|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Tue May 03, 2011 2:02 pm
@Mayvine: Sorry about that, guess I didn't take a careful enough look at the techniques but from your rp sample you tend to just 'mention' the technique instead of really descriping it. If possible, I would like to see you describe the techniques more before I approve you. Keep trying you're almost there. So for now, Denied!
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue May 03, 2011 4:19 pm
I re-wrote that parts where clan jutsu were used, so hopefully it's acceptable.
Rpc Name: Karasu Akimichi
Village: Kumogakure
Rank: Gennin
Bloodline or Clan applied for: Akimichi
What you know about the clan/bl: They can expand their body's size throw various jutsu that also burn up calories as well as chakra, and have a set of 3 secret pills that are like instant super steroids, which convert any free calories in the body as well as excess fat to produce huge spikes in power. The pills aren't without consciousnesses, using them results in grave personal injury or with the last on, death.
Rp Sample:
Karasu stretched as he entered from his side of the testing area. Chuunin exams are such a drag He thought as he waited for his opponent to enter. He started stretching as his opponent entered, a boy who held a massive sword that rested on his shoulder. He probably uses that Zanbatō style. Karasu thought as he made an attempt to gauge his opponent's abilities. "Right, Let's do this!" The boy called out to Karasu, as he brandished his massive weapon, and started to move slowly towards him.
"Jeez, this is gonna be such a pain." Karasu said as he raised his arms and slid his starting foot forward. Within an instant, Karasu rushed forward, nearly catching the other boy by surprise with a sudden straight aimed at his solar plexus, which was just narrowly avoided. Sword-boy tried to swat away Karasu with the flat of his sword, but Karasu was to fast and vaulted over the sword at the same time he kicked Sword-boy in the head. Sword-boy was sent reeling by Karasu's kick, and then was sent flying by Karasu, who'd utilized Partial Multi-Size to super increase the size of his arm.
Using the still enlarged arm, Karasu pushed himself flying forward and landed with a stomp on top of Sword-boy. Blood spurted out of the boy's mouth after impact, which caught Karasu by surprise, he'd forgotten he could hit so hard and backed off. Even if it was the chuunin exams, he didn't want to kill anyone. Sword-boy managed to right himself as Karasu's arm returned to normal. Karasu began to regret his decision because the after affects of using Partial Multi-Size seemed to sort of temporarily disconnect him from his chakra reserves. After a few hand seals, Sword-Boy seemed to move forward with no effort as he prepared to swing, which lead Karasu to guess he was of Doton affinity. The attack's aim was true and heavy blade crashed into Karasu's arm, cutting in and breaking bone.
With the pain being nearly unbearable, Karasu needed to somehow end the fight fast. He dodged another attack from Sword-Boy and tried to kick the weapon out of the boy's grasp. There was a sickening crunching sound as Karasu's foot connected at an odd angle with Sword-Boy's main hand, some of his fingers had been broken from the impact. Using the opening he'd just created, Karasu performed the Multi-Size technique, doubling his size, as well as his raw power and proceeded to back-hand Sword-Boy which sent him flying again. Then to end with a bang, Karasu jumped up over Sword-Boy and went into Human Bullet Tank mode; his body swelling to a similar appearance of a giant sphere and came crashing down onto Sword-Boy. He'd tried to block the giant spiraling ball of flesh with his sword but it broke in half and he took the softened blow directly. The fight ended with that assault, and soon the medics came for them both, leaving Karasu wondering if he'd have to continue participating.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue May 03, 2011 5:10 pm
@Mayvine: Yep, that was what I needed to see. I also understand that there's only so much you could include in the description but try to put in as much detail as possible. Anyhow, Approved! Have fun!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu May 12, 2011 2:10 pm
Edited for Hatake
Rpc Name: Shiro Kanemato
Village: Kumogakure
Rank: Genin
Bloodline or Clan applied for: Hatake
What you know about the clan/bl: They can fuse white chakra into their blade handed down to them, they have the benefits of speed class.
