|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 11:45 am
Taishiro Kai (I am posting as one of my older characters. Izahel, he comes naturally to me and is easier for me to RP with especially at a good magnitude.) The vibration of the wolves growls pierced through the air. They hit his ear lightly which caused it to twitch from reaction and sheer interest. The soft form of his lip curled upward toward the left corner. The grin that appeared over his face flashed only the slightest of his white teeth. The grin that he gave sent life into the dull golden optics. He slid his right hand out of his pocket and gently nudges thesmall strands of hair gently from his left eye. his fingers ducking the silver hair behind his ear. I can feel it.. There has to be something interesting this way.. even if it is lowly wolves it could just give me a clue as to why my satellites won't pick up images in this direction. His right hand slid form his neck to the zipper on the strap of the backpack that hung so loosely upon his shoulder and drapped across his waist to hold the bag upon the opposite side. He gripped the opening of a pouch letting a rectangular square wrapper slide into his hand. He close the puch only with his pink and began to entrically move his fingers around the rectangle still skillfully holding the object. The wrapped peeling off as the fingers calculate and pull it form the brown bar that is revealed. He Brings the wrapper to the corner of his lips. his teeth opening gripping down upon the edge of the bar and ripping it from the rest of it. The chocolate flowing into his mouth as his teeth tears away at the geometry of the object. he begins to place each pale white foot infront of the other as he begins to walk toward the sounds he heard earlier. The chocolate bar slowly disapearing from his hand as he walks in interest. He stops as he comes into view of the black wolf with chains around the paws. The wolves appear to be in some kind of territorial altercation. He grips a big chunk of the bar with his teeth as he hears the wolves speak english despite their forms. His eyes widen with interest as his mind begins to grind upon the possibilities of what phenomenon could possibly possess these creatures to have the intellect to speak. He found his subjects for now. Pass. Excellent job, impressive with the length and descriptiveness... Only keep in mind thoughts are italicized. Watch capitalization here and there, but otherwise it's fine. Using a different color is generally to differentiate when you're rping two/more characters under you (who happens to be in the same area). Though some people prefer using a certain color when rping a certain character, to reflect character personality. Here following is other colors past the default ones offered by Gaia. ^0^ Have fun finding a fitting one~ http://www.gaiaonline.com/forum/gaia-guides-and-resources/text-color-codes-new-feature/t.7472495/
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 03, 2009 2:14 am
erm err im just gonna try lol for i seen every one elses so mine mostlickly be quiet pathetic compair to thiers sweatdrop here goes
RP Example: As Noctis leaves the acadamey in shame from another fail in passing he heads off home with his head bowed low nudging people as he walks by.
"Another fail....at this rate I shall never pass" Noctis suddenly stops and looks up "Someday I will become a fully pledge ninja with my own head band and make sis proud" He goes back to the bowing of the headand proced on walking.
An hour has gone since he left the acadamey final reaching his home. Slipping off his shoes. Sliding the door open, walking in trying to avoid his sister. "How did it go?" the voice sounded younge soft and fenimen, This point Noctis knew he has been caught. "Hey sis" he said nerviously poppin his head round the corner to show him self.....just. "You failed again didn't you" the female said taking a sip of her tea allowing a silence..."BAKA!!!!!!!!!" the female threw the tea and the cup towards Noctis head hitting him right between the eyes.
Landing on the floor almost knocked out from the sheer power and brute force of the throw Noctis recovered how ever tears ran down his face"Mizumi that reli hurts you know" rubbing his eyes to try and rid the tears how ever it was usless. Mizumi got up from kneeling postion to approche her brother embracing him into an open hug "Theres always next time and we just got to make you'r training harder" Mizumi final breaks from the hug to give a reasuring smile "Now clean up this mess" standing up to leave Noctis to clean.
sry i went on to much and is it okay to add a different person?
