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 Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 11:45 am
Ok so, I have two stories...
First, my percussion director owns this Shitzu puppy named ShuShu. He brought this puppy to band practice one day and we were waiting on my band director, a big man who spills coffee on everything and loves his dog Muffy, to bring the Gator (small vehicle used to pull the pit carts). SO he comes around the corner throws both hands up in the air (they were no longer on the streeing wheel) and yells "SHU SHU!!!" OMG it was quite funny.
Second, we went to the Gator Bowl in 2004 and it was WVU against Flordia State. We really didn't want to be there I mean it was hot and we were tired. So, the FSU fight song is this very catching Indian chant and we started to make up words to it to the effect of
"We need Food/ And some sleep"
Nearly all of the staff joined in and made up there own words the entire rest of the trip.
I'm not sure if any of you will find that funny but we sure did.
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Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 4:29 pm
Hmm.....Well, there are a lot of "ism"s. Our director just loves picking on us (all of us). So if you think you'll feel insulted by reading some of these, then don't read.
One time we had to evacuate the stadium into the school lobby because there was lightning (and standing up high on metal bleachers with mostly metal instruments isn't fun). He always jokes that there are too many flutes and he should kill a few of us off, so he said that they should have sent a few of us back out to stand at the top of the bleachers holding our flutes in the air.
Another of his favorite jokes: "Can anyone tell me the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower?...*silence*...You can tune a lawnmower!"
Also, he has been known to compare the pit to lawn gnomes, clarinets to dying ducks, etc.
One day of band camp I will never forget. (A little background, he's been teaching for 30-some-odd years and has a bald spot that we love to tease him about.) Our director walked in wearing a t-shirt that said "It's not a bald spot, it's a solar panel for a sex machine".
You know that look that most students give their teachers in the morning? That blank look that says you're physically in school but mentally still in bed? He dubbed it the "West York Academic Stare" and has an amazingly funny impression of it. He loves making faces at us in general, usually immitating us. It's even funnier because he's old and has a walrus mustache.
Then there was the time that he immitated Elmer Fudd. "Shh, be vewy vewy quiet. I'm hunting twumpets."
And last but not least, a crack on directors that isn't mine (psst, that's the disclaimer) but made its way down the band grapevine quite a few times. "I was a percussionist in college. One day our professor got frustrated because our section kept messing up. 'If you're too stupid to play an instrument,' he said, 'they put you in the back and give you a pair of sticks and call you a percussionist.' My friend leaned over to me and said, 'Yea, and if you're too stupid to hold onto both sticks, they give you one stick, put you at the front, and call you a director'."
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Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 5:57 pm
Kitany_Gethsum Hmm.....Well, there are a lot of "ism"s. Our director just loves picking on us (all of us). So if you think you'll feel insulted by reading some of these, then don't read. One time we had to evacuate the stadium into the school lobby because there was lightning (and standing up high on metal bleachers with mostly metal instruments isn't fun). He always jokes that there are too many flutes and he should kill a few of us off, so he said that they should have sent a few of us back out to stand at the top of the bleachers holding our flutes in the air. Another of his favorite jokes: "Can anyone tell me the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower?...*silence*...You can tune a lawnmower!" Also, he has been known to compare the pit to lawn gnomes, clarinets to dying ducks, etc. One day of band camp I will never forget. (A little background, he's been teaching for 30-some-odd years and has a bald spot that we love to tease him about.) Our director walked in wearing a t-shirt that said "It's not a bald spot, it's a solar panel for a sex machine". You know that look that most students give their teachers in the morning? That blank look that says you're physically in school but mentally still in bed? He dubbed it the "West York Academic Stare" and has an amazingly funny impression of it. He loves making faces at us in general, usually immitating us. It's even funnier because he's old and has a walrus mustache. Then there was the time that he immitated Elmer Fudd. "Shh, be vewy vewy quiet. I'm hunting twumpets." And last but not least, a crack on directors that isn't mine (psst, that's the disclaimer) but made its way down the band grapevine quite a few times. "I was a percussionist in college. One day our professor got frustrated because our section kept messing up. 'If you're too stupid to play an instrument,' he said, 'they put you in the back and give you a pair of sticks and call you a percussionist.' My friend leaned over to me and said, 'Yea, and if you're too stupid to hold onto both sticks, they give you one stick, put you at the front, and call you a director'." OMG my director has a "walrus" mustache!
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Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 6:13 pm
Dornroschen463 Kitany_Gethsum Hmm.....Well, there are a lot of "ism"s. Our director just loves picking on us (all of us). So if you think you'll feel insulted by reading some of these, then don't read. One time we had to evacuate the stadium into the school lobby because there was lightning (and standing up high on metal bleachers with mostly metal instruments isn't fun). He always jokes that there are too many flutes and he should kill a few of us off, so he said that they should have sent a few of us back out to stand at the top of the bleachers holding our flutes in the air. Another of his favorite jokes: "Can anyone tell me the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower?...*silence*...You can tune a lawnmower!" Also, he has been known to compare the pit to lawn gnomes, clarinets to dying ducks, etc. One day of band camp I will never forget. (A little background, he's been teaching for 30-some-odd years and has a bald spot that we love to tease him about.) Our director walked in wearing a t-shirt that said "It's not a bald spot, it's a solar panel for a sex machine". You know that look that most students give their teachers in the morning? That blank look that says you're physically in school but mentally still in bed? He dubbed it the "West York Academic Stare" and has an amazingly funny impression of it. He loves making faces at us in general, usually immitating us. It's even funnier because he's old and has a walrus mustache. Then there was the time that he immitated Elmer Fudd. "Shh, be vewy vewy quiet. I'm hunting twumpets." And last but not least, a crack on directors that isn't mine (psst, that's the disclaimer) but made its way down the band grapevine quite a few times. "I was a percussionist in college. One day our professor got frustrated because our section kept messing up. 'If you're too stupid to play an instrument,' he said, 'they put you in the back and give you a pair of sticks and call you a percussionist.' My friend leaned over to me and said, 'Yea, and if you're too stupid to hold onto both sticks, they give you one stick, put you at the front, and call you a director'." OMG my director has a "walrus" mustache! Really? Aren't they soooo funny looking?
