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August 6, 2004

Today is the day, the day to present Lenore with the wand I meticulously shaped and smoothed for the last few days. It is safe to say that I have never poured as much of myself into anything else I have ever crafted before, not even the engagement ring I made for Lenore. This flows deeper than that, for at times I almost felt like the wand and my body were one.



Will she like it? I'm not sure... and I'm beyond nervous, hence my writing this down prior to my gifting of it to her. Will my gift, my words, my renewed vow of devotion be enough for her? Moreover, can I at least get this damn guilt out of my heart? I've spoken with every member of our family, even our little ones who likely did not understand a single word I said beyond 'Lenore' and possibly 'Mother'. I've talked over what I will say, what I will do so many times the words are stuck in my brain. I pray I won't sound rehearsed as I say them, as that is the last thing I would want Lenore to think.

Well, I cannot avoid this any longer. Time to face my fears, and hopefully come out unscathed.

~ Eirnae Slytherin-Natenhar

(( Oh WOW! eek He's wonderful, Kamiki and Rik! Thank you very much! whee ))

August 6, 2004 (Evening)

What can I say, my diary? That I am grateful? That I am relieved? No, I am both of these things and so much more. When Lenore held me again after all of these days of being without her touch, I was filled with a seeming thousand emotions at once, the most prominent one joy. She understands how I feel now, and I her. Why did we let ourselves get swept away on the currents of guilt and suspicion? I'm not sure...but I do not plan to let it happen again. Even if the pain is an old one, it shall be discussed and handled by us both, as a team, like it should be.

Did she like the wand? Yes, she seems to love it. In fact, I have yet to see her put it down since she picked it up. I haven't really had the time to ask if she feels comfortable using it yet, as I've had Damien in my arms ever since we entered the living room again. He simply didn't want to leave my presence, which warmed my heart near to bursting. He didn't even want to go to Vinyn when she said she was heading out back for a swim, nor to Shina when she said she would tend to dinner. I'll admit, I felt really special that he chose to stay with me. Silly, I know, but true.

Now I am readying myself to join Shina out front for our greeting to our Lady's moon, and then it is to bed for a good long cuddle with Lenore, something I have missed greatly.

~ Eirnae Slytherin-Natenhar

August 12, 2004

The new manor has turned out to be just as we hoped it would be, and somehow in this place, on this land and in this house, I feel safer than I have in a long time. I can only agree with Lenore again that moving here was the best thing we could do for our family as well as to protect Damien. Here our family can grow and flourish, with plenty of room for everyone. The forest surrounding the grounds is a beautiful one, and nearly as lush as the ones I remember growing up by. My father would love this place, with its deep connection to nature and all of her wonders. More than once I have imagined him standing by my side as well as my mother as we settled into this place, and once again I find myself wishing they could be here to see their grandchildren. One day, perhaps I will find a way to bring them here, if only for a short time. Anyway, I shouldn't focus on such things, as I have been truly blessed in my life. I need not search for something to long for.

One such good happening in my life came on the 8th of this month, when I received a summons from a woman by the name of Lady Sahjiri, and I went immediately to see if what she suspected were true. It turned out that yes, I do indeed have Fey blood, if thinned, pumping through my veins, and I was able to free a precious little girl with butterfly wings from her imprisionment within a stained glass window. The oddity is that she is supposedly my ansector, yet she appears to only be one year old. I remained with her during the night and on into the morning, returning to Barton to shop for new furniture and other necessary items for her and then going back again to finish with her room. My family was very understanding about my need to attend to the newly freed Pappila, though they are still mighty curious about her. I will be sure to bring her here to visit with everyone once I feel she is old enough to make the trip.

Each one of our dear ones thanked us the day we moved into the manor for their rooms, with the exception of Ernia, as she doesn't seem to like Lenore or myself very much at all. Oh, she tolerates us, but her true affection is towards Nyoka, much to our daughter's chagrin. Nyoka has taken Ernia 'under her wing' and has yet to complain too loudly about the arrangement. Oddly enough, when Itzel arrived she did much the same with Alimus, with the exception of disdain for me. She doesn't seem quite used to Lenore or anyone else beyond Shina, but she absolutely adores Alimus and mreowls most piteously when he isn't near. I find it adorable that she chose him, and find the warmth of truly being a parent in Alimus's heart refreshing indeed.

