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 Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 2:51 pm
Streamjumper AzurePaleSky 3.14
I swear to god.
If I have to eat another bag of ramen noodles because you won't grow a pair and tell your Dad we can't afford to make his insane loan payment-- I AM GOING TO PUKE.
We just can't afford to send him $250 a month! TELL HIM! So what if he won't 'ever help you again'. My parents will, and have offered. Something has to give. We can't keep living like this.
I'm not going to have a shitty Christmas because of your Dad. I just won't. I hate it when guys have pride against this kind of thing... his dad should be more responsible and not rely on you guys who are trying to make it yourselves to pay his loans... sad I think you're reading that wrong.
Josh's Dad helped him take out a loan to pay his medical bills when he got into an accident last year.
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Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2007 10:01 pm
Heres one.
D8....OW.....But your right. You are right I kind of get why you don't talk to me anymore. Which hurts horribly since your my absolute role model. Being called well that name doesn't really hurt because for a long time its been quite true. Holding on to something thats not mine because I'm afraid for it is stupid, what happens happens and I can be what I wasn't born to be. It actually makes me happy to know you care that much to make it so obvious and I feel stupid for just noticing that. I'm glad you think I'm smart though It makes me happy that somebody does ^^ Did I take it graciously?
I have another D8
Stop ******** me! No I don't like mainstream, but that doesn't mean I have a complex either. Being original, does NOT make me unoriginal because everyone wants to be original. It makes you a jerk for saying that in the first place. Just because you've had a year and a half more college then I have does NOT make you smarter then me when I had a gpa of 3.8 and your having trouble passing just a few classes. Your a good person, you are. But your about as street wise as URKLE sweetheart. I know what the hell game is and you're 'friends run it over you often.' I'm a serious person, I don't like being made fun of, and Yes I made fun of Christians, because YES I HATE CHRISTIANS. I don't actually caaare you are one...but gdmnt don't get made at me because I think your whole kind are snakes...just saying. Did I mention stop psycho analyzing me? Because I can turn that right back on you. But I'm cruel, I'm ******** cruel.
P.S:....I love you more then you ******** know so shut up D<.
this feels good...
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Posted: Sat Dec 15, 2007 3:01 pm
I guess I like you. No, I'm not sure, but I think I do. I love the way you're good at almost everything you do without trying. I love the way you're a crazy, partier who goes out and lives on the wild side, but you also always have so much self-restraint. I love the way you walk around shirtless in the halls like it's no big deal, and you don't care what people say about your body because you think you look good, which makes everyone else think you look good. I love how you don't talk about women in a disrespectful way around me, even when the other guys do. I love how you stuck up for us when the other guys were giving us hell about that night. I love how you continue to be so devastatingly polite to me, how you always seemed to give me your full attention when I needed to talk to you, how you refused to take advantage of me when I was drunk, even though it was really me trying to take advantage of you (though wildly unsuccessfully). I love your New York lilt, and the way your voice can be naturally husky, but not in a cheesy way. I love the way you kiss, and the way you tilted my chin up to look at you when you said (so truthfully) that I would want it more the next day. And I did. And I continue to, no matter how much I don't want to anymore.
I don't regret anything about that night, or those few moments with you. Despite all the problems and awkwardness that's grown between us as a result of it, it made me forget everything bad that happened with him in the past. He is just a name and a face like any other in a sea of people, and you've crushed a year's worth of useless pining, frustration, teasing, and heart break and ground it into dust.
So while I do have a new host of problems with you that I need to wrestle with now, you made me believe one important thing: that moving on not only POSSIBLE, but it is NECESSARY.
I know I screwed up with you, and I am sorry. I wish I were better friends with you, not just acquainted out of necessity, but that we were genuinely just the "very good friends" like you said we were. I wish I could have the courage to go into your room and sit on your bed while you play that stupid bubble shooter game, or try to figure out that 4x4 Rubix cube (which is so adorable to watch), or even snuggle up and watch Planet Earth (which I would have never guessed a frat boy like you would actually be interested in) and just talk to you. I wish I could show you who I really am and get to know who you are without having booze in my system.
I wish I wasn't so scared for no reason, and that I didn't care so much about what other people thought, and I wish YOU didn't care so much about what people would think about us. Because honestly, they wouldn't care at all. (I'm going to be blunt: we're both equally attractive, we're both joining Greek Life next semester, and we're both highly sought after. Even they have said that it would just make sense.)
But the sad truth is that you do care, to an incredible extent. And so, I go on my endless search to find that other someone who will help me forget about you and move on again. He won't be you, no matter how much I would like. He won't have your impish grin, or your genuinely charming, boy-ish disposition, but hopefully he will make me feel that high of pleasure and make me forget the rest of the world's problems like you did.
