Welcome to Gaia! ::

Oh. . . . Did you ever go to post secondary.

She means school.

*starts singing softly* Give meeee a reason to sta-ay. I wanna be your lover, Baby, but you can't behave.

Just leave it be. I'm obviously not worth talking to. It's a common opinion these days.

*sigh* I've gotta go. Farewell, everyone. *bows, then vanishes*

O_O OMGosh. Geez, the things you forget when your head's about to explode. Well, whatever. I don't think I can stay online anymore. As you all saw, my absentee boyfriend finally showed back up only long enough to get my hopes up again before ignoring me. And well, with the way everyone else on here has been treating me (with the exception of the new girl who hasn't known me long enough to be expected to PM me, and the other newbie's who weren't around when I asked you all a dozen times to PM me because I needed your support) I don't reason to stay. Truth be told, I don't have any. Well, no, Tennyo_sama has PMed me and been nice to me. And that's it. My only reason to talk to anyone online. No one else on Kindreds, or any of my messengers have given me reason to stay online. If you can't be nice enough to talk to your friends when they talk to you, then you're going to lose them. Not that I expect any of you to care as it has become perfectly obvious to me that none of you care about me as you have not shown any evidence of it. If any of you care the slightest for me and actually want to contact me, well, you probably can't. I will probably discontinue using any messengers as well as discontinue coming on here. If you decide that maybe you don't hate me afterall then you can feel free to PM me. There is the chance that once I calm down I will be the pathetic clingy girl I usually am and will check my PMs hoping that someone cared enough to write, while knowing from experience that the chances of that are slim to none. If I actually keep the back bone I get when I'm pushed beyond my limits and don't come crawling back begging for you all to care, you can try my friend ___ who is able to contct me through e-mail, or you may e-mail me yourselves. I don't garrentee that I will check it. I have been hurting very badly for a very long time and have only had people around me who took advantage of my vulnerability, and no one around me who would support me. I feel like I'm breaking on the inside and I've felt like that for a year now. Part of me wants so much for me just to break so the pressure will go away, but I can't seem to let myself, for fear that I'll go insane or simply stop living. I am stuck in this perpertual loop of reaching out, having the person be compasionate towards me only to leave when I didn't do what they wanted. I hurt so much and I try to fight it so I don't get sucked under, only to find the pressure unbarible. Then I sink into depression, freeing myself from the pressure. Then I get scared that I'm going to do something I'll regret and I fight the pain only to find the under-tow to great for me to fight alone. So, I reach out to someone and the whole thing starts again. Is this how everybody lives? Does everyone else hurt as much as I do everyday? I know the Doctors say that I feel things more sharply then others, but this is rediculous. People shouldn't live in this kind of pain. We should be helping each other and not get defensive nor attack people when they reach out to us. It hurts me so much to see anther in pain. Doesn't everybody feel like that? I don't know what to think anymore, and I'm completely lost about what I should do. Kindreds was once a place where people got together and made each other's lives more barrable. It used to go three pages in the length of time it took me to write out a short message. Now, I can sit here for hours and not a sole even comes on. It shouldn't be like this. Have we forgot what the word "Kindred" means? We were Kindred souls who gathered to talk about anything and everything and let our cares of the day just float away. We lost our first guild and our first guild master. And somehow, we lost our spirit that day. We forgot what this guild stands for. One family, one thread. Old members have returned to our new home. And new ones have joined it. Even the original guild mster is back, even if only as a regular person on here. We have everything we need yet our spirit is still lacking. I wish I knew where to find the old pages. I wish they could be showed to the new generation of Kindreds. We are all family here and it's about time we started acting like it again.

I'm not one to talk. I've always been the odd one out. And I haven't been on for ages. But, I know why I keep coming back. It's because I remember the spirit of Kindreds: One Family, One Thread. Ever once and a while I catch a gimpse olf that spirit shinning through. The one that made me ask to join the guild when I hadn't been invited and didn't know a single person on it. Don't you oldies remembe what it was like in the beginning? There is no reason why that Kindreds can't be alive again.

eek

Asala!

Please, calm down.

Its not like nobody cares, we do care!

But you have to stop looking at everything as though they don't care.... crying

~huggles you close~

Hiya, Tennyo. How are you?