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 03, 2009 2:19 pm
zile woke up after hitting his head on a stump "oww what the freak...." he rubbed his head and stood up slowly looking around in a haze "Where the hell is that teacher?" he flashed back to before he knocked himself out.
he was sitting in a tree waiting for that man with his trap ready. he waited and waited all night in that tree perched on the tip of his toes. finaly his will gave out and he fell asleep draping over the limb ,he slid and fell off to the ground yelling on his way down and smacking his head on several branches landing on a rock knocking him out.
Just the thought of the flash back hut his head even more he looked back to the rock he had landed on seeing his blood, freshly crimson all over the impact spot he rubbed his hand over his head massaging the cut that was already mostly healed. " oww" he pulled his hand back and desided to head inside the village afterall he wanted to check and make sure he didnt get a concusion.
As he checked out of the infermairy with a bandaged wrapped around his head like a bandana hair sticking out in small spots he headed to his room in his house to get some sleep leaving the door open.
((edited so its easyer to read))
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jan 04, 2009 8:35 am
Here it goes.....
(the names Yatta Hirosachi)
Yatta walked up to the grass. It irritated his feet as he slowly walked through it. He hoped that he could find the kunai that he saw someone throw earlier.
The slight breeze cooled him down as he was searching. He knew it was time for him to move on from his childhood of books and become a man, a shinobi, the future of the world.
He saw something shiny in the distance. He ran with all his might to get it before someone else could even see it. He got there and found the kunai and picked it up. It was a little dirty, so he wiped it off and held it up.
"YATTA!" he said. He walked off with a spring in his step, hoping that he soon could be a shinobi.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jan 04, 2009 1:44 pm
Noctis Lucis Caelum13 erm err im just gonna try lol for i seen every one elses so mine mostlickly be quiet pathetic compair to thiers sweatdrop here goes RP Example: As Noctis leaves the acadamey in shame from another fail in passing he heads off home with his head bowed low nudging people as he walks by. "Another fail....at this rate I shall never pass" Noctis suddenly stops and looks up "Someday I will become a fully pledge ninja with my own head band and make sis proud" He goes back to the bowing of the headand proced on walking. An hour has gone since he left the acadamey final reaching his home. Slipping off his shoes. Sliding the door open, walking in trying to avoid his sister. "How did it go?" the voice sounded younge soft and fenimen, This point Noctis knew he has been caught. "Hey sis" he said nerviously poppin his head round the corner to show him self.....just. "You failed again didn't you" the female said taking a sip of her tea allowing a silence ..."BAKA!!!!!!!!!" the female threw the tea and the cup towards Noctis head hitting him right between the eyes. Landing on the floor almost knocked out from the sheer power and brute force of the throw Noctis recovered how ever tears ran down his face"Mizumi that reli hurts you know" rubbing his eyes to try and rid the tears how ever it was usless. Mizumi got up from kneeling postion to approche her brother embracing him into an open hug "Theres always next time and we just got to make you'r training harder" Mizumi final breaks from the hug to give a reasuring smile "Now clean up this mess" standing up to leave Noctis to clean. sry i went on to much and is it okay to add a different person? Yes it is fine! I'm glad you used a different colour too (since that's how we differentiate when rping two characters in the same place). from another fail in passing Kind of awkward... Try: from once again failing the Genin Exams. Put a comma separating this phrase from the next part, as it’s not the main idea of the sentence. Second paragraph, watch the punctuation. And you mean full-fledged ninja right? xD Slipping off his shoes. No need to chop this from the rest of the sentence: Removing his shoes and sliding the door open, he slipped in, trying to avoid his sister.
The voice sounded young, soft, and feminine; at this point, Noctis knew he had been caught.
"Hey sis." He said nervously, popping his head round the corner. "You failed again, didn't you." The young woman said, taking a sip of her tea, allowing silence to ensue."BAKA!!!!!!!!!" Without warning, she threw the teacup towards Noctis' head, hitting him right between the eyes.
