Broken Passion
Oh..I See~ -Laughs thinking of the exact General she was talking of, she pictured him in her mind then quivered slightly, That guy was indeed not one to mess with at all, she glanced back up at her and smiled slightly.- S-Scary~ -She giggled, thinking back to her General, Tiedoll was nothing like that..He was a kind fatherly figure and even often called her the others like Kanda his children.Although she can picture herself getting rather pissy when he says " Sons ".-
Heh...~ I Know how you feel...But I Think, Its good..You don't remember alot of your past, those fond memories...Yes..Its almost a miracle you don't remember them...Although they are good things..Its best not to remember them..At least you won't have so much to loose when you've lost it.... They really...Destroy who you are at times... -She let out a sigh avoiding remembering anything of her own past, The fact that its gone..Everything. Gone. There was no need to even remember it, It's like it was never there to begin with..Or at least she wished she could see it that way.
Even so, I've been smacked back in track years ago, I Know what I lost. And I Don't need it really back..I Simply need to keep moving forward~ -Smiles at her- And you do too~ I'm thankful truly you don't remember too much of your past Jin, At least.. You wouldn't of end up like me~ -Lets out a soft sigh staring at her white hair, a few flashbacks of how she use to be filled her mind.-
Sometimes, I Want to hurt them for saving me...because of all the pain and burden of it all I Have to carry upon my shoulders...But most of the time I Want to thank them...For giving me a second reason to live in this world, If it wasn't for her sake..If I lost her...I Live for them now. And that is my reason...I Live for him...I Know the feeling of loosing the things that are most important to you...But I Also know the feeling of gaining it back, I Have people who are important to me now and that is why..I'm an exorcist. And I Live and continue fighting, To protect them..! And...A Pathetic side of me...Desires Revenge....-Eyes fall downcast as she remembers What Tiedoll said..Revenge isnt' the path she should take..She respected that, But a part of her didn't want to accept it.That part of her, she hopes to never have to show anyone...Especially him.Sai-chan...-she sighed softly, smiling, even though it seemed bitter.- memories are precious...as painful as they may be, and when they come back to haunt you night after night, they do so to drive you on. As crazy as I am, I want to remember everything, painful or happy, because the little girl I was long ago has seemed to die off, and i want to remember what she was like, and how and why we are two completely different people now. Memories, tragedy, pain...I was molded into the girl I am today, thanks to those and the few people that have helped me back up to my feet. Revenge has long since been unimportant to me, though I'd like to stare that man...no, that
monster in the eyes, even if it's just once...and I want him to know exactly what he's done to the life I could have had, the kind of person I could have been...-she reached up to touch the clip in her hair- A part of me wants to thank him...I may not be here today, and I wouldn't have found someone important to me, wouldn't have met
him...
But, enough of that. If I let myself get carried away, dangerous things might happen. -giggling softly, hollowly, Jin winked slightly. True...talking about things so personal would cause big trouble. Secrets would have slipped from their cages, steel doors chained tightly within her mind would have broken free and released suppressed conversations or information. She would go mad...become more unstable than he already was. But, that would happen sooner or later. She stretched, yawning before she stood and began walking out of the room- I'm tired, so I'm going to go see if I can get some sleep. Oh, Sai-chan, please don't tell Kanda about this. -she pointed to the bandage- I'll tell him myself, since he needs to know that I couldn't finish the 100 laps. i have to make it up to him somehow. But, I'll figure that out later...goodnight.
Reply
