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 Posted: Sun Sep 30, 2007 1:15 pm
Gah, are the labels clear on lubricant bottles? Or do they hide the information on whether it's water/oil based somewhere?
You know, maybe lifers SHOULD see us at our vulnerable moments. They seem to think that pro-choicers, and especially women who have abortions, are callous or ignorant or just don't think it through. Today in the ADT, one of them asked if we believed in souls, and he was suprised to see that most of us did.
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Posted: Sun Sep 30, 2007 1:57 pm
I've never noticed hidden labels, and always make sure to go for water-based lube. I don't know if Boots is only a British chain-store but they claim to only seel lube safe for condom use. Plus they're 3 for 2 on condoms at the moment. (What? I like Boots and I like condoms. : P)
Although I did get an excellent little packet of free lube. KY Jelly I find dries up fairly quickly, but this stuff was Pasante I think. I've never tried the Durex stuff but I got a little bottle of Boots own brand to try.
Phaedra: I know that lifers have a lot of misconceptions about us that we repeatedly try to clear up. I'm almost the archetypal choicer, being that I'm feminist/atheist/don't really believe in souls/libertarian. It's not that I wouldn't be comfortable with other people seeing a vulnerable side to me, but I just think they'd see it as an excuse to attack us. Like, try to make our position weaker. The weird thing for me is that I can so empathise with the lifers, I really can. But at the same time I think they're incredibly stubborn and unrelenting and judgemental. I'm a hardcore pro-choicer, and I feel like even the tiniest crack will be an excuse for them to jump all over me. Plus I've got a lot of personal issues with abortion but I would defend anyone else's right for it to the death. Almost, anyway.
It's just that if we're seen as weak, then I feel like they won't respect us. They'll say we don't like abortion and continue to try to talk us round, and tell us lies about what we actually think. I would rather we surprise them continually then lets them see us as we are, warts and all, because the more we surprise them and show them they're wrong about us, the more likely they are to join us.
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Posted: Sun Sep 30, 2007 2:40 pm
Seeing the Kraken I've never noticed hidden labels, and always make sure to go for water-based lube. I don't know if Boots is only a British chain-store but they claim to only seel lube safe for condom use. Plus they're 3 for 2 on condoms at the moment. (What? I like Boots and I like condoms. : P) Although I did get an excellent little packet of free lube. KY Jelly I find dries up fairly quickly, but this stuff was Pasante I think. I've never tried the Durex stuff but I got a little bottle of Boots own brand to try. Thanks for the info. Quote: Phaedra: I know that lifers have a lot of misconceptions about us that we repeatedly try to clear up. I'm almost the archetypal choicer, being that I'm feminist/atheist/don't really believe in souls/libertarian. Change that last one to liber al, and you've got me. I guess pro-choicers really can be very similar... Quote: It's not that I wouldn't be comfortable with other people seeing a vulnerable side to me, but I just think they'd see it as an excuse to attack us. Like, try to make our position weaker. *sigh* I know, I know... I just wish that they could see us as actual people rather than enemies. But,then again... that's how I see them. I see them as people who I could never trust or be close to. I like to think I wouldn't jump all over them and try to pick at their "weak" parts, though. I've seen many pro-lifers try to guilt people, shame them, condemn them... there's even one certain person who I'm sure we all remember, who tried to say that girls with histories of abuse or trauma were "damaged goods" and that their opinions were not valid. He routinely pries at people's weakest points and then shoves it back in their face. I've never seen a choicer do that. To people's arguments and reasoning, maybe, but never to their feelings or personal history... I've never seen one of us deliberately try to hurt a person's feelings unless that person has said something really awful. It's like... give them an inch, and they'll take a mile. Tell them you don't like abortion personally, for example, and they'll try to say that that's guilt or that we're hypocrites. Quote: The weird thing for me is that I can so empathise with the lifers, I really can. But at the same time I think they're incredibly stubborn and unrelenting and judgemental. As much as I hate them and hate to admit this, I feel a little empathy, too. I remember when I first became a vegetarian, it was because of an awful, gory, exaggerated PETA pamphlet. I used to think meat was murder, and I used to think that comparing it to slavery and the holocaust was okay. I was swayed by emotional propaganda. However, I later calmed down and I still remain a vegetarian, but not a fanatical one. I remember looking at pro-life propaganda and comparing it to PETA propaganda, and thinking "Well, PETA, you suck, you're just as awful as the pro-life fanatics!" but also "Oh my gosh, I fell for it. I was just as bad as a pro-life fanatic! Hey, maybe if I saw one of their pamphlets instead that day, I'd be pro-life!" I feel like they're an alternate version of me, almost. They've found a cause that they believe in, and they fight to protect it. ...It just happens to be the one that favors potential over actuality and a fetus over a woman... They're the anti-Phaedra! Quote: I'm a hardcore pro-choicer, and I feel like even the tiniest crack will be an excuse for them to jump all over me. Plus I've got a lot of personal issues with abortion but I would defend anyone else's right for it to the death. Almost, anyway. *nods* I've seen them do it. The littlest bit of indecisivenss, and they're all over you. It's awful. And... I feel weird saying this, especially after I just talked about learning that it's not good to be a fanatic... But I would defend this to the death. If some crazy supernatural force came out of nowhere and said it would defend abortion rights for all eternity if someone would sacrifice their life... I'd do it. (Not slavery, though, oddly...) I would walk women to the clinic in a bulletproof vest. I'd jump in front of a bullet to save one of those women. Or the doctors, or the clinic workers. I'd rather die than lose my freedom of choice. It sounds crazy, and maybe it is, but I mean it. Quote: It's just that if we're seen as weak, then I feel like they won't respect us. They'll say we don't like abortion and continue to try to talk us round, and tell us lies about what we actually think. I would rather we surprise them continually then lets them see us as we are, warts and all, because the more we surprise them and show them they're wrong about us, the more likely they are to join us. *nods* I guess that's all we can do.
