|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2005 1:27 pm
Nios Yes I did. ^_^ My friend Greeny donated about 300k worth of items to me and then my friend K y a accepted a low offer. She would have sold it to me for cheaper but I wouldn't have that. Awesome. Congrats.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2005 1:28 pm
Thanks. I suppose I'll be heading out to work now.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 8:45 am
TuffGhost Nios What happens on October 2nd? Nothing now. Not a damn thing. *eyebrow* And this is/was an official decision? on your part or..? And I should remind you, spies and lurkers... Well, you usually aren't too patient with that nonsense, so perhaps you really did settle it already. I'm sorry. *hug* Must be annoying, awkward, and painful. If you have any problems stemming from it, you can always talk to me.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 10:04 am
I'm in a rotten mood. Again. For no reason.
Haha you know what's funny? The other day someone told me I was depressed. I found it funny and it made me laugh. Now I'm worried that they might be right.
:/
-runs away to go nap in a corner even though I'm not tired-
[EDIT]: Who gets addicted to solitaire? Honestly. Sad sad lonely people. That's who. -_-
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Sep 27, 2005 9:05 pm
Nios [EDIT]: Who gets addicted to solitaire? Honestly. Sad sad lonely people. That's who. -_- I did! In highschool! And mindsweeper!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Sep 27, 2005 9:06 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Sep 27, 2005 9:19 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 9:17 am
Vague TuffGhost Nios What happens on October 2nd? Nothing now. Not a damn thing. *eyebrow* And this is/was an official decision? on your part or..? And I should remind you, spies and lurkers... Well, you usually aren't too patient with that nonsense, so perhaps you really did settle it already. I'm sorry. *hug* Must be annoying, awkward, and painful. If you have any problems stemming from it, you can always talk to me. I don't know! gonk Now he likes me again and he's nice.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Sep 30, 2005 11:31 am
TuffGhost Vague TuffGhost Nios What happens on October 2nd? Nothing now. Not a damn thing. *eyebrow* And this is/was an official decision? on your part or..? And I should remind you, spies and lurkers... Well, you usually aren't too patient with that nonsense, so perhaps you really did settle it already. I'm sorry. *hug* Must be annoying, awkward, and painful. If you have any problems stemming from it, you can always talk to me. I don't know! gonk Now he likes me again and he's nice. Like a nature show and a soap opera rolled up together.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 2:11 am
Why? Can I not? SLEEP?!?!?!!!
gonk
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 7:19 am
Do you have a teddy Astri? I find they make sleeping easier.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 3:11 pm
Okay, so life has really sucked lately. A lot of it's internal, though some of it isn't just me being... me. Anyway, I'm on this gender issue kick where I can think of almost nothing else. I am confused and hating my body and wanting to just be understood, but also wanting to understand myself (which would have to come first, now wouldn't it?), so yeah. I started going to a trans support group last week. It's the 2nd and 4th Monday of the month. It was good listening to people, but I felt like I couldn't talk. Mostly my being shy, but also my not wanting to explain myself. Of course, that just meant that everyone there probably assumed I'm a pre-op FTM, which isn't the case. They assumed I'm a guy and I'm not just that, but at least it's better than assuming I'm a girl (at least right now). I want to be seen as a guy really really badly, but with people who are also trans and more able to accept that I'm a guy it'd be really nice for them to see that I'm not just a guy, but something else entirely. I feel like the world at large forces me into the woman/girl/female box and that night at the support group I was forcing myself into the man/boy/male box. I can't win, it seems. I will have to talk at the next meeting and let everyone know a bit more about me and explain that I'm genderqueer and hopefully they'll get it.
But yeah, with the gender thing wanting to be more on the masculine side I've been having some body issues. (Nothing new there, of course.) I want THESE THINGS to go away so I can have a nice male chest. But the thought that I might some day switch back and want to be more feminine again makes me worry about ever doing anything as permanent as top surgery. So anyway, I ordered myself a binder from underworks (because Ace bandages are so bad for you and I thought I should have a better alternative since I'm binding every day now). Also bought myself a proper packer, so yeah... that's good. They should both be arriving in the mail some time this week. The sooner the better, I say.
Anyway, I think that's enough ranting for the moment, I can't focus on the negative ALL the time!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 11:24 pm
*hugs rej* If it makes you feel any better, I've heard exactly the same rant (or very close to it) from several of my friends. So you really are not alone. There are people in the world who can and will understand you. I'm sorry it's so hard (those boxes are killer). As far as figuring yourself out, give yourself time, k? From what I've heard, it can take some time to figure out -- that's "normal" and perfectly okay. But, again, I'm sorry it's so frustrating.
As for me, I accept you for just being you, whatever your gender identity may be. That seems like such a token statement, but I don't mean it to be. Remember we're always here to support you when you need us. Oh, and congrats on the binder and packer purchases! (I'm glad to hear you'll no longer be using the ace bandages) I hope they come soon for ya.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 03, 2005 6:19 pm
Thanks Astri. I'm hoping they'll get here soon, too. I'm watching the mail... I know my chest will thank me.
EDIT: (10/04/05) One down, one to go. Got my packer today. Hopefully binder will come tomorrow, since I paid for that speedy shipping and all...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Oct 06, 2005 1:05 pm
[Taken from my LJ]
So I guess I pass better than I thought I did. I went to visit my father today after class. I was waiting outside of the ferry terminal. I saw him coming towards me. I waved. He looked at me. Then he kept walking. He didn't recognize me at all. It hasn't been that long since I last saw him but I hadn't started transititoning till after he left for Turkmentistan.
-snips emo angst about father-
While I was at Tim Horton's there was a person sitting down at a table. They were either a crossdresser or a MTF. They saw right through me though. They gave me a pleasant smile. They kept glancing at me while I was talking to my father. I know it should have made me feel uncomfortable but surprisingly it didn't at all.
-snips redundant stuff-
When I came home I found a newspaper article sitting on my chair. It's titled "A choice of boi or grrl." The article talked about the increase of transsexual and transgendered youth. It's quite obvious that my mother left it for me as no one else in my house knows about me. I'm happy that she's taking me seriously and taking the time to think about what it means for me to be a transsexual. I didn't quite like the article though. It seemed to have a view that acts of transgenderism in youth is often a form of rebellion or purely for self expression rather than the health problem it is.
I don't know much about people participating in trans acts for self expression but I know that for me it's simply being myself. I am trans and I'm not on and off about it. I don't wake up feeling like a girl some days and a boy others. I'm all boy. I want to medically transition. Funny that she should give me this article the night I want to sneak out to that meeting. I may just tell her straight out that that's where I'm going. I had considered lying and telling her I was going to the art opening at Saint Mary's university. It wouldn't be a complete lie of course, as I don't lie. I'm interested in going to that as well.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
