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A Naruto Roleplay 

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Bisquix

Shirtless Genius

PostPosted: Sun Dec 12, 2010 9:57 am


Rpc Name: Ichirou Arata
Village: Konaha
Rank: Academy Student
Bloodline or Clan applied for: Naga
What you know about the clan/bl:Takes three more posts to learn genjutsu, are weak against genjutsu and weak against Raiton. They can have snake companions which can be venemous and they are short to start off but get huge. They don't care about people much. Other than that what is listed in the sample.
Rp Sample: It had been a few days since Ichirou had left his home, it now being charcoal, and he was interested in the documents he had taken from his mother and father. Plus his fathers heavy sword was killing him. So he took a rest under a tall tree. He slowly unfurled the documents, feeling as if they were delicate and valuable. Turns out they were valuable, but to nobody other than him. It was his families bank accounts, birth certificates, and documents on his ancestors. His mothers side of the family went back to more poor farmers. Generations of great poor farmers! Just kidding, ******** them. Rip. His father on the other hand, went back to the Naga.

The Naga was a great clan that used snakes as companions and had snake like abilities and appearances.My eyes! Ichirou thought. Some were able to extend their limbs and could secret venom from their teeth, or fangs, they could even shed their skin. Even fewer could turn into the true form. Naga shinobi are the best! If i could do this, i could become stronger and kill my parents! I could get them back for what they did to me! I'll get them back so help me god. I could inject venom into them or become the true form and tear them limb from limb! Or or i could shed my skin and strange them with it! The possibilities are endless and there is more to go! He thought excitedly grinning a devilish smile.

"The Naga clan is so great!" He yelled! "They can summon snakes at a super low rank! And they're really smart and learn real fast! I could learn the greatest technique ever and blow my parents to smithereens! The Naga are like superheroes how don't they rule the world! They totally could if they wanted too! Man I hope I'm a real Naga, I gotta be with these eyes!" He said talking to himself

~

Ichirou is now seventeen and is ambushed by a gang of rogue ninjas. The ninjas encircle him moving closer, step by slow step. Now i can see if i'm a real Naga! He thought as the men enclosed on him. One swung his sword and he moved his huge sword in the way. blocking it. He let go of the sword and took his dagger in hand. He jumped over his large sword, and landed on the attackers. He grabbed the mans arm and pulled him closer and bit him at the base of his neck, his fangs slowly sinking deeper and deeper. Finally he could feel the venom seep out of his fangs, and before he could celebrate he was hit with a Raiton jutsu right in the back. He pulled his mouth off the mans neck and fell to the ground in pain, just as the man he bit did. He groaned as he got up and faced the other three men. Another man hit him with a stick to the back of the head, and he fell to the ground again. He could feel his companions slithering around inside his shirt. Assist me, Ryo, Kiyoshi. Yesssss, Massster The snakes voices chimed in his heads in unison. He suddenly moved his arms upward at a man and two black vipers struck him. One in the neck and the other his arm. The men were stunned and taking the chance, Ichirou plunged his dagger under the rib cage of the closest man. The last man ran in terror and Ichirou never saw him again.
PostPosted: Sun Dec 12, 2010 3:59 pm


Rpc Name:Shin naga
Village: Sound
Rank:A/S [Chuunin for sample.]
Bloodline or Clan applied for:Naga
What you know about the clan/bl: My Rpc will have to be a ninjutsu specialist, I will have to use Doton as one of my elements, and Shin will have snake like appearances. The Clan is based around gathering vast amounts of knowledge and power, this drive make most Clan members care very little for others life. This trek for power also gets the Naga to train with people who out rank and out power them, this training method has brought out a "True Form" out of few members. This form transforms the ninja into a large multiple headed snake which has extremely deadly power but lacks mental awareness.

The Naga Clan also has a small snake companion that has the ability to be used in combat as a distraction or to inject poisons into the enemy. The snake grows with the Ninja normally jumping in size for every time the ninja gains a rank(Snake is not a summoned companion and has no jutsu.)