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Posted: Mon Oct 08, 2007 11:34 pm
Seeing the Kraken Peppermint Schnapps 27 Names for Tears I've never felt conflicted as to what I'd do if I got pregnant accidentally (then again, I'd never get pregnant on purpose). Ever since I was a little kid and knew what pregnancy was, the whole idea of pregnancy and then childbirth well...disgusted and terrified me. I'm not trying to offend anybody, but it did and still does. I know I'd abort, because I'd rather die than go through pregnancy and childbirth (and I do mean it literally). I guess I sound like the 'cold, heartless, child-hating' people that pro-lifers seem to think all choicers are. But I'm not. I encourage women to make their own choices. But I'd abort 100 times if I had to (obviously I won't get pregnant 100 times, but I'm illustrating my point). I've felt this way since I was younger, maybe 10 or 11, and I don't see it changing. wow, your post actually made me feel a little bit better. it's nice to know that someone shares my sentiments. 3nodding see, i've got the same problem, but it's the exact opposite. meaning, i've aborted twice and i feel that if i get pregnant again that i HAVE to keep it. i know it's my choice, and that (legally) it doesn't make any difference whether i've been pregnant once before or ten times. it's not that i couldn't deal with it because i know i can. rather, it's the fact that quite a lot of people look down on women who have aborted even two or more times. now, don't get me wrong, i don't go off having unprotected sex just HOPING that i won't get preggers, i protect myself. i guess Trojan and Plan B just don't like me. so, just wondering, does anyone have any insight here? srsly, i have to have the SHITTIEST luck of any 19 year old female on the planet. I'm guessing that you can't get/use hormonal BC? Otherwise it'd be the obvious choice. Or an IUD or something. I'm changing from the Pill to the implant 'cause I worry so much about missing it. Thankfully I don't have any expectation on myself and no-one else expects me to do anything particularly brilliant with my life, since I'm not going to uni, so I wouldn't worry about my education or anything. But my boyfriend just started uni and it'd screw up his life if I got pregnant. My parents probably wouldn't want me to stay pregnant, but I can't say much else because I don't know. I know that my sister had an abortion but I really don't know if I could. Plus my boyfriend's mum isn't exactly against abortion, but she doesn't like it, so I don't know how she'd react. (And I'd also have four people to worry about on his side, since both his parents have long-term partners). So overall I really don't know. I just hope that it doesn't come to that for me ever. well, to start, my genetics come from a long line of extremely fertile Catholics (my great grandmother had 17 --no, i'm not kidding-- kids and a miscarraige and my grandmother had 11 kids and stillborn). one teeny tiny mistake and i'm boned. i can use Progestin only birth control methods, but with my family history of strokes and heart attacks, i can't use birth control containing estrogen. unfortunately, my stupid blood takes a pretty good chunk out of which methods i can and can't use. add to that the fact that until just recently i was also a smoker, which dramatically increased my risk for heart attack or stroke while taking progestin only birth control pills (the irony in all this is that being pregnant is what caused me to quit smoking because my cigarettes tasted weird and the smell nearly made me puke). since i quit smoking i finally feel like i can take my pills without dying, but i'm not sexually active right now so i only take them for shorter, lighter periods. my doctor said she would call my mom's insurance company to find out if they would cover an IUD or Noruplant. even if they won't, i've got a sneaking suspicion that i'll be shelling out the $500 anyway. problem is, if i do that, i can't pay for my college tuition. i wasn't using a method of birth control this time, but i made sure he put on a condom. lot of good that did me after the damn thing broke. i thought that taking Plan B as soon as i could manage afterwards would help me out, but it didn't work (obviously, otherwise i wouldn't be here saying all this). so, the way i look at it, i did everything i could. as i said before, taking birth control pills while i was smoking wouldn't have been a smart move. while taking birth control (back in the day when all birth control had estrogen in it), my mom's cousin had two strokes two different times and had to re-learn how to swallow. yeah... that kinda scared me away. even though my pills don't contain estrogen, i'm still nervous about taking them because, personally, i'd rather go through another unwanted pregnancy than have a stroke. as of now i'm planning on obtaining my associate's degree as a paralegal and moving on to attend law school at the University of Iowa. ever since i found out i couldn't be a vampire or a cheetah when i grew up, i've wanted to be a defense attorney. for the time being, i've put my dream of owning 15 cars above my sex drive. i like to do stupid s**t, so i know that i have to be using some kind of reliable birth control before i go to college. i don't like pills very much because if something comes up, i'll forget to take them on time. that and the whole stroke thing kind of unnerve me... so, say i do all that s**t (which i fully intend to in the next month or so) and still wind up pregnant. what then?
