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 Posted: Wed Nov 21, 2007 10:38 pm
I need comments and opinions on this poem I made today.
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Posted: Wed Nov 21, 2007 10:41 pm
The Night
The night is like an endless sea of darkness,
It's only light is the moon and stars.
Some nights there is only the moon,
Others there is only the stars.
But there is still light
In the Endless sea of darkness.
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Posted: Wed Nov 21, 2007 10:45 pm
Arguments
They come and go each and every day,
But it still control our lives and emotions.
They can get out of control and turn into fights,
And some of them are in families.
It loves to ruin relationships that were once strong,
It's the most powerful and joyful thing it loves to do.
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Posted: Wed Nov 21, 2007 10:48 pm
Loyalty
It's one of the things people would kill to have.
It's one thing you have no choice but to do each day.
It is compared and based on trust.
It's neither easy nor hard to get.
It's neither weak nor strong.
It's one thing people see everyday.
It's Loyalty.
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Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 10:03 am
Either way is not a word I would use in a poem. Also, I would take away the But on the row above and but the But instead of Either way.
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Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 1:12 pm
thank you for your honest opinion, i shall fix it
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Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 7:29 am
Goodie you took in a posetive way. I dont want ot be a b***h =3
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Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 1:31 pm
it's ok. I'm new to poetry so i need some honest opinions. I'm use to writing short stories.
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 2:53 pm
i have to agree with amy mcgregor, but fix up those tiny spots and you can have it published!
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 4:12 pm
I think the ideas are really good! a few words make it hard to see the flow though.
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Posted: Sat Dec 15, 2007 4:05 pm
I know, I can see a good poem idea in my head but the problem is putting in words.
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Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 1:19 pm
you are a very talanted writer but you need some help with your literature and gramer if you have any questions pm me and i will answere them there but not here the advice i give is not for all public to be able to read so just pm me and i will help ninja
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Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 5:35 pm
overall, love it!!!!! heart
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