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Reply Art / Poetry / Literature - Related Topics
One of the Many Poems I Have Writen.

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Tainted-Sapphire-Rain

PostPosted: Mon Oct 01, 2007 11:55 am


Revenge

Please little girl put down the blade,
Your blood has been shed,
Your dept has been paid,
And the beast has been fed,

Rest easy child,
The crowd remains dead,
The Beast has gone wild,
It hides in the shed,

Let me hold you in the winter night,
Keeping you from the cold,
We will stay out of sight,
Chaos will soon unfold,

Your heart has been broken,
All your joy has fled,
The nasty creatures have taken this token,
I shall make them dread,

I'll pick up the pieces for you,
I'll help you to be whole once more,
I won't let it happen to you too,
They would but what for?

I won't let you suffer in pain,
I won't let you have fears,
You will only gain,
From my bloody tears,

So please little girl put down the blade,
Your blood has been shed,
Your dept has been paid,
Hope nothing is said.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Please leave comments.
PostPosted: Sun Oct 07, 2007 1:13 pm


wow..i really like it alot

Pixiie_False


Tainted-Sapphire-Rain

PostPosted: Sun Oct 07, 2007 4:04 pm


Pixiie_False
wow..i really like it alot

Thank you very much.
PostPosted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 12:55 pm


I love your work.

Aislin Paine


Bloody Loon

PostPosted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 7:06 pm


I really really like it, but I hope you don't mind a bit of constructive criticism.

There's just one thing, and it might just be my reading of it, but the first and the last lines of the poem seem off kilter, and they don't flow with the rest of the poem... I might have just read it wrong, but yeah, really, phenomenal work, some of the best I've seen.
PostPosted: Fri Jan 11, 2008 10:39 pm


Kaishi Kyouki
I really really like it, but I hope you don't mind a bit of constructive criticism.

There's just one thing, and it might just be my reading of it, but the first and the last lines of the poem seem off kilter, and they don't flow with the rest of the poem... I might have just read it wrong, but yeah, really, phenomenal work, some of the best I've seen.
Thank you, I didn't think it was quite that good. Also the lines don't really fit that well, thank you for that as well. 3nodding

Tainted-Sapphire-Rain


necromancy14

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 2:48 pm


This is really good. Full of meaning, it pulls you in. I love it.
PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 2:33 pm


necromancy14
This is really good. Full of meaning, it pulls you in. I love it.
Thank you, if you would like to see more I post poetry in my journal.

Tainted-Sapphire-Rain

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Art / Poetry / Literature - Related Topics

 
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