Welcome to Gaia! ::

Granted, but now, the real life equivalent of illiterate n00bs are begging you relentlessly for test and homework scores and whatever shirt you happen to be wearing. But, because it's real life, you can't ask to have them banned!

I wish I could find white paper that will fit in my printer.

Granted. You are now a sociopath, and therefore have no negative emotions during a breakup. Then again, there are no positive emotions during a relationship or everyday life. You soon discover that this nonemotional lifestyle of thinking with logic instead of emotions is boring and decide to pretend that the real world is a video game. You eat everything in sight and fly with a parasol and discover a way to breathe whatever the guy you ate's power is and call yourself Kirby. At your trial, the jury, consisting of people who saw the 1980's-90's SNES Kirby games and enjoyed them burst out laughing at each new piece of evidence. You are given a 20 year sentence without bail and the rest of the world has to suffer while dumb 'concerned parents' who were unaware of your psychological condition and think Kirby forced you to massacre Cleavland try to pass a bill that bans all video games, thus starting a downhill spiral of censorship that ultimately leads to Dubya becoming the modern day and less apt at public speaking version of Hitler, but with Stalin's secret police.

I wish I knew the substance in my drink that caused that kind of a thought process... and had access to it on a regular basis. xd

Granted. Immediatly upon touching the stapler, the ghost of an emo 14 year old who commited suicide posesses you and uses the stapler for self-mutilation and then exits your body, but forgets to take the wounds and the staples. Classmates find out about the incident, except for the part with the ghost, and while you are having surgery to remove the staples, they are gossiping until the story becomes that you were hammering nails into your wrists because you have a Messiah complex and took morphine because you couldn't buy less addictive anesthesia. You are comitted to a mental institution. Good luck escaping while wearing a straight-jacket.

I wish my family understood the concept of personal space.

Granted. It's now more productive, as in able to produce more gold. The increase of random events and gold per post and poll increase the adictive value of the site. You ultimately get less work done.

I wish the lotto forum was unblocked by my pathetic ISP so I can make a lottery for my animations...

Granted but now you're obsessed with 4chan and your parents kick you out of the house.

I wish I had butterfly wings so I could fly.

Granted. but you realize that (*&#^&^$%%$ means that you will have a new pop-up every second. Then you go insane.

I wish people would stop staining my eyes with *^@#$@#$@%^

Granted- in fact, your art is suddenly so amazing and inspirational that art critics drag you to the Musee D'Orsay in France and nail you to the wall as the Art Messiah.

Edit: I wish I'd remembered to make a wish.