He landed on the floor, almost knocked out from the sheer power and brute force of the throw. Noctis recovered however and tears ran down his face. "Mizumi, that really hurts you know..." He rubbed his eyes, trying to rid the tears, however, it was usless. Mizumi got up from kneeling position to approach her brother and embraced him. "There’s always next time and we just got to make sure you're training harder." She lets go of him and gave a reassuring smile. "Now, clean up this mess." And she stood up and left, leaving Noctis to clean.Spelling errors, punctuation mistakes, some grammatical errors, awkward phrasing here and there; otherwise, good length and pretty engaging (what a scary sister....). Mainly, watch structure when you’re rping as that can greatly affect quality. Fair pass.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jan 04, 2009 2:00 pm
Zile eros Zile woke up after hitting his head on a stump . " Oww...what the freak..." He rubbed his head and stood up slowly looking around in a daze (I'm pretty sure you mean daze...haze would be for a fog...). " Where the hell is that teacher?" He flashed back to before he knocked himself out. He was sitting in a tree waiting for that man with his trap ready. He waited and waited all night in that tree perched on the tip of his toes. Finally, his will gave out and he fell asleep , draping over the limb, slid and fell off to the ground yelling on his way down , smacking his head on several branches and landed on a rock, knocking him out. Just the thought of the flash back hu rt s (subject-verb agreement) his head even more . He looked back to the rock he had landed on , seeing his blood, freshly crimson all over the impact spot . He rubbed his hand over his head massaging the cut that was already mostly healed. " Oww..." He pulled his hand back and decided to head inside the village . Afterall, he wanted to check and make sure he didn 't get a concu ssion. As he checked out of the infirmary with bandages wrapped around his head like a bandanna, with his hair sticking out in a few spots, he headed to his house to get some sleep leaving the door to his room open. ((edited so its easyer to read)) Watch capitalization and punctuation. Do not italicize main words, only thoughts should be italicized (or sound effects and stuff like that). Bolding words that are said is fine, though not required. Some members just prefer it that way. And well...it isn't necessary to leave so much spacing... Watch where you chop off your paragraphs, as that affects overall structure and quality. xO In actual training, the literal quality also might affect how much more bonus exp you'll get, so do your best. ^0^
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jan 04, 2009 2:01 pm
Teh-Magik-Kactus Here it goes..... (the names Yatta Hirosachi) Yatta walked up to the grass. It irritated his feet as he slowly walked through it. He hoped that he could find the kunai that he saw someone throw earlier. The slight breeze cooled him down as he was searching. He knew it was time for him to move on from his childhood of books and become a man, a shinobi, the future of the world. He saw something shiny in the distance. He ran with all his might to get it before someone else could even see it. He got there and found the kunai and picked it up. It was a little dirty, so he wiped it off and held it up. "YATTA!" He said. He walked off with a spring in his step, hoping that he soon could be a shinobi. Excellent pass. Fair length and engaging. blaugh
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jan 07, 2009 4:47 pm
just a random rp
Chun-yu walked through the streets of Konoha, heads down and hair covering her eyes. She ignored the many people who were walking around, happy and naive to the world. They only know that they were protected by the shinobi of the village. They can live their life as normally as they want. But who protects the shinobi? Who protect the ones who were the protectors? Chun-yu continued walking, sulking, as she walked into the village cemetery. She walked pass the recent graves and onto the ones that were already there for years. She looked at the gravestone of one grave for a long time. Her face was constricted, in pain. She looked like she was in the middle of making a decision. She finally decided and bowed to the stone.
"Hello Mother. It has been a while since I have visit. I have came to tell you, I have graduated the shinobi academy. I will follow Father's steps. I have already decided and I will not back down. I only came here to tell you this so I can stop feeling like I owed you anything. I owe you nothing. Good-bye Mother. May you rest in peace." Chun-yu bowed once more, in total respect towards the grave and walked off, not looking back. She walked pass more graves until she was nearly on the opposite side of the cemetery. Here she kneed in front of one grave.
