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 Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 10:33 am
Roque: Think you're thinking clear on this? Huh? 'Cuz every time we mess up, it's because of a woman.
Clay: Name one time that I...
Roque: Amber.
Clay: Amber wasn't the problem, Amber's husband was the problem.
Pooch: Amber's husband wasn't the one who shot you.
Clay: It was only in the leg.
Jensen: What about Emma?
Clay: Emma doesn't count. I didn't sleep with Emma.
Roque: No, because she put a bomb in your car!
Clay: All right, I admit - that did take a little of the romance out of it
Clay: I'm clear, Roque.
Roque: Well, you better be, because I ain't getting killed by no girl.
Aisha: [coming up behind them] Been a long time since anyone called me a girl.
[to Clay]
Aisha: She put a *bomb* in your car?
Clay: She was volatile.
Pooch: Okay. You know that if we do this, we are waging a war against the Central Intelligence Agency.
Cougar: They started it.
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Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 10:36 am
Max: It's like giving a handgun to a six-year-old, Wade - you don't know how it's gonna end, but you're pretty sure it's gonna make the papers.
Jensen: [trying to hit on Aisha] Hi.
[Aisha, cleaning her gun, ignores him]
Jensen: Where are you from? Originally?
Aisha: The wilds of Northern Africa.
Jensen: Wow. So that must have been... sandy...
[awkward pause]
Jensen: Do you have any hobbies?
Aisha: When I was little, I collected human ears.
Roque: Okay, you stay with us. But if anything smells like a trap, I get to put a bullet in your skull. Does that sound fair?
Aisha: That sounds fun.
Jensen: Sounds like my parents...
Pooch: Few things in life the liberal application of duct tape can't solve.
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Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 10:37 am
Max: Okay, so five dead men hijacked you, Wade. Did you happen to find out who's behind them?
Wade: Not the CIA, NSA, Special Ops...
Max: Yeah, I'm aware it's not us
Pooch: All right, look. We're not going anywhere until you two squash this bullshit.
Clay: Pooch, we're on a schedule here. Let's go.
Pooch: [imitating Clay] Oh, "we're on a schedule?"
[Yanks the keys out the ignition, looks pointedly at Clay and Roque]
Clay: [sighs] Roque... I'm sorry I hit you in the face.
Pooch: [laughing] Oh. That was good. That was good. Roque? ROQUE?
Roque: Clay... I'm sorry I threatened to cut your head off.
Pooch: VERY good! Wow. Don't you two feel so much better?
Clay, Roque: [in unison] NO.
Pooch: I don't give a s**t. I say we go watch Jensen get himself killed, yeah?
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Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 10:39 am
Vikram: Do you have the money?
Max: Jesus! Always with the money. "Hi, how are ya? How've you been? Namaste?
Vikram: I recently attended the funeral of my best friend, who you had thrown off a roof. How have *you* been?
Max: I can't complain. Actually, I'm thinking about getting a satellite radio for my car.
[looks at Vikram's fellow scientist]
Max: God, you ARE short. Seriously, how much do you weigh? Are you standing in a hole?
Vikram: We have your ordinances.
Max: All righty. Let's make a cash withdrawal, and
[in bad Hindu accent]
Max: *Who wants to be a billionaire?*
Jensen: Can you stand?
Pooch: I've been shot in *both* of my legs. What kind of dumb-a** question is that, really?
Jensen: So now we're Mister Grumpy-pants? You know, you're not the only one who got shot today.
Clay: Pooch, can you stand?
Pooch: Oh. Oh, this is Stupid Question Day. This is Stupid Question Day, and nobody decided to tell me! Naw, that's cool. It's all good.
Jensen: Come on, Legless Pooch, I got ya.
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Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 10:41 am
Jensen: [Aisha has the Losers in a Mexican standoff] Ohhhh... s**t. She's got a gun and... it's pointed at my d*ck. Clay, it's pointed at my d*ck!
Pooch: Would you rather it was pointed at your face?
Jensen: I know it makes no sense, but yes!
[Aisha points her gun at Jensen's face]
Pooch: Better?
Jensen: Not really...
Clay: Where's your gun, Jensen?
Jensen: It's in the van.
Clay: What's it doing there?
Jensen: Not... much.
[Aisha rolls her eyes]
Roque: Will you two shut up?
Jensen: Well, what if it was pointed at YOUR d*ck?
[Aisha shoots Jensen in the arm]
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Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 11:21 am
... stare
Ucchan... Puppet's talking to herself again... Should I go get the white jacket?
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UkyoKuonji2004 Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 11:23 am
I got one better
*takes out knife*
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Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 11:48 am
*Leans forward eagerly* Really what are you going to do?
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UkyoKuonji2004 Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 11:52 am
twisted Maybe gut her like a fish
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Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 11:58 am
sweatdrop Killing her... Really?
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UkyoKuonji2004 Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 12:02 pm
She won't be talking to herself anymore.
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Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 12:10 pm
Clay: Whatta you have on her?
Jensen: Besides a pant-bustin' crush? Her Company file is blank. CIA has a standing kill order on her, as does Hamas, Sinn Fein... pretty much everyone with the exception of PETA wants this chick am-scrayed.
XD
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Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 12:11 pm
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Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 12:18 pm
Jensen: I'm warning you, I am a lethal killing machine. It was a secret government experiment. They did stuff to me. Spooky stuff... a**l stuff. It turned me into a dangerous telekinetic. In the words of Ancient Taoist masters, Don't start none... Won't be none.
Jensen: Boom
[Jensen shoots first guard]
Jensen: Pow
[Jensen shoots third guard]
[Jensen turns to second guard]
Jensen:Get down... or I'll make your heart stop beating with my mind.
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Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 12:22 pm
Who fed you sugar?
*takes out straightjacket*
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