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 Posted: Thu Jan 12, 2006 5:02 pm
Antony hadn't left the spot that he had left her in, and when she heard someone crash out from the jungle, she visibly jumped. Immediately going to wipe her face dry, and then her nose. She damn didn't want to look like she had been crying the entire time, even though she had.
She was stronger than that.
At least, she wanted to appear that way, but her attempts were failing miserably. The tattooed woman didn't dare approach Jamal after the look she had seen in his eyes.
The water had risen to the point where it was lapping at her toes, but she didn't pay any attention to it. Her mind had been going through way too many things that she had tucked far away in the back of her mind. Things she had forgotten, or tried to forget anyways.
Her thoughts continued to venture towards the possibility of getting pregnant. Not to mention pregnant on the middle of this island, with no possibility of an abortion and not nearly enough food.
Finally, after a lot of thought, Antony weakly called out to him, voice cracking, "Jamal?" It took all she had not to break into tears again, "I... please let me explain."
Then after that he could ignore her again.
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Posted: Thu Jan 12, 2006 5:15 pm
Jamal hadn't noticed her down by the water's edge, as he hadn't been looking for her. His goal was the fire where the shovel and knife were strewn in the sand, though his guard was up. He was pretty sure that Antony had some other factor that had sent her off the deep end, but he didn't know what and if it was still an ongoing thing; he didn't really fancy dying there on a beach at the hands of a woman much smaller than himself.
He was still angry though, but faintly enough to where he could keep himself in control. It was hard to be genial when you just had the s**t choked out of you.
When she called out to him, he had to suppress the urge to ignore her under the pretense of having to fix their trap, but the crack and audible emotion in her weak cry made him rethink that. He couldn't ever remember her being so ******** up as to be on the verge of tears...if he had been paying more attention, he would have noticed this during their 'fight', but he had been understandably distracted.
He then noticed that she hadn't moved from where she was knocked down and that she looked liked hell warmed over.
Don't be a jerk....
She tried to KILL you dumbass!
His expression grew bland and emotionless as he veered his course to the fire, opting to at least see what she had to say. She looked horrible...horrible enough to where he almost felt bad. There had to be a good reason for her to go batshit nuts on him...right?
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Posted: Thu Jan 12, 2006 5:30 pm
She glanced up when he came over towards her, but quickly turned her eyes to the sand in front of her, a weak attempt to hide her face.
The broken woman had to open and close her mouth before she could form words. "My birth control's in my duplex." Her voice cracked, tears threatening to spill out again, but she forced them back.
No more tears.
There was obviously more to her freaking out earlier, but Antony felt that she had to start somewhere.
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Posted: Thu Jan 12, 2006 5:36 pm
Jamal blinked slowly, not quite understanding why this was something worth choking him over. It wasn't his fault her birth control was in her duplex...was she scared just over that? Yeah, that sucked. He hadn't really thought about this last night (but she obviously hadn't either).
He gave her a silent look that remained mostly emotionless, but also gave her the impression to continue if there was anything else. Seriously, if killing him over her lack of birth control was it....
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Posted: Thu Jan 12, 2006 6:10 pm
Antony kept her eyes on the sand, but could feel his look, "I've been pregnant before..." She trailed off, running her hand over her face to try and calm herself.
"He... More than once... In high school." Each addition to her explanation felt like a new knife being stabbed into her stomach.
"Look... I don't want to be a ******** sob story. I don't want pity..." Pausing liberally, she absently dug her toes into the wet sand as a new wave came and crashed over her legs. "I was 'in love' with him, and for some stupid reason, I thought that he loved me. Young and stupid. It was great until I got pregnant the first time... I ran to him, terrified..."
She choked back a sob, gritting her teeth and taking a deep breath before continuing, voice unsteady once more, "He hit me... Over, and over... In the stomach..." Her arms instinctively wrapped around herself like she had earlier. "I miscarried..."
"Said if I told anyone, he'd kill me... And he still wouldn't use a condom. I was too scared to go get the pill... All of this for love..." She still wouldn't look up at him, having a hard enough time holding it together for her sake, "The second time I tested positive, my dad found the... Tester thing in the trash..."
There was a long pause while she swallowed back some more tears, "I had an abortion. My dad went with me..."
Antony sigh, reaching up to wipe away the few tears that somehow escaped. "I broke it off with the guy, and he didn't like that... Not at all... I woke up in the hospital. Dad mad me press charges. He would call me with death threats at all hours of the morning..."
She stopped, not really able to continue and not thinking that any more of the details were needed. "I thought you were him..."
Pausing, she grew quiet once more, glancing up at him nervously.
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Posted: Thu Jan 12, 2006 6:27 pm
Jamal listened quietly to her explaination, careful to not pass any sort of premature judgement on her sanity throughout it. As the story went, it made more sense...not entire sense, but enough to where he could understand at least a little. Being as he was, he couldn't completely sympathize...he'd never been or COULD be in that situation.
What he didn't understand was how she could mistake him for this a*****e she spoke of. Yeah, he could be a d**k...but to intentionally cause a woman...a -pregnant- woman...harm? That was crossing the line. How could she have gone from sleeping into a raving psycho so fast?
He sighed and rubbed his eyes wearily with a hand, eyes half lidded as he tried to decide what he ought to say or do at this point. Okay...so obviously the no birth control thing freaked her out...it had never been a problem for him (and somehow he'd escaped knocking anyone up)...but he could at least see where she's coming from.
But he didn't know what to do. Was he supposed to reassure her? He honestly had no clue. She didn't want pity and he wasn't going to give it if she didn't want it. This obviously and understandibly bothered her enough to put her in tears though, which was a state he hadn't seen her in before.
