Interesting and Unusual Facts
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee
---
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb
---
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet
---
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life I want to be a pig)
---
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
---
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
---
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
---
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
---
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
---
Some lions mate over 50 times a day. I still want to be a pig in my next life ...
---
Butterflies taste with their feet.
---
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
---
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.
---
Elephants are the only animal that cannot jump.
---
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
---
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
---
Starfish have no brains.
---
Polar bears are left-handed.
---
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig?)
Things That May or May Not Keep You Up at Night
Digital circuits are made from analog parts.
Pretend to spank me - I'm a pseudo-masochist!
He who hesitates is last.
A man's house is his hassle.
Chaste makes waste.
An engineer is someone who does list processing in Fortran.
A chicken is an egg's way of producing more eggs.
Any circuit protected by a fast-acting fuse will protect the fuse by blowing first.
Neutrinos have bad breadth.
Jesus Saves - Johnson scores on the rebound.
In case of injury notify your superior immediately - He'll kiss it and make it better!
GIVE: Support the helpless victims of computer error.
Reality is for people who can't face science fiction.
Breeding rabbits is a hare-raising experience.
People with narrow minds usually have broad tongues.
Friction is a drag.
What fools these morals be!
Wernher von Braun settled for a V-2 when he coulda had a V-8.
Love America - or give it back.
Your program is sick! Shoot it and put it out of its memory.
Blame Saint Andreas - it's all his fault.
If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?
A mouse is an elephant built by the Japanese.
Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.
Go climb a gravity well.
A man's best friend is his dogma.
A penny saved is ridiculous.
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
I disagree with what you say, but will defend to the death your right to tell such LIES!
Every interesting program has at least one variable, one branch, and one loop ... and at least one bug!
No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.
Chemistry professors never die, they just smell that way!
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
Schizophrenia beats being alone.
Battle Creek makes cereal terminals.
To err is human, to forgive is against company policy.
If you have nothing to do, don't do it here.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
He who laughs last didn't get the joke.
Old musicians never die, they just decompose.
We have an equal opportunity Calculus class -- it's fully integrated.
Kiss me twice. I'm schizophrenic.
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn!
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Walt Disney is in suspended animation.
An elephant is a mouse built to military specifications.
Somebody's terminal is dropping bits. I found a pile of them over in the corner.
If it works, don't fix it.
Alex Haley was adopted!
He who always plows a straight furrow is in a rut.
Insomnia isn't anything to lose sleep over.
Gravity brings me down.
Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
Help stamp out and abolish redundancy!
Be a better psychiatrist and the world will beat a psychopath to your door.
He who steps on others to reach the top has good balance.
Lake Erie died for your sins.
While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
The cost of feathers has risen. Now even down is up!
He keeps differentiating ... flying off on a tangent.
COLE's LAW - Thinly sliced cabbage.
This is a GENUINE Cookie! Don't be fooled by cheap imitations!
Do married women make the best wives?
Three can keep a secret - if two are dead.
Morfy's law - Enythink thit ken go rong willl.
Is a Jamaican terminal a raster-farian?
Mount St. Helens should have used earth control.
Then there was the Formosan bartender named Taiwan-On.
He who laughs last is probably your boss.
It is hard to fly with the eagles when you work with the turkeys.
Nuke the Gay Whales!
Prunes give you a run for your money.
Drilling for oil is boring.
This cookie is void where prohibited, licensed, or taxed.
Found on a door in the MSU music building: This door is baroquen, please wiggle Handel. (If I wiggle Handel, will it wiggle Bach?)
Do not read this cookie under penalty of law.
Sooner or later you must pay for your sins.
Constants aren't; variables don't.
You ain't learning anything when you're talking.
Chemistry professors never die, they just fail to react.
Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.
Depart in pieces ... i.e., Split.
Next time, give "the gift that keeps on giving": a female kitten.
Where there's a will, there's an inheritance tax.
Computer programmers never die, they just get lost in the processing.
On the wall of the women's restroom on the Enterprise: "Where no man has gone before"
Celibacy is NOT hereditary.
Our houseplants have a good sense of humous.
On a clear disk you can seek forever.
Programming Department: Mistakes made while you wait.
Microbiology Lab: Staph Only!
Entropy isn't what it used to be.
Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid.
Grass is nature's way of saying "High!"
Acid consumes 47 times its weight in excess reality.
LSD melts your mind, not in your hand.
Individualists unite!
Money is the root of all wealth.
Disco is to music what Etch-A-Sketch is to art.
The Moon may be smaller than Earth, but it's further away.