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Posted: Tue Oct 09, 2007 3:09 am
Peppermint Schnapps Seeing the Kraken Peppermint Schnapps 27 Names for Tears I've never felt conflicted as to what I'd do if I got pregnant accidentally (then again, I'd never get pregnant on purpose). Ever since I was a little kid and knew what pregnancy was, the whole idea of pregnancy and then childbirth well...disgusted and terrified me. I'm not trying to offend anybody, but it did and still does. I know I'd abort, because I'd rather die than go through pregnancy and childbirth (and I do mean it literally). I guess I sound like the 'cold, heartless, child-hating' people that pro-lifers seem to think all choicers are. But I'm not. I encourage women to make their own choices. But I'd abort 100 times if I had to (obviously I won't get pregnant 100 times, but I'm illustrating my point). I've felt this way since I was younger, maybe 10 or 11, and I don't see it changing. wow, your post actually made me feel a little bit better. it's nice to know that someone shares my sentiments. 3nodding see, i've got the same problem, but it's the exact opposite. meaning, i've aborted twice and i feel that if i get pregnant again that i HAVE to keep it. i know it's my choice, and that (legally) it doesn't make any difference whether i've been pregnant once before or ten times. it's not that i couldn't deal with it because i know i can. rather, it's the fact that quite a lot of people look down on women who have aborted even two or more times. now, don't get me wrong, i don't go off having unprotected sex just HOPING that i won't get preggers, i protect myself. i guess Trojan and Plan B just don't like me. so, just wondering, does anyone have any insight here? srsly, i have to have the SHITTIEST luck of any 19 year old female on the planet. I'm guessing that you can't get/use hormonal BC? Otherwise it'd be the obvious choice. Or an IUD or something. I'm changing from the Pill to the implant 'cause I worry so much about missing it. Thankfully I don't have any expectation on myself and no-one else expects me to do anything particularly brilliant with my life, since I'm not going to uni, so I wouldn't worry about my education or anything. But my boyfriend just started uni and it'd screw up his life if I got pregnant. My parents probably wouldn't want me to stay pregnant, but I can't say much else because I don't know. I know that my sister had an abortion but I really don't know if I could. Plus my boyfriend's mum isn't exactly against abortion, but she doesn't like it, so I don't know how she'd react. (And I'd also have four people to worry about on his side, since both his parents have long-term partners). So overall I really don't know. I just hope that it doesn't come to that for me ever. well, to start, my genetics come from a long line of extremely fertile Catholics (my great grandmother had 17 --no, i'm not kidding-- kids and a miscarraige and my grandmother had 11 kids and stillborn). one teeny tiny mistake and i'm boned. i can use Progestin only birth control methods, but with my family history of strokes and heart attacks, i can't use birth control containing estrogen. unfortunately, my stupid blood takes a pretty good chunk out of which methods i can and can't use. add to that the fact that until just recently i was also a smoker, which dramatically increased my risk for heart attack or stroke while taking progestin only birth control pills (the irony in all this is that being pregnant is what caused me to quit smoking because my cigarettes tasted weird and the smell nearly made me puke). since i quit smoking i finally feel like i can take my pills without dying, but i'm not sexually active right now so i only take them for shorter, lighter periods. my doctor said she would call my mom's insurance company to find out if they would cover an IUD or Noruplant. even if they won't, i've got a sneaking suspicion that i'll be shelling out the $500 anyway. problem is, if i do that, i can't pay for my college tuition. i wasn't using a method of birth control this time, but i made sure he put on a condom. lot of good that did me after the damn thing broke. i thought that taking Plan B as soon as i could manage afterwards would help me out, but it didn't work (obviously, otherwise i wouldn't be here saying all this). so, the way i look at it, i did everything i could. as i said before, taking birth control pills while i was smoking wouldn't have been a smart move. while taking birth control (back in the day when all birth control had estrogen in it), my mom's cousin had two strokes two different times and had to re-learn how to swallow. yeah... that kinda scared me away. even though my pills don't contain estrogen, i'm still nervous about taking them because, personally, i'd rather go through another unwanted pregnancy