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Rinel_Underwood Vice Captain
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 Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 1:35 am
Calli smiles again, shaking her head. "No offense taken. I'd only ever even become a teacher because he nagged me to teach him some spells. I was never really cut out for it." She replies, then shrugs at his other comment. "Yes, I suppose... though, I'm not sure what I'd do with that free time." She admits.
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Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 1:44 am
Rinel_Underwood Calli smiles again, shaking her head. "No offense taken. I'd only ever even become a teacher because he nagged me to teach him some spells. I was never really cut out for it." She replies, then shrugs at his other comment. "Yes, I suppose... though, I'm not sure what I'd do with that free time." She admits. "there are only a select few who are actually cut out to be teachers. its perfectly normally if one isn't good at it. im positive there are things that your good at that no one else is." turning his head towards her,"during your free time you can just make a life for yourself. do things you enjoy, make a family, whatever makes a persons life."
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Rinel_Underwood Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 1:52 am
Calli winces, instantly frowning at his mention of her making a family. Calli glances away, biting the corner of her lip, then shakes her head to clear it of any unwanted memories that might try and surface before they could do so. Even after this much time, just the idea of trying to find somebody again made her freeze up. Calli sighs. "Ya know... I think I'm still like a fighter in that sense... not sure I know how to make a life, other than watch out for Drake that is." She adds, still looking sullen as she tries not to think about the past. She knew she really needed to move on, but it was easier said than done.
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Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 1:56 am
Rinel_Underwood Calli winces, instantly frowning at his mention of her making a family. Calli glances away, biting the corner of her lip, then shakes her head to clear it of any unwanted memories that might try and surface before they could do so. Even after this much time, just the idea of trying to find somebody again made her freeze up. Calli sighs. "Ya know... I think I'm still like a fighter in that sense... not sure I know how to make a life, other than watch out for Drake that is." She adds, still looking sullen as she tries not to think about the past. raistlin gives up a little laugh,"in our last conversation you mention that your not much of a fighter anymore, are you trying to hide something." he asked concern in his voice. "just remember, its not like me to forget something. no matter the time."
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Rinel_Underwood Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 2:07 am
Calli bites the corner of her lip, hesitating as she thinks about telling him... but the words were still too painful, even to think. Calli sighs, shaking her head. "Even if I have no more energy to go around fighting people just for the heck of it... I still find the idea of settle down and just living life hard, so, in that sense, I am still a fighter... or maybe just a wanderer." She admits. She couldn't bring herself to say what she was hiding though. All she could think, though, was that her attempt at starting a life and family had failed once, and she didn't think she could handle trying again, not yet at least.
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Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 2:21 am
Rinel_Underwood Calli bites the corner of her lip, hesitating as she thinks about telling him... but the words were still too painful, even to think. Calli sighs, shaking her head. "Even if I have no more energy to go around fighting people just for the heck of it... I still find the idea of settle down and just living life hard, so, in that sense, I am still a fighter... or maybe just a wanderer." She admits. She couldn't bring herself to say what she was hiding though. All she could think, though, was that her attempt at starting a life and family had failed once, and she didn't think she could handle trying again, not yet at least. "the only fighter i see in you is the fight to move foward, i can tell in your eyes that something has happended in your life that won't allow you to move forward with your life fully. its your business to know not mine so i wont care to ask. but my thought is what happend has happend and it cant change what can be changed is your future." he said with a reassuring smile.
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Rinel_Underwood Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 2:31 am
Calli sits up, wrapping her arms around her knees as he talks. On any other topic, these words would offer some level of comfort... but not this one. Even if she couldn't change the past, she still missed him too much to just move on. Four years would seem like a long time, like it'd be time to move on, but not from his death. Calli glances at Raistlin, giving a small nod. "I realize that, but it doesn't make it any easier." She replies as she rests her chin on her arms and stares out at the sea without really paying attention to it.
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Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 2:53 am
Rinel_Underwood Calli sits up, wrapping her arms around her knees as he talks. On any other topic, these words would offer some level of comfort... but not this one. Even if she couldn't change the past, she still missed him too much to just move on. Four years would seem like a long time, like it'd be time to move on, but not from his death. Calli glances at Raistlin, giving a small nod. "I realize that, but it doesn't make it any easier." She replies as she rests her chin on her arms and stares out at the sea without really paying attention to it. "easy or not it can be done, no matter the difficulty. i got over avenging my parents death, and that was years upon years of training for to simply forget about it. if i can do that, then eventually in time you will get over yours." he said calmly, trying to ease her sorrow.
