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Set Fire To The Rain [BAT23]

Ice Cream And Brownies [REG46]

It felt like everything, his whole life, was slowly fading away, eroding into pieces faster than he could even comprehend.

Themis had followed the call of his asteroid as an escape – the four walls of his apartment living room were becoming more and more suffocating every day, especially with every door and window locked shut. Xavier had wanted to be alone in misery, and he had learned the lesson. Outside of smashing a window in, there would be no way for anyone to come in. And if anyone smashed a window, well, there would need to be explanations. Very good explanations.

But much like he had sought to escape both his lives, now he had sought to escape the prison he had all but made for himself in the process. He could have gone to Bell, he knew that. But no matter how much she said it, he still felt like he was burdening her with his presence, sometimes. Especially in times like this. It was when Xavier did something that he had never done before – powered up from within his own apartment, and then was quickly gone. He didn't even care if anyone, or anything, had even felt him at this point.

The asteroid was.. different than the others times he had been to it. It was oddly alive. It was still barren, but there was life. Pale silver leaves in the tree, ice blue flowers on the vines that had overtaken nearly everything, every nook and cranny, every broken building.

His steps led him right where he always went, as if on instinct – the courtyard was still covered in frost, but the once dead grass at his feet had taken on a frosty green color, and the large tree was made even mightier by leaves, with white blooms, almost like cherry blossoms, falling down in a gentle rain.

Spring had reached Themis at last, it seemed. It was so odd that, until he had seen the buds on the very same tree, he had thought everything all but dead – thought the very course of seasons halted.

The blonde sighed, then sat at the base of that tree, resting his head against his knees. The change of scenery hadn't helped his mood any, it seemed, but at least he was somewhere else. Somewhere truly alone. It was what he had wanted... right ?

To be sure, Themis wasn't certain what it was that he even wanted anymore. It felt like the only thing he had left was Bell, Bellatrix. Everything else was spiralling out of control, out of his reach. His mother hadn't called since the day they'd had that argument on the phone, months ago. Odd that now he missed her, while he previously wanted nothing to do with her anymore. Even more cutting was his father, who while still present, knew very well that his only son, the son he had raised nearly on his own, was hiding something from him. Something he simply could not say. Not without endangering him.

Could he ? Things would simply be so much easier if he could share in that secret. It would be easier if Damian Avery knew exactly why his son showed up with bruises, cuts, and broken bones, and was not left to wonder exactly what Xavier was hiding from him.

Then it was the matter of his friends. He hadn't seen the non-senshi ones in what seemed like eons. They must have given up on him, figured he had forgotten about them and moved on, which made his heart drop. He hadn't forgotten about them. It was just... being a senshi had taken over everything in his life. There had been nothing that hadn't been affected. His family. His relationships. His work. School. Even his music, something he loved so dearly with every cell of his being, had more or less fallen to the wayside.

And for what ? For confusing revelations, for violence, torture, war ? For the revelation that his cousin had probably tortured others ? That Bell had killed someone, and that it had nearly broken her ? That he felt more distant to others he had loved each and every day ? In his own pain, he was becoming more and more blind to the pain of others around him. He was effectively out of the loop, and to be honest, he wasn't even sure if he cared anymore.

What what little good he did – defeat youma, save civilians, give awkward pointers to the new senshi he met – enough to out-weight everything else ?

When would being Sailor Themis would break him so completely and utterly that there would be no bouncing back from it ? It seemed inevitable at this point. He was headed right for a head-on collision and he wasn't sure how to stop it. Or if he even wanted to stop it. It seemed too late for that – too much lost already.

Being a senshi seemed like a curse, not a bright, shining duty or responsibility. A curse that was slowly stealing away everything he had. And yet, if he hadn't been a senshi, if he had never met ********* that night and became Sailor Themis, would he have called Bell before Halloween ? Would they have gone to the halloween party, where his secret had been revealed to her ?

Would she have been here at the hospital, after he had woken up ?

Would he have confessed his feelings to her on the rooftop of his apartment building, one chilly November night ?

Would he have her by his side, the one person he felt was even more precious than his own life ? The one person he always feared would one day give up on him ?

There were so many questions, and little to no answers. Perhaps it was what bothered him the most. He didn't even know why he was bothering to do all of this, to put himself through everything. He might be able to become the person he had used to be if he just threw the damn pen and cellphone into some dark drawer he never thought to open, hoarded trinkets among hoarded trinkets. But now that he knew... It seemed like there would be no ignoring it. Others wouldn't let him ignore it.

The white blossom fell, carried by the wind, and Sailor Themis sighed once more. He felt so numb and so broken that he wasn't even sure the pieces could be glued back together again.

Only he had the power to fix his life, but Xavier Avery simply did not know how to, or even where to begin.