I hope that you find your significant other, and I hope she is perfect, and can offer everything that I couldn't, and that I will never know. So goodbye, and I wish you the very best in life.
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Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 9:27 am
i told you that i'm afraid of uncertainty. i said that it's the tarus in me, i like stable things. and you said that without uncertainty nothing could change. but.. what i couldnt say was..
i don't want us to change. i don't want you to go. i don't want to have to wait 4 months to see you, when for the last 6 months i've only had to wait a few minutes. when i've been able to see you every day. i could hold you when i wanted to. i am really uncertain about our future. i don't want you to be the third person i've lost to california. i don't want you to go. im scared.. no.. terrified.
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Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 12:48 am
Seems like you're right; I'm getting laid for Christmas. redface blaugh
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Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 1:32 am
Okay... here it goes!
So you talk of life and its simplicity... and what you seek, and how hard you work. And you're taking on so much, and still always so kind and cheerful to me, a complete stranger of sorts. You always have a good attitude, and you certainly aren't preoccupied with drinking/partying/sex like so many others our age are. I really value that.
We'll wish each other Merry Christmases, but you already gave me such a great gift. You made me realize that there can be such a sweet innocence, and a genuineness to guys, and that I could have that in a boyfriend and to not settle for less. Maybe I'll be able to tell you... it's so much easier writing out the words than saying them in person.
To my most recent ex:
You may be happy, thinking, "oh look at all the wonderful friends I have around the world" but in a while you'll look around and realize that you have no one truly beside you. And screw you for putting your bs first in front of the health and well-being of OUR friend.
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Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 1:54 am
Great Tattooist Oni Seems like you're right; I'm getting laid for Christmas. redface blaugh If I said that I'd be seen as a whore! Guys get to brag about upping their numbers. Girls just get called easy for doing that. LOL Madonna/Whore complex! Please wear a condamn!
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Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 6:25 pm
AzurePaleSky Great Tattooist Oni Seems like you're right; I'm getting laid for Christmas. redface blaugh If I said that I'd be seen as a whore! Guys get to brag about upping their numbers. Girls just get called easy for doing that. LOL Madonna/Whore complex! Please wear a condamn!
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Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 6:39 pm
Great Tattooist Oni AzurePaleSky Great Tattooist Oni Seems like you're right; I'm getting laid for Christmas. redface blaugh If I said that I'd be seen as a whore! Guys get to brag about upping their numbers. Girls just get called easy for doing that. LOL Madonna/Whore complex! Please wear a condamn! I didn't mean to suggest you were! Just the fact that you (as well as many other guys) can say, "I'm gonna get laid" is something that stuck me at that laaate hour. I mean, I could too (if it was going to happen) but it'd just be viewed as a very different thing.
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Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 7:29 pm
AzurePaleSky Great Tattooist Oni AzurePaleSky Great Tattooist Oni Seems like you're right; I'm getting laid for Christmas. redface blaugh If I said that I'd be seen as a whore! Guys get to brag about upping their numbers. Girls just get called easy for doing that. LOL Madonna/Whore complex! Please wear a condamn! I didn't mean to suggest you were! Just the fact that you (as well as many other guys) can say, "I'm gonna get laid" is something that stuck me at that laaate hour. I mean, I could too (if it was going to happen) but it'd just be viewed as a very different thing.
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Streamjumper Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 9:03 pm
Great Tattooist Oni AzurePaleSky Great Tattooist Oni AzurePaleSky Great Tattooist Oni Seems like you're right; I'm getting laid for Christmas. redface blaugh If I said that I'd be seen as a whore! Guys get to brag about upping their numbers. Girls just get called easy for doing that. LOL Madonna/Whore complex! Please wear a condamn! I didn't mean to suggest you were! Just the fact that you (as well as many other guys) can say, "I'm gonna get laid" is something that stuck me at that laaate hour. I mean, I could too (if it was going to happen) but it'd just be viewed as a very different thing. Not to mention that such an attitude has been on its way out over the course of the last decade or so. Azure, I don't think you quite realize it, but when you decide to make such an unwarranted and absolute statement in the company of people who have demonstrated that they don't behave that way, it kinda comes off as a slap to them. Kinda like saying something like "There's no such thing as nice guys" while in the middle of guys who are not only nice, but have suffered for it in the long run.