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Rinel_Underwood Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 10:34 am
((Ack... so emo. XP .)) Calli wished it was that easy. She wanted to get over it, she really did. She wished sometimes she could just forget about him, or that she'd never have met him, just so it wouldn't hurt now. Getting over her parents death had taken time, but been possible... same with even having to kill her brother. Even getting over the scarring experience of being a prisoner of war had been easier than this. Maybe there had simply been too much to get over in her life, and she was finally maxed out. Calli sighs again and shakes her head, then gets to her feet, brushing the sand off herself as she looks at the ground. "I'm sorry. Thank you for trying to help, and maybe you're right, but..." Calli shakes her head, shutting her eyes. It'd sound too sorrowful and pitiful even for her, to say what she thought, that this type of scar could never fade. Calli turns away, then starts to walk back down the beach, towards the path that'd lead up to the Haven.
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Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 10:20 pm
Rinel_Underwood ((Ack... so emo. XP .)) Calli wished it was that easy. She wanted to get over it, she really did. She wished sometimes she could just forget about him, or that she'd never have met him, just so it wouldn't hurt now. Getting over her parents death had taken time, but been possible... same with even having to kill her brother. Even getting over the scarring experience of being a prisoner of war had been easier than this. Maybe there had simply been too much to get over in her life, and she was finally maxed out. Calli sighs again and shakes her head, then gets to her feet, brushing the sand off herself as she looks at the ground. "I'm sorry. Thank you for trying to help, and maybe you're right, but..." Calli shakes her head, shutting her eyes. It'd sound too sorrowful and pitiful even for her, to say what she thought, that this type of scar could never fade. Calli turns away, then starts to walk back down the beach, towards the path that'd lead up to the Haven. a angry look came over him,"no buts, kensin has taught me giving up will get you nowhere. it will only take you down. no matter how difficult something appears, time will show that it can be overcome. i do not want to hear this from you. you sound like a child taking pitty on themselves and if that is the case i dont feel sorrow for you. i feel sorrow for those you fail but never quit. you have people here who would help you and you ignore that."
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Rinel_Underwood Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 11:02 pm
Calli had not expected this. Freezing, she tenses up, trying to keep in control, but failing. What right did he have to scold her? He didn't know what she'd gone through. Calli spins around, her fists clenched as she narrows her eyes at him. "Look, I know that, but its not that easy, not for me. Maybe for you, but you only lost your parents. You talk as if you know how I might feel. I'll level with you, losing parents is scarring, but try losing your parents to your own brother, you're only other family member, somebody you looked up to. Then try imagining how it would feel, years later, to have him lead an army against your new home, so you're forced to kill him, because, for some reason, you're the only one who can. And, if that wasn't enough, once you'd finally managed to get your life back in order again and those scars have faded, and you find the love of your life and get married, have that person killed by vampire hunters less than half a year later. Half a year! Just when we were thinking about having a kid." Calli's voice falters at this part as she swallows hard, shaking her head and shutting her eyes, tears threatening to pour out. But, no, she refused to cry, not in front of somebody. She didn't even mean to say any of this, but it just poured out, as if his words had flipped a switch, and it wasn't over either. Taking a deep, shaky breath, Calli continues. "Then as if that wasn't enough, have no time for mourning, because you have to fight in another war, but this time, the bad guys capture you and use you as a hostage for a month or two, torturing you whenever your side decides to make any sort of move, and sometimes even when they don't. Eventually, your side saves you, but you almost cost them the war because they never acted, afraid they might get you killed, even though it had resulted in the countless deaths of commoners.... and then, even after all that, without any time to even recover, one day you decide to go out on a walk with your student, and hit a rip in time that takes you who knows how far ahead in the future, meaning you never see any of your friends ever again, never knowing what became of the kingdom you'd served to protect for years. Then you hear good news for once, the person you might have been happy with other than the one that had died is still alive and lives nearby. So you go to visit the person, only to find out that the person's married now." Calli finishes, visibly shaking... with anger, sadness, both? Realizing the last two sentences she'd said, though, Calli blushes bright red, then buries her face in her hands and sinks down to the ground, shaking her head. She couldn't believe everything she'd just said. Her life story in a nutshell, something most people only knew if they'd been apart of it, because she never talked of it... and for good reason. It felt like just retelling it had torn her up again. And now she probably looked absolutely pathetic. She was a great mage and fighter, and now she was sitting in the sand on the verge of tears. Why did people here have to be so damn inquisitive and caring? Couldn't they just let her stay numb, keep running, instead of facing the past?