Clan members also learn and grow faster than other ninjas of there rank and or age. They have been known to learn a Jutsu of a higher rank before there squad mates. Even with this abnormal knowledge they only seem to be able to learn one more higher rank jutsu than there comrades.

(Anything I didn't cover in whats above should be gone over in my sample.)
I do have one Questions, it says Naga members can learn Snake summons at Genning. Any ninja should be able to do this so Does this mean I can learn it on my own without the snake summoning head member teaching me? If that is not what it means it might be good to take it out of the clan description or adding to it so it is a bit more clear.
Rp Sample:

Shin and Cain were sent on a simple recon mission to gather info on a small settlement south of Iwa that was said to be housing bandits. "Why are they sending me out on a mission about Bandits! My power should be used on stronger enemy not lowly bandits that have to steal from the weak! Cain was muttering on and on about how he was Superior to these low life and how great he was, this annoyed Shin as he said "They probably sent us on a recon mission to see if we were able to not cause a large fight on every mission we went on. So chill and lets just get this done." As Shin talked, Cain got a look at the fangs in his mouth and shivered, Shin's snake like looks bothered Cain, and he knew all to well how the poison Shin held in those teeth could turn the tide in a fight. As he thought Cain sighed saying "Your right, like always, lets just try getting this done before I die of boredom." Shin smirked as Cain said the word 'Die:" as they moved closer to the settlement.

Landing in the tree together Shin and Cain looked threw the tree's at the so called bandit camp, nothing seemed ab normal, women gathering water, men moving fire logs and haling meats from dead animals. Shin patted Cain on the back and said " Use a transformation jutsu and head into the village as a wanderer, I'll stay high in the trees try and see any odd activity." Cain nodded and did as he asked use the jutsu and heading toward his target. While he did this Shin moved close to one of the far ends of the village hiding behind one of the larger buildings.

As Cain walked into the Village he was almost instantly surrounded by bandits, they smiled and waved their weapons around as one of the larger ones demanded any money or goods Cain had on him. Just as Shin thought Cain leaps forward to strike the bandit leader, and as Cain did this Shin made a hand seal, just as Cains punch connected he exploded killing the bandit and sending Cain flying into a building servilely injured. As the explosion dazed the other bandits Shin used his Doton style mud slide justu from behind the building sending ruble and raging earth toward to confused bandits. As the waved of earth took out the group, more bandits sprung forth toward Shin, he used his Douzo Gasu, as a poison gas shot from his mouth and surrounded the group charging him they all broke out into a frenzy of coughing and wheezing as the poison took a hold of there lungs. Thinking he was in the clear to make his escape he felt a kick in his back sending him toward Cain. Rolling as he hit the ground Shin see's the bandit that landed the kick moving in for another attack. Making a hand seal Shin used Nan no Kazo he stretched his neck to dodge the frontal attack from the Bandit moving his head around his body and chomping into the bandits juggler with his fangs injecting a fever inducing toxin. Shins Neck slithered back into place as he say the damage he caused and heard Cain gasping for air behind him.

"I... I don't know what happen." Blood spurt from Cains mouth as he spoke. Shin smiled and said " I blew you up as a distraction, I knew you would charge in not paying attention so I placed a explosive tag in your coat while I patted you on the back." Shin flashed his fangs in a wide grin as he spoke the shock on Cains face was like a drug to Shin. "Why!" Blood Sprung from his mouth and coughed several times before saying "The Village will kill you for what you did! Shin left out a huge laugh saying 'You mean the Village is going to kill me for taking out the Bandit Village you charged into looking for a fight? I simple tried backing you up but there were to many for me to save you after you were hit with a explosive tag on of the bandits hit you with.If anything I'll get ranked up for this." Shins grin simple got larger as Cain realized this was Shins plain from the start of the mission, the Kage would have no problem believing that Cain rushed in with his mission history, Shin would get away with this and Cain knew it. "You b*****d I won-" Shin got tired of hearing Cain blabbering and tossed a Kunai into to his neck shutting him up mid sentence.

