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 Posted: Mon Oct 02, 2006 9:36 am
Parvaiz smiled and picked up his coffee again.
"I'm glad you are enjoying things." he said taking a sip of the coffee and looking out towards the kitchen.
"Shall we go and join everyone else?" He suggested placing a hand on his son's shoulder and urging them to the garden.
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Posted: Mon Oct 02, 2006 11:15 pm
A few minutes later they were all out in the garden together. Obie held a cup of tea between her hands as she looked out around the garden, her eyes resting briefly on each family member. Glancing down into her cup for a moment she slowly lifted it to take a sip. She was glad that Ra had asked her to come with him. She felt closer to him now that she had seen where it was he had come from and the people that had raised him. She found she rather liked his father as well and was no longer scared of him. He and Ra were similar in so many ways, it was hard not to like him.
Slowly her mind started to turn to her own family and it made her wonder how a girl like her could end up with a guy like Ra. They came from such different worlds. It almost made her feel ill to think on how easily things could have been different. If her parents had not had Isabel or if they had managed to find it in their hearts to actually love both of their daughters equally... She just didn't understand what was so hard about it. Looking around again at the large, happy family around her, they made it all seem so easy.
And what about her real parents? Could she really trust the people who had neglected her and then turned her out? What if everything they had told her had been a lie? What if her real family really had been looking for her or had really hoped to give her a better life like Ra had said? Or worse... What if it hadn't been a lie? Being one family's mistake was hard enough. She didn't think she could bear to be another one.
Lifting her tea with a shaky hand, she almost made it to her lips, but instead ended up with tea all over her front. Well... that was embarassing, she thought as she brushed at the wet spot on her shirt, a blush starting to color her pale cheeks.
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Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 3:28 am
Ra and his father had been telling Obie about their trip to Mecca the previous year. Ra's father had a way of telling things that made things that at the time had been stressful and slightly scary sound funny.
As Obie spilled her tea Ra turned and smiled.
"Are you all right?" He asked, realising she had been quite quiet. "I'll get you cloth." He said placing a hand on her shoulder and standing.
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Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 3:36 am
Obie set her cup down and continued to brush at the spot. She glanced up at Ra's question and gave him a small smile.
"I'll go with you," she said, rising to her feet and giving Parvaiz a slight nod of apology for the interruption, though she felt bad that she had not entirely been paying attention in the first place. Following Ra into the house, she continued to brush distractedly at the stain. It might just be easier to change, she thought with a small sigh.
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Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 3:43 am
Taking the oppertunity out of the family eyes Ra took Obie's hand and took her up to the bathroom. The kitchen was a bit of a no go area as dinner was being prepared.
"You didn't burn yourself did you?" He asked damping and flanel and handing it to her.
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Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 3:48 am
Obie looked up when Ra's hand slipped over hers and allowed him to lead her to the bathroom. She took the cloth from him and shook her head as she began to wipe at the stain.
"No. It was cooled," she replied, keeping her eyes down. "Sorry about this," she said softly. "I should have been paying more attention to what I was doing. I hope your father is not upset for the interruption."
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Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 3:57 am
Ra laughed a little and sat on the edge of the bath.
"Don't worry. He won't mind." He smiled watching her for a moment. "Are you sure you are all right?" He asked. He had half of an idea of what it was that was bothering her but he wanted to hear her say it so that he could be sure.
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Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 4:03 am
She had half a mind to tell him yes, she was alright and put on a brave face. But she could feel her strength start to break and she was suddenly tired of dealing with it all on her own. What was the point of letting someone in, only to shut them out?
"Yes and no," she finally said, glancing up at him.
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Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 4:10 am
Ra smiled at her and held his arm out to her.
"Want to talk about it?" He asked, it was a shame the only place they could talk privately was one of the bathrooms. Just about all the other rooms in the large house were taken as bedrooms for two or more family members.
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Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 4:17 am
Obie continued to dab at the spot a moment longer and then tossed the cloth into the sink. Sitting down beside him, she leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry Ne-chan. I'm so happy to be here, and, if I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times, I adore your family and I'm so happy to have met them. But it's kind of painful, you know? To see how it should have been and what I'll never have, and I know that sounds selfish.... but... I'm sorry. Don't worry about it. I'll be alright," she said, taking a deep breath and sitting up to look away from him. "I think I'll just change my shirt," she said softly, rising to her feet. She wasn't going to cry. It was silly to cry about this and she really didn't want to upset him.
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Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 4:27 am
"Obie, wait." He said moving off the bath to sit on the shaggy blue mat on the floor. "Stay here for a moment." He said holding his hand out to her. "Just relax for a moment." He smiled and looked up at her.
"And don't say that you'll never have this. I think that would offend many people. Jess for one, me, my family. You need to stop sitting on the outside. When people welcome you in you should not stay on the outside. Just the same, if you are upset, don't walk away from me when I want to help you."
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Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 4:43 am
Obie stopped and turned slightly to face him. Slowly she slipped her hand into his and sank down to her knees on the floor. As he spoke, she kept her eyes on his and listened to him. When he was finished, she took a deep breath and glanced up at the shower head with a small, mirthless smirk on her lips.
"It's just... if I talk about this, I'm going to cry, and I'm so tired of crying about it," she said, glancing over him. "But you are right, of course," she sniffed lightly and sank down further to the floor as if she just couldn't hold herself up any longer. Crossing her legs, she leaned forward on them.
"I just... don't know what to do anymore Ra," she said softly, twisting one of the blue pieces of yarn on the rug. "I'm happy, I'm surrounded by people who actually give a damn about me, but it still hurts. When will it stop hurting?" she asked, looking up with another small smile though she could feel the tears stinging her eyes.
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Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 4:49 am
"Then cry." He said looking at her. He listened to her speak and slipped his arm around her shoulders to play with her long hair.
"If I could tell you that I would be a rich man." He said with a smirk. "Though, maybe you need some closure. You know earlier, we talked about being kept wondering. Maybe you just need to know for sure."
He siged and rested his head against hers.
"If ... " he hesitated, a bit nervous about his suggestion. "If you wanted to .. to try and find out. I would help you."
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Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 5:03 am
Obie leaned into him and closed her eyes as she felt the first tear roll down her cheek. Oh how she hated crying. Quickly brushing the tear away, she opened her eyes after he made his suggestion.
"I just don't see the point. Shouldn't I be able to get on with my life without ever having to know?" she asked, but knew he was right. Without thinking twice about it, she moved to sit across his lap and bury her face into his shoulder. She needed to be close to him, to feel his warmth against her. Holding him tightly, she took several deep breaths to get a grip on herself and turned her head a little so he could hear her.
"You would really help me?" she asked softly.
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Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 5:09 am
"You should." He said hugging her close to him. "But I think it is clear that it is not working that way."
He continued to stroke her hair soothingly as she held him and rested his chin in her head.
"Of course I'll help you. It's not something you should have to do alone."
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