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 Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 9:09 pm
I Really Need To Write More Another journal entry
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Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 9:29 pm
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Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 1:06 pm
Vulnerability
Coailiann was bored. There was nothing good that could come from a bored teenager, let alone a bored teenage Sidhe who was living on her own with an incubus that was rarely ever home. Which kicked up jealousy and other bad feelings. So what was said bored teenage Sidhe doing?
Making her way home for the first time in months. Since the funeral - which had been thankfully mostly uneventful except for the random appearances of things from the In Between and the general feeling of being watched - she'd not come back. In fact, Kay didn't go back to the place she'd called home most of her life very often. It felt empty with just Ianna there. It felt empty without her sister's presence.
Short, cropped pink and white hair had grown out to around her shoulders and was currently worn in two loose pigtails to keep it out of her face and her baby - her beautiful black and pink electric guitar - was strapped to her back. Today, she wasn't bothering with dressing down for her mother. She wasn't home, she'd called. So her outfit consisted of a pair of black fishnet stockings, a skirt that barely graced her knees that had belts hanging low on her hips, a pair of knee-high silver-buckled boots and a white peasant blouse. Not necessarily the most obvious choice of a shirt with said outfit but Kay never really cared. It was getting colder and like hell she'd be wearing a halter or tube as the days turned into autumn. She didn't like cold all that much. How odd it was - how it was approaching Christmas again. Had it really almost been a year since she'd grown? Well, not quite so much. But she'd still been a kid last Christmas - chasing dreams with her precious Callix. Being a teenager wasn't nearly as cool as it seemed when she was younger.
Through the dusty wand shop she went, turning the knob of the door that would bring her into the headquarters. Finding it as she expected, empty, Kay went to the middle of the 'play area' that had been set up and sat herself down on the floor, unstrapping the guitar from her back and sitting it on her knee. Fingers delicately played over the strings and she felt herself have a pang of missing her harp.
No. That wasn't what she was anymore! A smile tugged at her lips - that didn't stop her from playing her traditional Gaelic. A lively tune was plucked from the strings and she quietly began to hum to herself.
And who would expect to find anyone there? Not only had this place been deserted since the funeral, but it was almost midnight. Still, the place wasn't empty, as Kay had first thought. Someone was already there. Someone who had wanted to be alone. Who was never alone. It was the sound of the music that alerted Malum to her presence and as he entered the play area, a slight smirk touched his lips. Silent, the blonde boy approached Coailiann from behind, not touching her, but bending down until his lips almost brushed her ear when he spoke, his warm breath stirring her hair.
"You should stop playing."
No, she hadn't been expecting anyone there at all and when she heard the words spoken and felt the breath against her ear she stilled, fingers poised to pluck the strings on her guitar but not moving. Ah, she recognized that voice, and it was the only reason she didn't go on the attack, "Is there a reason I should stop playing, Malum, or are you just being a brat like normal?" her voice was quiet, contrite. She hadn't seen the boy since the funeral and that had been awkward as sin. They'd both cried.
She hated that.
"You'll wake them, you know." In the darkness of the center [he hadn't bothered with lights], his pale features, hair, eyes, skin, teeth... Almost glowed. The angel's grin was a little off, as usual. He didn't move away from her right then, instead letting his teeth barely, barely n** her earlobe, before stepping away and gesturing around the room. He didn't seem to remember the last time they'd seen each other. Or, rather, he wasn't acting that way.
"Wake who?" she asked, irritated, though the n** to her ear made her eyes narrow deeply. Kid. Biting her ear. It wasn't a pleasant feeling and the boy was confusing the teenager to no end. Slowly, her guitar was lowered and she pushed herself up onto her feet, turning to look. "Are you on something, Malum? I wouldn't think a kid would be into that."
"What are you going on about, my dear?" There was that grin again. Gorgeous, but not quite right. Now he leaned in close once more, his pale eyes bright, not with insanity, but something else... Knowledge? "The spirits, Coailiann. The spirits. Come, are you completely dense? Or just..." His head tilted to the side. In some ways, it was definitely believeable that Malum was a woman in his past like "... Out of sync?"
"I think you've got a few screws loose, Malum," she returned, looking at the smiling boy who was talking about the spirits. Coailiann had blocked out most of her magic by that point, disconnected herself from most of everything if one was to be honest. "You need help. Then again, you've always needed help..."
That curly blonde head tilted to the other side, as if he was listening to something she couldn't hear, and he lost his smile completely, becoming his serious, scary self. "No, Sidhe. I believe it is you, this time, that needs the help." His laugh had no mirth to it. "It is not your destiny to be a slut. Look at you." Tapping his chin, a smile reappeared. "Take those off." A hand gestured at her body.
Green eyes stared at him as those words spilled from his lips, "Watch your tongue, boy. I'm not taking anything off, and I'm not a slut." She wasn't, either! Since her sister's death she hadn't really done anything other than be a giant c**k tease. Still dressed like one, still acted like one...Never followed through anymore. She simply couldn't bring herself to do so.
"If you're not a slut, take them off." Malum's face became completely innocent. "What have you got to lose...? Certainly not your chastity."
"I'm not a *****," she muttered, "And I'd rather not have a child see me naked. You haven't even hit puberty yet, Malum." Arms crossed over her chest. No, she wasn't appreciating this mocking in her own home. But then...it wasn't much her home anymore, was it?
"Oh!" His laughter lit the room. Literally. Apparently, his powers were growing stronger. "Oh, that is rich." Shaking his head, he ran a blue-nailed hand through his curls, looking completely amused. "You actually thought I might be interested in you? How quaint." A long pause and he stared off into the distance. "Why are you so scared?" His voice was quieter now, thoughtful.
"Why else would you be asking me to take off my clothes?" Kay's wings shifted behind her and she snatched up her guitar. This wasn't what she'd come here for and damned if she was going to stay much longer if Malum kept up this creepy act. She had enough creepy in her life. "I'm not scared!"
Calm, collected, sincere. Malum threw curveballs every second. "I want to look at you, Coailiann." He didn't explain himself further. He had been telling the truth about the completely unsexual nature of his demand. Now silent, Malum simply crossed his arms, and waited.
