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| Sexual Orientation is defined by... |
| choice of partner for sexual intercourse. |
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20% |
[ 12 ] |
| who you love. |
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53% |
[ 31 ] |
| (other factors, etc.) |
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25% |
[ 15 ] |
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| Total Votes : 58 |
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 Posted: Sat Oct 21, 2006 12:11 pm
Merriam-Webster's Medical Dictionary - Cite This Source
Main Entry: 1ho·mo·sex·u·al
Pronunciation: "hO-m&-'seksh-(&-)w&l, -'sek-sh&l
Function: adjective
1 : of, relating to, or characterized by a tendency to direct sexual desire toward individuals of one's own sex —compare HETEROSEXUAL 1a
2 : of, relating to, or involving sexual intercourse between individuals of the same sex —compare HETEROSEXUAL 1b —ho·mo·sex·u·al·ly /-E/ adverb
Merriam-Webster's Medical Dictionary, © 2002 Merriam-Webster, Inc.
Thread over. Sexual desire for men would make Jaft gay, not love for men. Yes, if you are a gay man, then you will almost definatly fall in love with a man, but that isnt why youre gay. Youre gay because if you were asked to choose which gender you want to sleep with, you would say "A man please!"
You have it backwards. Your love is not directing your sexuality... your sexuality directs your love. You can see this by simply finding someone who is not in love, and asking them which gender they like to have sex with. When they answer one way or the other, you will see that their sexuality is very seperate from love.
Maybe we are using the word love differently?
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Posted: Sat Oct 21, 2006 2:25 pm
Slim95 beaulolais i have heard that in the black community, if a man takes the active 'aggressor" role, he is not considered gay; only the other guy is. it doesnt make sense to me. i believe i understand what you're saying, but i disagree. if you're making love with some one or even some thing that is not a human of the opposite sex, somehow in your brain chemistry you are not truly straight. which is fine, but it helps to know who's who. If you're saying intercourse defines your sexual orientation, I disagree. My uncle is a homosexual, but all throughout his high school years, despite the fact that he was pretty sure of his homosexuality, he had sex with girls to convince everyone else otherwise. He was afraid of his parent's and peer's reactions, so he hid everything. This doesn't make him bisexual. Hrm... much the same reason aretoo was asexual throgh school. That, and a serious case of denial...
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Posted: Sat Oct 21, 2006 3:00 pm
Antun makes the most sense to me. The biggest key word in sexuality is sex. And while having sex with someone of the same gender doesn't necessarily make you gay and vice versa...having sexual desire towards someone with they same gender as you does. So unless you find sexual desire and love the same thing, it doesn't work. And I for one see very little connection between sex and love. But that may just be because I'm asexual....
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Posted: Sat Oct 21, 2006 5:27 pm
XD I love the tone of this thread.
But that's very interesting actually, I've never seen it taken from that approach. It's just nice to see a thread that isn't about trying to convince people homosexuality is/is not a choice and such.
It makes sense to me though. Huzzah for spreading a new light on the subject.
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Posted: Sat Oct 21, 2006 5:46 pm
wakusei Antun makes the most sense to me. The biggest key word in sexuality is sex. And while having sex with someone of the same gender doesn't necessarily make you gay and vice versa...having sexual desire towards someone with they same gender as you does. So unless you find sexual desire and love the same thing, it doesn't work. And I for one see very little connection between sex and love. But that may just be because I'm asexual.... Im actually suprised that more people didnt come here to say that love and sex are seperate things. Jaft used the word maturity, and its severly impaired almost everyones ability to think for themselves here.
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Posted: Sat Oct 21, 2006 7:00 pm
Oh~ , good one Antun.
I have to agree... wink
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Jafthasleftthebuilding Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 1:41 am
Antun wakusei Antun makes the most sense to me. The biggest key word in sexuality is sex. And while having sex with someone of the same gender doesn't necessarily make you gay and vice versa...having sexual desire towards someone with they same gender as you does. So unless you find sexual desire and love the same thing, it doesn't work. And I for one see very little connection between sex and love. But that may just be because I'm asexual.... Im actually suprised that more people didnt come here to say that love and sex are seperate things. Jaft used the word maturity, and its severly impaired almost everyones ability to think for themselves here. Yes, they are separate things. And I've seen this thing called a dictionary too. I disagree with that definition. THAT'S WHY I MADE THIS THREAD!!! Let's be more civil here. I'm looking at a different perspective of what would make a person straight, homosexual, or bisexual, or whatever. Definitions are flawed and I don't find them definite. Look at the word gay, look at the word love, etc. Definitions can change. Don't depend on dictionaries to define your thoughts and finalize your ideas. Let them be a reference or a guideline as you try to go beyond a mere definition and try to create your own. That's how we discover new things in life, that's how we have inventors giving birth to ideas that at first seemed impossible, but now plausible. Electricity? That Franklin was crazy. I find sex to be hardly a way to determine your true orientation. It's very unreliable. Like I stated in the arguement and multiple times here, sex can be had with anything. However, if you love this thing, and have sex with it, then you can draw a conclusion on what your orientation could be. Sex and love are two separate things. Two separate acts, ideas, whatever you want to call them. However, they do often work and come together for many. Now... Just to clarify the civility thing, I didn't appreciate Discussion over. I found it rude and untrue. Oh! About the maturity thing, I was commenting on people who are able to think past standards and taboos, people who think outside of the box. Right then. Stimulation will be had in this thread and I meant every pun that goes along with this sentence.
