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 Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 8:46 pm
rp saas nazo slowly turned he saw his mother and father being killed by his uncle.seeing this he slowly started to cry and dashed to his uncle with a kunia in one hand and a a sword in the other.
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Posted: Sat May 10, 2008 10:17 am
I don't know if I missed anything, but here goes. Please tell me if I need to do anything else before I graduate. My character is Jetsu, I haven't come up with a clan or last name yet.
RP Sample:
"Why do the highly trained ninja's always have to chase me?!Jetsu shouted as he sprinted through the heavily overgrown forest as fast as he could from the ninja. Run, faster, faster, FASTER! I will die a horribly painfully death if I don't get away! Lost in his fierce train of thought, Jetsu didn't see an overgrown root in his path. Jetsu hit the root with tremendous speed, went airborne and hit the ground. Jetsu tried desperately to get up, but only felt pain and his world went black.
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Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 12:54 pm
Alright here goes.BTW this has nothing to do with my charecter cuz I've got to get him aprooved first and can we use "ooc;" to talk out of charecter? ninja
A boy of the age of 13 stood there. Stood there in a dark and small room. He stared at a picture. Apicture that contained all of his happy memories. He stood there staring at he picture of his parents and him. Together. He was only five years old. He lifted the picture and wiped the dust of the frame. The boy removed the picture from the frame, folded it up.
A single tear trickled down his cheek.He folded up the picture, put it in in his tattered Kohona vest, grabbed his rucksack and headed for the door of the old house. Just then he heard a rusling in the trees and a voice.
"You've survived too long Kiren" said a deep scratchy voice. Kiren's eye's widened. "No!!" thought Kiren "not here not now!" As his enemy drew a kunai so did Kiren. "ORICHIMARU" yelled Kiren "I WILL KILL YOU FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE" and with that he threw his kunai....
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Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 3:37 pm
((00c Hiz am new and am just getting the hang of using these forums ^_^" Here's my sample post. Since my character hasn't been approved yet, I'll introduce her in this sample post as Cres, her nickname))
BIC
Quick paced steps hurried through the muddy terra. With not a glance back, she kept going. She would never go back to that Place. The orphanage which held so many memories was not but a dot in her mind. An echo of footsteps rushing through the brush made her pause. Turning a full 360 degrees couldn't make out who was following her. Alas within a blink of an eye, she met her stalker. " You!" she excalimed. It had been her correction's officer. " I'm not going back." she hissed.
A sly grin was planted on the young man's face. " Am not taking you back." Reading the teen's confused expression explained, " You have way too much potential to be waisted at such a common place. You have been sentenced to 'ninja school'"
" Say what?" she retorted in disbelief.
A sly smirk was drawn.
And now a week later Cres finds herself at the School's gates, still debating if she should make a run for it, or give the place a chance.
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Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 1:18 pm
kehee Okay This is my RP: Yoshi walks through the village gate, keeping her eyes on the tower. People watch as blood runs down her face,wonderong how she could keep going on. She walks slowly side to side, leaning forward she rips off her cloak then keeps going. People come to her aid but she pushes them away. She hears people yell "Don't do this. Stop. You can go back, You still can." , But Yoshi said ,"No I cannot. It is too late." And she pursues forward toward the tower. "No! No! Yoshi please!", she hears someone scream but she keeps going on. Then she stops and remembers what Takaya said. "Have I really changed? Am I really a different person?" Who am I..... And then she collapses. Very good for starters. Try to add a bit more detail on your character's surroundings and physical/mental condition... 3nodding
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Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 1:21 pm
jrmudo rp saas nazo slowly turned he saw his mother and father being killed by his uncle.seeing this he slowly started to cry and dashed to his uncle with a kunia in one hand and a a sword in the other. TWO LINES? C'mon dude! You need atleast four or five... put in more detail, maybe what you character was thinking? Also... you need to caplitalize a few things, add spaces after a period, and it's kunai, not kunia. rp saas nazo?
