Welcome to Gaia! ::

((I dunno... I know a lot of people don't like him though because of the soul purpose of him taking me away to protect me...))

"Yeah.. it would be better if you just forgot about it.. Just thinking about current issues drives me into somewhat of dispersion. And if I didn't live through my childhood, I would know what I know and I would be so lost..." She turned over on her side, facing away from him. Her past usually didn't make her that sentimental, but recent memories did. She was surprised how fast she had been able to recover though.. But knew that if she was ever faced with seeing him, she would crack in many different ways.

((Wait, just found out that it was a broadcast... Nevermind stare ))

"It was only one man... one man that I seemed to fall for too deeply just to be crushed... He didn't trust me and was fed the wrong information. Everyone was." She turned back over, her face being somewhat hidden near his chest. "I hate being me sometimes. I still feel like I rub people the wrong way and that my life is one big lie because of all the stupid stuff. I've never had feelings for a man the way I did for him, then I was just suppose to forget about them, take them back and give them to someone else." She seemed very distracted at the time, her standing up and walking a few steps from where they were lying. "I want to forget about him, but I will always have that deep rage for what he did to me.. And the funny thing is, he doesn't even know my feelings.. Why? Because the poor b*****d doesn't give a flying fruit about my feelings anymore." Letingt out a slight scream, no one really knew of her feelings at the time, but Mordrid had an idea now, maybe really not even sure what she was talking about though. Falling to a squatting possession, she cupped her face and let a few tears out, her face red with anger and embarrassment.

She didn't know what to say, but what came out seemed a bit rude from her perspective, "I don't know what to say. If I were to say something like, 'No, I want to be with you more than anything' I would make myself look desperate. Even though those are my mushy feelings, it's the truth. Don't take this the wrong way, but every man the I know somehow finds a way to hurt me in the easiest way possible. I'm just scared for myself partly because I'm being selfish and don't want to go through another time of being a lard, and then the other half is because I hate to see other people look at me, thinking that I was once some respectable person, and now just a person that has been lost to petty feelings and can't be saved from anything now. In the past few months I have managed to keep myself alive, getting by by doing nothing. When you came along I thought I was just completely insane and had nothing left going for me." She just sat there now, trying so hard not to make an even bigger fool than what she had already done. "You want to know what I'm really afraid of? I'm afraid of these feelings that are developing for you.. No matter what love seems to screw me over." She really wasn't even listening to herself talk.. just speaking what she thought in a daze of jabber.

"I could never leave something that I seem so happy with... It is usually the other way around." She grabbed one of his hands as he backed away, turning around and sitting on her legs. "I just don't want to lose you like I lost my mother, father, most of my friends, and.. and Jay." Letting out a sigh, she could only think about that stupid letter Jay had given to her. All it left for her was a body with no feeling for weeks and then a lonely girl furious with a man that didn't have enough balls to tell her the situation to her face, but through a dumb letter, not even really explaining dittly squat, then never mentioning anything about her again. Literally falling backwards on her back, she let out a small laugh, "I guess I just live a life that I can't handle." She groaned some thinking that all her mumbo jumbo would just steer Mordrid to where he would never want to see her pathetic being again.

She had never been faced with the problems she had at the time. His kiss though, seemed to abolish so many of them.. Just with a simple pressing of lips together. Her arms wrapped around his neck area, her hug light, kisses leading on. It was funny how he made her feel, but she was more than glad that she could actually feel it.

"I don't.. think you would have to worry about my feelings developing into it." Her voice was low, almost like she was whispering. She had started to pull him back down, her arms wrapped around him, her snuggling into his shoulder bone. ((sorry it's so short. I was using the b.r. and wanted to post something semi fast.))

Her face was a bit flushed, heart racing faster than she could ever remember "I think I may have an idea." She smiled, her kissing him with a slight amount of force. The moment couldn't compare to anything. It seemed all so right to just be happening, luck playing a huge roll with her. At the time, all she could do was smile, the point of the previous conversation a mute factor in the role just then.