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Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 6:51 am
I stand by what I said about the use of the word maturity. Using that word sets people up. Thanking outside the box, as you said, does not make someone mature.
I do apologize got saying "thread over." I didnt mean people should stop posting, its more of a joke from another website that I thought a few people would notice.
Unfortunately, when it comes to things like the definition of words, it is what it is. We made the word homosexuality, and we defined it. Thats why we have dictionarys, so everyone has access to the definitions we have come up with. If we all decided that we were going to shun the dictionary and come up with our own meanings for words, then none of us with have any idea what the other was talking about.
The example of Franklins discovery of electricity is a flawed example, as he discoved something in the environment that others had ignored, something useful. You on the other hand, are telling us that we should view a concept in a different way. Franklin was a genius, this is the internet.
Finally, I still refuse to believe that love will determine your titled sexuality. Actions Jaft, thats all we have to measure someone with. Feelings like Love are too fickle. Say a gay man falls in love with a woman. Its crazy, she is everything he has ever wanted in a man, but she has a v****a. The woman happens to find this man very attractive, so they begin to date. This homosexual man, wanting to make the woman happy because he loves her, has sex with her. He doesnt find it enjoyable at all, he only does it to please his love.
Is he any less gay? I know I just made that up, so it isnt very convincing, but things like this happen. There are cases of men who have already married a woman, have had children and are very much in love with their wives. Then they discover they are gay, thats why the sex always sucked. These people seek counceling and crap, trying to "fix" it. They loved their wives. Are they straight?
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Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 8:51 am
I kind of agree with both Jaft and Antum.
Antum has a point, I mean I was going to point out that someone (lets say a homosexual) loved a woman, but wanted them to be a man.
The woman could change to a man, and the homosexual would still be homosexual, because they loved the woman not because they were a woman, but because of who she was/what she was like.
When she changed herself into a man, the homosexual would have been happy because they had what they felt was the perfect person...
I also agree with Jaft, because it wouldn't matter who gave you the sexual pleasure, its who you love that counts. oh, and we all define things differently in our brains. I have my own little dictionary in my head, which I'm sure is quite different from the Oxford English Dictionary. Its like some people define an "emo" as someone who slits their wrists and wants to die, but I define them differently. Its all about the way you think.
Does that make sense or did I write it in a strange way that doesn't make sense? sweatdrop
P.S.- First post in this guild! wahoo! xd
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Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 1:53 pm
My respect points for you have gone up. Thanks.
Oh, with the definitions, sonyaswan brings up a good point with perspective, changing how personal definitions can work.
Your example is a valid example, but people who are in love don't need to go and have sex with each other to prove it. I would say that gay man is a bisexual, but your example is proving far too complicated for me because I would need to know how he is thinking. This where a person would select other factors. biggrin
Maturity is growth and development right? I associate be able to think outside of the box a sign of maturity, for kids wouldn't be able to think about how things could be different, but as they grow they see more and want to know more, etc. etc. Tis my personal definition. smile
What aspects are you thinking of? Kindness, loyalty, etc. in this woman?
Now I need to make a new topic really soon. Hopefully by Tuesday. >.<
I have many thoughts.
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Jafthasleftthebuilding Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 2:50 pm
Awesome. Yes, that makes sense. And if everyone had that kind of mind, we should all have bisexuality in us, 'cause ignoring the bodies, we are all really the same. so.. yeah. I feel like typing a lot more of the stuff I was thinking about lately, but i can't concentrate right now with my brother watching the stupid tv again.
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Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 3:05 pm
It is true that people do not need to have sex with each other to prove love. I fully agree with you. However, in almost all relationships, sex does play a large role. Obviously it provides pleasure and sexual release for both people involved, but related to the idea of love, its a very close, intimate interaction. So in my example, I was saying a gay man was with a straight woman. The woman is going to want to have sex at some point, and the man in my example decided to do it for her regardless of his lack of sexual desire for women. He did this because he loves her.
This works, right? I mean, you can see similar things happening in any normal relationship, things that have to do with sex, and things that dont. Any good boyfriend/girlfriend will do things they dont really enjoy to make their significant other, so I dont see why it wouldnt carry over into the sort of unconventional relationship I described earlyer.
As far as what the man saw in the woman? I was refering to behavior, morals, stuff like that. All the non-sexual things you could find in someone that are attractive. Said woman could have a pleasing sence of humor, be extremely loyal, those sorts of things.
We can just forgot about the ideas of maturity or the dictionary. We could both be right or wrong on either of them. I can see what youre saying about both, and Im more interested in the idea that sex and love are too seperate to use one to define the other.
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Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 3:24 pm
I am definitely making people in my TMS class read this. There is this one kid who literally calls himself a quarter bisexual because he has had sex with four people and one of them was a guy.
Now I can tell him that unless he loved all those people (which I doubt; he's kind of heartless) plus his special sock, he is... what's the term?
Like when you put a kitty in a box with a vial of poison, if exists in a state of something until you open the box and see if it's dead or alive.
Yeah. I would be a lot more coherent and wise-sounding if I could remember ANYTHING from Physics last year.
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Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 3:24 pm
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Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 3:37 pm
Denoument I am definitely making people in my TMS class read this. There is this one kid who literally calls himself a quarter bisexual because he has had sex with four people and one of them was a guy. Now I can tell him that unless he loved all those people (which I doubt; he's kind of heartless) plus his special sock, he is... what's the term? Um... a slut?
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