Shin headed back to Iwa after pulling the kunai from Cains neck, he launched his body into a few trees and cut his leg in a few places on his way home to avoid any suspicion about taking out the village with no wounds. Shin knew this would move him closer to ranking up and even closer to absolute power!

-o-Havik-o-


Gaara_CTru

PostPosted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 2:39 am


Mistah BomChickaWahWah
No, it's the highest ranking ninja in the clan who gets it, but if the clan creator and another ninja are the same rank then it goes to the clan creator. Well that's what Lance told me long ago, that might be different now.


Well this ninja for this clan is starting at Jounin.. so.. wouldnt i be the clan head for that clan..? sense i;d be the highest, and the other person cant have 2 clan heads..
PostPosted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 2:40 am


Lament_of_the_lonely
Righty then, so you can go on and be clan head.


ok, sweet.

Gaara_CTru


A faint smile

Dedicated Friend

PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 2:37 pm


Hinote Tosatsu
Mondude: Denied. Your information section is severely lacking, and your sample reads as if you’re just trying to show the different traits of the bloodline. Yes, we want to see the bloodline’s traits, but we also need to know you can use it, and use it WELL.

Kuro: About the same as Mondude. Your info is a bit better, but you seem to have added your own information from somewhere else, which is not on the actual bloodline as we have it. As for your sample, it leaves a lot to be desired. You only really used one technique, and didn’t really show much about the bloodline. Just like with Mondude’s, it feels as if you were just trying to force details into a short story, and didn’t really put much effort to it.

Why is that bloodline so popular lately anyways?

Gaara: Because Jade made that clan, I’m just going to let her check yours when she gets everything settled. Sorry. I just feel more comfortable that way.

Shay: You’re right. I don’t think Meta has posted since out last guild wide sign in. Go ahead and finish your Nara app, but I’d recommend dropping Cobra a PM to check your Konaga app too. If Meta has quit for one reason or another, the spot is open.

Emo: Denied. You did pretty good on the info section, but your sample showed absolutely nothing. All you did was sit at a table, then put somebody in a genjutsu. There’s a lot more to the bloodline than that.

Kaze: Well, I’m technically not allowed to judge this. That makes me rather happy, cause I’m sure that pink text would give me a headache. Anyways, I’d say PM Luo. He may not be on the bloodline team, but nobody knows the Ushio better than him, and I’m willing to trust his judgment.

Vanilla: Sorry, but would you mind using a darker font? That’s way too much text for me to want to read in a small/light font. Paragraphs would also be nice.


Those who reposted, since Hinote addressed you guys the first time, he should do it again. If he's okay with me doing so, then I will.
PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 3:01 pm


Crap, I'd forgotten.

~

Emo: About the table... For some reason I'd thought you were at one in the first sample. I think I must have been distracted. Anyways, the sample is mostly acceptable, but for one main thing. The red dust. That's not actually a part of the bloodline as we have it as far as I can tell. Honestly, how exactly it counters things isn't shown well at all in our version, but that technique isn't available. If you want to make it go ahead though.

Also, on the Tsukuyomi like genjutsu. You don't actually get separated from reality yourself when using it. You just make the enemy see what you want them to see. You can use it that way if you really want, but I foresee people taking advantage of that.

Anyways, the sample is mostly fine other than that, so I'm going to go ahead and say approved.

Mondude: You didn't change anything as far as I can tell. Refer to what I said that Jade has conveniently quoted here.

@Anyone else I missed: I didn't see your repost, so post it again.

Hinote Tosatsu
Vice Captain

Eloquent Lunatic



Gielwich


Lonely Phantom

PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 3:41 pm


Rpc Name: {this is for a secondary character that I have not came up with a name with yet}

Village: {This is also pending, because i need to figure what village isnt connected to my other character somehow.}

Rank: AS {since this character with obviously not be auto-ranked}

Bloodline or Clan applied for: Chiroku Clan's Anigan

What you know about the clan/bl: As I can figure, it allows you to have attributes similar to animals, and only animals the user had seen. The anigan is activated by emotional pressure/stress. The person can only can use one animal at a time until the fourth stage, and something about Raiton temporarily stopping transformation. people from this clan are more agile.

