ever raised a hand to another, but at the end of the day I have to trust on the experience and observation of others that say that sometimes you just cannot avoid it.
Substances
From what I understand, the lay precepts tacitly forbid alcohol, but many teachers have interpreted this to apply to anything unhealthy to the body or mind. This is because we need to take care of our bodies so that we're able to practice the dharma. If you think of everyone who is terminally ill or disabled, you can imagine what kind of difficulty they may have if they wanted to do certain practices. Yet some of us choose to damage our body intentionally.
I have friends and family who smoke, so I understand that deciding to quit isn't an easy choice. It's a teeth-gnashing, mood-swinging ordeal, but it can be done, but only if one is really motivated to do it.
I never was much of a drinker, so I can't speak from experience much. I only know that when I did drink I didn't much like the loss of control of my mental faculties. I was more quick to say things I otherwise would not, my coordination changed, my perceptions were altered. I thought, "What if something comes up wherein I must draw upon the dharma? Will I be clear-minded enough to do so?" For me, not drinking is a natural choice, but I understand that under the influence of peer-pressure and simply from not having contemplated the precepts (or heard them explained by a qualified teacher) that this decision may not so easily be made.
Sex and sexual activities
Tsem Tulku Rinpoche says that if you like to have sex, then have sex. If you like to shop, then shop. Buddhism does not teach that you should be ashamed to have pleasure with your body, but it also teaches that you shouldn't get too caught up in the nature of the body - because it is an impermanent thing that, while it may be beautiful on the outside, isn't so nice on the inside (it creates all kinds of unpleasant substances, too).
Our bodies are also biologically built to require sexual release. I don't care how strong of willpower you may have. Your body does its own thing. Repressing your sexuality just is not healthy because it does affect your mind, and one of the lay precepts is all about avoiding what intoxicates your mind.
There are stories that in some monasteries in Asia there has been pornographic material found. These stories do not at all surprise me. I guess to some people they pointed to the monks as somehow being hypocritical, and perhaps that is true to some extent, but I think it's much more than that. It shows that the monks are human beings first, then monks. It also says something of a need for a radical re-examination of the monastic code (vinaya) in regards to absolute celibacy.
We know much more about human biology these days, and even His Holiness the Dalai Lama has said that the Buddha-Dharma must be willing to change in light of scientific discoveries. The Buddha was very clear on not clinging to teachings when contrary truths were staring you in the face. The point is to be free, not to be static.
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Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 7:09 am
Thank you, so much.
Very interesting points.
One thing, though-- as far as the alcohol thing goes, I don't like it when people use it as a crutch. "C'mon, I was drunk, I didn't mean to say that. sad " Alcohol and other substances only loosen the tongue, they don't create new ideas in your mind.
Anyone else have something to add?
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Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 9:55 am
Fighting:
Well i'd add into that, what about verbal fighting?
I don't fight in general, but if it comes to verbal fighting I sometimes do. It's not always easy to express things verbally and not getting into a fight. Sometimes the emotions on both sides raise high very easy sad but I work on that and try not to hurt the other person through words. Words can hurt much more and longer, I think.
Substances:
I did smoke some pot, some time ago, just a few times, and never often, maybe once a month, when someone offered me a joint. I don't do it anymore, from my perspective it falls under the five precepts to avoid substances that alter the mind. But i still drink alcohol sometimes with friends (normally I don't get drunk, I can stop one drink is enough). My question what do you think is smoking weed worse than drinking alcohol (we now about the legal/illegal part, but this is buddhism, plus at that time i studied in Holland lol ) I'd say it's the same both affect your mind, alcohol sometimes even more worse. So guess one should really avoid all substances.
Sex: through having no boyfriend I live abstinet, and luckyly I don't have any problems with that. So I never think about this part much rolleyes
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Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 2:56 pm
a) Fighting
I've never been much of a fighter, but it is definitely something to be avoided whenever possible due to the negative feelings and results likely to occur. Verbal fighting should also be avoided (Right Speech) when possible for the same reasons; I seldom really fight verbally but can occasionally get drawn into heated discussions that begin to "cross the line."
b) Substances
This is tricky, and some quotes from scriptures would help me in discussing this (despite my reading many Buddhist texts, the precept against intoxication gets surprisingly little in-depth discussion in the literature...the best explanation I've heard is that "intoxicants don't bring about the mindset of the Enlightened One," which holds true of almost everything Samsaric).
Ironically, hallucinogens have been known to bring about perception-shifts more typical of Eastern mystical practices, and it is this group of substances that I do hold in some esteem and have managed to "learn" of some aspects of human perception through moderated use. However, that isn't to say that they will "make you Enlightened" or that their use will not necessarily involve the introduction of "erroneous views" or delusions, just that the experiences allow perception-shifts and changes of thought-processes generally not found in everyday experiences that can be helpful (more in after-the-fact analysis than during the experience itself). Also, the feelings of "loss of control" or being "overwhelmed" can be useful to those preparing to take advantage of the dying experience (a la Tibetan Book of the Dead) or who hope to make some spiritual progress during times of intense emotional turmoil (e.g. catastrophic loss or bouts of clinical depression).
Of course, the best altered states of mind according to the scriptures (as well as my personal experience) are meditative states and dreams; namely meditative states. However, dreams are the most vivid of (obvious) hallucinations available to all people to learn from, and the Buddha repeatedly likens delusionary reality as being like a dream. If only lucid dreaming were easier (I've backslided in that aspect of my practice)...Meditation is wonderful smile
Alcohol is certainly what the Buddha had in mind in the precepts. I consume it in moderation but recognize that its qualities are largely contrary to mindfulness and tends to promote poor conduct through the loosening of inhibitions...I've managed to avoid the pitfalls largely by applying mindfulness prior to and during moderated consumption (I'm an unusually "sober drunk," and problems with clumsiness can generally be avoided by slower, more-deliberate activity)...It is an especially dangerous substance on account of its lending greater euphoria to the individual with the more consumed up to poisonous levels of intoxication (this isn't the case with some drugs)...I have to stop my alcohol intake as soon as I perceive certain "signs" in order to avoid physical danger (e.g. the numbing of the teeth/gums and the distortion of background noise means "enough is enough!") If need be, it is a substance that I could certainly live without.
My primary concern with encouraging the complete abstinence from alcohol is both the "forbidden fruit" and "First-Timers Binge" problems. The latter is the tendency of youngsters unacquainted with alcohol consumption to go nuts with excessive consumption as soon as they are able (usually college Freshman Year). I've seen plenty of friends and acquaintances needlessly harm themselves because they failed to learn the virtues of moderated consumption in a prohibitionist atmosphere, and in general I think the "moderated" view is the most flexible, especially in light of alcohol's worldwide presence despite societal and legal pressures in some societies.
The questions posed by the array of other mind-altering substances, notably the more-addictive varieties, are a bit of a challenge to discuss in context of the Buddhist precepts. My general view is that they should be treated warily as any pleasurable activity that may prove addictive (e.g. excessive computer use, over-eating, heavy video game use, gambling, daily musical stimuli, etc.).
c) Sex and Sexual Activities
My view is that "full renunciates" should practice celibacy as a means of combating the strongest form of attachment that people have (and avoiding controversies that would complicate ones practices) while "lay" individuals who wish to practice in the context of normal society should practice healthy, moderated sex. In general, I would encourage monogamous relationships to minimize the negative "drama" that generally follows open sexual relationships, even though open sexuality "logically" seems to be more defensible.
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