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 Posted: Tue Jul 18, 2017 1:03 pm
Hot sharp flares of agony tore through his chest with every shuddering breath, and his breaths didn't feel deep enough. His head spun and his guts twisted with nausea as images of what he thought had been done with his best friend's body flashed violent and bloody though his mind's eye. Meat.
Zevran retched, swallowed hard, pushed away from Abel and staggered to his feet, stumbled towards the bathroom grabbing walls and Abel's arm for support. His knees hit the pretty stone floor but not very hard and he managed to lean over the toilet before he started throwing up.
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Posted: Tue Jul 18, 2017 1:17 pm
Holding him as he was the first retch was enough to tell him exactly what was going on - or what would be going on in short order - so Abel wasn't surprised in the least when the shorter blond stood abruptly and stumbled forward. He was quick to stand as well, supporting him as best he could to the bathroom, and it wasn't until Zevran dropped to the ground that Abel let go of him, but only long enough to kneel himself. His hands darted forward to gently, carefully wrap around his boyfriend's hair and pull it back out of the way, and held it with one hand while the other dropped down to hesitate a few moments before reaching over to curl around Zevran's shoulder. The sound of him vomiting made his own innards somersault but he forced the feeling down, instead focusing on keeping Zev's hair out of the way until he'd finished.
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BlackFireKitsune Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Jul 18, 2017 1:25 pm
Eventually his stomach stopped heaving, he'd stopped crying too. His chest felt as though it had been torn open. He was exhausted. He felt weak, wasn't sure that he could stand. Zevran raised one shaking hand to wipe his mouth and swallowed hard. <********>
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Posted: Tue Jul 18, 2017 1:31 pm
Thankfully his stomach stopped threatening solidarity long before Zevran stopped throwing up, and once he did Abel let his hair slip through his fingers, waited a moment to make sure he wasn't about to fall over or anything, then once assured he wouldn't he reached up for a small cloth. "Here," he said as he ran it under cold water, wrung out some of the excess, then passed it to his boyfriend to use however he needed or wanted to. "You should probably drink water; I can get you some if you want." Asking 'how do you feel' seemed kind of too shitty a question to ask given the circumstances. He couldn't imagine Zev saying anything except 'horrible' or some variation thereof. What else could he be feeling? ...maybe he'd ask in a minute anyway.
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BlackFireKitsune Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Jul 18, 2017 1:47 pm
Zevran took the cloth and wiped his face with it, doing so seemed to take a huge amount of effort but it was worth it to clean away the tears and the sheen of sweat. After a few moments he looked up at Abel, his skin was pallid and he was smiling glassily; stiff, prone to shattering. "So why is it that- that whenever I throw up around you- it's not just because I've- had too much fun- too many drinks?" He had to stop several times during the sentence to take shallow breaths, deeper ones were too painful. "Water. Yes. Please."
It was then that he realised he was still holding onto the chain of the coin; he looked down at it an his fixed smile faded into something distant and unreadable.
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Posted: Tue Jul 18, 2017 2:08 pm
Once more Abel found his heart threatening to crumble and fall back down to his feet at the look on his love's face, puffy after crying so much but no less precious for it. Regardless the taller blond aim a small, tentative smile at him. "I think you just like throwing up around me, like you're trying to see how much you can do it until I get grossed out or something," he joked as he pushed himself to his feet, opting for that instead of anything more serious. Maybe something more serious would've been better suited, but oh well. With little more than that he turned and stepped into the other room where he hastened to pull a bottle of water from the mini fridge, and on the way back to the bathroom he opened it before kneeling down to pass it to Zevran with a soft, "here."
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BlackFireKitsune Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Jul 18, 2017 2:20 pm
When Abel returned Zevran had shifted across the floor to lean back against the side of the hot tub; he was still looking down at the coin in his hand and it took him a few moments to register Abel's presence when he returned. "Thanks," Zevran murmured as he closed his hand around the large coin and then accepted the bottle. The first sip of the cool water was a great relief; he closed his eyes and took in a steady breath, held it a moment, released it.
"I wish you hadn't seen that. Any of that." It had taken him some time to think of anything at all to say and what came out in the end felt unsatisfactory. "Don't say you don't mind. I know you don't. You wanted me to say how I felt though? So." He was so exhausted he could hardly feel anything at all now but somewhere under the numbness there was shame, anxiety at having cried at all let alone in front of somebody. Knowing that Abel wasn't judging him - he wasn't was he? - didn't change those feelings.
