Welcome to Gaia! ::

Sapphire groaned a bit. "Depends on what he has with him. His favorites tend to be invisibility, telekenisis, fire blasts, electricity, and an acedic aura that can melt just about anything. He has more, but those are his usuals." she replied, then thought a moment. "He gets the powers from small stones that he's placed in small special machines that he wears. Rings, watch, belt, cufflings, whatever. Outside interfearance doesn't usually effect them, it's easier to try and rip them off or try and break them. Though he rarely lets anything get close enough to him to do such a thing." she said, then paused a moment. "And...he can't really be killed, so knocking him out would be the most you can hope for."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night," Deadpool said brightly, "With the Batman thing, I mean. And by the way, the interception of the information was Fury's screw up. Not mine. As is evidenced by the fact that I was paid lots and lots of money.... Which I blew on pimped-out speakers for a car I don't even own... and an exotic fish tank... but let's leave that bit out of this." He paused, then started spinning the guns again, but much, much faster. "And I am sorry to ruin your fun. Luckily, the knowledge that I won't ever be able to really kill you doesn't bother me at all. You really probably can't die by the hand of anyone but Batman... Which means that I can keep coming back and almost killing you. You know. Tossing you into smokestacks, throwing you off of cliffs. Maiming you with whatever sharp implements I decide are fun that day. Fun, happy, giggle-inducing stuff. You'll never die, but I'm an easygoing man; torturing you for the rest of the RP is perfectly alright with me." He winked, suddenly a singularly disturbing affectation, and then disappeared.

((Hmmm.... Larry? xd I've actually used my name multiple times in the RP. Fun stuff.))

"Oh, that's right," a voice mused from directly behind him, "The speakers and fish were the time before that. My mistake." The zombies... How on earth had he forgotten those? Ugh. Yet another reason why Osborn was going to eat lead, as if he needed another reason. A gun fired with several sharp cracks, and three bullets buried themselves in the wall less than an inch away from the Joker's head on each side. "Problems?" Deadpool's voice asked, this time from a completely different location. "No girlfriend, the Bat's busy with his plotting of his oh so brilliant plans, and the symbiote is indisposed. It's just you and me, good buddy. Should I start with your kneecaps? I've always been partial to kneecaps, I admit. Or maybe your hands? Your card tricks would definitely be more difficult. Hmmmm, choices..." The scariest thing about this monologue was the completely unthreatening tone in which it was delivered; he might have been discussing the different types of calorie-laden snack foods he was partial to. "Hey! Why not both?"

((That actually does not surprise me at all. ^_^))

"If you insist!" There was a loud crack, and out went Joker's left kneecap. "Specificity is your friend. Would you like me to lend you a bullet for you to put in your gun?" he asked, condescending to the point of sounding like he was just kidding. Of course he wasn't. At all. "Gosh, this is fun. Your Batman needs to loosen up."

((Hope the hit is okay; I couldn't think of anything he'd be able to do to block it. If you were going to do something, I'll edit.))

Someone snapped their fingers. "Shucks. Caught on in one. Hmmm... Well... Just shooting you isn't very much fun, is it?" He appeared briefly, about a meter away, and set the bullet down. It was just outside the Joker's reach... Or maybe just inside of it, if he really stretched. He grinned, twirled his guns, and said, "There. I herby gift this bullet to you. Congrats, and many good wishes to the happy couple." Then he vanished again, and his voice came from somewhere on one of the rooftops. "See, this is the problem. You're always pushing Batman, pushing pushing pushing, trying to make him just as craaazy as you are, and it became habit. You've pushed Superman, messed with the Flash, and left Wonder Woman teetering on the edge of a major mental breakdown. So when you came across someone who was already a little... Uh... Creative in his interpretation of reality, you didn't even bother to think about what would happen when you pushed him. Did you? Actually," he added, "I'd say I'm fairly close to what you'd get if you ever did manage to push your loverboy over the edge... But he probably wouldn't joke as much. Me without the funny... Not a pretty picture. You might want to think about that for a bit... Except that we both know you won't. Ah, well."

"It is difficult, isn't it?" Deadpool's voice said absently. "In contrast, imagining you without the funny is pretty easy. I wonder why that is? ... Maybe because it was never there to begin with? Hm...." He paused, then continued. "Anyway, the basic rule of people is that they're breakable. Very breakable. But you already know that. If they aren't breakable, that just means they're already shattered into little bitty pieces that cut other people's feet, because NOBODY bothers to sweep the damn floor around here! ...Uh... What was I... talking.... Oh, yeah. People." There was another pause. "Actually, I'm not sure why I brought that up. I should probably just shoot your other knee and save us both some time." He yawned.

Deadpool just blinked at him. "Riiiight. See, actually, that's a common misconception. I play the odds, sure, but I'm not going to give myself a handicap just so that you can feel better about yourself. I have two guns full of bullets and perfect aim. Why on earth would I get rid of one of my advantages? If you can come up with a better reason, I'll think about it." He blinked again, and then grinned. "Oh, I remembered what my point was! People. So if Batman hasn't broken yet, with all the stuff you've pulled-- and believe me, you've pulled even more than you know you have (I was hanging out in his cave, and no one was paying attention to me for a bit, so I snooped)-- the only logical explanation is that he's already broken. Therefore, the way you obsessively try to break him is about as dumb as the way you just tried to push me over the edge; I'm already there, baby. He's already as messed up as he can possibly get (baring crazy supernatural interference, of course), so trying to screw him up only serves to annoy the people that both of you have to deal with." There was another crack, and the Joker's left shoulder was suddenly in quite a lot of pain.

"Oh, look who's up!" Deadpool said happily, "The girlfriend joins the fight once again! Will she be able to use her powerful magic to save the new man in her life? Will their love overcome the odds? God, the suspense is just too much!" He paused, then sighed. "So, now the question becomes, should I stay and shoot holes in the clown-- which is getting kind of boring-- or should I try to beat up the girl?... Of course, she was actually pretty nice to poor, sensitive little me... Plus hot... Hm.... I guess I could just go bug Batman and Sapphire..." He trailed off.