"Well, you're looking at me just fine with my clothes on, thank you very much." Wings wilting, the sidhe stared at him as if in a challenge. There was no way she was backing down from this one, that was for damn sure. She had her morals, her integrity. Like hell she'd disrobe for a child.
"Please." Those bright eyes, that serious face. Malum continued to wait.
"Oh for ******** sake," Coailiann cried out, tightening her grip around her arms as they remained firmly crossed over her chest, "Will you stop looking at me like that? I'm not taking them off. Get off the subject already!" Her eloquence lost. The boy was unnerving her greatly.
She probably had no idea what the boy's eyes were really saying. They were just bright, pale, intense, and locked on hers. Malum didn't budge, arms still across his chest, having said please. He wouldn't repeat that. "... Coailiann." Do it. Take them off. Said his expression.
"I swear to god, Malum, if you breathe a single word of this to anyone I will castrate you with my bare hands and make it slow and painful to the point where you'll never have any use to anyone again, do you understand me?" Her voice was dead serious as she slipped the top off, then her shoes, her stockings, her jeans. However, she absolutely refused to remove her bra and thong. Nope, those pink things were staying on her body no matter what.
There was no use in answering that. She may not have known he wouldn't say anything, but Malum knew, and his silence, rather than a snarky comment, told her that. His eyes didn't flicker from meeting hers. He didn't look down at her body or anything. She still wasn't naked. In a small, subtle gesture, but a large enough one for her to notice and understand, he moved a finger, directing her to remove the rest of her garments. It seemed to be of utmost importance to the other ghost.
Green eyes narrowed at Malum's, "No. I'm not removing anything else. You are not seeing me in anything less. It's bad enough that I'm doing this!" Oh, no, Coailiann seemed just as stubborn as ever, wings giving a flutter behind her. Why was she being so stubborn about taking her clothes off? She wasn't exactly the most wholesome girl in the world currently. But she supposed even she had boundries.
He finally spoke. "You need to listen to me." Malum broke eyecontact, and turned so his back was facing her, staring out the dark window, tone conversational. "You see, I am going to save you." A low chuckle hummed through the air. "This is not a bad thing."
"You're a child, Malum, and I don't need saving. I'm perfectly fine." A bold faced lie. She hadn't been fine since the invasion at the headquarters. Not truly. Callix disappearing on her and breaking her heart (though she'd never admit to it, ever) was thoroughly depressing in itself and Matilda's death just topped the cake. "What can you do to save someone who doesn't need saving in the first place?"
Malum was quiet a long while before turning back to face her, a blank expression on his face. He knew. That's exactly what his gaze said as he met her green eyes once more. He knew. "Tell her the truth."
"What are you going on about?" She said, this time sounding exasperated rather than annoyed, angry, or confused. She just wanted this over with, whatever 'this' was, and go home. What little home Durem was, anyway.
"Take those off, Coailiann." Take it all off, the lies, the make-up, the outfits, the past. Malum was here, the little angel, to save her. Heal her. And then go about his twisted way as if nothing had happened.
Scare her was more like it! "I won't," she repeated, though it seemed as though her resolve was fading fast. This wasn't right. This wasn't supposed to happen. Damn it, she'd just come here to play her guitar in peace without a neighbor smashing their broom on the floor to tell her to shut up.
Malum seemed to want to take away some of the supposed indignity of disrobing in front of his gaze, and closed his eyes, waiting with startling tranquility. He seemed absolutely relaxed, here.
Sigh. This boy wasn't going to let her be, was he? Grumbling under her breath, the undergarments were discarded, though delicious thoughts of murdering him in his sleep were popping up in her mind repeatedly. Various different ways of torturing him. Sick and twisted herself? In a way. After all, she'd been through that.
Without opening his eyes, he knew, and shifted closer, until they were maybe two feet apart. Reaching out, he gently took her hand, placing the palm on his chest, above his heart. Coailiann had the power of telepathy, but since the twins had hit kid, they'd refused her entry into their minds. Now Malum opened his, and invited her inside. His thoughts? Of her. Memories of her as a child. Not the sweetest thing, but good. Honest, pure. That was still how he thought of her. And her now? "You are beautiful." The image, not her clothed in her... Costume, as he clearly thought of it, but of her at the funeral, of her now. Naked.
Yes, his eyes were open. Still, none of his thoughts had to do with her nudity or sexuality. Just what he considered honesty. "Grow from what you pretend to be, Coailiann." Malum's eyes were bright, almost power-bright, a blue-silver.
Nerves took hold of her as he moved closer to her. Being in such a vulnerable position was not something she appreciated being put into. Not after learning of how she died, not after learning all of these things that she did. Watching it. However, when Malum took her hand and placed it on his chest, opened his mind to her. It wasn't something that the twins had done...Ever, really. She'd tried several times to reach them when she was a child herself but the truth of the matter was it had been impossible. It had frustrated her.
As the memories touched her mind and she saw what she used to be her eyes welled slightly. She couldn't be that again, that much she knew. She couldn't go back to that. How could she? If she went down that path, it would be the same as it had been before. It would end the same it had before. "I can't," she whispered softly, eyes slipping shut. The overwhelming urge to lean against the taller child filling her. God, she needed a hug. "I can't."
One would generally wonder why someone like Malum was a guardian. It was in these moments that they knew. The tall kid gently guided Coailiann into his arms, completely platonic as he held her close. "It will not be the same." It was never the same. This time, Kay was protected. This was not the sidhe court. "Do not go back. Move forward." His voice was soft, almost inaudible.
Coailiann's head found Malum's chest as it had done at the funeral, arms slipping around him to cling. "How?" she muttered under her breath as she clung to the boy, "How can I? How can you promise it will not be the same? It's already the same. I'm already looked at like that, before this, before everything. I'm the same...I can't allow...I just..." Her voice was broken.
"You have us, now." He and his sister. Malum stepped back, brushing hair from her face with gentle fingertips, then smiling, for once it was without the weird look to it. His hands moved over her body, not quite touching it, but leaving light behind, as if a new garment. "It is up to you, Coailiann." Suddenly, his peace was gone. His head snapped sharply to the side and his eyes narrowed. "I must go." Malum pointed to a large coat on the couch, his own.
Before he swept past her, leaving his jacket, he touched her cheek, leaving his own light fingerprints behind. They would fade within the hour. After that, he was gone.