Rp Sample:
{Since I have no idea for what the name I'll choose for this clan member is going to be, I'll pretend to Make my current Gaia avatar, and my username, Keishi_rin, would be the name of the character, for now.}

Keishi huffed, as the wind had blew in her hair, and her Kimono had flipped in the wind, in which her boots, and her upper thigh could be shown from her stature. She fanned herself, as she gently walked along the road, with a little boy whom had seem 5 or even younger, completely miserable; from the loss of of his best friend: a small puppy, as most Inuzukas were at that age. The leaves had started to flow in the wind of fire country, as the small boy called out his companion's name. Keishi smiled, from the boy's concern over his dog, put was annoyed her is that the young boy would let his best friend disappear without notice. Then, she decided to do something over the attempt of finding this fluffy, albino husky pup that he cared for so much. Keishi shut her fan with a click! as she lifted up the boy, and let him piggy-back her, as she activated the Anigan. the young boy looked in awe, as She had the aspects of the Cheetah on her side. Her speed would greatly increase, but shortly would loose her breath with ease. She formed a set of handseals, and whispered the words "Ikimono Sacchi- Animal Sense" as she ran down the road with a fast pace; stopping every once in awhile to catch her breath for her very low lung capacity. She found the young albino pup, as he was by a cliff at the edge of the woods, surrounded by large, carnivorous animals, and one simple, Rabies-filled moose, that were slowly making the pup fall over the cliff. Keishi was panicked, as she climbed a tree rather quickly, as she placed the young boy up in the tree to keep him from harm. "You are to stay here, young one; I'll have your puppy here in no time." Keishi smiled, as she switched the ability type similar to a flea, as they could jump the farthest and highest compared to most mammals; so the insect would help. She jumped along the trees, as the anigan was draining her chakra; she made it to the scene. "Oh dear...." She sighed; as she looked at the group of animals. SHe frowned, as she looked at the animals, and used a set of hand seals; trying to use "Ikimono Ishindenshin- Animal Telepathy." as she telepathically told the animals to walk away from the poor puppy, as it had done no harm to them. She was surprised how they could stare at her so easily, as she just entered the area. She, one by one, repeated the telepathic message, till the point of the moose; whom ignored her and kicked the puppy; whom yelped and fell off the cliff. Keishi's eyes widened at this point; as she dashed after the pup, and jumped down the cliff. She grabbed the puppy; and they were basically was falling to their never-ending death; but then, she had an idea, as she gained the sense of a monkey; in which she hoped she would see a root hanging out of the side of the cliff.... and luckily; she did. She grabbed it as a jolt from the root bounced the two alittle; with a small bark coming from the puppy. they were half way down the cliff, as she had to put the pup on her back, as she ripped her kimono to create a sling for the pup itself to be carried in. She pulled herself farther up the cliff, as she slowly climbed the cliff itself. Keishi was having a hard time climbing up the cliff, so she had suddenly had turned into an orangutan. She was climbing more quickly now, as she made it the top of the cliff within a half an hour; something that may of took 4 more hours to do. She turned to her normal self; as the pup jumped out of it's sling, and ran towards the direction of his master; whom had which some how climbed down the tree; and came to greet the puppy. Keishi smiled, as the puppy jumped on the young boy, and licked his face multiple times. She laughed, as she opened up her fan, and walked back with the small boy, to the village; and hopefully, they do not get the pup lost again.

Hopefully this makes the requirements; if not, I'll easily make it longer.
PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 3:44 pm


