Welcome to Gaia! ::

1. Read this.
2. What's a packer?

So it's been a while since I've even looked int his guild, and I figured now was as good a time as any to update you all.

With how much ranting I did here in the past, I wanted to apologise. It was kind of stupid of me to bring mental issues not directly(or even indirectly) related to sexuality or gender stuff, which is what this guild is for. I made a big mess out of everything because I didn't know what I was, what I wanted, or how I wanted people to treat me because of that.

I also was one of those people who thinks they're handling stress pretty well, but just bottles it up all inside, anyway. Point being, sometime around the "genderqueer =/= transgender" debate, I read through a ton of articles in Wikipedia.

I spent hours upon hours reading it, and learning all about genderqueer, transgenders, gays, bis, asexuals, and some heterosexual stuff. I also learned indirectly that someone in Russia prevented World War 3 by ignoring equipment that told him the US were sending him the bomb(which was of course was a malfunction, but no one knew that at the time). The information was classified until 1998!

Anyway, back on topic. I was clicking all the related article links in Wikipedia, and I came across ANdrogyne.(which is what I linked in my previous post)
Since then, I've pretty much embraced that that's what I am.
About the time I finally came out and said "Hey guys, I'm really a girl"(which was actually pretty tough, lol) I started to fully embrace this androgyne thing.

I was so happy about it I started explaining it everywhere and telling everyone "Hey, I'm really a girl! I just like to pretend to be a guy, sometimes" which probably made a lot of people confused or think ill of me, but whatever.

I also searched "androgyne" on the internet and found this cool internet shop that sells t-shirts saying "What sex will I be today?"
Finally the stress of thinking whether I am like Nios or like Jovo is gone, and I'm happy and embracing it all.

Some days I want to act all girly, and I do it now without resentment because it's normal for me. And somedays I want to be a boy, so I will just not shave that day and pull on the guy, and people go with it.

A long, long time a go, when I first joined this guild, we were talking about the ideal person to have sex with(or just love, or something). I said "The top of a man on the bottom half of a woman." Astri yelled at me for saying I was so close to liking little girls- I remember it very vividly.

Because I could never really find the ideal body type I wanted to whack(Haha), I just figured that maybe I was asexual. But that wasn't true at all; I just wanted other androgynes.

So basically this is me saying sorry for before and letting you know I'm doing great, no more identity crises. And thank you for being there when you were, and for having this guild, and not making it boring.

If it were not for this guild being so free to talk about things like beer, sex, drugs, and the basis of sexual/gender identity I would have never got to where I was so sure and proud of myself today. Thank you so much.

Somehow being referenced that way makes me think I'm supposed to find that slightly offensive or something, but really it made me giggle.

Eh, my notion is just to wear baggy pants. Then no one can tell what's going on down there.

But I guess if you were ftm and got an erection, that would suck. X|

That's true but wearing them is uncomfortable. At least for me, anyway.

Wearing something that fits is uncomfortable. It's got to be baggy. XD

I think you're supposed to be able to pee standing up with some of the more complicated ones.

Just remember that it's all contributed by users, you have to take a lot of stuff with a grain of salt. Do you have an editor account?

You don't remember when they revealed that? People talked for days about how it was scary.

I read that article as well. While I don't agree fully with it (or with anything, ever, but anyway...) I think it was an interesting read. I can see where you're coming from as a transsexual, but not all transgender people feel that way. I am not trans only because it's a gender rebellion, but that is part of it, too. I am definitely rebelling against ideas that gender=sex or that sex determines gender 100% of the time. I am rebelling against the binary. Why are there only two options, and why are we forced into only one of those? Gender is so fluid for me but culture/society tries to tell me it shouldn't be that way. I am not a boy or a girl, I'm genderqueer, but most people have a hard time wrapping their minds on it, so yes, I want to use my gender as self expression sometimes to tell others that gender isn't as straightforward and binary as they might think it is. With that said, you don't have to be like those trans people who think of gender this way (obviously). Some trans people want to transition, some don't. Everyone's different. A lot of people are very comfortable with being a certain sex, whether that is their birth sex or not. A lot of people are very comfortable with having one set gender identity. But I myself don't want to be boxed into one sex or gender, I want the freedom to be myself in any way I see fit. That might mean getting top surgery but not bottom surgery to have some aspects of a traditionally male body and that may mean putting on make up when I wear a suit. Who knows? I think my point is lost somewhere in all this rambling, which isn't meant to be directed at you by any means, Nios. I'm just ranty and rambly a lot of the time. Anyway, I guess my point is that you may not identify with the individuals in the article, but their identities are as real and meaningful as yours. They may not be transsexual and want to change their bodies, but instead are trangender and want to express their trans-ness in other ways. Um, anyway, hi, I'm long winded and boring, sorry!

And to make this even longer, let's address some other things people have said in here - I personally wear a packer because I like the feeling that there's something down there. I don't want people to see my bulge, necessarily (though that might depend on the situation, I suppose), it's really only for personal comfort. I used to pack with a rolled up pair of socks, but it's nice to have something with a more realistic shape and feel.

And yes, there do exist some devices that are meant to be used for urination, they are actually called STPs (Standing To Pee devices). I haven't seen any personally that are meant to be worn as a packer, only things such as The Whiz, which I find quite... interesting.

As with any such article, the author is going to focus on only a limited view. But yeah, I guess you'll have to explain to your mother that the article wasn't about transsexuals like yourself, but other types of trans people.

As for the packer, it was weird to get used to the weight of it, as opposed to my former sock roll, and I think it would be pretty traumatic if it were to fall out, but other than that it's really nice. It seems a little weird to be talking about the niceness of a fake p***s between my legs but um... yeah, it is.