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Why no anyone listen to me? gonk - Entry #13

All my life I've complained about people not listening to me.

I remember when I was little, and my friend's dad invited me and my friend Chris to go with him and his son, Anthony, to an Aquarium in Brooklyn, New York. Some guy came up and asked Anthony's Dad "Do you know how to get to ze underground?" He said it in a British Accent, so I assumed he was a tourist and had a seperate lingo for other words.

I said "Do you mean the subway?"

Anthony's dad kept ignoring me and saying "You mean the shark area? Oh, well you go --"

THe guy would interupt "No, the underground"

I kept pulling at Anthony's Dad's arm saying "maybe he means the subway..."

But he kept ignoring me and asking "You mean the cafeteria area?"

Then finally I said outloud to the guy "Do you mean the subway, as in trains?"

The guy's eyes lit up "YES YES!!! THE TRAINS!! Do you know how to get to the underground trains?"

Anthony's Dad goes "Oh!! You mean the subway! Well, you go to..."

I just rolled my eyes while Anthony and Chris laughed at how I kept saying that over and over.

So anyways, many times in life, I've said things that would help out a situation, but no one would listen. Then what I said would come true, and everyone would act like I never said anything. stare

So everyday, I've been telling my mom to keep the light in my room upstairs on because it's pitchblack up there if it's not. She kept poking at me saying "Are you scared of the dark? You don't have to be! You're 10 years old!" (By the way, I've been telling her to keep the light on for 4 years if you haven't noticed. gonk )

It's only a 10 Watt lightbulb. It's got the power of a night-light! xd So it wouldn't effect the Electricity bill to much to keep it up. Maybe it'll add a nickel to the bill.

Yesterday, I go up stairs, and the lights are off. So if I closed my eyes and walked up the stairs, things wouldn't look much different. xd

I find my way to my room by holding the walls, then try and find the light switch. Well, like I said to my mom, I wind up knocking down a glass lava lamp onto my foot with my elbow, falling over onto the floor, and not knowing 1) Where I am on the floor 2) If it's broken 3) If I'm even in my room, or possibly in my sister's room 4) WHY IS THE LIGHT OFF?!?!? scream

FOrtunately, it didn't brake. -.-; But besides the point....MY MOM DIDN'T LISTEN TO ME!!! gonk

So I put a giant piece of paper over the switch saying "DON'T TURN IT OFF!!! EVER!!!" I go up the stairs this morning....the lights off. gonk She just went around the paper!!! stressed

WHY DOESN'T ANYONE LISTEN TO ME?!?!?!

xd gonk Don't you just hate it when people do that? gonk

Lol. Even worth is when the "I told ya so!" stage hasn't come, but you know it will.

Like, there's a giant crack along the side of my wall in my room, and I keep telling my dad to plaster-it-up so that it won't cave in on me...he hasn't plsatered it up yet, and it hasn't caved yet...so I can only guess when it's gonna happen! gonk

well it would be a shame if this made you a homophobe. I am bi sexual and there is nothing wronge with being gay (not saying that you are gay just saying there is nothing wronge with it) blaugh . No matter whereyou go or what you do I have found that someone is going to call you gay, no matter. So really there is nothing you can do. I know with my family Iam very comfortable to do all sort of weird things that many people would consider gay. My family doesnt call me gay though. Also I have come to realize that obviously not every family is like my own xd . I think they just probabaly wanna tease you or something 3nodding . I wouldnt worry about it to much.

meaning of the word gay = happy, merry, cheerful.... sweatdrop

yes being calld gay as an insult is a very mean thing to do.

I'm sure my dad won't noticed a 13 year old walking up stairs with a bucket of plaster, then coming upstairs and seeing it all over the carpet and wall. xp sweatdrop

Have I ridden the Curse?

Haven't posted in here for a while. xp

As those who read me journal know, I used to have a crush on this girl Jackie.

We used to be friends, and we'd always hang out and chat, then I learned that she liked this really perverted kid named Zenel. I did some snooping (I know it wasn't right to do, but...) and ofund out that he liked her too. eek gonk

She told me of her plans to ask him to the Dance, and I had to intercept somehow. I asked her to the dance before neither he nor her could go.

