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 Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2007 4:10 am
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Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2007 4:17 am
otak dye ,
bwhahahahaha rofl
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Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2007 6:34 am
nape korang gelak???hahaha
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Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2007 9:02 am
Hmm aku rekemen tgk Delta Farce psl citer tue sengal nak mampus
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Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 12:58 am
Mit-Levlan cerita ni aku rase tak la kelakar sangat... Pada suatu hari,seorang pemuda tergesa gesa hendak pergi ke masjid/surau kerana hendak solat magrib...tok imam dan yang lain lain dah balik....skali die pun masuk masjid/surau...selepas die ambik air sembahyang die pun terus semayang...pada rokaat pertama die rase macam ade bende lain macam...rokaat kedua waktu die tengah sujud,die rase macam ade bende berat kat tengkok die...and rokaat ketiga...die pun mendengar orang gelak...makin la makin kuat...then apebile die sudah semayang die pun tengok rupe-rupenye tok imam ngan semua orang nak semayang isyak kat masjid/surau tu yang gelak sebab die tak bukak helmet...  waakaka rofl rofl rofl rofl
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Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 5:12 pm
Learn Chinese in 5 minutes?
Ai No Pei............ I got this for free
Dum Gai ............. Stupid Man
Gun Pao Der......... An ancient Chinese invention
Hai Dei Kum............ They have arrived
Hao Long Wei Ting?........... Has your flight been delayed?
Jan Ne Ka Sun.......... A former late night talk show host
Kum Hia Nao......... See me A.S.A.P
Lao Zi ............... Not very good
Moon Lan Ding ........ A great achievement of the NASA program
No Pah King........... This is a tow away zone
Shai Gai ........... A bashful person
Tai Ne Bae Be ........ A premature infant
Tai Ni Po Ni ........ Small Horse
Wa Shing Ka ........ He's cleaning his automobile
Wai Go Nao?......... Please, stay a while longer
Wai Hang Mi? ....... I am not guilty
Wai So Dim? ......... It's very dark in here
Wai U Shao Ting ......... There is no reason to raise your voice
Wai Yu Sing Dum Song?........ Do you know the words to the Macarena?
Wai Yu So Tan?.......... Did you go to the beach?
Yu So Dum ............. You are not very bright
Tai Koo Ching ............smelly s**t of a cat
Tong Sam Pah..............a container to put rubbish in.
Hang Gee La .............you are Mad!!!
Mah Nya Chan Teik ! .............. Dont be presumptious
Chee La Kah Loo..................I am upset
Mah Nya Cha Kap...................Big mouth
Ta Ble Ku Lang.........................Price is fix.
Goh Bek Tu Wok............ Stop sending replies to the joke
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Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 5:15 pm
Bangla Joke
One day, there is an American, one Italian, a
Malaysian and a Bangladeshi travel around on a private
helicopter.
After about one hour travelling, the American take out
his cigarette ( Dunhill ) lighted it up
and start smoking after two sip, he throw the balance
of the cigarette.
The others three persons surprise and ask " Why didn't
you finish-up the cigarette before throwing ? " He
reply arrogantly " there is a lot of cigarette in my
country".
Half an hour later the Italian take a
bottle of branded perfume and apply on him and
the rest he throw out of the window. The other three
persons was surprised and ask " Why did you throw
away the perfume ? ". The Italian reply also
"there is alot of perfume in my country" .
The Malaysian don't know what to do suddenly push
that Bangladeshi out of the helicopter. The other
two person was shouted crazyly " Why did you push
him !!!!!!!?????? " .
The Malaysian say slowly "There is a lot of Bangladeshi
in my country ".
Everybody keep quite and stay away from the Malaysian.
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Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 5:18 pm
Body Language
Samy Vellu was visiting India when he fell and broke his jaw
and was unable to speak. Being the great leader that he was,
he continued his grand tour.
On the last week of his visit, the RTM crew was present for
his press conference. Although unable to speak, Samy insisted
sending a message home to his Cabinet colleagues.
Samy caught a chicken and showed it to camera. He next took
a goat, and showed it to the camera. Finally he took a bag
and displayed in front of the camera.
Dr Ling was the first to see the video clips. He said, "Samy
is telling us that India has insufficient food because he
showed us chicken and goat, and he wants Malaysia to donate
bags of rice."
The senator watched silently then said, "No lah!...what Samy
trying to say is HE IS COMING BACK!!!"
The whole Cabinet was puzzled and look to the man for
an explanation.
