8.
"Third," said Emperial while he was downstairs fixing a snack, "I need to ask you to do something."
Emperial very rarely asked anything of Third, but he could tell by the tone of her voice that this was something important, even dire. He knew better than to agree without knowing the task. "What?" he asked simply, slicing off rectangles of cheddar cheese to go with the crackers.
"Have Constant watch Aelinye, I want you to go somewhere with me."
Third raised an eyebrow at Emperial. She knew he could not stray far from Constant. It was simply impossible.
"It's nearby," she assured, reading his thoughts. "I'll have you back in five minutes."
"Okay," he said, communicating to Constant what Emperial asked. He left the knife on the plate with the rest of the cheese.
Taking Third's hand, Emperial led him out into the hallway and stopped. "Close your eyes a sec?" Third did so, and Emperial gently guided him forward through what he was certain had been a wall. He felt a tingle on his skin as he moved, and suddenly everything was brighter. "You can open your eyes now."
They were standing in a room, notebooks and bound tomes and paper stacks all around them. Bookshelves reached up the cheery yellow walls. There were a few chairs and tables buried under all the paperwork. A typewriter sat on top of a desk, the paper halfway written. On the far wall, sheer white curtains billowed in the wind, but not a single slip of paper so much as shuddered. Through the curtains Third could see green trees, sunlight filtering down through the leaves, beautiful and fresh like Wilbur's yard in North Carolina.
Emperial took a seat in front of the typewriter and motioned for Third to sit in the empty chair next to her. Looking back, Third realized that this room had no doors.
It was quite clear that this room was not in Greyhaven. It was all sunlight and fresh air, not a trace of Greyhaven's mists or fog anywhere. Despite this, Third did not feel any farther from Constant than he had in the kitchen. Maybe even closer. It was different, though. He could sense her but there was a veil of silence between them.
Third took the seat offered and tried not to wonder about all the words laying around him. There were clearly hundreds of thousands in the room, written in every book and on every sheet of paper. Something in him longed to know what they said but Emperial was counting on him for something important.
"Do you remember the Conference?" asked Emperial.
"Yes," replied Third slowly, already not liking where this was going.
"Everyone at the Conference was given a wish, a choice between two options. The first, to bring back someone who had fallen in the course of the conflict. The second, to rewrite their own history."
Third nodded, wondering how this involved him.
"I'd like to ask you to use your wish to rewrite your own history."
It took a moment for that to sink in. First, Third had not thought any of the events at the Conference had truly involved him, or that he had been anything more than an observer. He had not participated in the "conflict" (as Emperial put it) nor was he a member of the Fleet. In his mind, he had spent most of his life outside of the Fleet, without any connection to it or the people involved in it. Second, it just seemed vaguely preposterous. Rewrite his own history?
He could think of only one question, the biggest question. "Why?"
Emperial took a moment. "You know what praetorians and imperators do, correct?"
"Praetorians calculate probabilities and then act according to what they want to happen," said Third disapprovingly, for he still did not accept that, "and imperators record things."
"Which is what I do in here," said Emperial. "There's also a third type of creationary aspect called a magister. A magister sets all the rules, creates everything. You'll never meet a magister because by their very nature they must exist outside their universe, perpetuating its existence. They're like... a river. The magister is all the water coming down the river. The imperator is the observer that sees the water, and the praetor creates channels that decide where the river goes."
"I think I follow," said Third.
Emperial nodded, encouraged. Now for the thing she had been dreading. "The problem is that every once in a while there are two magisters trying to flow into the same river. They create too much water, the praetorians can't channel it, and all the imperators can do is watch. What I'm trying to say is that there are two magisterial influences in your life, Third."
Third sat up, alarmed. That sounded bad.
"It's not terribly uncommon," said Emperial, and Third relaxed. "Most of the time it's actually interesting and fun. But the problem is, one of the magisterial inflences in your existence is not... providing any water, and instead of having too much, we don't have enough."
Suddenly Emperial shifted in her chair, looking up and away towards the ceiling, sitting straighter. "Gods, I sound like an Empelilu, let me just say it plainly. Your existence is partly from our magisterial influence, partly from the magisterial influence of someone else, and the someone else is preventing us from doing what it is we want to." Emperial reached over and pushed aside some papers on her desk, seizing a sheet. She handed it to Third. "This," she said, "is a list of some of the things we were planning for your future. I know you dislike the thought of anyone having a preplanned existence, so you can consider these possibilities."