Sailor Themis had seen his world break once – it seemed like watching the same happen again was now inevitable.

Repeat And Fade [BAT26]

It's Friday, Friday ! [PROM]

“Xavier Taylor Avery, will you tell me in what kind of mess you got yourself into, now ?!”

This was about as much as a warm welcome as Xavier had expected. His relationship with his father had grown to become more and more tense as the months passed by – or more accurately, as the injuries added up. He could understand his father's irritation. He had never been a troublesome kid, before this mysterious string of hospital stays and bruises. Before the lies started pilling up.

The sight of a rather irritated Damian was almost enough to send Xavier running off, his broken glasses still in his outstretched hands. He didn't make enough money to cover both these and his apartment, so right back to daddy he went. What else could he do ? Go to Bell ? That would have been even more embarrassing.

But this also had a purpose. The glasses were a catalyst, but something major would happen here tonight. For better or for worse, his father was going to learn the truth.

After months of suffering, Xavier was done running. He was staring at the floor, and it wouldn't do – he raised his head and looked at his father straight on, pale blue eyes focused on his barely-taller father. “I fought a monster. They fell off a rooftop and landed in an alley.”

No more running. No more lies. Only the truth. “Xavier... Havn't you at least thought of a better excuse than this ? You know the monster aren’t real.” Damian was being rather terse, but there was worry under all this. It was rare that his father got truly, genuinely angry, but he had been toeing that line since mid-october.

But that was it. No more lies. It was too late to backpedal now, even if the temptation was there. “No, dad. The monsters are real. They're not hoaxes. They're not things made up by attention whores. They are very real and very much there. They are called youma.”

“...Okay. Right. Youma.” Damian was rubbing the bridge of his nose. Xavier could understand the headache. “And so you were fighting this youma because ?”

“Because I had to save someone. Because I had the power to do so.”

Damian was silent. He knew his son. He knew that Xavier was unable to look at someone head on while lying. Xavier's gaze had not wavered. Not once. “Xavier... ? What are you talking about ?”

This was, perhaps, the hardest part. And he knew there was perhaps only one way to get the point across. This was where things could go very, very wrong. “I protect people from youma because I can. The terrorists are very much real, dad... But not really terrorists. Senshi, and Negaverse. The negaverse sends youma, and I dust them. Because I am a senshi. Because I am sick of watching people get hurt.”

“Xavier, you're not making sense.”

“I know.” He pulled his henshin pen out of his pocket. “But I will in a second.” Deep breaths, Xavier. Deep breaths...

“Themis Asteroid Power, Make-Up !”

And that was that. The cat was out of the bag, and after his transformation was done, Super Sailor Themis was left staring at his wide-eyed father, holding what little breath was even left.

“Xavier... ?” Was the tentative question. Themis nodded in answer. It was the glamour, he knew – even if his father had seen it, it was probably hard to connect that the new being in front of him was, indeed, his son.

“My god... So you are a terrorist ?”

“Im not a terrorist.” The answer was a little annoyed, but he sighed. “I am... a fighter. A defender. I do my best to keep everyone safe.”

“So your bruises... ?”

“Fights. Not always the monsters.”

“Your arm ?”

“Halloween Ball gone very, very wrong. The cake was a lie.”

Damian didn't get the reference. “Last February ?”

“Fighting for the very damn core of Planet Earth.” Fun stuff. In a flash, Themis was Xavier again. No use standing here drawing every damn negaverse agents around straight to his father's house.

“What ?”

“You heard that right.” Xavier sighed. “Dad... look. The fact is that im fighting. Im getting in trouble. But I believe this is for the best.” Most days, anyway. “Im sorry I had to lie to you. I didn't want to, but I didn't want you to get caught up in this, either.”

“So you...” Damian swallowed. Hard. “How long have you been doing this ?”

“Mid-october.”

“Just... damn it, Xavier. Are you really serious ?”

“I am.” Xavier's gaze was still level. “Im sick of lying.”

“Good god.” Damian didn't understand – he hadn't expected him to – but at least now he knew the truth. And it was like something heavy and crushing had been lifted from him. “What about Bell ?”

No, he couldn't go there. He couldn't say that Bell was a senshi. “She knows.” Was the simple answer. “She understands.”

“Well...” Damian looked like he was about to say something. “Well, then.” He sighed. “Come on, you were due for an eye exam, right ? Just.... god damnit, Xavier. Don't get yourself killed.”

It was so raw, so silly, and yet at the same time, so simple, as he was ushered outside and into his father's car. “I don't plan on it, dad.”

“I want the truth from now on. If you end up in the hospital again, call me before they do.”

“Yes, dad.”

So strange, and yet so simple. The cat was out of the bag, and while what he had just revealed his father might not truly sink in for quite some time, it was one step taken.

A Second To Breathe [REG48]