To spare her from having to look up at him, he settled down in the sand in front of her and just looked at her face, trying to think of something worthwhile to say.
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Posted: Thu Jan 12, 2006 6:41 pm
"I have an anger problem..." She frowned, figuring she might as well admit it, "Obviously... Blind rages... Earlier, it all happened so fast... Deja vu--"
Antony abruptly stopped when he moved to sit down in front of her, startled that he was still there. Her eyes immediately went back to the sand, unsure of what to do or say.
It was a long silence, the waves continuing to crash around her, and now him.
"Never again..." She murmured, tightening her arms around herself.
She looked even more drained, weak even, and that was a rare look for the tattooed woman. Closing her eyes, she shook off a couple of fresh tears, sighing deeply, "I haven't told anyone in a long time..."
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Posted: Thu Jan 12, 2006 6:52 pm
Anger problem...well...that was the understatement of the year. He had first-hand experience of this fact.
But a lot of this explained why Antony was how she was...why all her comments about relationships were clipped, overgeneralized, and showed an obvious lack of attachment. It was all fine and dandy with him; he wasn't looking for anything serious now that the Awen thing was ruined (which was his fault as much as he didn't want to admit it)...but he hadn't meant to make her pull the skeletons out of the closet.
He felt like he ought to say something profound but Jamal was never good at that sort of thing unless he was wooing the ladies and this was definately not one of those times. Jamal was instead faced with a very upset woman that might have a bigger problem later on if the worst scenario came to life. He felt bad, but he was still angry, as self-centered as that sounded.
Yet she looked so weak and vulnerable there crumpled on the beach as the water lapped impatiently at them. He couldn't help feel protective of her; she was likely the last person on the island that considered him a human being...a friend no less...and dared to confide such personal trauma in him.
"Come'ere," he finally murmured, extending a hand palm up to her in a beckoning gesture. She looked like she needed a hug at the very least, and that was something he could offer...as long as she didn't try to kill him again.
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Posted: Thu Jan 12, 2006 7:03 pm
Antony blinked when he finally spoke, hesitating a moment before pushing herself over and into his arms, and eventually crawling into his lap. Nuzzling absently into his chest, she wrapped her arms around his waist and burried her head into where his neck and chest connected.
"I'm so sorry," she warbled, finally letting a few sobs and a handful of tears leak out when he couldn't see her. Nevermind the fact that he could probably feel all of the above. "It won't happen again... I promise..."
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Posted: Thu Jan 12, 2006 7:19 pm
Being barechested, he could most certainly feel the dampness of tears on her cheeks as she nuzzled dangerously close to the sore, abused flesh of his neck. He didn't care that she cried; from the sound of it, she needed to. The indignant anger slowly replaced itself with a sort of helpless frustration at the situation as she quivered and clung to him like the vines he destroyed not that long ago in his own fit of anger.
He cradled her carefully in his lap, arms loosely about her middle as he let his chin and cheek rest lightly on the top of her head.
"I ain't mad no more," he said quietly. "Ya scared da s**t outta me. I ain't gonna lie." It was pretty obvious he felt bad about the entire situation. He normally never admitted when he was caught offguard, thinking it only gave people ideas on how to get at him later...he hoped this wouldn't backfire later, even if it was another 'accident' that came to pass.
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Posted: Thu Jan 12, 2006 7:31 pm
She nodded, tightening her embrace when he said he wasn't mad anymore, relaxing into his arms. "M'sorry..."
Antony felt horrible about what she did to him, and was grateful that he was even remotely forgiving her. Hoping, praying even, that he shot blanks or didn't have strong swimmers, Antony sent out a request to every one of the gods that she knew of.
Please don't let her get pregnant.
Her eyes opened, and when they focused, she gasped slightly at the sight of his neck. "I did... Holy s**t..." Tactful as always.
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Posted: Thu Jan 12, 2006 7:40 pm
Well, thus far, Jamal had been doing a good job of NOT knocking anyone up...so until he was proved otherwise, he'd continue to believe that everything would work out fine. They wouldn't know for awhile anyway.
Her comment about his neck made him frown a bit. He couldn't see the damage, but he could feel it and knew it probably wasn't pretty. Jamal was somewhat astounded he could talk at all; his throat was sore, which was to be expected, but she could have crushed his larynx with the pressure she had on it.
"It'll heal," he said blandly, mentally chalking up that injury with all the others that he had sustained thus far during this little escapade in the wilderness. Jamal really didn't want her to freak out about the fact that she made his neck looked like raw hamburger and seriously almost killed him in the process. "It don't hurt dat bad."
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Posted: Thu Jan 12, 2006 7:54 pm
Antony frowned, but accepted his response, feeling quite guilty.
Her stomach grumbled loudly and she blinked, glancing at the jungle. "The trap," she muttered abruptly, "Did you check it?"
She was hopeful, and damn hungry. That and she wanted to know if their trap had work, and it was a mighty fine subject change as well. "I'm starving..."
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Posted: Thu Jan 12, 2006 7:58 pm
Sadly, that subject only brought more bad news...but she asked...
"I did," he said slowly, the look on his face clearly giving an impression of disappointment that he felt intensely, remembering the damage he'd come upon. "Somethin' fell in, but it broke off most of da spikes 'n' caved it in on da side...no sign of where it might'a gone. I don't think it got dat hurt cause I didn't see much blood."
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Posted: Thu Jan 12, 2006 8:03 pm
The news was disappointing, but she wanted to see for herself. "It's a damn good start then... Let's go see what we can do."
Standing carefully with a sort of determined second wind, Antony made her way over to where the rest of her clothes were, immediately pulling them on. She was working on her boots when her stomach gave her a grand growl. It only fueled her fervor.
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