Remember, the fact that you're paranoid doesn't mean they're NOT out to get you!
Teamwork is vital! (It gives you someone to blame.)
Keep America Beautiful ... emigrate.
If all men were brothers, would you let one marry your sister?
I'm all for computer dating, but I wouldn't want one to marry my sister.
If you eat yogurt, you'll have lots of culture.
If everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane!
The expert is a person who avoids the small errors as he sweeps on to the grand fallacy.
Documentation is the castor oil of programming ... Managers know it must be good because the programmers hate it so much.
The human mind ordinarily operates at only ten percent of its capacity - the rest is overhead for the operating system.
The bearing of a child takes nine months, no matter how many women are assigned to the project.
The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.
If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.
Computers Unite! You have nothing to lose but your operators.
Eschew Obfuscation!
Recursive, adj.; see Recursive
An expert is someone from out of town.
If you see an onion ring - answer it!
Meekness is uncommon patience in planning a worthwhile revenge.
Do students of Zen Buddhism do Om-work?
Poverty begins at home.
Do it today, tomorrow it will be illegal.
In case of fire, yell "FIRE!"
Postmen never die, they just lose their zip.
Rubber bands have snappy endings!
Old frogs never die, but they do croak!
COBOL programs are an exercise in Artificial Inelegance.
Every time I lose weight, it finds me again!
It's hard to be humble when you're perfect.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
An atheist is a man with no invisible means of support.
Whom computers would destroy, they must first drive insane.
Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.
Clones are people two.
Microwaves frizz your heir.
Laetrile is the pits.
When taxes are due, Americans tend to feel quite bled-white and blue.
To make tax forms true they should read "Income Owed Us" and Incommode You".
Whatever you say about pornography, sex is here to stray.
For a holy stint, a moth of the cloth gave up his woolens for lint.
Heard on Noahs' ark: Sailing is fun, but scrubbing the decks is aardvark.
We all like praise, but a hike in our pay is the best way.
Why do so many foods come packaged in plastic? It's quite uncanny.
Massachusetts has the best politicians money can buy!
Going the speed of light is bad for your age.
White dwarf seeks red giant for binary relationship.
Polymer physicists are into chains.
On all lasergrams: Don't forget the Zap code.
Time is just nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
There's no future in time travel.
[We are all time travelers. We travel one day into the future every 24 hours.]
Cloning is the sincerest form of flattery.
Test-tube babies shouldn't throw stones.
Take an astronaut to launch.
Jealousy is all the fun you think they have.
Reality does not exist - yet.
Sentient plasmoids are a gas.
Xerox never comes up with anything original.
Never hit a man with glasses; hit him with your fist.
Never leave anything to chance; make sure all your crimes are premeditated.
If rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?
Small programs are for small minds.
All programmers want arrays!
Two can live as cheaply as one - for half as long.
Things worth having are worth cheating for.
Psychiatrists stay on your mind.
Astronauts get missile-toe.
If your feet smell and your nose runs - you're built upside down.
Mrs. Ghandi is in a sari state.
Raise ducks for quack profit.
Part-time musicians are semiconductors.
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Interchangeable parts won't.
A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
In which level of metalanguage are you now speaking?
To iterate is human; to recurse, divine.
The problem with any unwritten law is that you don't know where to go to erase it.
Counting in octal is just like counting in decimal, if you don't use your thumbs.
Counting in binary is just like counting in decimal, if you are all thumbs.
We don't really understand it, so we'll give it to the programmers.
Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career.
The concept seems to be clear by now. It has been defined several times by example of what it is not.
Don't sweat it - binary is only ones and zeros.
If this is timesharing, give me my share right now.
Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.
Never put off 'til tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
He who puts his nose to the grindstone is a bloody fool.
Practiss makes perfict.
A friend in need is a pest indeed.
Genius is ten percent inspiration and fifty percent capital gains.
He who trains his tongue to quote the learned sages will be known, far and wide, as a smart-a**.
Let him who is stoned cast the first sin.
Do unto others before they undo you.
Love thy neighbor, but make sure her husband is away first!
He who hesitates is constipated.
Money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots.
The best things in life are for a fee.
He who is flogged by fate and laughs the louder is a masochist.
How many priests are needed for a Boston Mass?
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can make a fool of yourself anytime.
Let us remember that ours is a nation of lawyers and order.
People who live in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses.
Laugh and the world thinks you're an idiot.
Zen Druids practice Transcendental Vegetation.
If you are what you eat, does that mean Euelle Gibbons really was a nut?
Gardeners are prone to sod-den decisions!
Be alert, America needs more lerts.
Reply