Rpc Name: Tsubasa Deido
Village: Otogakure
Rank: Academy student.
Bloodline or Clan applied for: Suigetsu
What you know about the clan/bl: This ninja can change their bodies into water. They are weak to Raiton and Hyoton, taking large amounts of damage from Raiton and being frozen by Hyoton. And must constantly drink water. They are more skilled in Suiton than others. They can change their bodies to make their limbs more muscular, allowing them to carry heavy objects. They can also meld with bodies of water, Allowing for quick and easy travel. They can even use this ability to go as far as healing themselves when merged with water.
Rp Sample: Tsubasa was by one of his favorite places. It was a large freshwater lake, and he sat against a rock, with one leg bent back. He was drinking a bottle of water, sighing. He had to drink the water, a rather depressing limitation of his condition. He was just staring off into the distance, not really focusing on anything, when he heard a shocking battle cry from above. A ninja in a cloud headband jumped over the rock, katana at ready, he took Tsubasa completely by surprise, and if he didn’t do something right away, he would be split, completely in half. Tsubasa quickly spat out, “Hydration technique!” He then sunk into a puddle, avoiding the attack, and a cruel death. He stood up in his human form again, and his foe had moved back, sheathed his sword, and began to make handseals for an unknown jutsu. Well Tsubasa could not let that happen. He charged forward, attempting to clock the cloud ninja right in the face with his fist. Tsubasa then heard his target shout out, “Heki no Jutsu!” And his body began to flow with electrical sparks. As Tsubasa touched his foe, he flew backwards, his fist burned. “AHHH” Tsubasa cried out, as he took a huge amount of damage from that attack, being made completely out of water. As he steadied himself, the Kumo ninja punched him right into the water, sending him sprawling. He then quickly used another technique, Great Water Arm. He reformed out of the water, and charged at his opponent, punching him with a much more muscular arm, and sent him flying into the rock, despite the ninja’s attempt to block. Tsubasa picked up the injured ninja, and was about to clobber him again, when the ninja kicked him again, into the water once more. When the cloud ninja pulled out his sword again; Tsubasa used his Hydration Technique, and performed another jutsu, Water arms. 4 arms shot out of the water at his foe, and they snaked towards him. The Kumo swordsman slashed one, and another, but his arm was grabbed by the third, which picked him up, and the fourth grabbed his neck, preventing his scream as eh was strangled to death.

Crimsondot


iTammie-chan

PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 12:01 am


Hinote Tosatsu
Crap, I'd forgotten.

~

Emo: About the table... For some reason I'd thought you were at one in the first sample. I think I must have been distracted. Anyways, the sample is mostly acceptable, but for one main thing. The red dust. That's not actually a part of the bloodline as we have it as far as I can tell. Honestly, how exactly it counters things isn't shown well at all in our version, but that technique isn't available. If you want to make it go ahead though.

Also, on the Tsukuyomi like genjutsu. You don't actually get separated from reality yourself when using it. You just make the enemy see what you want them to see. You can use it that way if you really want, but I foresee people taking advantage of that.

Anyways, the sample is mostly fine other than that, so I'm going to go ahead and say approved.

Mondude: You didn't change anything as far as I can tell. Refer to what I said that Jade has conveniently quoted here.

@Anyone else I missed: I didn't see your repost, so post it again.


Thanks Hinote, Iʻll keep that in mind.
PostPosted: Sat Dec 18, 2010 1:38 pm


@Havik: That was a pretty alright application but... there are a few complications that will unfortunately permit me from approving it.

-) You sorta got the concept of the requirements for the True Form, but you left out a big issue. The killing of an enemy in cold blood. Now this doesn't necessarily mean an Enemy that is attacking you. You can, for example, kill an enemy that has given up and/or begged for mercy. Then slaughtered them. Or, commit murder to another Nin. against another Village. The more gruesome the better! blaugh

You indeed did illustrate some of it in the Rp Sample but I like to see you cover every single aspect when defining the Clan.

-)The True Form isn't multiple headed. It is composed of multiple snakes. Which is one of the reasons the form is able to release a torrent of snakes upon the opponent.

-) To answer your question, no simple Genin can learn a Summoning. The chakra required is tremendous. It is rather reserved for only those with tremendous chakra reserves and/or being a host of a Bijuu. The Summons that the Naga Summon, are regular poisonous snakes that do your bidding. They are produced from your own body, and though they get stronger as you progress, they will never be as strong as the original Snake Companion that you can start with. To learn this form of summoning, you will have to learn from it through the Clan Head because our type of Summoning requires no contract.

