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 Posted: Tue Dec 10, 2013 10:08 pm
Gale could try and say that he hadn't thought about this, that he hadn't had any dishonorable thoughts, that throughout the time he'd been dating Stormy he had kept himself both physically and mentally calm - though the truth of the matter was, it would be a rather poor lie. He was seventeen, not a child like Candace sometimes kept assuming (as well-meaning as her heart was), and he thought about those things just as much as any other seventeen year old boy did.
In spite of being seventeen years old, he was also a hunter, and he had already lived a thousand lives in the space of a few short years. But even with knowledge under his belt and and experience beyond his years, he was still woefully, terribly unaware of how these situations went.
The Spanish whispered from Stormy made Gale smile, a smile that was covered by her mouth against his own, fervent and heated, beads of sweat beginning to form across Gale's face, his collarbone, down his neck. He kissed her back with as much force and passion as she gave him, let them both drown in a frenzy of emotions as he twisted his hands in her shirt to keep her close.
He was slightly dizzy when she pulled away, only enough to laugh, her face scarlet. Gale felt a flurry of emotions all jumbled together as her hand dipped lower, over his stomach, and he lifted his own, pressing hers still to stop the motions.
His heart nearly stopped at the latter part of her sentence, Gale staring at Stormy with a stunned expression. His mind had seemed to stop where it was, frozen in place, and if the world were to end around them, he most likely would not have noticed.
With a sudden surge, he pushed upwards, one hand on the back of Stormy's head, the other against her neck as he kissed her fiercely, passionately, and without abandon, for the first time entirely submerging himself in the desire to communicate without words.
But then he pulled away with a gasp several moments later, eyes slightly unfocused, his chest heaving for breath. Slowly, as he regained himself, he moved his hands, sliding them down Stormy's arms until they reached her hands, and then he laced his fingers with hers, palm to palm, his forehead pressed against hers. He closed his eyes.
"I love you enough to want to wait until you're sober enough to remember this," he said softly. "I want you to want me when you're not drunk, because as much as I want you, I want the you that doesn't need the alcohol."
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Posted: Tue Dec 10, 2013 10:57 pm
She read it wrong at first. That smile, that laugh, stopping her wandering hand, the stunned silence, the renewed passion following it: all of that was supposed to be the natural path towards what she wanted, all his turn to be coy while she tried coax him onward, breathing his name as a plea to continue. That frenzy to keep up at the end was a sign that she'd sealed the deal, Stormy thought.
Apparently not.
She was grinning expectantly (if now a little nervously) as his hands slid down her arms, but while she remembered to breathe she found herself once again touching foreheads instead of losing a layer, her fingers locked between his instead of free to continue roaming--and as the realization slowly sank in and her smile failed, she began to resist.
"I'll remember," Stormy retorted petulantly, and then more bitterly, "I always remember. Always. Unless I black out, the nightmares, the memories, the mistakes, they'll keep coming. And y'know what? M'stupid enough every time thinking I'd forget if I just drank a bit more."
She didn't want him catching his breath because that meant time to think, and thoughts didn't have a place here anymore. So Stormy tried to tug her hands away and at the same time distract him with another kiss, softer and pleading. His eyes were closed, but hers remained open, still a little unfocused but also growing hooded. "Gale, please," she implored him in a breathy voice. "I don't wanna sleep, I don't wanna sleep 'cause the bugs'll come again and I can't sleep without feeling them getting inside--" She shuddered suddenly, collected herself, and then quickly tried to push a few more kisses onto his jaw and even one in his ear. "I-I know something happened in the Sahara, I know something happened to me, I can feel it, but Nevada wouldn't say anything, a-and it scares me 'cause my body remembers something I don't."
Bugs crawling in and out, mouth and eyes and blood and sand--She shuddered again and shook her head, cursing under her breath for falling off topic.
"I-need-something," Stormy muttered with frustrated emphasis, "so I don't dream when I sleep. You took away alcohol, what else can I do? Hit myself until m'knocked out?" Exhaling a short sigh, she tried to tug their hands up co she could cup both sides of his face and touch foreheads again. "Gale, Gale, Gale . . . I'd want you regardless've how many drinks 've got, or what universe we land in next," she assured him more quietly. "More than that, I said I need you. Don't shut me out now, please, please . . ."
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Posted: Wed Dec 11, 2013 6:13 pm
She was making it difficult, as was the alcohol. It was numbing his sense of self, his better judgment, and in spite of the fact that he knew saying yes to this would be the wrong choice to make, the rest of him had not quite caught up to that fact yet. Stormy's kisses were equally distracting, intoxicating in their sweetness, and Gale felt some of his resolve slipping, her lips warm against his own.
"They won't," he mumbled, feeling shivers up and down his spine. He held her waist and tried to stay focused, even as she was whispering somewhere near his ear. "They won't come, I promise, I will protect you and keep you safe. The bugs won't come for you."
He couldn't deny that wanting to escape from the nightmares that plagued them both was a heavy desire. Countless times he'd awoken in the middle of the night, gasping and sweating and desperate for water for his dry throat, his mind steeped in blackness and shadows and creepy crawly things that dug into his skin.
He hated those dreams.