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Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 9:30 pm
Streamjumper Great Tattooist Oni AzurePaleSky Great Tattooist Oni AzurePaleSky Great Tattooist Oni Seems like you're right; I'm getting laid for Christmas. redface blaugh If I said that I'd be seen as a whore! Guys get to brag about upping their numbers. Girls just get called easy for doing that. LOL Madonna/Whore complex! Please wear a condamn! I didn't mean to suggest you were! Just the fact that you (as well as many other guys) can say, "I'm gonna get laid" is something that stuck me at that laaate hour. I mean, I could too (if it was going to happen) but it'd just be viewed as a very different thing. Not to mention that such an attitude has been on its way out over the course of the last decade or so. Azure, I don't think you quite realize it, but when you decide to make such an unwarranted and absolute statement in the company of people who have demonstrated that they don't behave that way, it kinda comes off as a slap to them. Kinda like saying something like "There's no such thing as nice guys" while in the middle of guys who are not only nice, but have suffered for it in the long run. Okay, first of all, I don't see how I'm slapping the AG guys in the face. You do not know my relationships with the guys here. I am good friends with some of these people, and if you look at one of my above posts, I realize that not all guys are "ALL RIGHT, I'm gonna get laid tonight!" That's just idiotic to think all people are the same. If I believed that guys were s**t I wouldn't have done some things that I have done for people here in the guild. If you look at all cultures you'll find that almost all of them view sexuality in a similar manner as we do. I'm merely attacking our sexist evolutionary history, not males. If a girl does say, "Hey, I'm getting laid!" it is viewed differently, although this group of people is thankfully a bit more liberal in the views of these things. To add to this though, it's interesting how some people focus on the sexual aspects... like "yes, I'm going to have sex with her" versus "yes, I'm going to get to know someone great" although it's a bit a of both. Girls tend to focus more on the emotional aspects and guys on the sexual, so that's what I was noting. So the "trend" is out? It's always been this way and I doubt it will change much. If so, then why all the hooplah about Britney Spears' sister being 16 and pregnant? While some people may say they're more accepting of girls and their sexuality, you will never find such a big commotion about a 16 year old guy becoming a father. I'm not criticizing males or our society, it's just how things are. But I don't expect them to change much. And I'm hurt that you'd say I'm slapping the guys here in the face. Some of them are very close friends of mine, and if they thought of me as someone who thinks all guys are like that, then I'm the one who deserves to be slapped. But I don't think they do. Anyway, I'm sorry if this comes off as mean, but this just really hurt me.
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Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 9:42 pm
Streamjumper Great Tattooist Oni AzurePaleSky Great Tattooist Oni AzurePaleSky Great Tattooist Oni Seems like you're right; I'm getting laid for Christmas. redface blaugh If I said that I'd be seen as a whore! Guys get to brag about upping their numbers. Girls just get called easy for doing that. LOL Madonna/Whore complex! Please wear a condamn! I didn't mean to suggest you were! Just the fact that you (as well as many other guys) can say, "I'm gonna get laid" is something that stuck me at that laaate hour. I mean, I could too (if it was going to happen) but it'd just be viewed as a very different thing. Not to mention that such an attitude has been on its way out over the course of the last decade or so. Azure, I don't think you quite realize it, but when you decide to make such an unwarranted and absolute statement in the company of people who have demonstrated that they don't behave that way, it kinda comes off as a slap to them. Kinda like saying something like "There's no such thing as nice guys" while in the middle of guys who are not only nice, but have suffered for it in the long run. Changes like these happen slower than you realize. Yes, I believe it's getting better, especially with the people we choose to hang out with but our society will long be filled with ghosts. It feels dismissive to so casually say that it's on its way out. Perhaps the women of the generation after ours will not have to deal with the whispers that happen when some guy publicly declares that he slept with her as some sort of character assassination. "Slut" still rolls off the tongue a lot more naturally than "Man-ho." I see where you're coming from though and I suppose there may be still things that can't be discussed in mixed company without treading carefully because they're sensitive issues to both sides. As for nice guys, are they really suffering solely because they're nice? I thought the point of being nice was because it was the decent thing to do, because one couldn't live with oneself if one weren't... one can't really expect anything for it. I'm sure a lot of us have said "I'm just too nice!" when we feel we're being taken advantage of... and perhaps its true. If a nice guy is suffering, he has the power to change his life and find people who appreciate him.
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Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 9:53 pm
If the trend of sexism were really on its way out, terms like 'slut' and 'whore' would be much less common...while 'stud' and 'player' would be just as or almost as stigmatized as a girl being called a slut or whore, right?
In my personal experience in dealing with people and being around them, people talk about "getting laid" generally about situations that involve impersonal and casual encounters...or maybe I'm simply around the wrong kinds of people.
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Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 9:54 pm
Also, just turn on a tv. In most music videos, women are essentially sex objects, wearing little clothing, and being very busty and skinny. In anime and video, it's often the same. Some of the women may be smart, but they're also viewed in a distinct light. If you turn on a tv, you'd think that to be female means to be young, white, beautiful, skinny, busty, and preoccupied with looks.
And this is a thread I created in order for us all to get our feelings out. I made a "oh, that's interesting" comment late at night 'cause something caught my eye. It wasn't out of the ordinary or mean to be malicious. Spider, I'm sorry if you took it that way. I wish you and Katrina the best of luck.
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