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I wrote this in 1995

Missing

Today I sit alone lost in my thoughts.
It was so long ago, or maybe it just seem that way.
but just something seems missing.
I once had someone tell me they loved just because.
I once had someone hold me that felt so familiar.
but something just seem missing.
I know I didn't love him or even felt for him.
Even now I still don't drop a tear for him.
but there is something that just seem missing.

Looks like no one's used this thread for a while - a month in fact! Anyway, I was looking through some old files and thought maybe I'd post something from '03 and see how it goes over here... maybe post something more later. I changed the name for posting purposes but everything else is the way it was when I first wrote it.

Hazel

from far away she always looks like something out of a Fra Angelico
big round halo surrounding her head as if bits of ether found their way
into the enormous bottle of hairspray she keeps in her twenty-pound purse
her arrival brings with it the heavy scent of Dorals and muddled vanilla
from the lampe berge she burns in her house both day and night
she'll sit and talk for a while, a bundle of nervous energy
jigging her leg, a cigarette in one hand and a Coke in the other
fifty times before she leaves she'll say the same phrase
"I've gotta get home and cook Fat b*****d his dinner or he'll curse me from here 'til Sunday"
people don't even know her husband's name now, only the epithet
her abrupt departure leaves that smoky sweet smell behind clinging to the furniture
and it hangs there for hours even as she pulls away in her big red Dodge
in the back window, her halo's silhouette

9/30/03

*laughs her butt off at Arianah* Not bad! lol


Well I finally found my old leather journal.. so I thought I'd add an old poem to the thread since I haven't added anything in ages... Here goes:

Anything... 11-22-00


He can make you laugh
He can make you cry
With deep brown eyes
And a perfect smile

Jet black hair
and a heart of gold
So tell me please
Why he's all alone

He can win your love
with but a whisper in your ear
So much so
that you'll always want him near

But he won't let anyone close
to his fragile heart
He couldn't survive
for it to again, be torn apart.

I love him
Why can't he see
Anything is possible
Anything can be

But he's locked himself up
and let's no-one in
For all he knows
is all that's been

His heart has been broken
many times in his past
Time has moved on
But his wounds last

And even though I love him
He still can not see
Anything is possible
Anything can be

He's made me laugh
He's made me cry
I've touched his hair
And kissed his smile

I've fallen in love
with his heart of gold
I want to be with him
So he knows he's not alone

If I tell you I love you
Then will you see
Anything is possible
Anything can be

*quiet applause* Thanks for sharing that with us Noch... heart Even if it was a little late for V-day lol

Random musings

Laces tight and pockets loaded
Grab my sleeves and hook my chains
Don my shades and light one up
i snag my coat and step out into the cold
the wind whips at my hair and tugs at my thoughts
the world asks of me Why do i dress like i do? what possesses me?

I look so dark act so foreboding
Strangers pass me by other stop and stare
eyes swivel to follow me or swerve to avoid me
I live my life the way i want and the world looks at me like im a fool
Dress nicely they say Fit in to the mold

Casually i flip them off and grin
It's my life and no one can change that
Its my choice and no one can stop that
Its my world and only i can live with that

Live and Let live Live and Let Die
This is my world and i choose how it is

i used to write/type my dreams in poetic form. a lot of them are very much over pg13/ under nc17, so i will try to find suitable poems to share with you that meet the rules (i cannot think of the right phrase). few of my poems are not based on dreams. i'll be happy to post more here in the future. i still have a few dreams to record in my journal. i usually write them in prose form, but here is a poem that is not based on a dream. i forget whether this was an old high school assignment or not.:


3.11.2002 (months before i earned my high school degree!!! mrgreen lol )

Silence

Silence can be peaceful,
but only if the mind is peaceful.

For those who are used to sound,
but at peace within,
can tolerate it.

Those who are not at peace need sound
‘cause without it he or she may,
within himself or herself,
lose his or her mind.

The lost mind could spread like an illness.

The body would then be affected.

Then others would be next.

Silence can cause worry
boredom,
fear,
anger,
and possibly insanity.

Silence is not golden always.

Silence is mostly torturous in a way.

Silence is not always peaceful.

It can be mysterious,
troubling,
or be from death.





(btw everyone, just so you know i won a trophy in a writing prose contest in...um...i think 5th grade...long ago and i tied with someone else.)

Darkness holds mysterious comfort
hidden features go unseen
Silence offers lone protection
Show what is not what has been
Arm thyself with shadowed stillness
Give not what they shall expect
Socialization leads to illness in the shadows, self protect
Open only wounds exposed, forgotten ones remain unknown
If through the barrier, one has broken, strive to still remain alone
Venture forth into the masses only when you can return
Let them wear rose colored glasses
the less they know, the less they learn
Keep one foot firmly in darkness, for it is thy closest friend
Only let one scratch the surface
Afterall, it's all pretend