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 Posted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 3:58 pm
I'm in the pit orchestra, and tech week's coming up. At one point during a rehearsal (yesterday, actually), we had to stop because a bunch of people couldn't find their props, including a rubber chicken. Up in the pit (it's above the stage, weird, I know, but it's awesome), the band director said "Damnit, the show's coming to a grinding because of a rubber chicken." Another thing he said was "I'm tho thuper cool. I'm tho thuper cool that I can hardy thand it" with a lisp like he was some little kid. As rehearsals progress, his jokes usually get worse and worse, but for some reason, they didn't.
Our orchestra director (strings only, not for pit or mb or symphonic bands) makes jokes a lot, but they generally aren't funny. It's the way she says them, and the look she gives, and that's why you have to laugh. For instance, when we're playing and we start rushing, she stops us and says "Is this russian music?" and we all say no. Except when it is. Then we just scratch our heads and move on. mrgreen
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Posted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 4:22 pm
One day the power went out in the building so one of the directors came in and was trying to explain and was like
" Okay Okay I know since the lights are off its kinda hard to see me because I'm black but if you guys would just listen this could be nice and easy"
Consequently we all just started laughing more
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Who is Puffer Fish Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 4:16 pm
Hartmetz: ...James, there IS a point when raising your stand just makes it impossible to see...
James: *has stand at a point where it looks like he can't see H at all* What? There's no problem here.
And he was right. When we played, it was better than before.
Kinda like the day he didn't have his lyre fitted for his trumpet and he looked like he had a lyre for a giraffe. XDD
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Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 1:09 pm
omg omg omg this may come out offensive to mentally challenged people or deaf people so no offense when you read this!!!(all this post happened in one band period)
mahaney was yelling at the preppy flute section who dont undnerstand a word he says and they asked where they were supposed to play cause they didnt know (of course...) and so he starts acting retarded and like hes deaf and is doing dumb signs trying to say "start at number 14" omg it was terrible...the whole class cracked up except the preps who thought it was dumb cause THEY were the ones getting yelled at.wow...
then one time he told us that back in hiw mean days he was making the drumline march in the sand volleyball court and it was like sooper hot outside and he turns around then hears a thud so he turns back around and theres a bass drummer lieing on top of his drum with no limbs touching the ground.just kinnda dangling on his drum...everyone like freaked out about that.
then it was really hot inside the school because they couldnt get the heat to turn on and it was really hot outside so everyone was complaining and one of the prep flute players asked to go to the bathroom and he said no and she was like "but its hot in here" and he said oh well and shes like "im loosing my voice.i cant play without my voice" he cracks up and says "how do you play the flute with your voice?" by this point everyones cracking up laughing "in band you play with air not your voice" and hes nodding his head after that...
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Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 1:45 pm
"remember if you can do it with your mouth, then you can definatly do it with your hands. "
my bd told us this on our band trip to d.c.
ha ha lmao
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Posted: Thu May 01, 2008 3:47 pm
Hartmetz: *cuts us off* ...that was...well...if you were sightreading, it would have sounded good.
Us: ...we WERE sightreading!
Hartmetz: ...really? Then that was good. I could have sworn I made copies of this, though...o_0
Truth be told, his copier is broken so he couldn't have anyway. XDD
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Who is Puffer Fish Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu May 01, 2008 9:44 pm
Oh my goodness where to begin...
1. You know how most people count triplets as Triplelette (trip-ple-lette) to count it out well our conductor one day told us that triplelette didn't work, so he started having us go un-der-ware un-der-ware it was really funny
2. During a sectional, the horn section for one part of a song we had like a hunting call, and our director ment to say "its a hunting call girls" instead he's just like "its a mating call girls"
3. blow harder and move your fingers faster
4. your a teenager everything in your life is drama full
5. When you play that high, you sound like your giving birth to something
there are more, but these are the ones I remembered just this minute.
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Posted: Fri May 02, 2008 2:26 pm
Okay so we were playing one of the songs that we play so much that we should have already commited to memory. The drummers as always were rushing the song. Our BD stopped us and he looked back toward the drummers. Then very seriously he says, "Not everything that's black runs."
We started laughing because one of our drummers is black.
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Posted: Fri May 02, 2008 4:17 pm
okay so we were playing one of our parts and the percussion screws up and while my BD is fixing their mistake the 2nd trumpets start talking and she gets mad. then while shes fixing the 2nd trumpets (cuz they suck and are always doing something wrong) the 2nd clarinets start talking. she then says "you know how most woman get flowers after a concert? well for putting up with you guys i deserve a car!"
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Posted: Fri May 02, 2008 6:16 pm
My teacher made the joke "don't be sharp or flat be Natural". REALLY bad joke.
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Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 6:05 pm
One day in jazz band we were talking about something, but I wasn't paying attention as usual. As these things go, I tuned in at the wrong moment; right when the bd said "Mr. Hanna, male prostitute just doesn't work."
He also always tells the bass drummer to "Stroke it, don't beat it."
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Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 8:14 pm
This was during Marching band, and since 3/4 of the band happens to be newbies, the bd needed to say something encouraging, so Ms. Heckman said:
"Turn the corner like a Ninja!!"
Emphasis on Ninja, hold out the "I"...half of the anime-otaku burst out laughing, of course.
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Posted: Wed May 07, 2008 12:57 pm
We have a senior in our band named Douglas, and during our last concert the BD and the jazz teacher called up the seniors to recognize them and when she called him our poor, dyslexic BD called him Dumbass by accident...it was the best. rofl
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Posted: Wed May 07, 2008 3:43 pm
I didn't hear the entire conversation but...
Hartmetz: Neal, you'd think you'd be used to looking weird by now.
And at another point in class...
Mrs. Thomas[band mom]: *walks in with plates of brownies for people who found button covers* *gives one to Hartmetz*
Hartmetz: !! *holds it to the side of his face* Yay!
Everyone: o_0;;;
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Who is Puffer Fish Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed May 07, 2008 5:35 pm
XDDD *pictures it* Now I wanna brownie...*pouts*
Me: *shoves very short and skinny friend into her band locker* Don't get you feet tangled in my chord.
Friend: Your bass is obese.
Me: Shaddup *shuts locker* Be nice to it! You two are gonna be lockermates!
Ewing(BD): Bri, why are you talking to your locker?
Me: *innocent* My bass is scared of the dark.
Ewing: *stares* Patrick was right...you are special needs. Get all living things out of your locker.
3rd teacher to tell me that.
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