Coailiann was now reluctant to let go, but when he stepped back she did so, keeping her eyes closed at the touch. It would be a long road, and she had much to think about, but like it or not it seemed as though Malum had helped. If just a small bit. Once he was gone, her eyes peeled open and looked to the couch where the jacket lay. Kay thought a moment and, instead of picking up her clothing, she slid over to the coat and slipped it on, buttoning it. It was overly large on her small frame, but that was good. Boots and stockings were still put on - like hell she'd leave those boots - and her guitar was grabbed and strapped to her back again. Time to go home. Quietly, she made her way out of the headquarters and back to Durem.
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Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 1:11 pm
Empty House It had been months since the incubus had stopped by the house that they'd lived in, and every day Coailiann had waited there, barely leaving it on the off chance that he'd come when she was gone. Today, however, she'd woken up with an odd sense of...distance toward the red head who had taken her heart.
He wasn't coming home.
His promise to never leave had been broken and the sidhe was surprised to find that the hollow feeling that it left in her was near overwhelming. For the last few months, she'd pushed it out of her mind, but today, the truth was right there in front of her.
Kay pushed the ratty covers off of her, slowly slipping out of bed and pushing her feet into her slippers off to the side (since, try as she might, she'd never been able to clean that floor to a satisfactory level) and stood up. Her robe was wrapped around her, secured tightly, as she started walking through the small apartment. First the bathroom, where his razors and toiletries resided. They hadn't been used in so long - she wouldn't need them there. Unceremoniously, the sidhe dumped them into the trash can before picking it up and moving onto the bedroom. All of his clothing left behind was added into the bin, except for the soulstone that he'd left behind for safety. That...That was hers.
All traces of him were moved into the trash bin before she took it outside, setting it on the curb for the truck to take away. Quietly, she stared at the inside of the bin, tears prickling at her eyes. This was her best friend, and she was never seeing him again. By doing this, it was freeing, at the same time as sorrowful.
Shaking her head, she climbed back up the stairs, to the small night stand where the stone had been left. Bracing herself, the iron necklace was placed over her head, a wince and gasp of pain being heard as it settled against her chest and a wave of nausea passed over her.
And then, doing the only thing left, she sank down onto the bed she alone now owned, and cried. Malum was right, though. Things...would be different this time. She just had to find the strength for it to happen. Somehow, the boy had made it that much easier to find. Kay had much to thank him for.
Even in the midst of her heartbreaking tears, she knew that.
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Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 4:01 pm
A Heavy Realization January 20th, 2008 Journal,
Today was likely the hardest thing that I've ever had to face. Harder than the Headquarter incident, harder than Matilda's death. Harder than facing my past. Well, perhaps not quite as hard as that one, as apparently I still have issues that I'm not willing to openly admit anywhere...But...
Callix is not coming home. I know that. I've known it for a while, but this morning when I woke up the realization hit me like a brick, straight in the nose. I say that because generally when you're hit in the nose, no matter how hard it is, your eyes start to water. Stupid analogy, I suppose, but it' s the best I have right now and it's not like you could laugh at me for my lameness.
The realization was hard enough, but the removal of his things was harder so. There's nothing left in here of him but memories. Of this bed, of the day I woke up, of the days that followed. Of when I fell in love with him, though I've never been certain until now that he didn't return the feelings. He wouldn't have left, if he had, right?
I suppose this is the first time that I've ever openly admitted it. I was, and still am, in love with Callix. It did nothing, it does nothing, but there it is. Now that I've written it down, I can start to move past it. I don't know. I'm never certain about anything anymore. Well...I'm certain of one thing. I can't stay here anymore. I can't keep living like I am. It's not me, it never has been me. Never will be. It was a defense, and a weak one. One that ruined me more than anything else. I have a job that I feel sick going to. I have a home that isn't a home at all, just a dirty broken down hole in the wall. I've lived here the greater part of a year and I have nothing to show for it except my own self loathing and two beautiful guitars. What's worse is I know it'll...take a lot to get me out of this mentality, since I've seem to convince myself that this is a good life. The right thing to do. This seems to be a moment of clarity far and few between.
What brought on these realizations? One person who I doubted I'd ever even show a bit of like for. Malum. The little brat told me to take my clothes off for him...I did it, help me, but it wasn't like that. Not in the least. He made me feel safe, like everything really would be okay. He showed me how I used to be. What he saw when he looked at me. He broke me down and built me back up, better than I was before. And then he left me with his jacket and went away.
I've had a lot of time to think. Maybe he's right. It doesn't have to be like this, and it won't be like it was before.
I just hope I can keep this clarity.
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Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 4:05 pm
Contemplation In which Coailiann realizes that she's thoroughly ********, with no money, and rent coming up in a week.
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Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 6:51 pm
An Unexpected Surprise //Coailiann & Yashima
"Adam, I really need my money. You c..can't take that much this time. Please. Rent's due and I-"
"You get yer twenty percent and like it, girlie, got it?"
"But, Adam, I--"
There was a loud smack as his hand sailed across her cheek and Coailiann winced, anger and fear both running paralell through her though she didn't dare make a noise after that. He took the money, leaving her with sixty dollars (not nearly enough to eat for a month, let alone pay her rent which was due in two days) and trying not to cry. Taking a deep breath, the sidhe straightened herself out, the red of her chest highly visible - puffed, swollen - where the necklace hung against it.
She was so screwed.
Her hand reached out for the black jacket - Malum's - that was hanging on the wooden knob and she pulled it around her mostly naked body. It felt safe, in that jacket. Warm. And she was covered, except for her legs. Kind of easy to tell that she was naked under it, or at least wearing a super short skirt. Malum was taller than her, but that didn't mean the jacket went down to her ankles. Her purse was grabbed, the sixty shoved inside, and after checking her face in the mirror (slightly red from where the hand had hit, but otherwise perfectly done with that stage makeup) she sighed and stepped out of the club, stiletto heels clacking against the pavement as she began to walk down the streets.
She wanted to get home, but at the same time it was terrible going back there. And she was starving. It was decided then and there that since she wouldn't be making rent anyway, she may as well have a nice meal. It was unlikely that any restraurant was still open at this time of night, but the sidhe didn't seem to care. She'd search. At least it would give her time in the night air to think about things.