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Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 1:22 pm
Shadowwalker7 I don't know if I missed anything, but here goes. Please tell me if I need to do anything else before I graduate. My character is Jetsu, I haven't come up with a clan or last name yet. RP Sample: "Why do the highly trained ninja's always have to chase me?!Jetsu shouted as he sprinted through the heavily overgrown forest as fast as he could from the ninja. Run, faster, faster, FASTER! I will die a horribly painfully death if I don't get away! Lost in his fierce train of thought, Jetsu didn't see an overgrown root in his path. Jetsu hit the root with tremendous speed, went airborne and hit the ground. Jetsu tried desperately to get up, but only felt pain and his world went black. I like it. Just add a bit more sensory details, alright? 3nodding
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Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 1:25 pm
Kiren777 Alright here goes.BTW this has nothing to do with my charecter cuz I've got to get him aprooved first and can we use "ooc;" to talk out of charecter? ninja A boy of the age of 13 stood there. Stood there in a dark and small room. He stared at a picture. Apicture that contained all of his happy memories. He stood there staring at he picture of his parents and him. Together. He was only five years old. He lifted the picture and wiped the dust of the frame. The boy removed the picture from the frame, folded it up. A single tear trickled down his cheek.He folded up the picture, put it in in his tattered Kohona vest, grabbed his rucksack and headed for the door of the old house. Just then he heard a rusling in the trees and a voice. "You've survived too long Kiren" said a deep scratchy voice. Kiren's eye's widened. "No!!" thought Kiren "not here not now!" As his enemy drew a kunai so did Kiren. "ORICHIMARU" yelled Kiren "I WILL KILL YOU FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE" and with that he threw his kunai.... We perfer ooc as () (()) [] [[]] stuff like that. You did very well, I would just suggest that you change your first two scentences, combine them more like... You have a bit of awkward phrasing in there.
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Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 1:28 pm
marieana firedrake ((00c Hiz am new and am just getting the hang of using these forums ^_^" Here's my sample post. Since my character hasn't been approved yet, I'll introduce her in this sample post as Cres, her nickname)) BIC Quick paced steps hurried through the muddy terra. With not a glance back, she kept going. She would never go back to that Place. The orphanage which held so many memories was not but a dot in her mind. An echo of speedy bodies rushing through the brush made her pause. Turning a full 360 degrees couldn't make out who was following her. Alas within a blink of an eye, she met her stalker. " You!" she excalimed. It had been her correction's officer. " I'm not going back." she hissed. A sly grin was planted on the young man's face. " Am not taking you back." Reading the teen's confused expression explained, " You have way too much potential to be waisted at such a common place. You have been sentenced to 'ninja school'" " Say what?" she retorted in disbelief. A sly smirk was drawn. And now a week later Cres finds herself at the School's gates, still debating if she should make a run for it, or give the place a chance. speedy bodies? Am not taking you? You should probably fix those, they're kinda awkward... sweatdrop Other than that, I loved it, lol. whee
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Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 3:10 am
((Okz, I edited it. Changed " Speedy bodies" to "echo of footsteps"
*Crosses fingers and hopes she passed*
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Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 8:51 am
(Here goes nothing I guess...)
The wind howled through the trees as he walked, creating pockets of air that would blow the sleeve of his shirt into his face and across the armored part of his chest, creating a slapping sound that, more than anything, annoyed Zinata.
He paused in his stride and looked up, his eyes empty of anything but the annoyance he felt for having to prove his worth to someone. This mission was a complete and utter impracticality in his eyes and he didn't like it.
"Let's just get this over with," he thought as he lowered his gaze and strode forward, past the gates and up the stairs to the door, "At least Kasama and Mitrian are here. Boredom, at least, can be staved off."
With an apathetic frown, he pushed the blue oaken doors open and entered into the academy.
