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 Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 8:59 am
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Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 9:19 am
Sod is squares of pre-cut grass that you can buy if you can't seem to start a lawn of your own. ^.^ You put in on your wet dirt *green side up!* and then you water it and fertalize it, and keep watering it, and it will eventually become a really nice lawn. 3nodding
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Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 1:00 pm
Geba_00 Sod is squares of pre-cut grass that you can buy if you can't seem to start a lawn of your own. ^.^ You put in on your wet dirt *green side up!* and then you water it and fertalize it, and keep watering it, and it will eventually become a really nice lawn. 3nodding lol...i just got it you said they were laying it across the street, and i kept wondering why they were putting ON the street and not in a yard lol sweatdrop many people have told me i should be blonde sweatdrop many, many, people >.< ...even strangers.... xd Wanna hear a dirty joke? ninja a cow jumped into a mud puddle! hahaha! blaugh
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Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 1:17 pm
Dirty joke: Bobby jumped in the mud.
Clean joke: Bobby took a bath with bubbles.
Dirty joke: Bubbles is his girlfriend.
With a name like bubbles she has to be blonde.
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Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 5:53 pm
Banditman.EXE Dirty joke: Bobby jumped in the mud. Clean joke: Bobby took a bath with bubbles. Dirty joke: Bubbles is his girlfriend. With a name like bubbles she has to be blonde. \ >.< Just because of that, I will search the daycares of america for a none-blond bubbles. ninja
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Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 5:55 pm
GraveyardSinger Geba_00 Sod is squares of pre-cut grass that you can buy if you can't seem to start a lawn of your own. ^.^ You put in on your wet dirt *green side up!* and then you water it and fertalize it, and keep watering it, and it will eventually become a really nice lawn. 3nodding lol...i just got it you said they were laying it across the street, and i kept wondering why they were putting ON the street and not in a yard lol sweatdrop many people have told me i should be blonde sweatdrop many, many, people >.< ...even strangers.... xd Wanna hear a dirty joke? ninja a cow jumped into a mud puddle! hahaha! blaugh People tell me that too. ^.^ *giggles at the joke*
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Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 6:11 pm
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
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Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 6:16 pm
*dying* so simple...yet so rewarding.
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Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 6:30 pm
Q: What has 132 legs and 8 teeth?
A: The front row of a Garth Brooks concert!
40 Things Never Said By Southerners
40. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen.
39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
38. Duct tape won't fix that.
37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
33. You can't feed that to the dog.
32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
30. Wrasslin's fake.
29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
28. We're vegetarians.
27. Do you think my gut is too big?
26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
24. Who's Richard Petty?
23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.
20. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today.
19. Trim the fat off that steak.
18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
17. The tires on that truck are too big.
16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
15. I've got it all on the C drive.
14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
13. Would you like your salmon poached or broiled?
12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
09. Checkmate.
08. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
07. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
06. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
05. I don't have a favorite college team.
04. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
03. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
01. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight.
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Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 6:33 pm
A Letter From A Redneck Mother To Her Son
Dear Son,
I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. Won't be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them for their house, so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't seen 'em since.
It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time.
The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didn't make the final payment on Grandma's funderal bill, up she comes.
About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether if it is a boy or a girl so don't know if you are an Aunt or Uncle.
Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safery. The other 2 drowned. They couldn't get the tail gate down.
Not much more news this time. Nothing much happened. If you don't get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one.
Love, Ma
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Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 6:38 pm
LMAO!
omg
so funny
ok.. well- this isn't a joke, well it is, but i ALWAYS love reading it..so here goes:
Never Lie to your Mother
John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate Julie was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate, and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I can't find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote:
Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Love, John
Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read:
Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom.
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Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 7:03 pm
o.o
*can't help but laugh* omgoodness....how......funny! whee
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Posted: Sun Feb 06, 2005 5:28 am
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Posted: Wed Feb 09, 2005 2:32 pm
lol!!! thats great ^.^
Here's one i just got from my dad:
My teenaged niece was nervous as she took the wheel for her first
driving lesson. As she was pulling out of the parking lot, the
instructor said, "Turn left here, and don't forget to let the
people behind you know what you're doing."
She turned to the students sitting in the back seat and
announced, "I'm going left."
i just finished behind the wheel so i found it funny xd
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Posted: Wed Feb 09, 2005 2:35 pm
GraveyardSinger lol!!! thats great ^.^ Here's one i just got from my dad: My teenaged niece was nervous as she took the wheel for her first driving lesson. As she was pulling out of the parking lot, the instructor said, "Turn left here, and don't forget to let the people behind you know what you're doing." She turned to the students sitting in the back seat and announced, "I'm going left." i just finished behind the wheel so i found it funny xd scary. xp
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