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 Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2007 10:24 pm
BakaTulip Things could be worse... I mean look at Virginia Tech. What a tragedy... imagine all those students who lost their lives... I personally feeel suicide is spitting in the face of everyone who had their life robbed of them before their time. I'm sick of people ******** saying that. I'm sorry BT. But yeah, things always could be worse. But does that mean I have to ******** suck it up and live with this misery 24/7? I don't think so. I haven't been in a hostage situation. And I probably never will be. I can't relate to their plight. Or the plight of their families. I just can't. All I know is the pain I feel is too much for me. Much too much. I almost died once guys, when I was diagnosed. It was a horrendous experience.... So yeah. While I don't know their pain. I have pain of my own. That they probably never felt. What I'm saying is, all we can ever know is our own pain. That's all. No matter how hard we try, we'll never know the pain of another. But whatever. Not trying to argue.
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Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 4:07 am
A.Dream.Within.A.Dream. BakaTulip Things could be worse... I mean look at Virginia Tech. What a tragedy... imagine all those students who lost their lives... I personally feeel suicide is spitting in the face of everyone who had their life robbed of them before their time. I'm sick of people ******** saying that. I'm sorry BT. But yeah, things always could be worse. But does that mean I have to ******** suck it up and live with this misery 24/7? I don't think so. I haven't been in a hostage situation. And I probably never will be. I can't relate to their plight. Or the plight of their families. I just can't. All I know is the pain I feel is too much for me. Much too much. I almost died once guys, when I was diagnosed. It was a horrendous experience.... So yeah. While I don't know their pain. I have pain of my own. That they probably never felt. What I'm saying is, all we can ever know is our own pain. That's all. No matter how hard we try, we'll never know the pain of another. But whatever. Not trying to argue. -nod- I don't like it when people relate everyone's pain to everyone else's. Lana always used to tell me, that she's lived through more pain, so she's the mature one, she's the right one. But we all handle pain differently, and different things are challenges for us. And I've really gotten sick of how people tell me that my pain isn't real pain, that what I feel isn't real. That's all I've been told, lately. Everything I feel isn't real.
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Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 5:29 am
I never said anyone's pain wasn't real. And I know this is cliched but count your damned blessings, focus for once on the things that are good versus the things that are bad and if you say there are no good things that;s a lie.
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Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 7:21 am
I always focus on the damn good things.
That's how I live my life.
But right now I'm not able to...I know life's everyday blessings are there, I just can't find them right now. I have a bit of tunnel vision in that respect, I suppose.
x.X;;
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Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 9:15 am
*Sigh* Okay... I need help...
Lately I've been feeling like my girlfriend is really really distant. I know she has a lot of work, end of the semester stuff, and I really respect that... but I feel like she never has any time for me at all. That I'm just not important enough or something like that. I don't think she means it, but I don't even have the time or the opportunity to talk to her about it. She's always doing work or meeting with friends she hasn't seen in a long time and I get that. But I feel like she has time for all these other things, but never any time for me... I don't think I've actually seen her look at me, really look at me, for over a month. I feel like I'm being a bother because I keep calling her. And I just... I called and asked her if she maybe wanted to meet in the library later and do work but she said she had to work on a project... and when she said "bye" she sounded distant... maybe I'm blowing things out of proportion but I just cried after that... I don't know what to do. I don't wanna break up with her, I'm not exactly a chick magnet, so finding her was really special... but... I just... I dunno....
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Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 9:18 am
*hugs Baka* Oh honey. I know how it feels.. went through the same thing with my fiance a week or so ago. Give it time and at the end of the semester, confront her about it. Make sure you mention at least a million times that you think finding her was really special. Hopefully she is just wearing thin right now and doesn't mean to push you aside. Keep us updated, huh?
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Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 9:23 am
I'm afraid to say it, how special I think she is... I don't wanna come on too strong and push her away even more, and right now she's even mroe out of it because a friend of a good friend of hers died at the VT shooting... and I'm kinda sick because this "end of the semester" started at Spring Break 4 weeks ago... And she even bailed on plans we'd made over spring break due to a prior engagement she'd forgotten about and then got sick...
I think we're planning on going to Maine together in May but I'm afraid she'll bail on that too... I just... I dunno.. I hate myself I feel like I brought this on... not the work. but the distance... like I'm pushing too hard...
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Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 12:05 pm
I dont think anyone's problems are not important. It's as it is said, everyone has their own problems and their own pain. People deal with these things differently.
But suicide, is not an option. You can find other ways to deal if you really tried.
And BT.. The distance is not your fault. If your girl cant understand that you guys being together means that you think she's special and that you want to spend time with her, then well, hate to say it but that's all on her chicka. If she needed some space, she should have said so. Try not to worry so much though. Maybe things will get back to normal once all the work ends.
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Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 12:16 pm
AkureiKnight I dont think anyone's problems are not important. It's as it is said, everyone has their own problems and their own pain. People deal with these things differently. But suicide, is not an option. You can find other ways to deal if you really tried. And BT.. The distance is not your fault. If your girl cant understand that you guys being together means that you think she's special and that you want to spend time with her, then well, hate to say it but that's all on her chicka. If she needed some space, she should have said so. Try not to worry so much though. Maybe things will get back to normal once all the work ends. It's not that she doesn't understand, I think she does.. but I just wish I could get up the guts to talk to her about wishing we could spend more time together.. it's a major downer... I know her work is important... but dammit I need snuggles.
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Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 4:15 pm
I wanna be snuggled...
I hate crying over things that can't change...
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Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 9:52 pm
Moocat I wanna be snuggled... I hate crying over things that can't change... -huggles- Please feel better... D:
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Posted: Thu Apr 19, 2007 3:39 am
A.Dream.Within.A.Dream. Moocat I wanna be snuggled... I hate crying over things that can't change... -huggles- Please feel better... D: I'm trying, Dream. Sometimes it doesn't work...
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Posted: Thu Apr 19, 2007 4:10 pm
sorry i'm adding the the seious amount of tension and drama in this thread.
I've been feeling pretty ******** shitty lately too.
my depression is catching up with me... i've started cutting again.
I don't know why.
I just want to talk to people who actually give a damn.
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Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 7:32 pm
SubHumanRemains sorry i'm adding the the seious amount of tension and drama in this thread. I've been feeling pretty ******** shitty lately too. my depression is catching up with me... i've started cutting again. I don't know why. I just want to talk to people who actually give a damn. -sigh- Cutting sucks. I have Lana's goddamned name scarred on my leg, along with a ton of miscellanious(sp?) cuts. It sucks 'cause I need it to go away by swimming-time. D:<
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Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2007 6:48 am
Okay... *twitch* I hate facebook.. my girlfriend told me she has 7 essays and is very busy and the only way she can complete them n the next three weeks is to just work... but then I see she's meeting up with a friend this weekend, because he posted on her wall on facebook. *pout*
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