Welcome to Gaia! ::

Yes, being alone does suck, but given the type of "gents" who take an interest in me (not that there are any ~ lol), being alone is better than being together. I've been single since 1999 ~ talk about your 7 year itch ~ and I've learned a great deal about myself.

Being alone doesn't mean you've done something wrong ~ it means you aren't settling for less than you want or deserve. As Harbone indicated, enjoy this time, go out, flirt, dance with strangers, have fun. In a few years life will be full and taking up so much energy that you'll miss doing these things. Don't give up hope ~ but don't place value on who you are based on whether you have someone special in your life, either. A partner doesn't make you more or less than who you already are. (Yes, I did just say that ~ having given up hope for myself doesn't mean I don't wish to see others so the same ~ just in case any of you smart-arses wanna flip me some shizzle.)

Having said all that, yes, there are days when I long to hear a voice that doesn't belong to a) my children, b) my mom, c) my siblings-other relatives, or d) my co-workers and boss.

Hold on to your real friends ~ even when it feels like they're not as supportive as you'd like them to be. Given most of my friends have moved away and I rarely get to see or visit with them, I can assure you that lonely feeling is far worse when you have no one to commiserate with.

I haven't been in a physical relationship for about 7 years; I can assure you there really isn't a substitute for having someone touch you, hold you, give you a backrub, etc. There's also the having someone to talk to, or not talk to and just enjoy the silence. These things you have to learn to live with. sad

I've also learned to stop worrying about my physical features. I'd always considered myself on the lower end of average, but in the last 3-4 years, I started to think I must be very ugly. This thought may stem from the fact that I can't remember the last time someone flirted with me (we are NOT counting the crazy drunk fool in the mini-market that I ranted about a few months ago ~ that was just scary). wahmbulance

I've finally quit giving a **** what I look like. The problem with that is that I've gained about 10 pounds in the last two months or so, and when you're only 5'3", it really shows. I don't care if I'm fat ~ but it's creating a clothes issue ~ I'm beginning to run out of things to wear... and no one needs to see me running about in my-altogether. eek gonk
That and I'm pretty sure they wouldn't appreciate it at work, might call in the Po-lice and have me thrown in the hoosgow... (not sure exactly how that's supposed to be spelled as it's an old term my grandpa used to use.) blaugh

Has one more post for Harbone: Just where do you get off telling me you are butt-ugly? *Growls* I've seen you picture mister... you look fine! I've seen butt-ugly, and you ain't it. 3nodding

I hear what you're saying. I imagine internet dating would be difficult as there's something to be said for physical presence. And I'm not talking about sex. Just being able to see the person, have a face to face conversation, being able to read the other person's body language, sitting on the couch watching TV together, things like that.

I wish I could do that but sadly I don't know where she is, and no one is talking, lol.

Well... I think it is time for a positive feedback..

My son and the girl I set him up with here on Gaia are still doing great. He is currently in NY visiting her and her family for 9 days. It looks like either sometime this winter or in the spring he is planning on moving out there to be with her.

YEA!!! Possibly another internet marriage in the family in the near future.

Well, the bar thing is good for, you know, quick, meaningless relationships, but it's like sticking your hand in your grandma's cookie jar when you were a kid:

There's probably something sweet in there, but there's probably a few bugs and stale things, too.

Also, you kind of have to get in and out without getting caught. You never know who's gonna be okay with a "line" and who wants something that seems "real" (which, at a bar, seems like a really stupid thing to expect.)

I'm one for thinking hobbie groups are a good place to meet people.
Maybe they have a meet and greet night for sword dancing or potato painting or Javanse Shadow Puppets or whatever you're into, Naito. Dating locally always seems much more rewarding than long distance stuff.

Still, the great thing about a bar is that all it really takes is staying power to get some sort of pay-out. Myself, I tend to get paranoid and I forget that, at the end of the night, just about everybody left is as desperate as I am. Well, I tended to forget that, in the days when I used to dance Very Badly at the Lotus Card Room and Cafe.

By the way, Lil Brat, I sympathize about the clothes issue. At one time, I, too, was rather thin and could not only find clothes cheaply, I looked pretty darn good in the ones I found, too. Well, at least, looking at old pictures of myself I feel that way (at the time, I was just happy to fit into such a wide array of cheap, nifty clothes.)

Now the clothes I both fit in and enjoy wearing are pretty expensive.
domokun And, compared to photos of myself from 10 years ago (which I have declined to show) I AM Butt Ugly - and fat, thank you very much. domokun

I seen the last picture you posted, Lil Brat, you're still svelt in the neck, at least. You're still eligible for the style club. Butt and gutt (I assume you gained weight in the spare tire area because that's where most people gain weight in such a way as to make clothes unwearable) are usually the last thing a potential mate checks out, so just work on keeping your neck shapely and you'll be fine. Honestly, when a guy thinks a girl looks "fat" the guy is usually referring to the neckline. We're not talking droopy jowls or that cute Disney's Snow White broad neck-into-cleavage thing or anything like that, we're talking neck meats, that's what the guy sees when his brain registers "fat."

Er... speaking of necks, are there still all those dang vampire freaks running around Seattle? There were some pretty big ladies in that crowd, from what I remembered, and they still looked pretty hawt.