Welcome to Gaia! ::

Sometimes I dream; I dream of the past or at least I -think- it's the past that haunts my dreams. My waking memories lie behind a foggy haze, and I don't understand or remember why I locked them away. Could something so horrible have rocked my life that I had to hide my own history from myself, what happened in the few years that I left Carmia's side. What … could have happened …

More and more, her dreams were plagued by a time where she'd abandoned Caramia, afraid of her feelings, afraid of what her family would think of them. It was hard enough being part kalona, with a vastly proud father that expected her to act the part, to be worthy of being called his child.

Velia awoke from her dreams with a jerk sometime after midnight. A full moon shone through the trees. It looked magical tonight, like the many stars above were sending their joy down in the form of ethereal dust to shower the small family in joy. So why was her heart so heavy? Vel rose slowly, trying not to wake any of her family as she drifted phantom like over the grass out into the night. The moon bathed her in it's cool rich light. The mare stood with her head tilted back and eyes closed it was as if Velia was absorbing the light into her very being. Maybe she was hoping it would illuminate the dark corners of her mind and repel the fog.

It didn't take long for her to be lost to the world, Vel swayed on her hooves, lips moving in a silent to plee to some unknown deity. Tears streamed down her cheeks and dropped to the ground with mute splashes.

In a moment of horror for Vel her mind cleared, flooding back in an inescapable crush of memories and emotions the fog melted.

She had been a young adult when she'd left Carmia behind, so afraid that her father would try to harm the love of her life.

Velia looked back at the large draft mare sleeping peacefully and her heart shattered. How could she ever tell her that there had been another in her life. That somewhere out in this wide world, children … children born of her blood, walked. Their father had been a full blood kalona, one of the few that treated her like she belonged in their race. Some small part of her still had feelings for him, maybe even still loved him, and she wondered where he was. How could she have feelings for two? She was so confused. She had buried these memories deepen in her subconscious, but now she had opened Pandora’s box and they were out strangling her mind and heart.

Feeling confused … defeated … and angry at herself she trudged back to her family, she paused for a moment and looked away and whispered as silent sobs wracked her small body “I don't deserve them ...” she turned to walk away; ...Vally? … come to bed Vally the sweet voice broke through the cloud on her mind.

Her heart lept, and a smile crept to her face, she couldn't deny the love her life ”alright Mia, I'm coming.” Folding herself down Valia got comfortable as her mate wrapped around her and drifted back into sleep. The coming days would not be easy, revealing her feelings .. her secrets would be the hardest thing the half kalona had ever done, but they'd get through it as they had everything else.