This is what I decided to write, to try and improve my skills at capturing human emotion and thought. I don't know why I settled on a madman, probably because they display so much of both. anyway here are the five i've written, I might make more if the feedback is possitive.
"Why am I here?" I had asked myself this many times now, wandering seemingly endlessly. I carried a tombstone on my back but for what purpose? Could it be my tombstone? Am I dead wandering for eternity? No it cannot possibly be. The tombstone is enscribed for 1920. How could I be dead if I'm not already born? Is it possible I have never existed in the first place? No, I must see the name of the dead man, the man who I am not, yet I carry the tombstone. Looking apon it I realize that indeed this isn't my tombstone, but the one of my grandfather. I cannot read the name clearly, yet I know it is him. Why though? Why do I carry this tombstone? And so I am brought back to my original question. One that I have no answer for. ~A madman's excerpts #1
"Am I sane or truely a madman?" The question ran through my mind even as I looked back on previous thoughts. Thoughts that in truth, I couldn't understand myself. They were just randome words, with no sequence constantly passing through my mind. Am I mad though? Does that justify my sanity, if any exists within my enclosed thoughts? Could I be sane just by knowing right now this very moment that I have the ability of rational thought, to question my sanity? Is that what makes a sane man? Are these thoughts running through my mind truely sane thoughts then? I suspect not, if they were I couldn't possibly question the rationality of my sanity. The questions running through my head ae too many too fast. They seem more distorted now, as if I can't recall them. Do these thoughts truely indicate either way my sanity? Am I sane or truely a madman? ~A madman's excerpts #2
"Who am I?" I believe a man should know this answer without having to ask himself, yet do any of us truely know? I have dug into this many times now, each time though I seem to get farther from the answer. My name, my pure identity is lost to me know. Have I pondered this too long? Is it truely a hopleless cause? I sit here now at my deask, a man with no identity, no past, no present. Only my thoughts racing through my head, which seem to lead me nowhere. My mother, my father, any of my siblings, they are lost to me now. Lost in the eternal nothingness that has become who I am. If only I could remember my name! I sit here continually probing my inner thoughs,trying to find the answer. I must ask myself this again before I lose sight of the question. Who am I? ~A madman's excerpts #3
"What does it mean to lose ones humanity?" I asked myself out loud even as I thought it in my head. Does humanity define if you are human? If so I believe I contain neither humanity or a shread of a human in me. The images... oh the images. They flash through my head and yet I know they are my own actions. Will god save me? I know I elieve in god, though I don't know why I believe or even when I started. Does that justify losing ones humanity? Falling from the lord? I think not, nor do I think it is justified by your actions. Even as I ramble on in my head, losing sight of my original purpose, I think that It is moreso something you are born with or without. No, that cannotbe either, I constantly contradict myself sitting here, always leading me back to where I started. What does it mean to lose one's humanity? ~A madman's excerpts #4
"Can a man's death justify the actions he has performed while in life?" I once again called apon my inner thoughts to answer the questions that seem unanswerable. If a man murders someone in his life, yet dies saving someone, does his last actions justify the previous? Can you truely redeem yourself, or crumble al you had acomplished in you life by your death? Can my own death determine, even reflect my actions in life? Why, how xome I must deal with these questions? Oh dear, the images... so many.... so many horrible things dealt by my hand! If what I ponder is true than there is no hope for me. My death shall be as pathetic as my life, rotting, having my questions unanswered. This is not about me though, but rather about all mankind, how they live, and how they die. Do I have a right to ponder this question. To truely answer with my quickly slipping thoughts... Can a man's death justify the actions he has performed while in life? ~A madman's excerpts #5
Reply
