The little pickup bounced along the road, muddy potholes jarring the two leafy cabbages in back. "Slow down!" yelled Joanie, her hands gripping the dashboard tightly. The little lap belt barely secured her to the seat, every bump threatening to bounce her straight through the windshield. Her once-perfect dirty blonde hair was now a frazzled mess.

Her partner, Marcian, relentlessly ground his way through the gears of the old stick shift. This pickup was someone's idea of a joke on the two of them. All the other official vehicles were polished white vans, or sleek dark blue hovercars with lots of interesting buttons that were never to be pushed. Joanie and Marcian, when they needed to make deliveries, always got stuck with the truck. "You're the one that wanted to take the back road," sneered Marcian.

"If I hadn't said that, we would still be stuck in traffic!" Joanie replied. She was perfectly capable of giving as good as she got from Marcian, which was the basis of their relationship.

Marcian had to admit she was right. Ever since the release of Gaian cars, the streets had been packed. When they spotted the little dirt turnoff, they took it, glad to get away from the congestion and into clear driving.

Then the road turned nasty. Mud, potholes, rocks, and the occasional fallen tree branch. No wonder no one else had taken the turnoff. The natives probably thought the drivers of the pickup were mad for even trying.

They were still heading in roughly the right direction, their plan being to drive out and hook up with a paved road again nearer to their destination. The traffic would be lighter farther from Barton Town and they would be able to reach their destination. Assuming they survived this.

Joanie let out a scream as the pickup careened suddenly sideways, nearly overturning in her mind. If she were driving the ride would be so much more comfortable, but Joanie did not know how to drive a stick shift.

Neither noticed the cargo in the back go bouncing straight out of the pickup. Marcian was too focused on his driving, Joanie on her envisioned death in this truck. The pair of cabbages went soaring out, hit a hillside, and rolled down in their pots, coming rest in a streak of mud. By a miracle one landed right-side up. The other was not so lucky.

---

Some miles down the road, the pickup stopped. The road had forked and they went left, but then the road ended in a painted wooden barrier and hillock of weedy plants. "Damn," said Marcian, shifting the truck into reverse.

"Wait!" said Joanie, and Marcian halted. "Can we just stop for a moment?"

"Why?" asked Marcian.

"Because I'm effing scared and tired!" Joanie responded. "I think I'm gonna be sick." They waited a few moments and the feeling subsided.

It was dead quiet out here, and almost pretty in a nearly-wild countryside sort of way. Marcian tapped his fingers on the door frame and wondered where they were exactly. Gaia was usually so crowded you could hardly breathe.

Joanie retrieved her lunch from under her seat, smoothing out the brown paper bag uselessly. The sandwich was mashed and the potato chips in pieces. Only the soda can was undamaged, but Joanie decided to let it sit a few minutes before popping it open just in case. She delicately peeled the plastic off her sandwich and handed the chips to Marcian.

"if we're going to be here, we may as well enjoy it," she reasoned.

"Oh," said Marcian in intrigued agreement, taking out a tiny piece of chip. He popped it in his mouth and chewed it exaggeratedly, causing Joanie to giggle.

They were probably going to be there a while.

---

Sitting in the muddy spot, the pair of cabbages could do nothing. They could not run, they could not shout, they could not do anything to get out of their predicament except wriggle their leaves slightly and wait for help to arrive. The same could not be said of the bundles they carried.

Somewhere in their computational minds, the cabbages had the instincts of good parents. They were plants and computers, but thanks to their ability to craft nullspace in their leafy heads they were so much more than either fact. They were souled in way usually reserved for demigods or creators. Even if they did not raise their offspring, they did have an interest in their creations' success. The two cabbages networked, calculated the decision, and prepared to try and give their precious bundles the best and only chance they could in their position.

The cabbages shifted, leaves pulling and twisting in a way most unnatural. The outer leaves bent back so far they were wrapped back against the pot, the inner leaves unwrapping around the central cavity like a camera shutter opening or a tornado widening. This had the effect of flattening the upside-down cabbage further to the ground. The process went on for some minutes until only the innermost leaves remained. They opened at once and revealed their passengers to the world.