The Senator reasoned, "AYAM KAMBING BAG!!!"
("I am coming back!!!" in Indian accent)
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Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 5:27 pm
Ini kisah Samy Vellu dgn Indian Contractor:
Masa jambatan Pulau Pinang dalam peringkat cadangan - Confidential, Samy Vellu dah pecah lubang kat Indian Contractor from Tamil Nadu. So, dia bawak Indian Contractor tu jumpa Dr. M.
Dr. M tanya teknik macamana yang depa nak pakai untuk buat jambatan tu.
Samy Vellu menyampuk, katanya "They will have two construction teams, one will construct from the island and one from the main land and the bridge should meet at the middle. It is faster and very latest technology, sir".
Dr. M kurang yakin dan bertanya lagi, "If they miss the alignment and never meet at the middle, what will happen".
At this point the Indian Contractor menyampuk, "You are lucky sir, you will get two bridges".
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Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 5:32 pm
Who's the Boss? - by MSO 19/12/2000
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss.
The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and
functions."
The feet said, " We should be Boss as we carry the brain about
and get him to where he wants to go."
The hands said, " We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."
And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the a*****e
spoke up.
All the parts laughed at the idea of the a*****e being the Boss.
So the a*****e went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.
Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched,
the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered.
Eventually they all decided that the a*****e should be the Boss, so the motion was passed.
All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out
the s**t
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Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 5:39 pm
KAREKTOR MANUSIA BERDASARKAN KENTUTNYA......
1. Orang TIDAK JUJUR
Orang yang kalau kentut lalu menyalahkan orang lain.
2. Orang BANGANG
Orang yang menahan kentutnya sampai berjam-jam.
3. Orang BERWAWASAN LUAS
Orang yang tahu bila harus kentut.
4. Orang SENGSARA
Orang yang ingin kentut tapi tidak boleh kentut.
5. Orang MISTERIUS
Orang yang kalau kentut, orang lain tidak ada yang tahu.
6. Orang GUGUP
Orang yang tiba-tiba menahan kentutnya bila tiba masa nak kentut.
7. Orang yang PERCAYA DIRI SENDIRI
Orang yang selalu mengira kalau kentutnya bau harum.
8. Orang SADIS
Orang yang kalau kentut di ranjang terus dikibaskan baunya ke ranjang
orang lain.
9. Orang PEMALU
Orang yang kalau kentut tidak bunyi tapi lalu merasa malu sendiri.
10.Orang yang STRATEGIK
Orang yang menyembunyikan kentutnya dengan tertawa
terbahak-bahak biar orang lain tidak dengar.
11.Orang BODOH
Orang yang kalau habis kentut menghirup nafas untuk
mengganti kentutnya yang keluar.
12.Orang PELIK
Orang yang kalau kentut di keluarkan sikit-
sikit,sampai bunyi "tit-tit-tit"
13.Orang SOMBONG
Orang yang sering mencium kentutnya sendiri
14.Orang RAMAH
Orang yang senang mencium kentutnya orang lain.
15.Orang yang tidak senang BERGAUL
Orang yang kalau kentut sembunyi.
16.Orang AKUATIK
Orang kalau kentut di dalam air sampai bunyi
"blekuthuk-blekuthuk"
17.Orang ATLETIK
Orang kalau kentut sambil mengeluarkan tenaga dalam.
18.Orang JUJUR
Orang yang mengaku kalau habis kentut
19.Orang PINTAR
Orang yang boleh menandai bau kentut orang
lain. Nak tambah...
20. Orang MALANG
Orang yang nak kentut tapi terkeluar taik....
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Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 5:47 pm
You're next......
When I was younger I hated going to weddings.... it seemed that all of
my aunts and the grand-motherly types used to come up to me, poking me
in the ribs and giggling, telling me, 'You're Next.'
They stopped that s**t after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
Ah Soh ---------
Be careful......
There was this case in the hospital's Intensive Care ward where
patients always died in the same bed and on Friday mornings
regardless of their medical conditions. This puzzled the doctors
and some even thought that it had to do with the supernatural.
So the doctors decide to go down to that particular ward to
investigate the cause of the incidents. Come Friday morning,
everyone at the hospital ward nervously waited for the terrible
phenomenon to occur again.
Some holding prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evils...
Just before the expected time...........
...................
...................
.....scroll down ..............
...................
...................
...................
...................
...................
...................
...................
Scroll down for what happened.....
