Welcome to Gaia! ::

Connor growled. "Fine, but know that I am not happy about it."
He took the shirt and laid on Isiah's cot,, putting the shirt over his face.
"He went north."

Tsurai wasn't even that close to town yet, and was already struggling. He couldn't remember eating or drinking anything today. All that crying must've used up his reserve. Now the heat was getting to him and he was nauseous; slightly faltering in his slow walk toward the Denzien-ruled town, left hand still clinging to his broken chain.

"He's not here," Connor grumbled, hearing the footsteps.

Tsurai kept walking. "Go away," he whined.

Tsurai stopped, looking down at the canteen with remorse.

It took a second before he took it, unscrewed it, and drank a good portion, sitting down on the ground when done.

"Kaegan wants me to be something I'm not," Tsurai said, looking at the ground. He started to shake subtly.
"He says I'm too old to act like this. That I'm not a kid anymore."

Tsurai broke back into his depressed mindset and put his hands to his face, canteen still in one while the tags were still in the other.
"But I can't be what he wants me to be! I don't know how!"

Tsurai looked up at Isiah. "I don't know who I am! You say all these things, and then I try to be what people want me to be. What people tell me to be. And I do it with a smile on my face because I liked doing it! But what you and Kaegan are telling me to do is too hard!" He shook his head back and forth.

"I can't do anything by myself! All the decisions I make suck. I ditched you, I killed the people I loved, I ran away from my problems.. Nobody ever taught me how to do anything useful!"

Tsurai was sobbing, now. "I can't even cook. Or read. Everything everyone else has.. I don't.. And nobody ever helped me understand what they mean. Everyone just expects me to know, and I don't!"

Tsurai leaned over and hugged Isiah's waist, canteen still in hand. His face dug into Isiah's stomach.
With a hard swallow, he hoarsed, "I'm so different from everybody else. Why can't I be like you? Why is everything so hard? It's not fair!"

Tsurai loosened up to just lie ontop of Isiah.

"How did you know you were gay?" Tsurai said softly, turning on his back to close the canteen and lay it on the ground beside him, so he could watch Isiah.

"Braeden said it was if you wanted to have sex with men, but.." Tsurai frowned, brows furrowing. "I don't want to have sex with anybody."

Tsurai looked away from Isiah''s face. "Well I liked the sex I got from ALex when it happened.. And from what everyone tells me, I liked it with Cyrus, too..."

The kid swallowed. "But I don''t get horny looking at people or anything. Braeden said I was lucky."

Tsurai looked up at Isiah. "When I was with Kris.. I was so happy..."
He rolled over and hugged Isiah again. "I'd do anything for her. She was so nice to me. I would've died for her.. But I--"
He shook his head in Isiah's stomach. "I don't want to make the same mistake again. I kept on living, so I could prove to everyone that I didn't kill people I cared about just because Brian told me to.. And now I'm afraid that.. Even when I'm with you, I'm scared.. Because Connor could be right, and I could still be.."

He squeezed Isiah.