-) Though this is rather minimal in importance, it still is rather important. Tell me more about what Shin looks like. I can tell you of many characters in the guild that have Fangs in their mouths. Tell me what snake appearance does he follow after?

-) The Rp was alright but... It had a few complications indeed. Try to make your sentences and the Rp Sample, in it's entirety, more flowing. Check over your words and spelling a bit. =^^=

-) Good job on the evil part! Keep it up and soon you'll be branding the name of the Naga Clan! twisted Just work on what I asked and I'll be happy to review it once more.
 

Panthers7
Crew


BlisscuitsAndGravy

Divine Sex Symbol

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 18, 2010 11:00 pm


Rpc Name: Kyousuke Hatake
Village: Kumo (Hopefully)
Rank: AC I guess
Bloodline or Clan applied for: Hatake
What you know about the clan/bl: Allows the user to have a special White Chakra that increases the power of weapon and the cutting size of them. They also must have Raiton Element.
Rp Sample:
Kyo was on a Recon mission with his squad, Sara Ghost and Yukio Yami. They were all simple Genin and just had to check out some suspicious activity with their Jounin Leader, Shinsui Suou (DRAMA!!! XD JK). They had to go into the mountains and set up lookout points then gather info. Suou led each of the to their locations. Kyo to the North, Sara to the West, and Yukio to the East. Suou was traveling through the mountains around the village to make sure nobody was breaking in. As Suou had gotten to a point that he wouldn't notice the approaching rogues from the North, a few men creeped up from behind Kyo. They kicked him over and laughed heartily. "Hey kid! What the hell are you doing up here?" Kyo quickly sprung to his feet and pulled out his Chakra Sabre. "So you're the guys who've been snooping around, aren't you? Well you aren't gonna make it to the Cloud Village! Not if I have anything to say about it!"

Kyo now charged forward at the enemies. There were three of them and they were about D-Rank Rogues. Kyo slashed a few times with his sabre before getting kicked down again. "Damn kid! You're really getting on my nerves!" one of them yelled before punching him in the face. Kyo went down, but got up again. "THAT'S IT!!! I'm tired of fooling around!!!" Kyo then concentrated his Chakra into the Chakra Sabre and his Chakra wrapped around the blade, increasing the width and the length of the blade. Kyo charged forward and slashed one of the rogues across the chest. He yelled and the other two came in for an attack. Kyo then slashed each of them on the arms. Quickly, Yukio and Sara noticed what was going on and called Suou for help. Suou came and was quickly there to rescue Kyo. "Thanks Kyo-kun! Looks like I'll be taking it from here!" Now that Suou was there, Kyo, Sara, and Yukio got back to the village as fast as they could before that section of mountains had been completely blown to pieces.
 
PostPosted: Sun Dec 19, 2010 8:41 am


Quote:
The True Form isn't multiple headed. It is composed of multiple snakes. Which is one of the reasons the form is able to release a torrent of snakes upon the opponent.


There isn't any description of "True form" so I just ran with what I could come up with from the photo.


Quote:
To answer your question, no simple Genin can learn a Summoning. The chakra required is tremendous. It is rather reserved for only those with tremendous chakra reserves and/or being a host of a Bijuu. The Summons that the Naga Summon, are regular poisonous snakes that do your bidding. They are produced from your own body, and though they get stronger as you progress, they will never be as strong as the original Snake Companion that you can start with. To learn this form of summoning, you will have to learn from it through the Clan Head because our type of Summoning requires no contract.


There was a small mention of this in the description of the clan but in the ability's you said Snake summoning, and there is no Naga version in the summoning lands, there is also nothing in the justu section about summoning snakes from your own body so again I had to assume.


Quote:
Good job on the evil part! Keep it up and soon you'll be branding the name of the Naga Clan! icon_twisted.gif Just work on what I asked and I'll be happy to review it once more


Thanks, I thought the evil was done pretty well, I will get working on another app in the next couple of days, kinda busy, but now that the couple of thing's I wasn't completely sure are are cleared up I should be able to post a sample that covers everything.

