Welcome to Gaia! ::

Through the years my life has gotten worse and worse.. plainly i had living with my family. so far i have spent all summer in my room , since there is no point on going outside. Everyday i have at least up too 5 fights with one parent or both.
For starters my mom is horrible she yells at me for every little thing i.e. i left my room slightly dirty as in i didn't make my bed and left some books on the ground... she locked my room shut and made me sleep outside for two days with nothing to sleep with..( i slept with the kitty for warmth) ( later i broke the window to my room and got in). SHe hurts me verbally calling me a b***h , and fatass and that she wishes she had a better daughter.
My father is a truck driver and since he is never home i am very happy with that, but when he is home he drinks a lot of beer and does mainly nothing around the house. When he is around he calls me so many names that are hurtful to me he calls me stupid and dumbass. And threatens me that if i don't do something he is going to kill my cat or throw him away
( my cat is the only thing that keeps me happy at my house). He makes me feel so sad and just makes me hate myself soo much. Well both of them make me hate myself , like i don't already.
They cover it up when we are in public as if they are the best parents in the world and smile and all that s**t. Sure we go out and go shopping as a normal family, though it's all fake. I love the week days since they are never home my mum doesn't get home till 6pm and my dad hardly ever. Just the weekends are hell for us. or whenever they are actually come home. This is when i go to my room which is the only place at home that i like. MY relationship with them is horrible or to put it this way there is no relationship. I have so much hatrd for them i don't even respect them anymore i call my mum every word pretty much and can't get a sentence through without a sarcastc comment followed. I don't even call her mum anymore, it disgusts me.
I know i'm not the best daugther now but i used to be i used to care for wat they thought of me, but now i don't give a s**t on wat they think anymore. Now i don't bother to do anything and be a good daughter like i used to, well i'm not all bad i'm a good student, i play an instrument, i do most of my chores when i'm told. It's just i wish i can talk to them about my life, that i don't have to go to my ex boyfriends mom for help or i don't have to go talk to ppl miles away .
I just wish i had my mum, i envy the ones who get to be picked right from school , while i have to walk, the ones who get to have their friends over at their house and not be afraid, the ones who have friends for dinner, the ones who hang out with their moms and not have to be afraid for the day to end up badly. I just wish i hada mum that actually paid attention to me and acted like the cared for me. I wish i didn't feel alone all the time, i messed up things with my bf because i couldn't tell him wat was going on with me, i like to keep these thngs to myself , i don't like to tell the bad things about me for i'm afraid they would care to much for me and end up dead , this is wat happened to someone very special to me and i miss him everyday, i have a guilt feeling whenever i tell someone wat's the matter with me a fear i have for someone to care for me that much I don't want to end up hurt again,
i can't take the pain anymore i've had enough. i wish i didn't have to cry everyday for the tears would dry up someday, for someone to know wat has happened to me , and thats for who ever felt like this please talk to me, i need someone now more then ever. i think i;ve lost my strength to hide the tears and shed them only at night where no one could hear me or see me. To make the pain stop, to know at least someone cares for me , to not feel alone ever. i'm sorry for the whole novel of text i just had to let the words escape onto for someone to read this. and i'm sorry if most of it doesn't make sense. i'm just so confused i don't 'think anymore.

How old are you?
You could always file to become emancipated.