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Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 11:43 pm
Rinel_Underwood Calli had not expected this. Freezing, she tenses up, trying to keep in control, but failing. What right did he have to scold her? He didn't know what she'd gone through. Calli spins around, her fists clenched as she narrows her eyes at him. "Look, I know that, but its not that easy, not for me. Maybe for you, but you only lost your parents. You talk as if you know how I might feel. I'll level with you, losing parents is scarring, but try losing your parents to your own brother, you're only other family member, somebody you looked up to. Then try imagining how it would feel, years later, to have him lead an army against your new home, so you're forced to kill him, because, for some reason, you're the only one who can. And, if that wasn't enough, once you'd finally managed to get your life back in order again and those scars have faded, and you find the love of your life and get married, have that person killed by vampire hunters less than half a year later. Half a year! Just when we were thinking about having a kid." Calli's voice falters at this part as she swallows hard, shaking her head and shutting her eyes, tears threatening to pour out. But, no, she refused to cry, not in front of somebody. She didn't even mean to say any of this, but it just poured out, as if his words had flipped a switch, and it wasn't over either. Taking a deep, shaky breath, Calli continues. "Then as if that wasn't enough, have no time for mourning, because you have to fight in another war, but this time, the bad guys capture you and use you as a hostage for a month or two, torturing you whenever your side decides to make any sort of move, and sometimes even when they don't. Eventually, your side saves you, but you almost cost them the war because they never acted, afraid they might get you killed, even though it had resulted in the countless deaths of commoners.... and then, even after all that, without any time to even recover, one day you decide to go out on a walk with your student, and hit a rip in time that takes you who knows how far ahead in the future, meaning you never see any of your friends ever again, never knowing what became of the kingdom you'd served to protect for years. Then you hear good news for once, the person you might have been happy with other than the one that had died is still alive and lives nearby. So you go to visit the person, only to find out that the person's married now." Calli finishes, visibly shaking... with anger, sadness, both? Realizing the last two sentences she'd said, though, Calli blushes bright red, then buries her face in her hands and sinks down to the ground, shaking her head. She couldn't believe everything she'd just said. Her life story in a nutshell, something most people only knew if they'd been apart of it, because she never talked of it... and for good reason. It felt like just retelling it had torn her up again. And now she probably looked absolutely pathetic. She was a great mage and fighter, and now she was sitting in the sand on the verge of tears. Why did people here have to be so damn inquisitive and caring? Couldn't they just let her stay numb, keep running, instead of facing the past? staring at her with an unmoving face,"yes, i may not know what some of that is like but did you have to end your parents suffering with your own two hands as i did. i return home from the forest on my farm only to discover that my parents were brutalized to the brink of death. there was no recovery and they were dieing slowly and painfully. their last request to their child of ten was to end that pain. since then i shut my heart and emotions off from the world. i entered the army and i myself became a prisoner of war." tearing off his shirt and revealing a scar extending from one shoulder to the opposite side of the stomach,"and there isn't a day i dont remember that pain. escaping from that place i enlisted in an assassin academy and becoming great friends with a boy there. another trainee there, that was the first time i opened up to the world since i was ten and now i had been around twenty at the time. being sent on a mission with him only to be betrayed by our own teachers and being ambushed. my friend was slaughtered and narrowly escaped myself. that was when i stumbled across the haven." looking deep in her eyes with no emotions at all,"sometimes the best way to get over the past is to face it head on as i did." raistlin though showing no emotion for the matter, however, had never felt so strongly about it. he wanted her out of the gloom whether he had to use shoft words with her or words that would tear her up as long as she got over her past.
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Rinel_Underwood Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2007 12:02 am
Calli couldn't listen to his harsh words any more, and, she didn't want to seem cold, but she really didn't want to hear about his past... because whenever she heard of somebody's else's problems, she then always took them on as her own and tried to help... and she didn't have the energy for that right now. She had come out here to look out at the sea and relax, not face her unfacable past and get depressed. Getting scolded by him was just draining, and she didn't need it. Getting to her feet, Calli doesn't lift her gaze to look at him, then turns around and quickly starts walking away. She knew she was running away again, but didn't much care.
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Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2007 12:30 am
(( eek -ooc: oh..... wow....... burning_eyes ))
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Rurouni Lord Sesshomaru Captain
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Rinel_Underwood Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2007 12:34 am
((Gah, I know. I hate writing out emo scenes! XP Why do I make such scarred characters. xp That's it, next place Calli goes to, she's going to start a food fight or something totally random.))
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