-o-Havik-o-


Bisquix

Shirtless Genius

PostPosted: Sun Dec 19, 2010 9:29 am


Panthers7
@Havik: That was a pretty alright application but... there are a few complications that will unfortunately permit me from approving it.

-) You sorta got the concept of the requirements for the True Form, but you left out a big issue. The killing of an enemy in cold blood. Now this doesn't necessarily mean an Enemy that is attacking you. You can, for example, kill an enemy that has given up and/or begged for mercy. Then slaughtered them. Or, commit murder to another Nin. against another Village. The more gruesome the better! blaugh

You indeed did illustrate some of it in the Rp Sample but I like to see you cover every single aspect when defining the Clan.

-)The True Form isn't multiple headed. It is composed of multiple snakes. Which is one of the reasons the form is able to release a torrent of snakes upon the opponent.

-) To answer your question, no simple Genin can learn a Summoning. The chakra required is tremendous. It is rather reserved for only those with tremendous chakra reserves and/or being a host of a Bijuu. The Summons that the Naga Summon, are regular poisonous snakes that do your bidding. They are produced from your own body, and though they get stronger as you progress, they will never be as strong as the original Snake Companion that you can start with. To learn this form of summoning, you will have to learn from it through the Clan Head because our type of Summoning requires no contract.

-) Though this is rather minimal in importance, it still is rather important. Tell me more about what Shin looks like. I can tell you of many characters in the guild that have Fangs in their mouths. Tell me what snake appearance does he follow after?

-) The Rp was alright but... It had a few complications indeed. Try to make your sentences and the Rp Sample, in it's entirety, more flowing. Check over your words and spelling a bit. =^^=

-) Good job on the evil part! Keep it up and soon you'll be branding the name of the Naga Clan! twisted Just work on what I asked and I'll be happy to review it once more.

What about me? o-o
PostPosted: Sun Dec 19, 2010 2:37 pm


-o-Havik-o-
Quote:
The True Form isn't multiple headed. It is composed of multiple snakes. Which is one of the reasons the form is able to release a torrent of snakes upon the opponent.


There isn't any description of "True form" so I just ran with what I could come up with from the photo.


Quote:
To answer your question, no simple Genin can learn a Summoning. The chakra required is tremendous. It is rather reserved for only those with tremendous chakra reserves and/or being a host of a Bijuu. The Summons that the Naga Summon, are regular poisonous snakes that do your bidding. They are produced from your own body, and though they get stronger as you progress, they will never be as strong as the original Snake Companion that you can start with. To learn this form of summoning, you will have to learn from it through the Clan Head because our type of Summoning requires no contract.


There was a small mention of this in the description of the clan but in the ability's you said Snake summoning, and there is no Naga version in the summoning lands, there is also nothing in the justu section about summoning snakes from your own body so again I had to assume.


Quote:
Good job on the evil part! Keep it up and soon you'll be branding the name of the Naga Clan! icon_twisted.gif Just work on what I asked and I'll be happy to review it once more


Thanks, I thought the evil was done pretty well, I will get working on another app in the next couple of days, kinda busy, but now that the couple of thing's I wasn't completely sure are are cleared up I should be able to post a sample that covers everything. Alrighty then. ^^ Once you are finished PM me and I will look over it again.

@Azure: Give me a moment and I will check over it as soon as possible.
 

Panthers7
Crew


Neru Sakudu

PostPosted: Sun Dec 19, 2010 3:07 pm


Rpc Name: Sakudu, Neru
Village: Otogakure ( Possibly )
Rank: Academy
Bloodline or Clan applied for: Konaga
What you know about the clan/bl: Konagas are wracked with a seemingly infinite amount of pain to the point that very few survive birth. The reason being their chakra is so abundant that they can not hold all of it. They often have melt downs which cause their chakra to burst out of their body, in such a powerful burst that it can leave scars on their body. The scars seem like burns, but through careful meditation and thought the "chakra burns" Are capable of being removed. They also rarely survive childhood from the pain. They learn to control their chakra, and to use special techniques which allow them to augment their bodies in an innumerable amount of ways. Every member uses this curse/blessing in their own unique way, and as such they are drawn to eachother to tell what they know about their people's "absent" history and their special techniques.
Rp Sample:

Neru sat in his bed, looking out his window over the entire village. Neru looked out the window, wishing to be far, far, Farther than he had ever wanted to go, from that Hospital bed. " Why... Why do I have to be so sickly? " He said, coughing onto one of his hands, blood coming out.

