Welcome to Gaia! ::

Tsurai sighed. "Alright." He waved slightly and walked right back over to Kaegan again.

"Hey again."
The boy ran through the list in his head. "Was wondering if there was any valium or girls.. Or.. Condoms.." Tsurai was open about mostly everything, so saying things int hat particular order didn't register as being wrong.
Are there any around here?"

He put his right hand behind his neck, rubbing it's now-naked flesh while his left hand was still in his pocket.

Tsurai frowned. "What? No. I was just asking if each one of them... Respectfully.. Were around. They're unreleated. It's like a..."
Tsurai slumped over. "I asked Braeden to give me something to do because I was so bored. He put me on a scavenger hunt for things that probably don't exist here."

"I can't punch him," Tsurai whined. "I don't fight anymore.."
He ran his right hand through his brown hair.
"What do you mean, you worry about me? Why?"

"What does OCD have to do with anything? And how am I supposed to look into it if there are no books? I can't, Kaegan. People need to tell me things or else I'm lost."

He sighed, lying his head on his hand. "So what now? You think I have OCD?"

Tsurai let his hand brush over his hair once more before shoving it in his pocket.
"I don't know what you mean by that."

He looked toward Isiah's adobe rut. "And I tried to do that when I was with Isiah. I really was." He looked down to the ground. "And look where it got me? I'm obviously not making very smart decisions, so I might as well just let others do it for me."

Tsurai brought his hands from his pockets and plopped his butt on the ground, forearms on bent knees.

"The only good decision I ever made was getting off drugs and running away from my family. Personally, I'd rather have my scars be from somebody else. They don't hurt me so much as the ones I made myself." Tsurai rubbed his forehead with the heel of his left palm.

Tsurai looked to the ground, bringing his right hand down and drawing random cirlces in the ground. "I mean, there are still some things I'd like to do... But I don't want to force what I want on other people. I have patience. I can wait. I just need something else to do while I'm waiting. I've never really sat around and done nothing, before.
That was the whole reason I left the sewer town. Alex was gone and nobody could give me anything to do. I walked for a really long time, all over the place. I guess if we ever expand the city they could ask me where.. I probably know those tunnels better than anybody else because I could stop walking. I needed something to do."

Tsurai stopped and look up at Kaegan. "I was scaring them. They told me to go out and do something else. Said I was pacing like an animal when I was actually in town." He looked back down.
"I don't remember doing it like that."

Tsurai hmphed and looked away from Kaegan. "You stop being proud when everyone watches you at your weakest times. There''s nothing left to be proud of then. There''s nothing worth protecting, then."

He started drawing idly again. "I''m not ten. I don''t want to ever be ten again. Ten was when I didn''t get to be a kid anymore. I got in the vault, I started acting like a kid again. Started having fun. You don''t have fun when you''re looking out for other people, when you have to protect your own damn kid. You have fun when you are the kid." Looking back up to Kaegan,
"No worries, right? No responsibilities, right?"

The kid shook his head, placing his hand on his one eye with a groan. "Not a lot to cry about when you''re a kid. Nobody stabs you in the back."

Tsurai put his hands around his legs and pulled his knees to his chest.
"I can't comprehend anything. I don't even understand half of I exist right now. I don't even understand why I still want to live. Everyone else looks so miserable. Braeden sleeps all the time and wishes he were dead. Isiah wishes I were dead, and I probably would've died had I not been in a vault, but I don't even remember going in a vault. I just woke up in one one day."

He looked away from Kaegan. "Somebody dragged my scrawny merderour a** into a vault and I don't even know who it was. If I were that person, I would've just saved myself."

He growled at himself, looking back to Kaegan. "The point is, I'm stupid. I'm not smart enough to be like you, or anybody else over eighteen. I know half as much as all you guys do. I can't give advice worth s**t about anything important."