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Dads tend to make lives miserable for some reason.

xd There are plenty of great dads.

It's just that dads of queers are usually "You have to be more ******** up than you are!!" for some reason. At least I think so.
Vague seems to think differently, but is only spouting it ot me over IM rather than posting it in the thread for some reason.

I think there's just some sort of subconcious knowing that makes people treat queers the ay they do, even if they don't "know" you're queer.

Haha, me getting weird. -goes back to favorable dumbness-

Astri feels significantly like she should NOT HAVE GONE AWAY these past few days.

Nios, I'm so glad Q's been talking to you. I would hate you to think no one is paying attention -- that would be awful.

In response to the first rant -- concerning boyfriends, birthdays, and gender identity: [in which, in all probability, I have overstepped my bounds]*



NO, it isn't. Nios, no matter how the day went or was going to go, you were upset and worried for legitimate reasons. If the fear is rational it does not fall under the catagory of paranoia. There are serious issues with this relationship. It seems to me that there was a real possibility that he might say something (albeit unintentionally) hurtful to you, and that that would make you (understandably) upset. You were especially anxious about this because of the significance of the day. Questions of romantic love aside, you clearly care for this guy and you wanted his birthday to be nice. All of that seems completely reasonable to me.

As I said, there are very real problems here:


He has no right to closet you. You. Are not. His girlfriend. He is dating a boy. Whether or not that is something he is comfortable with is his s**t. Now, if it were a question of safety, if he were worried about get the s**t beat of him or of being thrown out of his residence, than the situation would clearly be somewhat more complicated; however, that is not the message I'm getting here and I am going to assume this is not the case. By suggesting that he continue to refer to you as female (and by refering to you as female at all, if this was done after you expressed a desire not to be refered to be that way publicly) he is shows a complete lack of understanding as well as great disrespect to you. It implies that he either does not believe you or that he does not understand or believe in the importance of the distinction.


This is a HUGE problem, Nios. This is not in your head. If he says he accepts you for what you are, than he does not understand what that is. Therefor, he can't currently accept you for what you are. Whether he is unwilling to understand or unable to understand, or whether (for fear of ruining the friendship perhaps?) you have not been explicit enough in your explanations, I don't know.

What maybe worries me most is that you say he is your best friend. If that's true than why won't you be more open with him (about the bra, for instance)? Why are you hiding your feelings on something that is clearly so important to you? I understand the fear of losing him as a friend (trust me, I do), but you have to realize that if you are not open with him that is what will happen. You cannot have a meaningful friendship with him (or anyone else) without honesty. It can't work.

For both your sakes, you need to break up with him. Really. Soon. And then I would say (perhaps not...right afterwards, but for the friendship to continue) you need to sit down and have a heart-to-heart with him about who and what you are and what that means.


You can. You will. There are other people who will love you. I can't tell you whether or not you will find your "soulmate," Nios; that perfect person who will love you for every single thing that you are, exactly the way you'd want them to. I can't tell you that because I don't know and I don't know for myself and I won't lie to you. Maybe someone else can, but I don't know how "true love" works. I can tell you I think your chances are as good as anyone else's for finding it. I can tell you that there are people out there as capable of loving you as any person is capable of loving another.

I can tell you that dating probably won't be easy.

But unlike many people (some in the present, nearly all just a few generations ago), you are not confined to live in the place you were born. There are places, regions, environments where it is easier to find these people. You have the resource of the internet (through which you can meet people in real life). And remember, by society's standards you are still a child -- your opportunities will change as that does.


This is paranoia. wink What evidence have we given you that should make you think that? If you find any, please point it out so I can destroy whomever is responsible.


* I generally try to avoid telling people what to do and making concrete judgements. But I really do feel strongly about everything I've said here.

I do plan to respond to the second rant (concerning milk, parents, and panic attacks), but this took me roughly three hours (yeah, I write slow sweatdrop ) and I need to stop for now.

Maybe I can't find proof of it, but I wouldn't blame you if for thinking I'm a lil too sensitive and whiny, especially about milk.

Thank you for taking the time to talk to me Astri. It was really appreciated. I understand about not not saying anything concrete, it's a safe call when you don't know the whole situation.

Nios suites me just fine. ^_^

Who cares what others think?
It's about what you think.

If you spend your life adapting yourself so other people will you see you in a better light, you'll never be happy.

Maybe you should try and disconnect them, then.

Nothing is stopping you from making another rant. Rant all you want. That's what this thread is for.

I'd rant here, but... I don't want to run into everyone figuring out what numbers they were again. xp