Third steeled himself and looked at the list.
- 1. the Star Tower
Pavel takes Third and Constant up to the Star Tower above Greyhaven
- The stars were quite purely unbelievable. They were like holes cut through the deep, dark blue dome of the sky to let the light of Heaven shine through. The heavy layer of clouds that obscured the city became a sea of silver in the starlight, thick enough to sail through
- The men had forgotten, after so many weeks of treating him as an equal, that he was still a kid.
4. attending school
- - the name Ridley
- Constant as assistance dog (Third blind in white eye)
- Ant/Bug? leadership of the class
- appropriate study level
- leaving the children behind
Of course, he had to take care of Aelinye. That was more important than any school. His eyes flicked up to the Star Tower again. He could just picture that sort of a place well enough to realize it was probably fifty times more amazing than anything he could come up with. One of those legendarily breathtaking places he had read about, like the Grand Canyon and Victoria Falls.
Emperial sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "These were meant to be done months ago, Third, but the fact is we've been trying to delay them to give the other magisterial influence time... and frankly, we're all sick of it. We want you to have a whole life, not be restricted because someone you don't know isn't doing something and there are rules we're bound by."
"I couldn't go to school, I have to care for Aelinye," said Third, attepmting to offer plausible denial to the whole list.
"You could if she were older, if she grew," said Emperial. "Perhaps I should back up a moment and explain something. Before you came to live in Greyhaven, you grew from a toddler to a child. Do you know why Constant didn't grow?"
Third shook his head.
"We were waiting for the second magisterial influence to comply."
"But Constant just grew, too," pointed out Third.
"Because we supplanted the second magisterial influence," said Emperial flatly. "Because at some point enough is enough. Because... you shouldn't be held back by this situation, but you're being held back, even if you're not aware of it."
Third felt a pit in his stomach. His whole existence, predicted and controlled.
"I understand this is upsetting," said Emperial, "which is why I'd like you to rewrite your history, and Constant's. I'm giving you the chance to create your own existence on your own terms. You control it."
Third looked at the paper "What about Aelinye?"
Emperial smiled. "You'll still have Aelinye. In fact, from her perspective, nothing will have changed. We may need to make a few tweaks here and there, but nothing of any major note. You'll still be the person you are, with the same family and friends. You'll just have taken a different path to get there."
Third sat there, thinking. This was a lot. The magnitude of it did not sit well with him. "I can rewrite my past in such a way that I would control my own future?" he asked sharply. "Not you, not anyone else?"
Emperial smiled softly. "I'm offering you the chance to become what I am, in the same way that Trion and Ken are. A deity, the only thing in all the multiverse that possesses what you'd call free will. There are rules, but they're nothing like the ones you live by now. You'd be aware of them. In a finite sense your life would still be governed by probablities, but you would be the one to engineer them."
"I should talk to Constant," said Third.
"I knew you'd say that, but I have to ask you not to."
Third's response was immediate. "Then I can't do it."
"Then you'll be stuck forever," said Emperial. "This is something you have to choose for yourself."
Third sat in quiet thought again. "I can't decide Constant's fate for her, I'd be a hypocrite."
"I'll level with you, Third. This is exactly as my probablities predicted. I know you hate them, but it's true. I also know that there's only one thing I can say that will convince you to do this, but I don't want to say it because I respect the fact that you don't want to be manipulated."
Third swallowed. Could she really control his reactions with her prediction? He looked at his hands. There was only one way to be sure. "Say it," he said.
Emperial's jaw tightened. "Are you sure?"
"If you say it and I do what you predicted, then you're right. I'm nothing but a puppet being controlled and I'll accept any path to freedom, even if that means I'm choosing Constant's fate. But if you say it and I still choose to remain as I am, then I'm right, and I do have free will and the ability to choose my own fate, and I don't need to change who I am or decide Constant's fate for her."
Emperial took a moment to prepare herself. Then she looked Third straight in the eyes and said, "I love you. Do you trust me?"
She was right. He caved.
