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0SAMURAI

PostPosted: Wed May 19, 2010 9:44 pm


Luo1304
@Orchid: Um, I'll let Beatriz finish critiquing your custom weapon since I'm back now and she was working with you.

@Jade: I'll let Orchid finish with you as well as far as your poison's go.

@Remedy: DENIED. I wouldn't want anyone under chuunin with a weapon like this, and that's excluding the changes I would make to it. In a sense this is fairly overpowered for someone of your rank, and potentially chuunin as well (although I would let it slide depending on your RPC.). If you want to find out what changes those are, feel free to PM me so I can tell you what I would change if I were
you and then reapply if you want.


Get my PM?
PostPosted: Wed May 19, 2010 10:17 pm


User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.

Name of weapon: Neo Masmune
Who owns the weapon: Zin Naga Torjiro
Where it was found/Who made it: It was given to Zin by his grandfather,Zukia Tojiro. Since Zin can't retain his father's blade the Kusagi Sword,he gave Zin this powerful blade. It is a move based off his Zukia's sword,better known as the Heavenly Masamune;the longest sword known to man.
The Range of the weapon: The range of two ninjato's.
Weakness: The weakness to this power is fairly simple. The blade can only absorb jutsu's that are chakra oriented,and are of the user's level. Meaning,if the attacker uses an attack that is over the level of the user,the blade will break. Neo Masamune is only as strong as the user. Another personal weakness of this move is that Zin cannot perform Shukuchi using this blade;mostly because the blade is too long to attack with high speeds.
Description: The Neo Masamune has rather interesting abilities of absorbtion and retaliation. Meaning the blade is normal until it hit's items or jutsu's that are chakra based. For example,say someone attacked Zin with a Suiton attack;since there is chakra in the water that is charging at him,he would simply have to swipe through the water and remove it's 'bite' of the technique.Making the water be like a simple splash to the face. Then,the blade will 'retailiate' and double the striking power using the chakra it absorbed. For example,the blade took the power of the Suiton water attack which is of Academy level. Then,Zin would strike back with a higher power of a Genin level strike from the blade's strength, added to the power of Zin's strength normally. Another example is,if someone used a Katon leveled at a Jounin level,in which Zin through this example is also a Jounin. By absorbing the flames in the blade,Zin's attack would be of Sanin level because of the power of the blade,added to Zin's Taijutsu strength at that level. But as said before,the blade is only as strong as it's master. The user can only absorb the technique for ONE post. Any more posts of absorbtion will break the weapon.

Special Note:The last special attribite is the blade is faithful to those of the Naga bloodline. Only those of this bloodline can wield this blade;any other hands would be engulfed in white flames.
Rp Sample: ( Coming Soon,but you can check what I have so far.)

Panthers7
Crew


Orchid Moon

PostPosted: Wed May 19, 2010 10:28 pm


Luo1304
@Orchid: Um, I'll let Beatriz finish critiquing your custom weapon since I'm back now and she was working with you.

@Jade: I'll let Orchid finish with you as well as far as your poison's go.

@Remedy: DENIED. I wouldn't want anyone under chuunin with a weapon like this, and that's excluding the changes I would make to it. In a sense this is fairly overpowered for someone of your rank, and potentially chuunin as well (although I would let it slide depending on your RPC.). If you want to find out what changes those are, feel free to PM me so I can tell you what I would change if I were
you and then reapply if you want.

Lol >.> im left in charge of the poisons >.< lol probably cause of my awesome poison i made lol

>.< realy i dont see a problem with the poisons but she could of made them a little better ^^ but i like the ideas behind them
PostPosted: Wed May 19, 2010 10:30 pm


@Orchid:

1- If it follows the basis of that jutsu, you could have said it is based on that jutsu but molded into the form of a blade. Alright

2- When you add fire, add the ninjutsu blades aswell, since the sword is based on the Moku no Yoroi, that can be penetrated by ninjutsu blades your sword is also vulnerable to those blades. Add those weaknesses and it will be alright.

3- It absorbs the properties of the poison? Nice, but it can't be an everlasting poison. With each hit the poison on the blade would be reduced because it would remain on the wound or object it strikes and infect it. The poison isn't infinite since it came from a source that is finite: the vial, therefore, it can't last forever while you attack, unless the attack doesn't hit.

4- Alright.

5- If it doesn't matter where they are cut then don't put a fixed area for each stage because as you said, the poison travels not teletransports. Saying it spreads to 1/3 of one's body each stage would be better don't you think?
A lethal poison that kills in 15 post you say. It is a lethal poison, yours isn't one though. I didn't say blind for 15 posts, I said 5 is too much, 3 posts of full blindness, when you aren't someone used to being blind is already a big disadvantage. 3 full blindness posts is alright, 4 we can discuss but 5 denied.

6- Mokuton Hidden Spikes: At first nothing wrong with it, but as you said the spikes would have the same poison of the blade I found something wrong. The poison isn't infinite, if the spikes would have poison then they would need to spend poison from a source.

7- Mokuton Explosion: Same from the first jutsu, the poison on the senbon would have to come from a source that is finite.