It wasn't very cold out anymore, at least, she thought as she walked down the street, sticking to the sidewalk. Unfortunately for her, none of the buildings had their lights on except the more rowdy bars. Like hell she'd go in there. Where once she had adored the attention, she seemed to loathe it now.
Yashima... was not entirely sure why he had let Hiroshi talk him into going to his place for an after-work party. The girls had been there, his sensei had been there and at least this time he hadn't drank too much. While the aftermath of that first time had been entertaining (Zah insisted that he had called the drow 'master' but all Yashi could remember were the non-spoken details and some laughter), the hangover that next morning had totally not been worth it, nor had the vomiting.
The idiot lived in the most disgusting part of Durem imaginable. He had his work clothing in a small duffle bag slung diagnally across his chest and was dressed instead in his fitted dark jeans and a slightly loose red t-shirt, with the bright gold design of his resteraunt embroidered on the back. Hair loose, eyes narrowed in the dark of the night and a small take -out box tucked under his other arm.
His resteraunt was on the good side of town. Yashi had the sneaking suspicion that if it hadn't been, Zah would have grumbled at him to change it. Ah well.
As soon as he turned onto the street, though, a familier sight met his eyes. A familier person, about a hundered feet in front of him. Granted, the clothing wasn't normal but... The hair. The walk, he knew. It was slightly more defeated then he had seen but it was the familier, familier walk.
"Kay!"
The poor Sidhe nearly jumped a mile into the air as her voice was called out. Had someone followed her? She paled significantly as she looked around, green eyes frightened until they landed on Yashima and her heartbeat, which had quickened, started to calm down in her already constricted chest. Taking a deep breath, one of the girl's hands went to her chest and she closed her eyes, "You scared me," she said, taking a few steps toward him before looking over her shoulder to make sure she really hadn't been followed. "What are you doing here?" Kay asked a moment later. Not that she wasn't glad to see him - she was - but at the same time she was really ashamed.
Nobody knew what she did for a living. Nobody. Hell, nobody even knew that she lived in this dump. Anyone who had talked to her likely assumed she was fine with the quality of clothes she wore.
Yes. Definately Kay. She had changed - they all had, though, hadn't they? - but it was her. She looked scared, he noted, scared of him. That alone was puzzling but if he was able to quell the stab of fear flaring through him at the sight of the dominant female, she should as well. ....so there.
Either way, he did not bother to smile at her to reassure her. Yashima, as had been obvious when he was a child, wasn't a large smilier anymore. Actions, louder then words, all of that jazz. Instead, the hand not bound down with food rose up in a slight salute towards the woman.
"A coworker lives around here." Yashima all but sniffed out. It was apparently just how high of an opinion he held of the place. "We all came to his place for food. I am heading back to my home now." A hesitation. "What are you doing here?"
"I, uh," Coailiann started, trying to figure out if she could get away with lying. Sidhe weren't supposed to, it was supposed to be impossible for those of the faerie race to do so when asked a direct question. But that didn't seem to hold true with her, and times like this she was thankful for it, "I..." Well, there really was no beating around the bush, "I live here too." There. She said it. It was out and now she was waiting for him to recoil in disgust or whatever it was he would do. Still, though, despite expecting it, her head was held high and she tried to speak with dignity over it.
She kind of failed, but it was a valliant effort on her part. After a moment she looked side to side, "I was simply looking for a place to eat this evening. Have some extra money," yeah right, "and decided to treat myself." More like actually eat something that didn't consist of the 'college kid diet'.
The fox wrinkled his nose almost delicately over the declaration but said nothing. So, she lived here, did she? How... nice, for her. It wasn't he imagined for the immaculate, high matinence sidhe but things happened to everyone. Oh, well.
"It is not the best place to live, Kay." Well, no giant leap of intelligance there, Yashima. Again, he shifted, taking the box of food and holding it out towards his former best friend. She wasn't the Kay he had known but he wasn't the Yashima she had known, either. "You may have this, if you'd like. I made it."
A pause.
"Well, I stirred the rice. That's all I'm allowed to do, for now."
She fought the urge to huff at him, snap at him, maybe even make a sarcastic comment or two - but she held it back. "I know." Was all she said, giving a small shrug of her shoulders. "No other place." She had her pride, she supposed. Not that it was much at this point. When the food was held out to her, she looked at it for a moment before a half smile touched her lips. She may have had pride, but she was also very hungry. "Thank you," she murmured toward him, reaching out her hands to take the box. The jacket, which wasn't done up, slipped slightly to reveal her black stripper get-up and she blushed furiously, quickly closing it and nearly dropping the food in her haste. Thankfully, she didn't.
"I'm sure it's good." And she really couldn't wait to eat it.
"It better be good. He's supposed to teach me and if he can't cook, I'll have to beat him into a pulp." He joked. Well. He tried to joke. Yashima never really got the hang of joking. Usually it came off as a little strange but talk of cooking, talk of his sensei... All of it just relaxed him. "I believe it to be good, at any rate, but I'm a fan of traditional food. If you are not..." A hesitation and a shrug. "It's still good."
Personal bubbles outside of his own also didn't bother the fox oovermuch. He took a step closer to the female, his hand reaching out to hook lightly in the collar of the jacket. Yashima did not yank at the cloth but... he touched. The foxes fingers were only trembling slightly.
"What is this?"
She smiled at that, "So that's what you're going to do? Be a cook? I never would have expected. But I'm proud of you, for knowing what you want. And doing it." It made her happy to know that one who had been so close to her was doing well now. It made her...feel better. As selfish as it was, she did feel better.
Though when his hand hooked and touched at her jacket - Malum's jacket - she froze and coughed, "That would be a jacket, Yashima."
"A chef." He corrected, lightly. "Traditional Japanese. I am... good at it. Zah is taking over a dojo." That, instead of being said as a fact, as his occupation had been, was stated with a ring of pride to it. Yashimas chin lifted a scant bit. Zasalamel - HIS Zasalamel - was being trained to take over a dojo. It was something he found pride in.
Now his fingers curled delicately, tugged at the jacket as his eyes narrowed, just a tad. "Your cheek is red, Kay. What is this?"