"Father. Daddy, I did it. I became a kunochi. I made it when Mother said I couldn't. I finally made it. You would be proud Daddy. I was made top kunochi and said to have the most potential in the entire class." Chun-yu's eyes started to tear up. She lowered her head onto the gravestone. "Your sacrifice for me to live would not be in vain. I would become ANBU captain, just like you Daddy. I would become the best. I would kill the damn b*****d who killed you Daddy. Even if I have to fight every single one of them." Her voice started to crack, her eyes over flooded with tears. Her small frame started to shake, but Chun-yu bit her lip, fighting against the tears, the trembles, and the cracking. "I miss you Daddy. I really miss you. I won't forget about you. No matter what happen. I will never forget about you. I love you, Daddy." Chun-yu said, nearly only mouthing the words.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 6:06 pm
butterflyxslaver269 just a random rp
Chun-yu walked through the streets of Konoha, heads down and hair covering her eyes. She ignored the many people who were walking around, happy and naive to the world. They only know that they were protected by the shinobi of the village. They can live their life as normally as they want. But who protects the shinobi? Who protect the ones who were the protectors? Chun-yu continued walking, sulking, as she walked into the village cemetery. She walked pass the recent graves and onto the ones that were already there for years. She looked at the gravestone of one grave for a long time. Her face was constricted, in pain. She looked like she was in the middle of making a decision. She finally decided and bowed to the stone.
"Hello Mother. It has been a while since I have visit. I have came to tell you, I have graduated the shinobi academy. I will follow Father's steps. I have already decided and I will not back down. I only came here to tell you this so I can stop feeling like I owed you anything. I owe you nothing. Good-bye Mother. May you rest in peace." Chun-yu bowed once more, in total respect towards the grave and walked off, not looking back. She walked pass more graves until she was nearly on the opposite side of the cemetery. Here she kneed in front of one grave.
"Father. Daddy, I did it. I became a kunochi. I made it when Mother said I couldn't. I finally made it. You would be proud Daddy. I was made top kunochi and said to have the most potential in the entire class." Chun-yu's eyes started to tear up. She lowered her head onto the gravestone. "Your sacrifice for me to live would not be in vain. I would become ANBU captain, just like you Daddy. I would become the best. I would kill the damn b*****d who killed you Daddy. Even if I have to fight every single one of them." Her voice started to crack, her eyes over flooded with tears. Her small frame started to shake, but Chun-yu bit her lip, fighting against the tears, the trembles, and the cracking. "I miss you Daddy. I really miss you. I won't forget about you. No matter what happen. I will never forget about you. I love you, Daddy." Chun-yu said, nearly only mouthing the words. If this doesn't deserve a pass, I won't know what would. Excellently done. Good length, looks nice with good spelling and grammar, and absolutely beautifully incorporated with emotion.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 6:13 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2009 2:25 pm
I hope this one works, my brain is currently in its dead state.
Vwendolyn slowly woke up to the sound of her Mother yelling and a crash coming from the downstairs room. She sat up groggily and ran her right hand through her hair, starting at her forehead and moving it towards the back of her head. She then turned her body and slipped out of her bed with ease. After a few minutes of standing on her feet she walked heavily to her bedroom door and opened it slowly, causing it to make a squeaking noise. Once the door was open her Mother's voice was even louder.
Vwendolyn walked out of her room and down the stairs in her pajama bottoms and a t-shirt that was obviously to big for her, it engulfed her body. Once she stepped off of the bottom step and onto the floor she looked up and caught site of her Mother in front of her Grandfather and shaking something at him. Under her breath she said, "not again...." Her grandfather saw her and turned from his daughter and walked towards Vwendolyn. "How great to see that you are up!" the old man exclaimed with great happiness and cheer. Vwendolyn just groaned and walked towards the dinner table. "I'm starved, whats for breakfast Mum?"
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2009 6:13 pm
VainRose I hope this one works, my brain is currently in its dead state.
