Welcome to Gaia! ::

Everything looks fine. Just for clarification - you would probably have gone to Feral Labs once or twice for physical studies before being told to go directly to the airport, but thats just a minor "FYI" type detail.

Very interesting! The occupation is one I'm usually very weary on - but you seem to have the maturity to handle it well, from what I was reading at least.

I had a few questions - I'm a bit cofused exactly why the FBI is after her. FBI have distinct divions, and none of them cover prostitution rings unless she was SO high-profile she flagged FBI for organized crime. Also most of the time FBI cases have to have crossed state lines.

More realistically, I see her having tangled herself into, perhaps, something more devious. It would seem more pluasible to me, (because trust me...the last people Feral Labs want looking their way isthe FBI), is that maybe she's wnted by the FBI for questioning. Maybe they're trying to bust some major organized crime-Lord, and the FBI knows your character has been "close" with him. It still makes sense she would want to get away it all - because she doesn't want to get tangled in the governments business at all OR forced to testify against a client. She seems like the person who didn't care if her services would be paid with in blood money, as long as she got paid. BUt this way - while the FBI would still be rather peeved to be missing a key witness, its not like their prime directive suddenly got wiped off the face of the nation, which would put them in a frenzy. Do you see what I'm saying? I have a hard time believe that if the FBI were after HER specifically for a crime then they wouldn't take her the island, it would be too much of a security risk.

My only other qualm is her age. They way you describe her, and her experience, 22 seems awfully young. She has the confidence and experience, the way you wrote her, as a older woman. I see her being more about 30 then 20.

Everything looks rather fine



Just a personal note, and this is a reccomendation not a requirement, but ... why graduate from high school at 15? I mean, I don't know how it is in England, but in the states they hardly EVER excellerate kids ahead in grades anymore because of the social/psychological effects its been known to have. Mostly, it can affect development and most school districts find that most kids develop better being put into the Gifted/Talented program than just simply rushed through high school.

Its just a very very common trend in the the oneline RPs I've been saying to make young chartacters which have no real... reason, I suppose, to be so. What would it affect the character to be 26 or 27 as opposed to 23, accept make him seem a bit more believable.

Everything looks fine for the most part. The character and character history sounds fine.

My only concern is the "Bully" concept has been done - Moreau picked his victems.

Now, I'm not saying you have to cut her from have knowing Moreau in high school, but Moreau wouldn't have actively sought her out. Perhaps she was one of Chert's lackeys or something? Not his MAIN bully, but a friend of them?

Then I'm thinking, maybe Feral Labs was hosting AA meetings in one of their clinics and taking their information. If Bethany's name just happened across Moreau's desk through coincidence, then he would probably scoop her up if she seemed otherwise a worthy subject?

And anyway, if she was the main bully, there's no way in hell he would pick something as "nice" as a wolf for her ^_~

So give it some thought, feel free to ask questions if you want. Just needs to work out that little kink and you're good to go.

All looks good so far.