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Who is Puffer Fish Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 2:13 pm
Well, today...
I forgot to turn in my science project binder, and had to wait all the way until band to give it to the main office so they could give it to my teacher and tell her I turned it in before the day was over...but that won't make any difference 'cause she's grading them tonight...-_- ANYWAYS...
Me: *talking at lightspeed* Hartmetz-can-I-go-give-this-to-my-science-teacher?
H: ...what? Repeat yourself slower. All I heard was *random gibberish*.
Me: ...-_- *repeats*
H: Okay.
Me: *comes back from giving it to the office*
H: *shouts gibberish at me from halfway across the room* xd
Me: ...stop mocking me, Hartmetz! xd
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Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 3:31 pm
Okay, this happened today.
BD (to Drum C) When you turn sixteen, you should totally buy a van and paint "The Love Machine" on the side. Get some shag carpet, tinted windows. Shcoks so the van rocks.."
Class: 0_o
BD- 4th period. I'll stop talking now.
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Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 7:39 pm
So the BD was tuning a bass right? She said, "Let me see your G string". The class was staring at her like she was crazy and you could hear people saying stuff like,"I feel bad for Jeff. He has to live with her."
A different BD was telling the clarinets to BLOW HARDER since we didn't have a lot last year.
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Posted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 7:58 pm
At our band banquet...
Hartmetz: Brian Pinkston! *everyone applauds as Brian walks up to H to get pins/rose/praise* My gosh, you've grown so much, Brian...
Brian: ... No I haven't...-_- *referring to how short he is*
Everyone: XDDD
H: Not what I meant...but...*continues on*
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Who is Puffer Fish Vice Captain
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Who is Puffer Fish Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 3:43 pm
*revive*
Hartmetz: Okay, you go first. *referring to me*
Me: Okay...*goes in the test room, does the test, comes back out and sits back down*
H:*was in his office, didn't see*...You need to go!
Me: I did!
H: I said I have to turn the camera on!
Me: But the red light was on!
H: That meant it had power!
Me: Then how do we know it's on? -_-
Class: XD
---
John: *comes back from the test, band is playing Pomp and Circumstance*
H: Okay, the precessional, guys...from the top.
John: *misheard and plays the beginning of the recessional, meaning he crashed his cymbals*
H: ....*cuts band off* John, I'm going to put you in ensemble 3 next year JUST FOR YOU if you do that at graduation...
Everyone: LOL FAIL
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Posted: Tue Jun 17, 2008 3:48 pm
my band teacher was telling a percussionist to play louder and he said
"BANG THAT DRUM LIKE YOUR BANGIN YOUR SISTER!"
He was like, "just forget i said that"
then he called one kid a whore....and it was a guy.
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Who is Puffer Fish Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 2:35 pm
Not so much what he did, but how he interpreted my sarcasm.
Hartmetz: *takes ten minutes to back the trailer up 'cause he kept almost hitting the fence*
Me: 9_9 Nice driving skills, H.
Him: Thanks.
Me: ...
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Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 8:32 pm
haha....we had a band teacher who was yelling at us for breaking things, and during this lecture, he proceeded to sit on a table and break it.
the speech ended abruptly and he went in his office.
the other drum major and I went to make sure he was okay, ....
he was crying in his office.
needless to say, he left after that...
and then we got a director who knew what they were doing.
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Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 9:27 am
Our Bd would yell stuff at us like
I demand a Superior
or Lay off the Marijuana the way he says it is Hilarious hes got this real funny country accent so it makes him fun to imitate
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Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 6:27 pm
Us in percussion: *makes a little character out of the guiro, a perc. instrument*
Chris: *walks on stage, we show him, he WTF's then laughs*
H: Percussion! *sees us all laughing* What's going on? o.o
Us: *moves so he can see*
H: Normally I'd laugh at that but tonight's the concert. So take it apart before it falls and breaks.
Us: *has to take it apart* Aw...
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Who is Puffer Fish Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 7:02 pm
We were in jazz band and my teacher was like, "Music is like a beautiful woman: you don't say *insert monotone voice* 'Hey, baby..." you say *like he's hitting on someone* 'Hey, baaaaaaaby!' " We were just like O.o
And then there was this kid names Chris (in jazz band) and he asked joey, "Hey, Joey. What do you do when you're flat?" And Joey said, "Push in." So Chris just said, "That's what she said!" They started doing that kind of stuff a lot, but that was by far the best, because it was so on the spot out of no where, and we were like, O.o whoa... ahahaha! lol
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Reply