I'd like to note that Shina and I went outside and planted the roses she brought from her garden the second day we were here, just the two of us. We had many a long discussion that day, about all of the things that have been happening and the changes we thought might still happen. The roses have already begun to grow, amazingly enough. I wonder if Lenore had anything to do with that.

Speaking of odd happenings, I never expected for two House Elves to be here when we moved in. Apparently Emmy and Faene were staying around our construction site for days prior to its finishing, and popped into the place as soon as it was done. They have taken over the duties of cleaning and food preparation without us having to ask, and I have to admit that they are very good at what they do. Of course edging around Emmy around dinner time to try and make a meal myself is like trying to tug off the horns of a manitcore. In fact, give me a manticore to fight any day instead of having to stare down the tiny bundle of energy that is Emmy. She wins every damn time! I suppose I shouldn't complain, after all she does do elven dishes surprisingly well, and Lenore is very pleased with her take on Italian. Emmy is trying to figure out all of our favorite dishes gradually, to surprise us now and then with a blend of tastes suitable for everyone. Faene doesn't seem to share her flair for cooking, but get him cleaning and he doesn't miss a speck. I'm not kidding, as he tests for any possible remainder of dust with white gloves.

Anyway, that is enough writing for one day. Time to take Damien outside so he can play in the koi pond with the others. I just need to find a way to keep them from petting the poor koi like cats.

~ Eirnae Slytherin-Natenhar

Eirnae has no choice but to cease her singing to answer Lenore, once again wishing she had Shina's gift of directly speaking to another soul with her own. "No, Lovely, you are not. I'm not sure what is growing, but no matter what you look like I will find you beautiful," she says calmly and soothingly in elven, her right hand quickly putting the now empty vial back into her beltpouch so both of her hands can cup Lenore's face gently and lightly rub her chosen's pale cheeks with her bare thumbs. "Concentrate on me, Lenore, listen to my voice. I love you, we all love you. Listen to me now, Lovely."

Damien isn't sure of what to do now. He understands a smattering of Eirnae's elven words, but they bring no comfort to his butterfly heart. It still feels like its wings are fluttering faster and faster with his worry being its fuel. He crawls back on the bed with a low whimper and flops onto his tummy. He cannot drag his eyes away from the black thing sprouting from his Mother's rear. It is a sick fascination, and one he desperately tries to tear himself away from, but he cannot.

Calavel runs up the stairs as quickly as possible, opening up the front of her longcoat to reveal her wand harness, currently nearly full of a selection of wands. She steps around Eirnae easily and eyes the situation, flicking out a simple wooden wand from her harness and waving it testingly over the spots on Lenore that are showing signs of change. "Wild magic," she states simply after a few minutes, her blue eyes narrowing, "There is nothing we can do but make her comfortable." Her sharp gaze flashes to Damien, who crawls still further back on the bed in response. Calavel walks straight over and plucks him from atop the bed, keeping the squirming Damien in her arms as she instructs, "Lay her stomach down on the bed, my student."

Eirnae nods and guides Lenore over to help her lay on top of the bed face down, murmuring soothing words the whole time.

Calavel steps forward and places Damien on the bed, watching him scurry to curl up by Lenore's side, one small hand reach out to lightly pat at his mother's cheek like he saw his other mother do. Calavel sits down on the edge of the bed and chcks through her wands, finally selecting one that resembles a unicorn horn. She begins to wave that over Lenore's back, her eyes closing as Calavel starts to chant in draconic, likely a spell to dull pain and heal the body.

Eirnae lays down by Lenore's other side, leaning forward to kiss her love's neck fondly before resting her head on the pillows by Lenore's. She trusts in Calavel, and also knows that Alimus is hovering just outside of the room in case he is needed. She finds comfort in this gathering of family, though she plans to find out exactly how this happened once the ordeal is over.

Eirnae's eyes are a study of surprise as she takes in these odd changes in her mate, her left hand being the only one that is free reaches forward and gently rubs a fingertip against the closest of Lenore's horns. "By the Lady..." she murmurs, obviously not fully registering what she both sees and feels.

