Fresh off the presses, get your spam fresh off the presses:
Shinji (On Newguy Forum): Great, group em all together so we can sho- er- welcome them easier.
Things not to say during dates
"Ramming speed Mr. Worf!"
"Would you like to see my Rod of Lordly Might? It extends!"
"You remind me of another girl I used to know - I really liked her too.... So, she was a lot better looking than you, but it's the personality."
"Would you like to come back to my place? Just, when you get in the door you'll have to take your shoes off - the floorboards could wake up maw."
"Just out of interest, how often do you brush your teeth...?"
"My wife is gonna love you."
"You don't sweat much for a fat girl."
"I got both flavours of condom before you came in. I didn't know which you preferred."
"Ignore mother, she never speaks."
"nah, I don't go to McDonald's any more - too unhealthy! Come on back and we'll get a pot noodle."
"Hold up.. I seem to have forgotten the rope and duct-tape."
"Ever dance with the devil in the pale moon light?"
"Can you signs these legal documents that assure you are consenting in this sexual act, should you decide to be a gold digging b***h and sue me for 'rape' just so you can get some money?"
"Could you squeeze that for me, it's ready to pop?"
"so, my friends tell me you're easy"
"Are you a fan of Bukkake parties?"
"You're really attractive when you don't speak."
"You remind me of my ex."
"So, uh, do you think your mom would go for a guy like me?"
"Don't worry about it, Leprosy is really difficult to catch."
And more later...
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