"Then I'm proud of you both," she restated, "For being a chef and...whatever it is Zah will be, as I'm not really sure what that is." Well, she never did claim to be the brightest crayon in the box, for certain. But really, she was happy for her friend and aquaintence, more than they would know.
Then Yashima had to go and mention the handprint on her cheek, and she closed her eyes, "It's nothing, Yashima. There was a disagreement, and my boss hit me. That's all."
Eyes glowed. For a moment, Yashis hair flashed a brilliant scarlet before fading the the now-normal ebony. His free hand, the one not hooked in her jacket, rose to touch the slightly brightened cheek.
"Where do you work, Kay?" He queried, tone innocent. Had it been at any other time, with any other action or person, it would have been. Unfortunately, Yashima was no such person. "And what sort of boss requires this dress?"
Her chest heaved slightly, the iron making it difficult for her to breathe a bit - worse in difficult situations. "At Treasures." It was the name of the club that she danced at, and she prayed that Yashima wasn't going to ask anymore questions about it, and take it as it was. But if Yashi was anything like she remembered...Well, he really wasn't, was he? She didn't truly know what his reaction would be, if he knew the name.
"And not the nicest one." That one she could answer fully and honestly. She hated that man.
Luckily for Kays boss, Yashi had never heard of the strip club. He didn't frequent them and knew no one who did. At least, he hadn't heard of it. His his hand remained where it was, stroking idly over her skin, but his lips turned into a gentle frown. There was nothing sexual or in the least bit romantic in his touch; Kay had been his closest friend. He still worried.
"I will keep that in mind, then, Kay." Like his touch, Yashimas voice was gentle. He pulled away abruptly, all business now. "Come with me to our apartment. I'll make you fresh food."
"I don't want to be a burden or a bother, Yashima," she murmured softly, clutching at the food box in her arms right then, "I'm okay. I won't be living here in another few days, anyway." It was true - she had no idea what she'd do once the rent was due and the landlady had given her extensions the last month. She wasn't nice enough to do it again. It was harder to make ends meet when living alone, for sure.
Though she desperately WANTED to go with Yashima. His voice was soft. He was soft. He was the friend she remembered.
"We have a spare room. There is no bed but we have mats. And a couch. Blankets. Food. A lock, on our door." There was no arguing with that tone. Yashima held out his hand to his friend, eyes on her measuringly. "Come with me. Zah should have no objects to you staying the night as long as you put on a kimono of mine. He is easily jealous."
He paused. "Come with me, Kay. We do not know each other as we are now, but we were friends, once. Believe in me once more."
Green eyes opened and drifted down to the hand that was held out to her. Contridictions. So many, running about inside her head. However, the last words that the kitsune spoke made her sigh and she shifted so the food would not spill and allowed her free hand to hesitantly go out and take hold of his.
"Thank you."
Her voice was a mumble, as though for once the faerie didn't know what else to say. Speechless. It wasn't often that the smart mouth girl was speechless.
"Thank me once I convince my lover." Yashima smiled quietly, a little secretly, and he tugged her off, towards the slowly-being-decorated home. If Zah DID have a problem, Yashi would at least insist she stay the night, and for breakfast. The drow couldn't be that upset.
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Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 12:02 pm
A Night Of Security //Coailiann & Yashima cont
Fwee
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Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 12:07 pm
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Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2008 4:16 pm
A Gathering Of Possessions //Coailiann & Yashima
The few days that Kay had stayed with them had sped by for Yashima in a blur of cooking, work, idle, pointless chit chat and sleep. One of the chefs had left in a huff about a week before Kay had arrived, resulting in double hours for the fox and while it was good for the pocket book, the extended time at the resteraunt was taking an extreme toll on him. Yashima was tired.
At least he didn't look it? Zah made sure he slept enough, despite the Drow being a complete and utter insomniac himself. Weird a** dark elf.
The sun was setting an it was an exceedingly rare day that the fox had off. He decided it was time to have Kay go get her things; she couldn't just abandon her place of living with her clothing and... whatever else it was that girls had. Hn. Yashima rapped at the door to his friends bedroom, his voice rising from it's usual tone in order for her to hear him.
"Kay! We should go get your things."
Kay had enjoyed the last few days at Yashima's house. It was safe, the bed was warm, and she had regular food that didn't have anything to do with grease and whatever she could cook on her double boiler. She'd been curled up on that bed, eyes closed, and thinking rather hard about things to try and sort them out in her head when she heard Yashima's voice through the door. Oh. Oh god. She didn't want him to see that apartment! "I could go myself," she said, though wasn't sure he could hear her with her soft response.
Off the bed she went, making her way to the door to pull it open and look at the fox, "You wouldn't like the place, Yashima," she said after a moment, "I know you've been working hard. You shouldn't have to deal with it on your day off."
"No." Well, that left room for argument. He gave kay a flat look, his arms crossed over his chest. The fox had changed into a very loose, very large robe and somehow managed to still look dignified. But, his lips quirked into a little grin, his head cocked to the side. "You did not live in the best place of Durem and I will not have you going back there alone, especially if your boss knows where you live."
Then, he changed. He slipped into a frame that was six feet, seven inches tall, broad at the shoulders and muscular enough to have Patrick firmly convinced he'd crush him. Olive skin, strong jaw and large, fluffed up black hair bound back to create a cloud of hair. Yashima smirked, the robe now fitted.
"No one will bother us." He rumbled.
"Yashi.." she started, not knowing if he was even decent in the art of fighting. She had been out of touch with him for so long that it seemed silly to her now that she didn't know much about him and was staying in his spare bedroom. However, she did know that he was a very stubborn young man and arguing with him would generally be futile. He had a point, too. She hadn't shown up for work in days and chances were...her boss was rather pissed off at her. She'd been the one to bring in the most money, night after night, and losing that much money had never been a very good way to make him happy.
However, she really wasn't expecting him to change forms on her and when he did, she stared at him with blank green eyes. "Well. That's. Interesting." She had never seen him do that before - must have been his talent from his past life, or something.
"I should say not," she mumbled, "Though I'm still a bit worried."
"This is the form of Tousans new boyfriend. He is very large and will probably be very angry when I apologize to him." He shrugged and took a step back from the doorframe. "You look a little surprised. Ah. Kitsune shapeshift into mortals in order to trick them. Kumo gave me that gift, along with the mask. Excuse me while I change."