This was a big mistake, since she then knew that I liked her all these years. crying

No one believed me when I said I was worried that Zenel and Jackie would become close, than when married, Jackie would get hurt mentally and/or physically by Zenel. They all thought I was paronoid and crazy. Maybe I was, but I couldn't live with myself if that happened.

Her friends knew about Zenel's "Hobbies on the Internet" and Jackie disliked him now. But there was still the business of me liking her. Instead of sobbing over my mistake, I tried to feed off of it. I tried my best to be nice to her, start conversations with her, give her Birthday and Christmas gifts (like I do to all my other friends) but she kept looking at me funny when I would. I guess she thought that I was doing all of this for her exclusively, yet on the week before Christmas, I'd always have a bag full of wrapped gifts for all my friends.

Apparently, she must've liked the game of Cat and Mouse since she kept me going after her for a while. (not literally. xp )

I soon grew tired of this game, and decided that if she didn't want me, then I shouldn't need to try.

Anyways, back to Present Day. u.u;

I knew that although I wanted to feel like I was over her, I still loved her somewhere inside me. Because everyday that I passed by her, I still felt that little glow in my heart that made me feel better from whatever I had.

But on Wednesday night (it was the 6th of April, I think) I had a dream. I can't recall most of what happened in the dream, which kind of kills me, but there's one part that I remember the most. It was me standing in the middle of a crowded Hallway, with Jackie in front of me saying "I love you Daniel, but I could never in that way." As she was saying that, people were walking by us like we weren't there, and then I saw them actually walk through us as if we were ghosts or Apparitions! eek

I still can't interpret what that Dream meant. It especially confuses me since a lot of my dreams like that were more like Visions of things that really happen in the future. Like when I had a dream of me with some person behind me and we were fighting these weird shadowy creatures (they were more like Humans that were completely pitch black)

The next month, I joined my new school, and got in this big fight with all the other 2nd Graders with a kid named Joel behind my back. o.0;;

Anyways, enough about my visions and Telekinetic Mind shishka-doodles. xp

The day after, Thursday April 7th, I was more happy than ever. I just kept walking around feelings happy. Then I stopped, and thought why. It was probably because of that dream, but what did it mean exactly?

Then I thought that maybe I only noticed the "I love you..." part, and that my mind was so dense that I brushed off the "...but never in that way" like it was dust.

I started to think about that all day, and decided that if I can try and make friends with Jackie again like it wwas in the beginning, than everything would go back to normal.

Then as we were chatting while walking to the Buses, Jordan pops in the Middle, and they both seemed to smile and laugh with eachother. I tried to enter the conversation at times, but they acted like I didn't exist.

Jordan had asked Jackie out before in 6th Grade, but she broke up with him about 2 weeks later. Yet now, they are best of friends.

From my experiences, and from listening to my friend's experiences (back when I helped people with their issues) I figured out that one can't so easily not like someone. They can't just decide that they don't love them, or forget that it ever happened.

So I began pondering as to how Jordan was able to just snap back as her friend again.

I came to a decision that Jackie had a new life now. Just as mentioned in other entries, she's changed. She use to never insult or curse at anyone. But now she'll insult and curse at anything and everything. It's hard to explain, but if you were me, you'd definitely of seen a change. neutral

You'd think that I'd try and figure out what's wrong with Jordan that Jackie might now know, but I can't! He's not like Zenel. He's just as good of a guy as me or the next person! Maybe even better! There's no reason why Jackie shouldn't like him. confused

Now, I could realize that if I wanted Jackie out of my life, I had to let time slowly tear her out of me. She's moving on, so I should too.

----

On Friday, she was right next to me, and I never even noticed she was. I use to blush and try not to look at her directly when that happened. She still looks at me with the impression that I was to ask her out, when most likely, I probably still do. Yet I can really feel that change occuring in my mind. Now she's slowly starting to seem like the next Stranger that I don't care about. o_0

The whole day of Friday, I was able to chat with anyone I felt like, without trying to impress her or anyone else! 4laugh It felt great! Like there was no longer a standard that I needed to live up to. whee The teachers were all saying that I had a lot more enthusiasum(sp?) that day. They all seemed glad about it too, saying that I was usually quite, or disruptively angry. But today I seemed more bright and "On the ball" than usual. eek

Maybe this curse of Jackie really is getting off of me! eek