" Neru... You should lie down. I'll get you something to look at. " The nurse said, touching Neru and laying him down and moving toward the window, she began to close the blinds before hearing a little tapping noise like that of skin on the cold blindingly white tile floor. " Neru! You shouldn't jump out of bed like that. If you promise to lay down, I'll leave the window drapes drawn. Ok? " The nurse said smiling and kneeling next to Neru.

" No, it isn't that... " Neru said, coughing away from the nice nurse. " It's the men outside the hospital. They aren't nice. " He said, disappearing and then reappearing behind her, his legs seeming to glow with chakra. his arms were flying at almost unseeable speeds. Atleast to the untrained nurse. Neruturned, away from the ribbons for drapes that were left from the shuriken and kunai that had been thrown through it. Neru disappeared again and reappeared where he had originated, his arms seeming to be burned. In truth he had augmented his biceps, triceps, and his hands, maximizing not only his arm speed, but his hand reaction and durability. The reason his augments were so precise was because with that the potency was condensed to the point it was on par with a Kage Konaga's entire arm augmentation. He had however Augmented it twice at once, which wracked his arms with pure pain, but that didn't matter right now, he WOULD cry later, but for right now he had to protect the person he had decided to. He swung his arm, launching well over two hundred Kunai and shuriken. The speed of the projectiles was so great they punctured the walls, and went through some of the enemy ninja. The ones that missed went through about five more walls before hitting the wall on the opposite side of the hospital.

" Oh my... Neru, what is going on? " The nurse asked, breathing heavily, but in a wavy way, so it sounded like she was holding back tears. " Neru, please stop! You don't have to do this! Please, you could be hurting innocents! " She said finally letting out those tears that had seemed to be coming from the beginning of her little speaking moment.

" I'm sorry... But we have to go now. " Neru said, grabbing her hand and pulling her into his arms. " To the middle of the hospital. " He said, running quickly out of the room.

~ Some time later ~

Neru sat in the middle of the hospital, or atleast what was left of it. He had lost control, and destroyed it... The entire building was gone. Everyone inside, friend foe, doctor, patient, even the nurse he had decided to protect from everything else. His entire body had burns all over it. Neru pulled his knees close to his chest and began to breath heavily, faster and faster until it turned into sobbing. Not only because he had killed the Nurse, not only because he was now free from the hell that was that hospital bed, but because he was in so much pain. He had DECIDED to cry then, because he had DECIDED earlier not to cry until he was safe.

A Man walked up to Neru and smiled. " Welcome to the world of the Konaga..." He said laughing jumping away from Neru as Neru stood still sobbing. " Come on, release your power! You have a gift amoung the Konaga! You are the future of the Konaga! " The man said smiling and laughing, slowly building faster and faster until his laughed became a loud booming roll of thunder, much the way Neru's sobbing had become a shrill screech of pain.

Neru's chakra welled up, and surrounded him, the burns on his body slowly becoming worse and worse. His chakra began to take shape. Slowly at first, but soon it was forming quickly. It formed into a snake's head and seemed to rear back. Neru's chest suddenly burst forwards as he stopped his sobbing and let out a scream of pure agony, standing on his toes his arms outstreached. He began to convulse as the snake's mouth opened up and hundreds of thousands of smaller snakes shot out of it's mouth. Neru's clothes began to burn away. Neru fell on his back, completely out. He was barely clinging to life as it was.

Suddenly Neru sat up in his bed, breathing heavily. He touched every last inch of his body, skin and clothes. Neru breathed a sigh of releif. He was alive, it was all a dream. Tears streamed down his cheeks. Not from happiness, but from the event that followed his happy discovery. He was looking out his window wishing he was far far away from the room he was in. He coughed, blood was on the hand he used to block it... The nurse entered.......
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