Maybe he wasn't squishy with her as he was with Zasalamel, but he'd loosened up a bit in those few days. Yashima escaped from the room and reappeared a few moments later in properly fitted clothing, cracking his knuckles experimentally.
"Are we off, Kay? Lead the way."
"Patrick has a new boyfriend?" Well, she certainly did miss quite a lot, didn't she? When Yashima went to go change, Coailiann reached for Malum's coat and put it firmly around her again. Well, she'd been wearing the same clothing for the last few days, even though she'd washed it several times. But then, it was her stripper clothing, and that was never good to go out in.
"All right. You better not let anything happen to me," she said, leaning up and giving the large-thing a hug before moving out of the house and down the street. It was a long way to her apartment, past the 'decent' part of durem, past the bad part, and into the absolutely seediest part. And even past that she went. The people seemed to recognize her very easily, making lewd comments and catcalls which left Kay blushing furiously as she tried to ignore them. Finally they got to her apartment, a run down shack with creaky stairs that were definitely not up to safety zoning codes. "Here it is..."
It was murmured softly as she unlocked the door - which had at least six different locks on it, for her own safety, and entered. There was two rooms. One larger, with a broken down, ugly and horribly used bed off in the corner. The kitchen consisted of a sink, a double boiler, and a miniature fridge - and the bathroom was a hole in the wall, with a door, a shower against the wall, and a toilet. There was a sink in there too, and above it was a broken mirror. "Home sweet home."
They shut up the second Yashima turned those dark eyes and that scowl on them; those assholes didn't stand a chance against him and they knew him. The sneers didn't cease but those Kay couldn't hear. He didn't bother caring past there. Yashima said nothing as they approached the ......'home'. Hn.
Yashima kept his fae very carefully flat as he surveyed the place Kay had spent the last - year? - in and crossed his arms over his chest.
"Get your things, please."
Coailiann gave a nod of her head and moved to the hole in the wall closet, picking her clothing - perhaps the only nice thing in the entire house - up and carefully folding it. She had no suitcases, as everything she had had been aquired while she lived there, and once she was done she looked around, finding a clean sheet - okay, it was stained but it had been laundered - and put the stack inside it. Next came her few small knick-knacks were added into the sack, in ways they wouldn't break. Her two guitars came next, though she had no way to put those in the sheet and closed it off, tying the white-yellow material so nothing fell out.
"Yashima...I have one more favor to ask of you." She was pushing it, but it was important.
Yashima merely... watched. He wasn't here to help her pack or to judge her (too much) on the previous living conditions. She was going to get a better job - whether it was with a stripping job that had actual morals when it came to paying their girls or a 9-5 gig - and she was going to leave this place behind. Forever.
He glanced at her when Kay spoke, though, yanked from his own inner thoughts. Dark eyebrows furrowed as he lifted his chin. Still. She sounded a little hesitant. It probably wasn't something too horrible. Maybe.
"Yes?"
There was a deep breath and she lowered the jacket slightly, showing the very red and irritated flesh. It didn't look healthy, and it was below the iron necklace that held her soulstone. This was the ultimate 'I Trust You' statement, here, but she closed her eyes and indicated to the necklace, "Will you wear this? Keep it close and not let anything happen to it? It's...very important, and I can't wear it anymore. It's making me sick." Literally. It had made it hard for her to breathe, and her stomach was constantly rolling, and soon it would be much worse.
Like hell she'd leave it off alone. It had to be worn by someone, someone she trusted.
Well, ********. She had been wearing a necklace and she was looking rather ....blistery. It was, apparently, very important. Yashima frowned and moved over to his old friend to pluck the necklace up and study it.
"Luckily for you," The fox said finally, "Zah is not prone to grabbing things during sex. What is it, Kay? Why do you look so hurt?" The hand that was not holding the necklace rose as well. His finger stroked delicately at the bright pink flesh, expression puckering into that of dislike.
"Yes, I will wear it."
"It's my soulstone," she stated, feeling absolutely relieved that Yashima would hold it for her, "If it's destroyed, or hurt...I...die." It was simple, but the only other person who knew of its existence was Callix, so this was very special. "Unfortunately, I can't wear it. I can't go anywhere with steel or iron. It makes me very sick." Hands reached up to undo the fastening behind her and let the necklace fall into Yashima's hand.
"Callix wore it before but he..." She trailed off, looking mildly helpless.
"Was a d**k." Yashima supplied. He hesitated a minute before he put the necklace on, fingering the stone briefly. "It is safe with me, Kay. I promise."
The fox fell silent for a long moment after the promise; his hand had rose once more to the stone, petted it while he thought. Finally, yashima sighed and frowned at his one-time best friend. He knew he was fidgeting, shifting from foot to foot and glancing down once.
"I should tell you why I. Changed. With us, especially."
"He was," Kay agreed, frowning and shrugging her shoulders, "I know it's safe with you. Moreso than with him." She didn't understand why the incubus had abandoned her, but she wasn't quite ready to let all that out, not just yet.
However, the comment Yashi made next was very unexpected and she blinked, moving to sit down on the horribly stained and dirty bed. What did it matter, she slept in it after all! "You don't have to, Yashi..." Well, she was curious, but she'd never pry. Not about that.
His hand waved, looking rather feminine and 'gay' coming from such a large, muscular man. Yashima remained silent for another long moment before he sat, heavily, on the ground, his legs crossing in front of him.
"When I hit kid, I got memories of this really... kind of crazy b***h lady. Then there was blood and screaming. I kind of hid from you and got bitchy because you were both.. Very dominating. She had pale skin, the color of your hair, and she could act like you sometimes. It was freaky." He frowned and tilted his head back. He was squinting at the ceilig. "She ended up being a goddess - the half-breed b***h to a water god, and wife to Inari. He was my master. A little silly. I had an affair with her toy, Sakura. She was furious when she found out and I confronted her in his form.
"She cut my face." Another vague gesture, this time towards his cheeks where the marks still laid. "Screamed at me, tried to kill me. She wasn't very nice to begin with, when we firt met. I was almost expecting it. So I ran and she had me chased down. Ripped apart."
