Mitsukai Kanji
(Continued)
She paused, taking another breath, which resulted in a hiccup sound. It remained that way, and the man even placed a hand on her knee in a kind of reassuring way. She wiped her snotty face, and continued.
“So, Cory and I went home, he stayed with me, knowing his Mother would be pretty pissed since he disobeyed her and went to Georgia. When I got home, I immediately ripped off my clothes, wanting nothing to do with the clothing she had died around. I bet Cory loved that…” She gave a tearful laugh, and continued.
“I changed into some old tee shirt, then begun to paint Hana. Cory tried to sooth me, in the end we…..I was just so alone…”
The doctor filled in the blank perfectly; Mitsukai did so with her memories.
It was a couple hours after Hana’s death, and all Mitsukai needed to do was get this painting right. She wasn’t doing a good job though, and how could she, considering her face was covered with tears and snot. Every few moments, she’d let out a heaving hiccup, or a poor inhale of breathe.
“Mitsukai.”
Cory had been sitting there, watching the whole scene. Every few moments or so, he’d kindly ask her to sit down. She ignored him, and kept to her work. It persisted.
“Mitsukai.”
“Cory, I need to finish this..”
“I know, but can you please come here.”
She let out another hiccup as she tried to shade Hana’s skin, all it did was mess up the stroke, which made the tears come harder.
“Mitsukai.”
The voice was now a breath, right beside her ear. He placed one hand protectively on her waist as he turned her around. “Please, you can work on it tomorrow.”
After a moment of uncertainty, Mitsukai nodded yes, wiping her tears on her arm. He grabbed a handkerchief, which she faintly remembered him grabbing about an hour ago, and begun to wipe away her tears. It was a daunting task, considering as he wiped old ones away, new ones formed.
He must have realized that, since instead of focusing on wiping away her tears, he lead her towards the bed and sat her down, sitting next to her. “It’ll be alright…” He mumbled, as he wiped away her tears. Mitsukai shock her head no, knowing it wouldn’t be all right, she felt so alone. To ease her loneliness, she cuddled into him.
Moments passed like that, him holding her, her crying. Finally, she ran out of tears. So instead, she just sat there, listening to the drumming of his heart. She wondered if her heart could beat, and she wanted to make it pound. She felt so alone, and she needed someone to care. Thorne hadn’t cared, nor had Mari. Hana was now dead. Joseph was hundreds of miles away. All that remained was Cory, sweet Cory, the one who had always been there for her. She looked up at him, into his eyes. He must have noticed the change in atmosphere, because his heart begun to pound.
“Cory…”
She whispered, before she placed her lips on his, slow and almost uncertain. He pushed her away.
“No, not now, I don’t want you to…”
Mitsukai had a feeling the word he wanted to say was regret. He was always so sweet, always there for her, and she was so alone.
“Cory, I need you…”
She meant it, and as each word left her mouth, both of their hearts begun to beat louder. She could hear his now, feel it as it seeped through her soul. She wanted him, more now than ever. He realized that.
Then, her lips collided into his, hard and rough, as if he was the only one left in the world. At that moment, he was. She felt with satisfaction as his hand trailed her bare leg, secretly glad she striped down into an oversized shirt the second they got home. She trailed her lips along his jaw, and down his neck. Then, he shifted position, where he was hovering her. Their breathing was shallow and fast, and Mitsukai was enjoying every minute of it. She needed to be loved, needed to be touched.
Then, they had done the unthinkable; breath as fast as their movements, hearts quick, and skin sweaty. Mitsukai wasn’t sure when she forgot it was Cory she was touching, and had convinced herself it was Thorne. Maybe it was her heart taking over, what she really wanted was shining through. Nevertheless, when they were done, she laid there feeling guilty and hurt. She missed Thorne, although he was never hers to begin with. She wanted him to be the one holding her, she wanted to hear his smile just as she could hear Cory’s as he mumbled ‘I love you’ before falling asleep.
And, once he fell asleep, Mitsukai crawled out of bed carefully, and crept towards her bathroom. Standing in the room, she looked at her naked body in the mirror, thoughts spiraling in her head of how she ruined everything, and she was alone because she deserved to be.
“I wanted him to be Thorne, and I felt guilty about it. Nonetheless, I lived the fantasy, deciding I hit the end of Thorne and I, being dead inside, what worse could I do?” Again, she paused. Her eyes were now dried, and she had calmed. It was just storytelling now, letting him know what was wrong with her so he could fix it. Inside, she was growing numb.
“So, we played house, I guess you could say. Through the funeral, he held my hand. Even after the funeral, we continued in our merry way, eventually he had to leave, his Mom wanted him gone… What I didn’t tell him was that I was thankful he left.”
Her mind trailed off to the departure. It was nothing to special, him making sure she was okay, and trying to make up excuses to stay. She ignored him, sent him off, and turned off her phone for the remaining week.
“After he left, well, that’s where my Mom decided she was going to be a b***h.”
For once, Mitsukai’s room felt empty, and she liked it. She no longer had to act as if she was upset, or that she liked having someone’s company. It was far nicer being alone, not that Mari realized that.
“Can I come in?”
Mitsukai didn’t have time to answer, because she walked in, and looked at her with a sad face.
“What.”
“I’m leaving.”
This caused the room’s atmosphere to tension. Obviously, she wasn’t talking about heading to the grocery store.
“What do you mean, leaving?”
Mari bit her lip before continuing, and gave her daughter a sad look.
“To Japan.”
“I’m not going with you.”
“I know”
Mari held up one one-way-ticket to Japan. This caused Mitsukai to drop everything.
“Everything is yours, the house, the cars, the money. You’ll never have to work again. I’m starting over.”
“No, you’re abandoning me.”
The tone made Mari jump, and Mitsukai glared. She wasn’t doing this, she wasn’t leaving! Not now, then Mitsukai really wouldn’t have anyone. It was one thing to hate her, but abandonment was another. She needed family.
“You’ll be eighteen soon anyways, and before that, you’ll be safe at Genius. I have to do this.”
“No! You have to be a selfish b***h!”
It was all that Mari ever did, think about herself. She was selfish, and rude, and everything else bad about a person. Mitsukai felt her throat burn of venom and her vision was coated red. As if noticing, Mari backed away. “I’m sorry.”
The next day, Mari left, carrying only a suitcase and some cash to her name, only enough to get herself to Japan and to her Mother’s house. Mitsukai was left with everything, not that she wanted it.
“After that, I packed up everything and came back. That’s about all there is to it.”
The guy wrote a while longer, making sure he had everything, then he looked up at her with a smile. “Well, you’re free to go.”
This shocked Mitsukai, who looked up at him with a questioning look.
“That’s it, I come here and just tell you stories? You don’t tell me how to fix my life, I just tell you stories?”
“Sometimes letting things out is the best medicine.”
“I’m glad I’m not paying for you.”
“See you Thursday.”
Mitsukai nodded, and got up to leave. The truth was, she felt far lighter letting everything out. Certainly not fixed, she was probably still near the point of being thrown in the crazy town, but she felt better. Maybe this therapy stuffed worked, although she was doubtful.
