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Exactly.

I hate feeling totally useless biggrin

My friend Shannon was crying at lunch today, because her friend Jessie (well she started acting "friends" w/ me this year... or she could just be lying on her attitude) wanted Shannon to move to her table. Shannon said "No, you know how I feel about that, I don't want to move to the table because of all the problems caused the past 2 years" (issues w/ some people).

Jessie: "Yeah, well guess what hun? Doesn't matter on what problems you have, they're just small and easy to ignore, get over yourself".

And that's what happened! She kept crying the past 23 minutes over the situation, I tried to comfort her w/ words like "Shannon, it's ok, doesn't matter how big or small a problem is, it's just that, a problem that needs solving".

Shannon: "I know it's a problem that has an answer over and over, and I have to go through this depressing cycle and I HATE IT here in school and I'm sick of this crap where all my friends don't give a s**t on any problem I have, I wanna go home now! I've identified, I want my Jessie back!!!!!!!!"

I don't know what to say to her, I completely lack human intelligence and understanding. The only thing I can do is just say nice things and be comforting, but Shannon says all of that is wierd. I can't stand letting her go through this, and I'm not doing a freakin' thing to help at all...

UPC Leon: Understandable, there are moments where I feel overlooked anywhere on Gaia (well I constantly post on the bottom of a page) and that I can't provide anything to type worth reading/quoting... I mean, when I post in threads like POW's "zOMG's changes" thread, if anyone reads what I typed, my post looks completely lack-luster on anything, non-intelligent and baseless on a point of view. I generated voices in my head to overshadow the loneliness I faced in the past, for comfort (well I wasn't the person who had friends come over to talk... it's the only substitute I got). The voices didn't just come to me, I created 'em, I don't care what abusive things they say, I just imagine as if I have a peer talking to me...

To UPC Leon's colors: *smacks* how the ******** is she a freak when she wants to talk about something? I don't say these things to be polite, if I didn't want to deal w/ the problems, I wouldn't bother posting or responding to this now.

Other secret: I sometimes feel like cutting myself for hi-jacking threads w/ my useless posts that are centered around me... I jsut hate it...

That's strange. I find you have a decent amount of intelligence. Not only can you present a problem you articulate it well also. If you aren't quoted a lot don't worry it may just not be applying to the discussion in the thread. I'm almost never quoted like almost every one else is. It still kind of bothers me.

I fail at life :[
And people tend to ignore me

What gave you the idea that people ignore you? I fail to understand that. People quote you all the time, and if they don't quote you, you are at least mentioned one in most threads you post in. In the guild at least I haven't looked over your posts in other places.

I love it when it's there.
But my version of Red/Blue likes imposing the fact that I'm worthless upon me. So after playing a few mind games with myself, I found it better to just embrace it, and use it to my advantage.

I still insult myself in any way possible, but now I figure there's an upside to every negative quality.
.........
Now I'm wondering how the hell I can deem myself a pessimist.

Unlike any other.