Advice for Life

[Reverse Nurse]

ErinsChaos... that was a really great idea. n__n  

[JoeEuphonium]

me and angie had another talk again about .... separation and being happy and what not... a hypothetical talk i suppose you can say. When ever we have this conversation... it tends to bring a sense of relief to me and the tensions disappear between us... we talk and joke and become closer at least on a friend level if not a lover level. Its weird... i dont know.. kinda like a reset button ... anyways.. yeah. ehhehe  

[ErinsChaos]

JoeEuphonium

me and angie had another talk again about .... separation and being happy and what not... a hypothetical talk i suppose you can say. When ever we have this conversation... it tends to bring a sense of relief to me and the tensions disappear between us... we talk and joke and become closer at least on a friend level if not a lover level. Its weird... i dont know.. kinda like a reset button ... anyways.. yeah. ehhehe

Well I'm glad things have gotten a little bit better at least. I do hope though that real progress is made and it is not just a temporary fix. Though those are nice in the long run they don't get ya very far.. especially when you end up having the exact same conversation every couple of weeks.. or months.. Keep us notified as always.. for now I shall go before I end up ranting and raving about my own issues lol.. and for now I think that would just increase them... *sigh* Take care everyone.. I'll see ya around the guild sooner or later...  

[JoeEuphonium]

ErinsChaos

JoeEuphonium

me and angie had another talk again about .... separation and being happy and what not... a hypothetical talk i suppose you can say. When ever we have this conversation... it tends to bring a sense of relief to me and the tensions disappear between us... we talk and joke and become closer at least on a friend level if not a lover level. Its weird... i dont know.. kinda like a reset button ... anyways.. yeah. ehhehe

Well I'm glad things have gotten a little bit better at least. I do hope though that real progress is made and it is not just a temporary fix. Though those are nice in the long run they don't get ya very far.. especially when you end up having the exact same conversation every couple of weeks.. or months.. Keep us notified as always.. for now I shall go before I end up ranting and raving about my own issues lol.. and for now I think that would just increase them... *sigh* Take care everyone.. I'll see ya around the guild sooner or later...

*huggles* just dont bottle them up to long...  

[Phoenix_soarys]

every once in a while hubby and i start having our "bad times"

we are both diagnosed manic depressive, so it's hard sometimes dealing with it,

but, we do stuff like the "reset" button, where we sit down once a week and just talk, just us, no kids, no friends, JUST US.

it helps! communication seem's to be the main key in any marriage smile  

[JoeEuphonium]

toadies_soarys

every once in a while hubby and i start having our "bad times"

we are both diagnosed manic depressive, so it's hard sometimes dealing with it,

but, we do stuff like the "reset" button, where we sit down once a week and just talk, just us, no kids, no friends, JUST US.

it helps! communication seem's to be the main key in any marriage smile

your so right toady... I just wish i wasnt afraid to say what i want to say sometimes because I think it could be crushing... and then sometimes i wonder if she will even listen.. she shuts out the conversation when she doesnt like what she hears... but more importantly... i dont think im ready for things to change if they do.. Im not ready for the possibility of loosing my little ones if things turn for the worse because of our conversation.  

[Phoenix_soarys]

poor joe, i wish there were more ways for us to help....  

[JoeEuphonium]

toadies_soarys

poor joe, i wish there were more ways for us to help....

You all help me immensely... for all that i tell you... not all the picture is laid out for you to see... but... i think .. in the future... more will be open.  

[Zercia]

JoeEuphonium

toadies_soarys

poor joe, i wish there were more ways for us to help....

You all help me immensely... for all that i tell you... not all the picture is laid out for you to see... but... i think .. in the future... more will be open.

Many doors will open and many paths will come before you. Joe you are really nice guy and sweet. Lifes bumps make us who we are.  

[Phoenix_soarys]

i don't know what movie it was, but the gal in it said it all

she was asked "if you knew you were going to die tomorrow, would all this have been worth it"

and she said "It's lifes experiences that make it worth living"  

[JoeEuphonium]

toadies_soarys

i don't know what movie it was, but the gal in it said it all

she was asked "if you knew you were going to die tomorrow, would all this have been worth it"

and she said "It's lifes experiences that make it worth living"

*nods at the immense wisdom of a the movie* hehehe i wish.. i wish life was as easy as a movie  

[Phoenix_soarys]

it seemed like a pretty frustrating movie...

the dude invented this machine that helped him look into the future,
and he realized that the only future there is is the ONE we make, xp that by seeing the future in this movie, they created it...all while trying to AVOID IT!  

[JoeEuphonium]

.....

How do i become my own rock to rely on?

Hello *waves* My name is Joe and I am Co-dependant.

I am struggling so hard right now to find myself. I am now going longer periods with out my kids. I get extremely lonely at night. I am trying to find a way to be happy with myself. I also am staying away more and more from gaia as well... which makes me wonder if I am also dependant on it and you guys for my happiness too? *huggles*

Someone told me that i must be my own rock.
But.. i think about that ... and ... im not sure if thats right or not.

I think Right now ... I am a tree.... I think that my rock is something that I am rooted into.... for a long time... I was rooted into my children. Now.. I must find a new rock i suppose... perhaps music, maybe work, .....maybe its God that i am missing?

Please... thoughts on this everybuddy would be soo helpful....*huggles*

EDIT: replace rock with anchor... they said be your own anchor >.< im a rock for hearing and thinking rock lol >.<  

[kool ken]

I think you need to be a rock, not for yourself, but so your children can be rooted in you.  

[thistle7]

wow, what a total trip reading through these older posts... kind of like reading peoples older journals you know? It is wonderful to see people being open and responsive, and caring.

My thoughts on being ones own rock: I grew up having to be the one constant in my mothers life. She continuously pulled us in and out of situations, clinging to me as her foundation really. That was of course always countered by making me responsible for her joy and happiness, it all being my fault when she was angry. This made me of course look for others in my life to be my joy or happiness by finding ME to be theirs, never feeling like I was enough on my own, not enough for anything really. If I didnt have someone else validating my existence, I wasnt really there. Of course I had to find people that judged me and put me down just like my mom so that I would also FAIL all the time in being someone elses happiness. See pattern; repeat... blech.
Anyway... after years and years of the same old self abuse and insanity, and learning, and rial and error... what I believe I have learned is that I can never put my happiness in someone elses hands. FIND happiness with another, sure, but I am the one who makes my life what it is All other people are just as me, human, and we as humans struggle every day to know reality and be truly honest with ourselves. Sadly, but true I believe, is that we all die alone, or with a god of your understanding, but not with another person.
I strive to be my own anchor, find my own spirituality, search out and create my own centeredness in my daily life. It is a blessing and a truly amazing thing to find another person that I feel I can truly be all of myself with, but I hope that I build my personal foundation on something that lies within myself, not within another person. Especially not my son.

Hey, did I write a book? LOLZ....