Yashima didn't realize he had been frowning - scowling really - at a random point at the wall. He shook his head quickly, dark eyes going back to the fae.
"I cut out a lot of people, really. Zah was there with me when I grew - he did too. We fought our battles together and we got... together. It wasn't just you but with you... I pushed you away so violently because of your resemblence to her. It wasn't because I hated you. I hated her. She scared me."
Coailiann remained there quietly, listening to what Yashima had to say. There was a lot, and she remembered just how bad getting to Kid could be. She'd taken it much better than him, apparently. However, she hadn't really been expecting that she looked like someone from his past. That...Was mildly off putting. She didn't like the thought of looking like anyone but herself.
One of her hands moved out, touching over the cheeks that were gestured toward and she frowned, "I see." Coailiann murmured slowly, "I can understand that, I guess. You could have told me that, though." Pause. Could she have told him what happened to her? Probably not. "Actually, I take that back. Thank you for telling me now. I never hated you, or anything. I was just hurt because you were my best friend. And you changed so much."
A half smile touched her lips, "I suppose you could say the same about me, huh?" Her hand was pulled away and she indicated around the room to the hole she'd been staying in. "God, Yashi, we're a pair of ******** up brats."
By the end of it, Yashima was starting to feel a bit skittish. It was rare that he ever opened his heart and told ayone anything like that - not even Zah knew the full out details. He knew a goddess had him killed, she hurt him for falling in love. He knew Yashi well enouogh not to pry and Yashi knew him well enough to simply listen when the Drow spoke.
Despite that, he flinched a little at the touch to his cheek. He was still a large man, in that form, and he could have easily broken Kay in several ways but.. he flinched. Yashima remained quiet as she spoke and only allowed his eyes to flicker about when she brought it up.
"We were murdered in foul ways, Kay." The fox said instead. He reached over and fondly gave her hair a little ruffle. "Ad we were forced to relive it. I believe we have reason to."
Yashima grinned. "I am not going oto be taking a bath with you again, though."
"Well at least you won't be horrified by my lack of a p***s if you do. That picture has been pasted on my mother's wall..." she trailed off before giving a warm laugh. "You know, if you can share I..." Could she honestly explain everything about what happened to her? It was a fair trade, wasn't it?
"I suppose I can. What I was, in Ireland, Yashima. I was untouchable. Pure. I was...almost worshipped? I don't even know the full of it, really, just that I was special. I was to remain a virgin, because it made my power stronger or...whatever it was they believed. It makes no sense to me now. But the prince. I grew up with him like a brother. The king at the time killed my parents when they found me, because of who they thought I was, and he took me as his daughter.
"I knew him like my father. I loved him. And when he died, the new king, the one I took as my brother, became obsessed with me. By the time I was old enough, by the time we were old enough, he kept making passes at me. I refused him. I had a tongue on me, really. Just like I do now. I pissed him off....He..." Her hand shook a bit as she gripped her other with it, holding it until her already pale skin was almost bone white over her knuckles, "He finally snapped, raped me for three days. He let me go, and I, believing that the council was uncorrupted, pleaded with them. They said I was insane and threw me in the dungeons, on what I believe was his order. I was starved, and in the end? I died. Eaten by rats."
Then she was silent. Well, at least he'd know why she freaked out over Kiba.
Yashima remained silent throughout her tale, gripping her hand in return of her vice-grip. It was probably not the time to make an off-color joke on the kings stamina so... he held it back. In the end, he just dragged Kay closer, large arms wrapping around her for a tight hug.
"I highly dislike those of power from our pasts." The fox muttered, leaning down to nuzzle at her white hair. "They still corrupt, still hurt. They deserve what they dished out."
He sighed, stroked her hair for another moment, and finally stepped back. Yashimas resolve was once more in placec but they had opened up, hadn't they? Finally. It was about time, all things considered.
"We should leave, Kay."
She leaned against him, grateful for his presence. She hadn't even told Callix. Not all of it. Some of it. So Yashima really was pretty damn special for her opening up. It was nice to have that again. A friend. "I do too," she concurred with his sentiment, "The pain just will not go away. Sometimes I resent Matty for it. For bringing us back. I don't get why. At least dead? We didn't have to think about it. Now it's...stuck on us?"
She shrugged, and when Yashi mentioned leaving it was likely the best route, she had to agree. "The longer we stay here, the more likely someone told....That I'm around. I'll have to go there, again. At some point. I have some things there..." Not much, but it was there. Her good luck charm.
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Posted: Mon May 12, 2008 2:07 pm
Reconciliation
Mother's Day
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Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 5:48 pm
The Search Is On
Coailiann attacks the papers in search of a job.
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Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 5:51 pm
Interviews & Disappointment
Several interviews and no luck.
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Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 5:59 pm
Blast From The Past
Youth Quest Part 1
The dreams could not be called nightmares by a long shot. There were no scary monsters chasing her, she did not show up for school without her pants, and there was no surprise test thrown at her. Her feet were not stuck to the ground keeping her from running, she was not falling, and she was not in great peril. This did not stop the dreams from being troubling.
Tired, sleep deprived eyes were turned ceiling-ward. She could not sleep. Every time she closed her eyes there was a feeling of being watched that unsettled her and caused her stomach to roll. Instinctively, she reached for her soulstone which had sat at the bedside table only to find it not there.
...Right. She'd given it to Yashima before she'd moved in. With her brain half disoriented, Coailiann rolled onto her stomach and closed her eyes tightly. The feeling picked up again, causing a shudder to go through her body and eyes to snap open again, staring at the rumpled black and white of her pillowcase. This wasn't going to work. This lack of sleep was getting to her and the woman didn't do well with being cranky. Nobody did well with her being cranky.
For the past three nights each time she closed her eyes she saw home. She saw flashes of her life before that she'd had to relive. But there was something different - the perspective was off. They were the same halls that she remembered. Carved from earth and smelling of sweetness and sod. The same floors, lined marble and stone. The same doors, polished wood with the strong smell of magic used to prevent decay from age. But it...wasn't the same, either. There were...differences, but they were so subtle the sidhe could not put her finger on them. It was going to drive her mad, she knew it.