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Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 1:10 pm
marieana firedrake ((00c Hiz am new and am just getting the hang of using these forums ^_^" Here's my sample post. Since my character hasn't been approved yet, I'll introduce her in this sample post as Cres, her nickname)) BIC Quick paced steps hurried through the muddy terra. With not a glance back, she kept going. She would never go back to that Place. The orphanage which held so many memories was not but a dot in her mind. An echo of footsteps rushing through the brush made her pause. Turning a full 360 degrees couldn't make out who was following her. Alas within a blink of an eye, she met her stalker. " You!" she excalimed. It had been her correction's officer. " I'm not going back." she hissed. A sly grin was planted on the young man's face. " Am not taking you back." Reading the teen's confused expression explained, " You have way too much potential to be waisted at such a common place. You have been sentenced to 'ninja school'" " Say what?" she retorted in disbelief. A sly smirk was drawn. And now a week later Cres finds herself at the School's gates, still debating if she should make a run for it, or give the place a chance. Pass
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Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 1:14 pm
PhyrexianDemon (Here goes nothing I guess...) The wind howled through the trees as he walked, creating pockets of air that would blow the sleeve of his shirt into his face and across the armored part of his chest, creating a slapping sound that, more than anything, annoyed Zinata. He paused in his stride and looked up, his eyes empty of anything but the annoyance he felt for having to prove his worth to someone. This mission was a complete and utter impracticality in his eyes and he didn't like it. "Let's just get this over with," he thought as he lowered his gaze and strode forward, past the gates and up the stairs to the door, "At least Kasama and Mitrian are here. Boredom, at least, can be staved off." With an apathetic frown, he pushed the blue oaken doors open and entered into the academy. Your first paragraph is just one long scentence, and you use the word created twice and a little too close together... I also think that you should add more to your character's feeling. Thoughts are in italisized... speaking in is "quotes"
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Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 3:08 pm
On a starry night a young couple fled from there burning house out side of a remote village into a dense wood. A group of predatory ninjas followed closely behind. Several hundred thousand yards in the young husband stopped and turned to face the assailants yelling "keep running! I will hold them!" as a ninja attacked him. Several hundred more feet the ninja squad caught the young pregnant wife after leaving her fiancé dead. Slashing deep fatal gauges in her back, she fell to the ground. She was dead before she hit the ground. The assassins left her like they did to the man after checking her vitals. The woods gave way to silence as animals gathered around the pregnant woman's corpse not stepping into the ring of light from the moon to morn the recently dead mother. A few seconds pasted then the body moved slightly, then again. The body rolled from its side to its stomach. The animals could see the life still in the corpse worming its way out. The crown of a small head pushed its way out of a blood-oozing gash. The animals looked on to the site of this seven-month-old fetus birthing it self out of the corpses lower back in awe and discuss.
Sho fed off the milk of his wolven surrogate using his natural ability of subconscious influence over animal. Until he was old enough that he could kill & eat her. He was a savage until 5, when he killed and ate a sanin rank ninja that showed him affection. When the anbu team found the half eaten body with a mere child devouring it, they could not believe he did it. But they found out otherwise very fast when Sho killed one of them. He was reformed to the ways of civilization. The hokage placed him in a ninja academy for his nature, resourcefulness, cunning, & killing lust.
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Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 6:32 pm
((There's a bit of powerplaying here, but he's a NPC and its just for sample purposes.))
Mamoru dodged to his left, narrowly avoiding the kunai now lodged into a tree. His sparring partner and he were doing some light training, however the force in which the kunai it the tree showed more effort than usual for "light training."
"Hey Kouri, what was that?" said Mamoru, anger coating his words. While waiting for Kouri he sat down against the tree in order to catch his breath. Kouri appeared out from the thick line of trees like a shadow and took his time walking towards Mamoru. The two had been friends since a young age, however Kouri had changed drastically since entering the academy. His ability to learn quickly got him into the top rank in their class, which brought along with it a cockiness like none other. Kouri wasn't the best of students, mostly because he was an expert procrastinator, but wouldn't be considered a bad student either.
"What? They're just kunai. Harmless stuff." said Kouri. He walked over to the tree and yanked out the kunai, stuffing them back into his side pouch.
"Yeah, harmless because you were the one throwing them." Mamoru turned and began walking back towards the village, losing his drive to continue training.
"At least now I won't have you weighing me down" Kouri said as he turned and walked into the line of trees. Mamoru looked back to see his friend walk off into the shadows of the forest before continuing on to the village.
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