Rp Sample: Shiro was getting attacked from all sides by only one shinobi in the dark cave, blow after blow the young Hatake could feel his strength being sapped from his body. Falling to one knee on the ground, blood began to trickle out from his mouth which made it even harder to breath the air his body so desperately needed right now. The sound of a knife being slowly drawn from its' holster echoed through out the cave, Shiro's heart began to beat heavily with even the mere thought of death. "You ain't gona survive this one ya little brat!" the assailant said. The young Hatake let out a roar of pent up anger and fustration as if to defy what the man had said to him only without words.
Remembering his father's tanto, Shiro grabbed it from its' holster and held it infront of him while pumping chakra into the blade. The cave lit up as a white light emited from the blade which momentarily stunned his opponent, allowing the Hatake clansman time to rush towards the other shinobi. In a flash the enemy who had tried to block the attack looked down to his knife which had shattered and now rested on the ground, he looked to his left side to notice that his arm was missing. He fainted from the loss of blood and Shiro cut the flow of chakra to the blade, "This can cut through anything. Your loss today shinobi." After saying that the young Hatake vanished from the cave leaving the corpse to rot
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu May 12, 2011 2:16 pm
The sharingan is a closed bloodline, it is not available. Other closed bloodlines are the Hyuuga, Konaga, Naga, and any bloodline marked as closed.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun May 15, 2011 9:16 pm
Kierghiez Edited for HatakeRpc Name: Shiro Kanemato Village: Kumogakure Rank: Genin Bloodline or Clan applied for: Hatake What you know about the clan/bl: They can fuse white chakra into their blade handed down to them, they have the benefits of speed class. Rp Sample: Shiro was getting attacked from all sides by only one shinobi in the dark cave, blow after blow the young Hatake could feel his strength being sapped from his body. Falling to one knee on the ground, blood began to trickle out from his mouth which made it even harder to breath the air his body so desperately needed right now. The sound of a knife being slowly drawn from its' holster echoed through out the cave, Shiro's heart began to beat heavily with even the mere thought of death. "You ain't gona survive this one ya little brat!" the assailant said. The young Hatake let out a roar of pent up anger and fustration as if to defy what the man had said to him only without words. Remembering his father's tanto, Shiro grabbed it from its' holster and held it infront of him while pumping chakra into the blade. The cave lit up as a white light emited from the blade which momentarily stunned his opponent, allowing the Hatake clansman time to rush towards the other shinobi. In a flash the enemy who had tried to block the attack looked down to his knife which had shattered and now rested on the ground, he looked to his left side to notice that his arm was missing. He fainted from the loss of blood and Shiro cut the flow of chakra to the blade, "This can cut through anything. Your loss today shinobi." After saying that the young Hatake vanished from the cave leaving the corpse to rot
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 16, 2011 10:12 am
@Kierghiez: Good effort for a first try. I need to see more in the information section. Feel free in add in some of the rules as well. The tento, though powerful can not cut though anything so best you don't have that written down in your rp sample. If possible I would also like to see you incorporate some of the speed benefits and the other Hatake ability in your sample. Not a bad first try, I'm sure it'll be better the second time around. So for now, Denied!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue May 17, 2011 7:41 pm
Rpc Name: Rei Suigin
Village: Iwa
Rank: Genin
Bloodline or Clan applied for: Suigin
What you know about the clan/bl: The clan is based on maniputlation of Mercury to creat weapons and beast to aid them in battle. The clan can use either a natural source of mercury, the mercury in their mercury tattoos, or generate it from within. Pure mercury is fairly weak but it can be combined with other metals to increase strength. dependent on mercury being near by
Rp Sample:
Rei had just exited Iwa to complete her latest mission. Her mission was to make absolute sure her target would never be a problem for the villages security again. According to the information she was given her target had been moving toward the border. Rei went over what little information she was given. I'm going in nearly blind I guess the one upside is that I don't need to leave him alive she thought as she continued toward her target. Rei stops just short of the targets last known location she removes her cloak revealing her large silver tribal tattooing that ran over her whole body. She Weaved a few short hand signs and gritted her teeth her tattoos began to raise it wasn't painful so much as it felt strange. Slowly the mercury from her tattoos flexed into the shape of a small lizard that sprung forward to scout the area. Rei kept close behind the lizard if the lizard found something it would either jump from the tree to smash itself or try to lift a rock which would also crush it. Rei kept track of it by feeling the mercury it was made of if the mercury suddenly splattered she would know it found something.