Vwendolyn slowly woke up to the sound of her Mother yelling and a crash coming from the downstairs room. She sat up groggily and ran her right hand through her hair, starting at her forehead and moving it towards the back of her head. She then turned her body and slipped out of her bed with ease. After a few minutes of standing on her feet she walked heavily to her bedroom door and opened it slowly, causing it to make a squeaking noise. Once the door was open her Mother's voice was even louder.
Vwendolyn walked out of her room and down the stairs in her pajama bottoms and a t-shirt that was obviously to big for her, it engulfed her body. Once she stepped off of the bottom step and onto the floor she looked up and caught site of her Mother in front of her Grandfather and shaking something at him. Under her breath she said, "not again...." Her grandfather saw her and turned from his daughter and walked towards Vwendolyn. "How great to see that you are up!" the old man exclaimed with great happiness and cheer. Vwendolyn just groaned and walked towards the dinner table. "I'm starved, whats for breakfast Mum?" Pass. Nicely done.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2009 6:42 pm
ProtoXtreme VainRose I hope this one works, my brain is currently in its dead state.
Vwendolyn slowly woke up to the sound of her Mother yelling and a crash coming from the downstairs room. She sat up groggily and ran her right hand through her hair, starting at her forehead and moving it towards the back of her head. She then turned her body and slipped out of her bed with ease. After a few minutes of standing on her feet she walked heavily to her bedroom door and opened it slowly, causing it to make a squeaking noise. Once the door was open her Mother's voice was even louder.
Vwendolyn walked out of her room and down the stairs in her pajama bottoms and a t-shirt that was obviously to big for her, it engulfed her body. Once she stepped off of the bottom step and onto the floor she looked up and caught site of her Mother in front of her Grandfather and shaking something at him. Under her breath she said, "not again...." Her grandfather saw her and turned from his daughter and walked towards Vwendolyn. "How great to see that you are up!" the old man exclaimed with great happiness and cheer. Vwendolyn just groaned and walked towards the dinner table. "I'm starved, whats for breakfast Mum?" Pass. Nicely done. Thank you
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 7:14 am
Yonbi stretched out his aching shoulders, he'd been helping some of the older, more-experienced (he grudgingly noted) ninjas who'd been lugging around logs and large sheets of who-knows-what material to help re-build some of the houses. Seriously, the raids that were going on were becoming more and more bothersome as each day passed. It didn't help that he'd have to lug his own sorry-butt off the smoothness of the grass and help, not that he wasn't proud of his village. He'd much rather lay down in the fields and watch the clouds slither across the sky and form dragons-sailing ships-anything his mind could create. Instead, he was brought out here to a task he didn't mind but thought was beneath him. He'd rather be training, or sleeping.
“Hey, what else dyou' need me to go fetch, Rota-san,” his words purred from his lips as he teasingly wicked at the lady who regarded him with a small scowl, he only chuckled softly and kneaded his shoulder gingerly. She told him to go pound sand, keep out of trouble and go see if he could find some spare rope lying around the warehouse out on the peak of the village.
Fair enough, Yonbi murmured softly as he took off at a brisk run down one of the tight alleyways where the buildings nearly kissed, nearly. Okay, not quite. His fingertips brushed across the softness of the wooden buildings. Splinters, he snatched his hand away before he took a deep, unwavering breath and jumped up onto one of the hanging wood-things that offered shade and protection from rain. Landing cat-like, Yonbi concentrated his chakra into the soles of his feet and carried on atop the buildings, jumping from roof to roof like an agile grasshopper. Those who were walking the streets only allowed him a scoffing glare and grimace, which he pleasantly ignored. People didn't like him because he was a smart-a**, inappropriate, rude and took nothing seriously. It wasn't his fault! It was theirs, he swore it! They'd taken him in this damned town, this stupid ruined town that was probably going to be raided the moment they were finished building.