One thing was for certain, though...She needed to go home. Coailiann could not live with this hanging over her head any longer - eventually she would lose her mind from the lack of sleep. People could do that, right? She wasn't naive enough to believe everything she saw on the television any longer but that didn't mean she couldn't wonder about it. How accurate were those doctor shows anyway?
Quietly, she pushed herself out of bed and made her way toward the living room to wait for Yashima to return from work. She couldn't do it alone. Well, she probably could but honestly she didn't know how dangerous it was. Usually dreams meant bad things. At least dreams that were recurring and gave her these kinds of feelings. Alas, Kay was anything but a psychic or a fortune teller. She was not ept in dream analysis (she'd probably have to poke Kishi for that one, and lord knew she was not going to touch that can of worms with a fishing pole at that point) and lacked a computer to look it up to help. Not that the internet would help her, anyway. Not with this. She did not figure there would be much on 'creepy feelings of being watched while sleeping that makes stomach physically ill and causes sleep deprivation"
Yashima would understand. He'd gone through the same horrible deaths anyone had gone through that Matilda had brought back. Sometimes, having to face ones fears was the hardest thing of all - worse than having to relive your life and death.
What if something was watching her? Something from her past had actually found her and haunted her? Nevermind how it could have happened. It was Gaia and she'd seen stranger things walking down the streets eating an ice cream cone like it was the most normal thing in the world.
Sighing, Kay lowered herself into the chair and stared at the door. Please be home soon.
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Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 6:00 pm
I Need This
Youth Quest Part 2
"I need to go home." It was the first thing out of Kay's mouth when Yashima came through the door from work, her green eyes hard and determined. Well, as hard and determined as a girl who looked like she hadn't had sleep in three or so nights could possibly convey. Usually, the sidhe would be in bed by then, considering she'd been spending much of her time pouring over the newspapers and going to job interviews. Much to her disappointment, she'd gotten absolutely nothing at that point.
It was driving the poor girl mad. However, she continued at it and, surprisingly enough didn't complain about it. This was a feat in itself when it came from her.
Yashima, however, was tired as all hell. The day had been long and rough and he was FINALLY allowed to do some small chores around the kitchen that didn't directly involve washing dishes or stirring rice. While he wasn't allowed to make the food completely, his teacher had at least begun to trust him with things like the salmon salad and other such items. Still. It was long as Zah was gone for the night - or not until much later - so it meant he was going to fall dead asleep all by himself.
So, all Kay received was a droll, tired, unamused look.
"I'm sure your mother would be thrilled. What does it have to do with me?"
Ah. Right. She needed to explain herself. The sidhe twisted her fingers together in her lap, taking a deep, slow breath. "I...don't mean the Headquarters, Yashima. I mean home. Ireland." The girl lifted her head to look at her friend, nights of an hour of sleep at best seeming to catch up with her. "I can't...not go there. I don't know if that makes any sense, but I feel like I need to go there." There was a nagging little voice in the back of her head, and the dreams she had been having were eating at her, wearing away at her until there was very little else to conclude.
Something wanted her there.
"Ireland? Since when do people go to Ireland? Isn't it full of cereal loving midgets?" He shook his head a little and Yashima yawned, pushed past her. Yashima scrubbed at his eye with the meat of his palm before he slipped past the sidhe and went towards the kitchen. "Do you need money for a plane ticket, then?"
He was an idiot this late at night.
Obviously.
Coailiann pursed her lips, standing up from the couch, smoothing out her skirt - she still hadn't gotten into her night clothes - and followed her friend into the kitchen. "I can sleep with someone for the money if I need it. I don't plan on asking you for any kind of money." Eh, sad, but true. She'd mostly cleaned up her act but if there was a shortage of money on her part, she really did hate asking for help and would take it upon herself to get what she needed. Even if it wasn't exactly legal. "I need you to go with me."
There was a pause. "And there aren't any cereal loving midgets in Ireland. I was born there. Twice."
"You were born in Ireland once. You were born on Gaia the other." He rolled his eyes and grabbed at a small bottle of water. The fox flicked it open and leaned against the counter. It was then that he actually paid attention to Kay, eyebrows arched.
"You want me to go with you to the land of green midgets?"
"No. I was born in Ireland twice." She frowned, "I know where I was born. Matty found me in the hills as an infant." Her sister had told her stories of how she found many of the children, and so had her mother. "I had no wand, and so there was no real record of me. So she gave me to Mother. Actually, none of the children were actually born on Gaia...Anyway. Yes, I want you to with me to Ireland."
Apparently, her snarky fox friend wasn't the brightest bulb in the box around this time.
"I distinctly remember waking up in my crib as an infant." He replied primly, chin rising a bit in his brief stubbornness but, finally, the fox sighed. He drank the water quickly, the empty bottle tossed into the sink with a careless ease. "Well. Fine. I just need time in order to tell my work that I need time off."
"I'd like to go within three days, if it's possible. These past few nights with no sleep are getting to me, and I don't think my dreams will stop until I step foot in Ireland." There were things there that she had to face anyway. At least, that was what the dreams led her to believe. Why else would they be plaguing her like they were?
Coailiann tiredly rubbed at her eyes before moving to hug the fox, "Thank you. I...can't go alone, you know?" And besides, who else would she ask? Kishi? Ha! She hadn't spoken to her sister since Matilda died, and frankly, they'd never gotten along over much anyway. Yashima held her soulstone, and if she could trust him with her life like that, she could trust him with her shaky grasp of what she had to do.
"Three days works." Yashima stifled the urge to give her a flick for rubbing at her eyes, but he just raised his arm and gave her shoulder a little squeeze. "You can definitely go alone, Kay. You just don't want to - which is understandable. I need to go back to Japan soon... But that'll be alone." He grinned, took a step back from her.
Yashima walked to his bedroom, yawning softly. "--Is Zah home yet? I need sleep. We'll make the cemented plans in the morning but I'm tired, Kay."
"I...don't think he's home. Or if he is, he's sleeping." she answered, seeming so relieved now that her friend had said he'd go with her. Maybe tonight the nightmares wouldn't plague her as badly as they had been - god that would just be a miracle, wouldn't it? She didn't think it would happen. "Sleep well, Yashi." She let him go into his room and then made a beeline for hers.
As predicted, it wasn't the most fitful sleep in the universe - but a weight had certainly been taken off her mind.
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