Damien is also fascinated, though he certainly cannot reach the objects that have captured his attention so without sitting up, which he is not prone to do right now. 'Momma needs me,' he thinks to himself, pressing into Lenore's side lovingly.

Calavel 'hmms' as she looks over the horns and tail, wondering what in the hells inspired anyone to use wild magic to do this, of all things. "Well Lenore," she begins conversationally now that her spell is complete, "That will take come getting used to, won't it?"

August 24, 2004

What I feared came true, of course, and Lenore is convinced that she looks hideous. Luckily she isn't taking this to such a level that she would hide from our family, but we have not been intimate together for the last four days. Now, I understand that she needs time, and I am in no hurry to rush her. However, I'll admit I'm hurt that she would think me so shallow as to love her less due to these changes. I'll always think her lovely, no matter what happens. It is her personality and kind spirit I fell in love with, not her beautiful body.

Granted her horns and tail are still causing a bit of a buzz in the household, but everyone is trying to be supportive. For now we've all agreed to simply act as if they are not there while she gets used to having them. Of course trying to tell that plan to a hyperactive Vinyn was a flop, who takes every opportunity she can get to nab Lenore by the end of her tail to get her attention. Even Damien registered what I said to him regarding our family's plan, but I think what guilt he has over the situation might be reinforcing it within his mind.

The true shining light through all of this? Arlath and her sudden protectiveness over Lenore. She doesn't say a word, but after the first two times of Vinyn playfully grabbing at Lenore's tail she took up the habit of staying by Lenore's side wherever she goes in the house. She's been helping Lenore with all sorts of things in her quiet way, her actions speaking for the concern I can see in her eyes. The last time I saw Vinyn reach for Lenore's tail, I witnessed Arlath pin her with such a cold glare it sent a shiver down my spine. I need to make a little something for Arlath so she understands how grateful I am for her interaction with and 'guardianship' of Lenore.

Damien has been following me as of late, the little cutie. I've even taken him into my workshop to show him how I craft jewelry. He got to play with some scraps of soft metals under my supervision, and seemed quite pleased by just sitting there by my workbench, stacking large gems on top of small silver bars. Perhaps he would want to learn more of my trade like Arlath has taken to?

Shina offered to talk to Lenore about these changes, but I advised her not to. She means well, but Lenore just needs time for her self esteem to heal. Odd way of putting it, I know, but such is how I see it. Now for me to go and try to sneak past Emmy to make dinner. Now there's a true challenge in itself!

~ Eirnae Slytherin-Natenhar

August 27, 2004

Alright, perhaps all of Py'via's growth had been done prior to her meeting our family, because when I went out to the stables to check on how she was getting along with our equines I was met by a much taller and decidingly unclothed female centaur whose looks reminded me strongly of Py'via. Turns out it was Py'via, and that she had sprouted this morning. She explained to my surprised look that such a thing is normal for her kind, and I'll have to take her word for it. Eilistraee knows that every other race seems to do much the same on Gaia, why not centaurs?

I got her some new clothing, a tunic with silver embroidery, and a pouch she can wear against one hip, if one calls it that. She seemed pleased with both and thanked me graciously, then asking me why I chose the colors of the tunic as I did. Was it a mistake to say they were the colors of our household? I'm unsure, but the result was her looking surprised and then pleased, bending one foreleg to bow down to me as she pledged her eternal loyalty and service to the Slytherin-Natenhar family. Not what I was going for, believe me. However, what's done is done, and now Py'via is convinced she's a Guardian of our family's land, especially the Emerald Forest. I'll need to get her a weapon of some sort soon, because the way she struts about she's bound to get into trouble, and I'd like her to be able to get back out of it again.

I'm pleased to say that Lenore snuggled up to me this morning, and though nothing happened, just holding her was bliss. It was very cute when Damien scooted inbetween us and fell asleep. I just couldn't stop petting his hair, even after he slipped into the realm of slumber. Our dear son... It's a miracle we had a child together, Lenore and I. As much as I love our daughters, Damien will always have a special place in my heart. I know he also has one secured in Lenore's, just by the way she looks at him adoringly now and then. He has us around his pinky finger, I just hope he doesn't realize it for a long while.

~ Eirnae Slytherin-Natenhar