Suddenly the lizard stop moving and crawled under a rock as it attempted to lift it the rock barely budged before it fell back down and smashed the little lizard. A smile crept across Rei's face her target was in range it was time for stage two. Rei moved quickly in a large circle uncoiling a thick rope made of threads of mercury it was needed for stage three. If they gave me more information I wouldn't need to take this level of precaution she thought stopping about six feet short of the path her target was moving on. Suddenly from down the road she heard foot steps judging by the pace the man had no knowledge he was located though it didn't make a difference any longer within the rope her targets life might as well have ended already. Rei stands on a high branch above the path way as her target comes into range she finally gets a look at her target. Her target was a muscular man with no signs of weaponry he bore a headband from Iwa with a thick deep gash running through it. A taijutsu user I can't let him make contact with my constructs the mercury won't be able to take the attack she thought as she weaved another set of handsigns and cringed once again as the tattoo reaching into a pouch on her hip mixing the mercury that rose from her hand with the magnesium powder in the bag. She pulls her hand from the bag grasping a silver ball about the size of a baseball. Her target was about ten feet away now she quickly slings the ball at the target sending a burst of chakra into it.
The ball explodes into a rain of needles down onto the target the target alerted by the blast leaps to the side to try to dodge the needles. He nearly dodges them all but gets hit in his right arm three times it wouldn't stop him from using it but it might slow his attacks from that side. Once the needles stopped falling her target started searching for his attacker. Rei weaves some more handsigns causing some more tattoos from her arm to form a disk of mercury she waits for her target to be looking in her direction she then tilts the disk into the light of the sun directing the bright beam into her targets eyes. Her target let out a yell as the light blinded him and leaped blindly for Rei's position but Rei had taken his momentary blindness to move to a new post. Upon regaining his sight he smashed the tree Rei had been hiding in causing it to fall and the mercury rope Rei had left at it's base exposed to the light above which caused it to glint and shimmer. Her target quickly jumped back from the rope expecting more needles but Rei had planned something better. She had begun weaving hand signs when her target had begun to charge at her previous position. Suddenly the rope sprouted a large silver tentacle that leapt forward and wrapped itself around his leg. The tentacle slings him into the air and releases him skyward. Rei begins weaving more handsigns suddenly the rope begins to sprout small flowers that open and start spinning.
Rei suddenly drops from her hiding spot and grabbed hold of the end of the rope which now had spinning flowers along it for a good distance. Rei jerks the rope causing the flowers to cut a short length free. Rei then seamlessly swings the rope with the spinning flowers at her target. Her target twist his body in the air and punches the rope with his left hand the petals cut deep into his hand and arm but the rope was smashed by the force of impact from the punch. Crap I really was hoping to end this without this jutsu but it appears it cannot be helped Rei thought as she began weaving hand signs once more her target lands a few feet away and starts charging in her direction. Rei jumps back as she completes the handsigns and places her hands on the remaining rope. "Suigin Yajuu Mercury Beast Jutsu" Rei yelled as the ropes retracted into itself forming a large mass that appeared to be a hybrid of a lizard and a fox. The beast leaps forward snapping it's jaws down hard onto the target. The target lets out a horrid yell as he was bitten by the creatures. Rei drops in behind her target her mercury blade glinting in the sun as she plunged it through her targets spine at an upward angle the blade exited the target neck and his muscular body went limp. Rei dismissed her varies jutsu breathing deeply from expending so much chakra.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri May 20, 2011 10:10 pm
@Oxy: First off, sry for the really late response, I've been busy. Anyhow, Denied! The rp sample was really solid but try to keep an eye out for grammer as well. Also, I need to see some weakness incorporated into the sample and since you're doing your rp sample as a jounin ranking shinobi, some more techniques would also be nice. Also the knowledge section should have a bit more info. You stated the general stuff but what about weakness and what kinda bonuses do members of this recieve. Stuff like that. A really good first try, you're just missing some small stuff. Take your time to edit and I'm sure you're next attempt will be better. Good luck. smile
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri May 20, 2011 10:29 pm
uhm lilly the main weaknesses for the bloodline are how fragile the jutsus creations are and how dependent the clan is on a source of mercury being near by which is why in the RP sample I meantioned taking a lot of preparation for attacking the target and I not only mentioned but also had my creations get broken multiple times
I underlined the examples of the weaknesses in the RP sample to make them stand out more.