than have a stroke. as of now i'm planning on obtaining my associate's degree as a paralegal and moving on to attend law school at the University of Iowa. ever since i found out i couldn't be a vampire or a cheetah when i grew up, i've wanted to be a defense attorney. for the time being, i've put my dream of owning 15 cars above my sex drive. i like to do stupid s**t, so i know that i have to be using some kind of reliable birth control before i go to college. i don't like pills very much because if something comes up, i'll forget to take them on time. that and the whole stroke thing kind of unnerve me... so, say i do all that s**t (which i fully intend to in the next month or so) and still wind up pregnant. what then? Yikes... well, as far as I can tell, you're doing the best you can. If I was in your position I don't think I'd really want to be having sex, but I can't say for sure because even with having to pay for uni, I can still get healthcare free (yay NHS!). I can see why hormonal BC would unnerve you, though. And that fertility is just wow. I think the most amount of kids anyone's had in my family is four, and that was probably an accident. I just don't want to feel the responsibility if I DID get pregnant, knowing it'd probably be my fault. I suppose if you can't get on other BC then ever if you forget/miss Pills and use condoms you'll still be more protected than if you weren't taking the pill. But yeah, you do have pretty bad luck. >.<
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Posted: Tue Oct 09, 2007 11:47 pm
For me, at this stage in my life, abortion is the only way to go. I don't think I'd regret it, for the reason that I don't want children, have never wanted children, and don't like children very much. Pregnancy, to me, sounds... terrifying. It's not someone I'd ever want to go through.
But I can easily imagine people whose feelings are the polar opposite of mine, love kids, want kids, and despite being pro-choice, the idea of actually needing to abort is appalling- even if it's the logical choice. I look at my mom, and see the kind of love and amount of time and effort she devotes to taking care of me and my sister to get a good idea of that kind of love people instinctively have towards children.
So no, I can't blame pro-choicers at all for wanting children, and not liking the idea of abortion at all, even if children aren't the best idea at the time. The fact that we're choicers definitely makes it harder, since we realize that the results of how we decide rest solely on us, and both options are available.
And it's doubly irritating when lifers try to take this as a "this is your realize deep down inside of your human conscience that abortion is an evil, horrible thing that should be restricted from all women!!"
I guess I'd say it's a little like absolutely adoring ice cream and wanting to get some- but knowing that it's bad for you. Except this example sounds really shallow. Children are 2035820382 times more important than ice cream, and would have just about as much more impact on your life than an extra pound.
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Posted: Wed Oct 10, 2007 9:32 pm
Seeing the Kraken Yikes... well, as far as I can tell, you're doing the best you can. If I was in your position I don't think I'd really want to be having sex, but I can't say for sure because even with having to pay for uni, I can still get healthcare free (yay NHS!). I can see why hormonal BC would unnerve you, though. And that fertility is just wow. I think the most amount of kids anyone's had in my family is four, and that was probably an accident. I just don't want to feel the responsibility if I DID get pregnant, knowing it'd probably be my fault. I suppose if you can't get on other BC then ever if you forget/miss Pills and use condoms you'll still be more protected than if you weren't taking the pill. But yeah, you do have pretty bad luck. >.< right now, even though i'm not sexually active, i'm really glad that i quit smoking so i can take my pills. i've always liked the idea of a lighter period, too. ^^ i've figured out that my biggest problem with another abortion would be the part of my mind telling me repeatedly that there was something else i could have done. even if i do everything short of sterilization to avoid a pregnancy, i'd still feel like it was all my fault. until i can get a more reliable form of birth control i plan on abstaining. even if something comes up i am taking my pills on time as best i can every night, and i always use condoms so it's just nice to know that i have that extra bit of protection. i really wish there was a way for me to give my fertility to someone who wants it. if i could switch uteruses (uterii? i don't know.) with an infertile woman, i'd do it in a heartbeat.
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