The biggest problem is not the wood having poison, but the "everlasting poison" that can become an infinite amount of poison when used by those jutsus and normal attacks. A good way to solve that question would be put an amount of "charges" on the sword when you apply the poison. Each attack that succesfully hits someone would spend 1 charge for example, while a jutsu would spend 3. That way the poison wouldn't need to be applied again untill the number of "charges" reach 0. Got it? I know you probably want to kill me because I found problems with your weapon and I don't blame you but I'm just trying to make it fair so other people won't say it is over powered.

Beatriz-chan

Noble Warlord


Orchid Moon

PostPosted: Wed May 19, 2010 10:40 pm


1. Ok i can add that

2. blades are fine ill add that to ^^

3. ill think of a set amount of charges (like the charges idea)

5. Saying it spreads to 1/3 of the body but i would like to know what will be affected not have the other person make up where they feel pain seeing how i created the poison you know >.>
Ill also do 3 posts of blindness thats fine ^^

6. read 3

7. read 3

So ill make up a set ammount of charges... And the charges only get used if i hit the person not a weapon or something right?

ill also make a set amount of charges for non wood weapons ^^

and im not mad lol you make a good point >.< lol
PostPosted: Wed May 19, 2010 10:46 pm


Orchid Moon
1. Ok i can add that

2. blades are fine ill add that to ^^

3. ill think of a set amount of charges (like the charges idea)

5. Saying it spreads to 1/3 of the body but i would like to know what will be affected not have the other person make up where they feel pain seeing how i created the poison you know >.>
Ill also do 3 posts of blindness thats fine ^^

6. read 3

7. read 3

So ill make up a set ammount of charges... And the charges only get used if i hit the person not a weapon or something right?

ill also make a set amount of charges for non wood weapons ^^

and im not mad lol you make a good point >.< lol

5- The person wouldn't be able to make up, just use common sense. Like, if you cut someone's hand with the poisoned sword, once it begins to spread, it would spread 1/3 of the body from the initial point: the wound on the hand. That way, multiple attacks that land wouldn't poison an area that is already poisoned, but the area that isn't poisoned that is closer to the wound. A wound on a hand and on a foot, instead of following the same way when spreading the poison, would spread across the body from different directions towards different directions and cover a bigger area with the poison faster than if it had fixed places to be infected first.

When you are done with the charges, I will check it, if the number is okay it will probably be approved right away.

Beatriz-chan

Noble Warlord


Orchid Moon

PostPosted: Wed May 19, 2010 10:54 pm


em i was thinking of 15 charges cause 15 posts to make but then that would mean 5 jutsus and its gone cause im setting charges at 3 >.< so em... maybe like 18 charges so 6 jutsus to make it even? that sound ok? and 10 charges for a regular blade cause the woods not holding onto the poison?
PostPosted: Wed May 19, 2010 10:58 pm


@Cain: As Orchid said, your weapon doesn't have any special ability so I don't see a reason for it to need to be posted here. But I will check it anyway.

1- You say what it does, the range, some weaknesses but you don't say what material is the staff made of. Depending on the material, it would have more weaknesses than you posted. Steel staff for example would be vulnerable to lightning and heat in general. Wood, fire instead of simply heat, lightning and blades. Post what the staff is made of and weaknesses that would come along because of the material.

2- Just a suggestion: since you already posted here, take some time and think of a special ability for your weapon, it wouldn't be waste of time thinking about something that would be helpful.

Beatriz-chan

Noble Warlord


Beatriz-chan

Noble Warlord

PostPosted: Wed May 19, 2010 11:00 pm


Orchid Moon
em i was thinking of 15 charges cause 15 posts to make but then that would mean 5 jutsus and its gone cause im setting charges at 3 >.< so em... maybe like 18 charges so 6 jutsus to make it even? that sound ok? and 10 charges for a regular blade cause the woods not holding onto the poison?

Alright, update your weapon post and it is approved.
PostPosted: Wed May 19, 2010 11:03 pm


Updated and thank you lol i was going to make a giant like 3 page rp sample cause of everything that's in it but u saved me tons of trouble i thank you very much lol

edit: took out (unless weapon is made of Mokuton wood the poison needs to be reapplied after 10 posts) to avoid confusion ^^

Orchid Moon


Panthers7
Crew

PostPosted: Wed May 19, 2010 11:09 pm


(( Edited. Cleaned up my messiness >.<))
PostPosted: Wed May 19, 2010 11:27 pm


opps forgot to edit the poison part, working on that atm

edit: changed it to 1/4 per stage cause the first 4 stages i had it set to spread >.< not the first 3

also additional cuts wont speed it up >.< cause i think thats fast enough lol

Orchid Moon


Beatriz-chan

Noble Warlord

PostPosted: Wed May 19, 2010 11:27 pm


Rules:
1. Must have a Description of 10 sentences or more.
2. YOU MUST PUT WEAKNESS DOWN!
3. No putting that your weapon can cut through every other weapon or something to that manner or that it's unbreakable
4. We need to know what is does or it will be denied without a second thought
5. there will be no weapon that can absorb chakra or reflect chakra
6. Provide a DETAILED rp sample with your post.

@Panthers: I don't know if your weapon can be accepted since the 5th rule says that the chakra can't be absorbed or reflected, what seems to be the base of your sword's power.
PostPosted: Wed May 19, 2010 11:34 pm


@Orchid: Alright, lol 1/4, 2/4, 3/4 and 1/3?

Beatriz-chan

Noble Warlord

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