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Posted: Tue Jul 18, 2017 3:21 pm
Abel scooted a bit closer and remained kneeling so he could comfortably slide an arm around his boyfriend's shoulders without putting too much pressure on him. He didn't reply right away. Instead he waited a few moments to mull it over before he shrugged a little. "I can understand that. It's a really... vulnerable kind of thing, the sort of thing you don't want to do in front of anyone else. I'm, uh, I'm the same way usually," he admitted with another small shrug, then pressed a soft kiss to Zevran's fine blond hair. "I did say that, and I'm glad you did. You doing okay now though?"
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BlackFireKitsune Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Jul 18, 2017 3:29 pm
Zevran allowed himself to lean a little against Abel and made a vague noise of agreement. "Physically? Fine," he lied smoothly. "A little weak, nothing more." There was no point complaining about the pain in his chest, he couldn't take any more meds yet and so for now he would just have to put up with it. As for the rest, he would just have to put up with that too. How could he put up with it? What he had done, what had followed, it was like something out of a nightmare. It was probably going to be a nightmare wasn't it and probably a tiresomely repetitive one. Tiresome, repetitive, dull; perhaps if he used language like that to himself he could make it a mere mundaneity, at least once he was awake.
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Posted: Tue Jul 18, 2017 4:06 pm
"Alright," he said with a nod, believing that absolutely not at all but refrained from voicing that. If Zevran wanted to say he was fine, then he wasn't going to prod him about it. After all how many times had he done the same thing? "I figured it probably would hurt, but I wasn't sure how much. But you need to drink more water," he reminded him gently as he curled his arm around Zev's shoulders a little more. Should he...? Shouldn't he....? Damn, he really wasn't good at this sort of thing. Uncertainty reigned for the moment, so Abel merely knelt there quietly instead of saying anything else, instead opting to see if his boyfriend had anything else he wanted to say or if he preferred to just sit in silence for a few minutes until he felt a little better.
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BlackFireKitsune Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Jul 18, 2017 4:13 pm
Abel was right and the cool water tasted good; Zevran took another sip. "Kneeling on the floor isn't very comfortable," he said in a neat if rather obvious segue. "Sitting on it is fine though, join me?" Perhaps in a few minutes and after he'd drunk some more water he'd be able to actually get up without too much assistance. Perhaps.
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Posted: Tue Jul 18, 2017 4:19 pm
Kneeling on the floor wasn't comfortable, but sitting on it wasn't a whole lot better. Regardless he shifted to sit instead of kneel, then slid closer to sit beside Zev before slipping his arm around his shoulders again and pressing a kiss to his temple. "You know I always love joining you no matter where you are."
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BlackFireKitsune Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Jul 18, 2017 4:30 pm
"Mmmh." Zevran smiled wanly and allowed his head to rest against Abel's shoulder. "I do know that." Being around Abel was always easy, well so long as he wasn't asking difficult questions anyway. Being around Taliesen had been too but it had been... different. Sharper, always an edge of challenge and competition. Lighter, whatever deep things they had felt they had both denied completely. How could it have ended like this?
Zevran took another sip of water and stared vacantly at the wall opposite them. Instead of the tasteful tiles he could see his old friend's face twisted up by rage, and he could see his body falling. Had Taliesen really hoped to go home afterwards or had he hoped they would die there together? Taliesen must have known that he would reach for his gun the moment he did, had he thought about that in the moment of rage? He would never know, one of many questions that he would never get an answer for.
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Posted: Tue Jul 18, 2017 4:42 pm
A soft smile curved his lips and he lightly rested his head atop Zevran's as he gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze. For a few long moments he remained silent, content to sit beside his love as he mulled everything over. Eventually, after weighing the pros and cons of such a question, he spoke up, "If you don't mind the question... how did they do funerals there? I'm guessing it's different than how it's done over here."
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BlackFireKitsune Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Jul 18, 2017 5:06 pm
Difficult questions like that one.
No, it wasn't difficult, it was just something he didn't want to think about. Zevran sighed. "Probably? I am not very familiar with how things are done here in turn. In Antiva though, in most of Thedas, people are cremated. Nevarans use tombs but they are very strange people. Putting them aside... Yes. Pyres. Family and friends attend, though the wealthy can have very large and elaborate affairs. Incense is burned, and sweet scented woods are used in the pyre by those who can afford it. Sandalwood is popular. People believe that by burning our remains returns our souls to the Maker beyond the void. No cremation, and your path to the afterlife is uncertain." Zevran gave a very soft huff of dark amusement and shook his head. "I always found that ironic, considering the Chant says that we burned his mortal bride to death you might think that he would have an aversion to pyres." He shrugged. "But that is what the religiously inclined believe and... It's just what you do to show that somebody mattered."
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