They found Yonbi in a gypsy caravan that had been raided and flipped over, the crying little boy was all there was huddled in the confines of the over-turned pulley. They found him clutching the body of an older girl who'd been savagely stabbed in the gut, blood covered him and yet he hadn't noticed the people circling the caravan to peer inside. Oh god, when he thought of it, it made him want to clutch his heart and cry. They took him into the village, they tried to lie about what had happened to him, they gave him his own small dingy place to sleep in and offered the academy. He'd grown into a monster obsessed with strength and entertainment, sly of tongue and easy to get into trouble. Easier to attract trouble back to the village. He wanted attention, he wanted people to acknowledge him, yet he hated those stares that told him you-are-nothing-apart-of-this-village.
Yonbi shook the thoughts from his mind, scratching the back of his head and hopping off one of the buildings edges. He just needed some stupid rope.
"Hey you, baka! Get off the roof, Yon-kun!"
Yonbi tried to where his dear friend was standing, and wasn't concentrating on where he was jumping. Instead of gracefully landing on the next landing, he crashed into one of the signs and toppled down to the ground. All he saw next was black. Smooth. I'm an idiot, he thought.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 17, 2009 4:17 pm
Miso Yonbi Yonbi stretched out his aching shoulders, he'd been helping some of the older, more-experienced (he grudgingly noted) ninjas who'd been lugging around logs and large sheets of who-knows-what material to help re-build some of the houses. Seriously, the raids that were going on were becoming more and more bothersome as each day passed. It didn't help that he'd have to lug his own sorry-butt off the smoothness of the grass and help, not that he wasn't proud of his village. He'd much rather lay down in the fields and watch the clouds slither across the sky and form dragons-sailing ships-anything his mind could create. Instead, he was brought out here to a task he didn't mind but thought was beneath him. He'd rather be training, or sleeping.
“Hey, what else dyou' need me to go fetch, Rota-san,” his words purred from his lips as he teasingly wicked at the lady who regarded him with a small scowl, he only chuckled softly and kneaded his shoulder gingerly. She told him to go pound sand, keep out of trouble and go see if he could find some spare rope lying around the warehouse out on the peak of the village.
Fair enough, Yonbi murmured softly as he took off at a brisk run down one of the tight alleyways where the buildings nearly kissed, nearly. Okay, not quite. His fingertips brushed across the softness of the wooden buildings. Splinters, he snatched his hand away before he took a deep, unwavering breath and jumped up onto one of the hanging wood-things that offered shade and protection from rain. Landing cat-like, Yonbi concentrated his chakra into the soles of his feet and carried on atop the buildings, jumping from roof to roof like an agile grasshopper. Those who were walking the streets only allowed him a scoffing glare and grimace, which he pleasantly ignored. People didn't like him because he was a smart-a**, inappropriate, rude and took nothing seriously. It wasn't his fault! It was theirs, he swore it! They'd taken him in this damned town, this stupid ruined town that was probably going to be raided the moment they were finished building.
They found Yonbi in a gypsy caravan that had been raided and flipped over, the crying little boy was all there was huddled in the confines of the over-turned pulley. They found him clutching the body of an older girl who'd been savagely stabbed in the gut, blood covered him and yet he hadn't noticed the people circling the caravan to peer inside. Oh god, when he thought of it, it made him want to clutch his heart and cry. They took him into the village, they tried to lie about what had happened to him, they gave him his own small dingy place to sleep in and offered the academy. He'd grown into a monster obsessed with strength and entertainment, sly of tongue and easy to get into trouble. Easier to attract trouble back to the village. He wanted attention, he wanted people to acknowledge him, yet he hated those stares that told him you-are-nothing-apart-of-this-village.
Yonbi shook the thoughts from his mind, scratching the back of his head and hopping off one of the buildings edges. He just needed some stupid rope.
"Hey you, baka! Get off the roof, Yon-kun!"
Yonbi tried to where his dear friend was standing, and wasn't concentrating on where he was jumping. Instead of gracefully landing on the next landing, he crashed into one of the signs and toppled down to the ground. All he saw next was black. Smooth. I'm an idiot, he thought. Pass.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|