Then Ah Soh, the part-time Friday cleaner, comes in and unplugs
the lifesupport system so that she can use the vacuum cleaner!!!!
Kisah Tok Batin sombong....
------------------------------
Seorang askar rejimen PPH berjumpa dengan Tok Batin.
Mereka mula bersembang pasal makanan, dari makanan kampung sampailah ke makanan western.
Tok Batin tu tak mengaku kalah, tiap-tiap makanan yang diceritakan oleh askar tu semuanya dia dah try.
Mula-mula cerita pasal KFC, "Tu shaya dah terai dah, shedap....."
Lepas tu cerita pasal Pizza Hut, "Tu shaya dah terai dah, shedap....."
Lepas tu MOS Burger, "Tu pun shaya dah terai dah, shedap....."
At this point, askar tu dah syak Tok Batin ni nak temberangkan dia. Dia nak mengenakan Tok Batin tu pulak.
Askar tu tanya, "Tok Batin pernah makan kari kepala ikan ?". "Tu pun shaya dah terai dah, shedap....."
Askar tu tanya lagi, "Tok Batin pernah makan kepala keretapi ?". "Tu pun shaya dah terai dah, shedap....."
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Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 5:50 pm
"The Donkey -
Joke ni diulang tayang. Skrip asal dah hilang. Tapi ceritanya lebih kurang begini....read on...
Mengikut cerita, ada seorang Mat Saleh yang sesat di padang pasir. Oleh kerana terlalu lama tak tengok perempuan, maka tengok donkey pun dia naik steam. Dia cuba kejar donkey tu untuk melepaskan nafsunya tapi tak dapat-dapat hingga ke petang. Bila petang sama-sama letih hingga tertidur sampai keesokan hari.
Esok harinya, Mat Saleh tu terjaga dahulu. Donkey masih tidur kerana terlalu letih. Dia ambil peluang nak memperkosa donkey tu, tapi malangnya donkey tu bergerak kehadapan bila terasa benda bulat tajam. Mat Saleh tu masih tak putus asa sampailah mereka ke satu tempat. Di tempat itu ada seorang Minah Saleh yang sesat, dah lama tak jumpa lelaki. Minah tu offer "What can I do to help you. I will do anything".
Mat Saleh tu senyum " Yes Maam. Could you hold the donkey for me please. I have been trying for two days to make love with the donkey".
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Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 5:51 pm
Pak Pandir ( Part II)-
Pak Pandir baru saja kahwin. Tapi punya lah bongok Pak Pandir ni, pada malam pertama tu dia tak tau nak buat apa apa.
So Mak Andir lah yang buat the first move. Mak Andir pun buka lah baju , sampai habis.
Pak Pandir ni , first time tengok pempuan telanjang. Alang kah terkejut nya Pak Pandir bila dia lihat ada kesan 'luka' pada celah peha Mak andir.
Lalu dia panggil doktor. Di suruh nya jahit kesan 'luka' pada Mak Andir tu.
Tapi doktor ni gian punya doktor, dah naik steam tengok Mak Andir dok terbogel , lalu dia suruh Pak Pandir keluar dan dia 'kerjakan' mak Andir.
Bila Doktor tu dah blah, Pak Pandir tengok 'benda' tu sama saja, tak ada kesan jahit pun.
Tapi bila dia letak tangan dia kat situ, dia rasa melekit lekit .
Lalu dia berkata 'Cilaka punya doktor, dia sudah tipu aku. Aku suruh dia jahit, tapi dia cuma taruh GAM aje"
--- Ni saya cover ekk sebab joke ni terlampau advance sangat untuk mereka yang minions wink
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Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2007 1:43 am
Junhaw Body Language Samy Vellu was visiting India when he fell and broke his jaw and was unable to speak. Being the great leader that he was, he continued his grand tour. On the last week of his visit, the RTM crew was present for his press conference. Although unable to speak, Samy insisted sending a message home to his Cabinet colleagues. Samy caught a chicken and showed it to camera. He next took a goat, and showed it to the camera. Finally he took a bag and displayed in front of the camera. Dr Ling was the first to see the video clips. He said, "Samy is telling us that India has insufficient food because he showed us chicken and goat, and he wants Malaysia to donate bags of rice." The senator watched silently then said, "No lah!...what Samy trying to say is HE IS COMING BACK!!!" The whole Cabinet was puzzled and look to the man for an explanation. The Senator reasoned, "AYAM KAMBING BAG!!!" ("I am coming back!!!" in Indian accent) ni paling lawak wakakakakakakaka
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