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 Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2005 11:11 am
(I'm not sure if this makes a diffrence but I'm a guy)
Normally I wouldn't post something like this on gaia but I wasn't sure where else I could go. (I can't go to Life Issues too many peeps on gaia know me in real life. we're talking like 200+).
*act 1- the shoe drops*
3 weeks ago I talked to my gf and she said she needed time. That things were so hectic for her right now at home and Ubward Bound (It's like a collage prep thing during the summer) that she needed some time. That really messed me up, but I was handling it. That was just before my last week of work and leaving for 2 weeks in Virginia (yeah that didn't help me enjoy Virginia). So anyways before we hung up on the phone I asked her to tell me it wasn't forever, that we'd be back together soon. She promised me.
*act 2- the other shoe, a.k.a your F##ked*
So I found out last night that my friend's new gf is her best friend. She said she was sorry. I was confused. My gf told everyone we broke up. She's got another bf. But she doesn't know I know. After I found out last night I couldn't control my self I was laughing and crying at the same time. I flew into a fit of rage and just started punching my desk. I couldn't feel it though the adrenalin canceld out all the pain. I hit it so hard I split my knuckles.
*act 3- wtf. is it answers I want or simplicity*
I'm not mad at her, I never could be. I'm just mad at the world in general. It feels more like all this rage is directed at myself; creatign a cycle where it just continues to build. I can't help but think that in some way this is my fault. I've never hurt her, I've never sworn near her, I'm nice to her brothers, her parents like me. I don't know what I could have done. I'm just so F-ed. I don't know what to do.l I'm just so confused and hurt. I just wnat the pain on the outside to match the pain on the inside or for it all to just go away.
What do you do when the only person that can comfort you, is the reason you need comforting?
I don't know what I should do. I feel too guilty to confront her (not really sure what I'm guilty about) and in the same way I kinda don't wanna know the whole story.
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Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2005 12:36 pm
It sounds like you're not the one at fault. While you were off donig your own thing while she said she "needed time", she seems to have told everyone that youtwo broke up, got a new boyfriend, and "forgot" to notify you about anything.
It's not your fault, it's hers. It's her fault for telling people you broke up,it's her fault she got a new boyfriend, and it's her fault you're being put through so much emotional anguish.
I doubt it's all completely her fault, but from what I read, it seems like she's the instigator. I say calm down, take a bunch of deep breaths, fid some way of calmly talking about things with her, and see if the relationship can either be rekindled or if it's dead forever.
On a more personal note: It's kinda bitchy to dumpp someon and go out with other people, and neglect to tell the person you dumped anything.
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Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 6:04 am
Nothing can "comfort" really. That's one of those situations where it is going to suck no matter what you do. So all I can say is keep truckin'. It will get better as time goes on. Just think, you have your life ahead of you. Why be sad?
(I hope that helps)
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Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 9:44 am
I don't know what's going on. Her best friend says she still has strong feelings about me and that her new bf is nothing compared to me. She says he's a *insert profanity* and it won't last. I'll just have to wait and see I guess.
The wierd thing is I don't think I'd be sad if she didn't wnat to eb with me anymore, it just tears me up inside knowing that technicaly were still together and she's with another guy. If she'd had said it was over for some reason I don't think I'd care, but becasue she hasn't said to me that it's over....... I don't know it just confuses my heart and mind. I'll probably know by the end of August.
*holds up bottle of pepsi* here's to another 20 someodd day's of agony.
thx for the posts.
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Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 9:52 am
Don't give up hope on her yet...from her behavior it sounds like she's having some kind of a crisis or is just insanely confused about what she's feeling...
As far as I'm concered you have every right to feel what you're feeling..maybe worse...but keep in there..remember that people here are always available to talk to and also talk to your friends where you are...Don't loose hope, and i pray that your conflict is resolved sooner than the end of August.... heart
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Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 11:24 am
I had a girlfriend like that once. We were friends for a while after we broke up (I broke up with her because she cheated on me, just like she's cheated on EVERYONE she's been out with), but since then she's done the same s**t to several of my friends as she's done to me, and then she hurt me worse when she stole away the woman I loved. I got my woman back, but I don't speak to my ex anymore. That was the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back.
Anyway, my point is, if you're not sure if you want to be with her anymore, you probably don't. She's already proven that she's over you and that she doesn't care (sorry if that's hard to hear). So just move on. If you really need closure, then talk to her about it, but if she told everyone you two broke up, that probably means she's avoiding confrontation about it and wanted it to get around to you so she wouldn't have to tell you herself.
Move on... I know it's difficult, and it's hard to get used to being single again... but go out with your friends... spend some time alone. Think about the things you learned from your relationship and be thankful for that. That's what relationships are all about.
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Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2005 6:42 pm
It got worse. I sent her a letter basicly telling her exactly how I feel. That she made me want to live again. I told her I'd do anything for her, I'd do anything to prove my love. I told her everything I've been holding back. I told her that even now, I'm not angry at her and I never could be no matter what. I told her that I'd never hurt her.
I called her on the phone today after I had ocnfirmation she read the letter. I asked her if we could be together again. She answered with "I don't know". Before we hung up I asked her if there was any chance at all, she said she didn't know. Then she said "maybe I'm not the one. Maybe you should keep looking" but she said it so casualy. And she keeps saying "we'll always be friends."(yeah right up until i break dan's freakin teeth)I know I'm probably fighting for a lost cause but I'll keep fighting
I know I've already lost, but I won't stop trying my best, I'll hold on to the smallest thread, I'll keep holding on till the end.
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Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2005 1:00 am
Well, I'd advise you against that, but I know I'd do the same thing if I were in your place, so I have to encourage you. Not giving up is what landed me in the relationship I'm in, and I've never been happier before in my life.
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Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2005 9:07 am
bonnou It got worse. I sent her a letter basicly telling her exactly how I feel. That she made me want to live again. I told her I'd do anything for her, I'd do anything to prove my love. I told her everything I've been holding back. I told her that even now, I'm not angry at her and I never could be no matter what. I told her that I'd never hurt her. I called her on the phone today after I had ocnfirmation she read the letter. I asked her if we could be together again. She answered with "I don't know". Before we hung up I asked her if there was any chance at all, she said she didn't know. Then she said "maybe I'm not the one. Maybe you should keep looking" but she said it so casualy. And she keeps saying "we'll always be friends."(yeah right up until i break dan's freakin teeth)I know I'm probably fighting for a lost cause but I'll keep fighting I know I've already lost, but I won't stop trying my best, I'll hold on to the smallest thread, I'll keep holding on till the end. hon, it's not a lost cause is you belive in it. Pardon my language, but, ******** what others think! If you belive in it and yourself, nothing else matters.
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Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2005 12:07 pm
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Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2005 10:23 pm
np dude, just remeber, "those that mind, don't matter. And those that matter, don't mind"
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Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2005 9:26 pm
Spartan-4202 np dude, just remeber, "those that mind, don't matter. And those that matter, don't mind" I'm uselly on the other end of that quote biggrin
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