Also the clan only has a hand full of jutsu and I used a lot of them in the RP sample the only ones i might have missed that i can think of is the second explosive and the vines
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri May 20, 2011 10:35 pm
@Oxy: I saw that and yes that's a big weakness but what about the others mentioned in the weakness section of the bloodline? Like mercury being inferior to other elements and it being suseptable to raiton? Sry if I seem a bit picky but I really want to see as much of the bloodline incorporated in samples a possible. Mentioning more strengths wouldn't hurt either like how doton is one rank higher or how you can extend the range of raiton techs (not sure which is your primary element choice). Overall, like I said, a solid first try. Just requires a little twicking and it'll be fine.
--edited--
Alright. That's fair, the jutsu amount is good.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri May 20, 2011 11:02 pm
The amount is fine and most of the RP sample is as well. I agree with Lily in what she says about the rest of the weaknesses, as you don't get to pick and choose which ones you actually have to abide by. Throw some more of them in, and it should be good!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 23, 2011 7:52 am
White Water Lilly @Oxy: I saw that and yes that's a big weakness but what about the others mentioned in the weakness section of the bloodline? Like mercury being inferior to other elements and it being suseptable to raiton? Sry if I seem a bit picky but I really want to see as much of the bloodline incorporated in samples a possible. Mentioning more strengths wouldn't hurt either like how doton is one rank higher or how you can extend the range of raiton techs (not sure which is your primary element choice). Overall, like I said, a solid first try. Just requires a little twicking and it'll be fine.
--edited--
Alright. That's fair, the jutsu amount is good. Mercury is inferior because it is a weak metal and pretty rare both aspects I accounted for in my RP sample. The raiton thingI didn't add in because I made it a taijutsu user that I was targeting taijutsu users normally avoid using ninjutsu.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 23, 2011 10:20 am
X_Oxy_X White Water Lilly @Oxy: I saw that and yes that's a big weakness but what about the others mentioned in the weakness section of the bloodline? Like mercury being inferior to other elements and it being suseptable to raiton? Sry if I seem a bit picky but I really want to see as much of the bloodline incorporated in samples a possible. Mentioning more strengths wouldn't hurt either like how doton is one rank higher or how you can extend the range of raiton techs (not sure which is your primary element choice). Overall, like I said, a solid first try. Just requires a little twicking and it'll be fine.
--edited--
Alright. That's fair, the jutsu amount is good. Mercury is inferior because it is a weak metal and pretty rare both aspects I accounted for in my RP sample. The raiton thingI didn't add in because I made it a taijutsu user that I was targeting taijutsu users normally avoid using ninjutsu.
@Oxy: Alright, since you've explained youself clearer I'll accept it. Also you might want to keep an eye out for your grammer. The wording in some parts of your rp sample were a bit confusing and hard to read. But anyhow, APPROVED!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 23, 2011 10:53 am
White Water Lilly X_Oxy_X White Water Lilly @Oxy: I saw that and yes that's a big weakness but what about the others mentioned in the weakness section of the bloodline? Like mercury being inferior to other elements and it being suseptable to raiton? Sry if I seem a bit picky but I really want to see as much of the bloodline incorporated in samples a possible. Mentioning more strengths wouldn't hurt either like how doton is one rank higher or how you can extend the range of raiton techs (not sure which is your primary element choice). Overall, like I said, a solid first try. Just requires a little twicking and it'll be fine.
--edited--
Alright. That's fair, the jutsu amount is good. Mercury is inferior because it is a weak metal and pretty rare both aspects I accounted for in my RP sample. The raiton thingI didn't add in because I made it a taijutsu user that I was targeting taijutsu users normally avoid using ninjutsu. Yeah I mess up my grammar a lot I try my best but english is my second language and I havn't fully gotten the hang of it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