Gale let Stormy tug her hands free, her fingers feeling hot against his already flushed face. "I'm not shutting you out," he said, and there was a desperate note to his voice, pleading for her to understand. "I want you more than you know, and I need you too, you know that, but I can't - "
He hugged her then, arms wrapped tight around her, his face buried in her neck as he tried to steady himself, to keep the resolve that was rapidly slipping. "I am not shutting you out," he whispered into her shoulder. "I'm not, I swear, and you won't dream of the bugs tonight because I'll stay with you, even if that just means sleeping next to you and holding your hand."
His voice broke slightly, just a little, the words softly spoken. "Please don't do this to me. Don't make me make this choice."
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Posted: Wed Dec 11, 2013 7:24 pm
Stormy was regretting sharing the bottle now; maybe if she had taken the whole thing for herself, she wouldn't be in this situation. Rather, she would've been busy sleeping away like she wanted. At least then she wouldn't be making a fool out of herself. But as usual, it was too little too late.
That desperate tone, like nails to the chalkboard, painfully scraped at her heart; it was one of the few things that could get through the hazy layer of inebriation without trouble. Her breath hitched like she might begin to cry, but while her eyes did burn, no tears came forth. Maybe she had finally squeezed them all out for the day. With shaky breaths nevertheless, Stormy dropped her hands from his face and encircled around him and under his arms as she listened.
Some tiny, miniscule portion of her mind that managed to stay above the alcohol squeaked that this was for the better, but she didn't want better . . . She just wanted to stop having things be so intense, be it emotions or impulses or memories or dreams. And yet even with the buzz it kept going.
But it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair because Gale's scarlet face before the photo said he'd thought of it, and he had been happily physically affectionate before, and he loved her, he loved her, a hundred times over there and back again he said it, said he'd protect her, said that he wanted and needed her too--and yet after all of that, after giving and giving to her all of that sentiment and emotion, now and only now did he say he couldn't. And now she didn't know how to handle all of that pent up inside of her as a result. Maybe sober she could have picked them apart one by one, but like this it was just a volcano ready to explode.
This was a mistake. She had opened herself up too much and too fast; now it was time to retreat.
A soft noise, somewhere between a chuckle and a sob, left her. "You already chose," she replied in a thick voice. Slowly, almost piece by piece even, she began to extricate herself from Gale's grasp: one arm and then the other, then gentle work at his hands until he let go or until she made him. Her head was ducked, her hair plastered to her face by sweat, and her expression unreadable.
And the world began to spin again.
Stormy had forgotten that her room was still littered with papers she had scrawled on in that three day moratorium on people; the stark crunch one made as her foot landed startled her. She wavered a little as she got off the bed, the blood rushing to her head and making her very aware of how well it did as a sound room for her heartbeat. "Be right back. M'gonna go shower," she announced, inching forward with little steps so as not to trigger another episode. "Clean myself up a bit." Wash off the shame, or at least what she could.
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Posted: Wed Dec 11, 2013 11:12 pm
He knew she would not be happy, that she would take this as a rejection of a sort; but at the same time, he also knew that saying yes to her offer would have been bad, and that both he and her would have regretted it in the morning.
At least, that was what he kept telling himself.
The warmth had left him as she pulled away, and he felt the sting of her voice inside of his head, shooting past the vague inebriation. He had hurt her by saying no, by making that call, and now she was hurting him by leaving, by walking away even when neither one of them was quite in the right mindset at the current moment. His thoughts twisted inside of his head, messy and unclear and hazy and repetitive, making him dizzy with the effort of retaining them all.
Will you still think the same way tomorrow?
Will you still want to be with me when you wake up and remember that I told you no?
Will you still need me?
"Stormy," said Gale, "wait." He crawled off the bed behind her and was behind her in seconds, reaching to grasp her wrist. He wanted to hug her, to pull her back against his chest, but he wasn't sure that she wanted him to right now. So instead, he just stood there and held her fingers gently, loosely, never restraining, always holding.
"I..." he said hesitantly, his face flushed with anxiety. "I'm sorry, Stormy, please don't..."
Don't what? Don't hate me?
"Please don't leave me," Gale said miserably.
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Posted: Thu Dec 12, 2013 1:15 am
She was making slow but steady headway to her dresser to yank out some pajamas when he spoke. And obediently she did wait as Gale got off the bed, hyperaware of every noise he made, every crackle of pent paper, every soft thud of his feet. And obediently still she waited as he approached and took her hand, though she didn't turn or otherwise move. Part of her was glad beyond words that he had followed after; part of her wished he had just stayed behind and saved her the agony of knowing the extent of her bad decisions' impact on him. But what was the use of running away from that? It'd still haunt her in the morning, and in mornings long after. Everything that had happened today would.
Stormy was struck with such neediness in that moment that she almost turned around and buried her face against him, but instead she took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Her hand curled around his enough to keep it from slipping away. If she kept still long enough, she could feel a heartbeat pulsing from the union.
It was deja vu, only this time she wasn't trying to leave the room with murderous intent and she was able to handle her emotions just a little better. Everything else was similar, however, right down to Gale's strained plea for her to stay. Stormy closed her eyes and clenched her jaw against the sound, her heart aching just that much more.
"I couldn't even if I wanted to." She almost laughed at the very thought, that somehow this one decision could undo everything else--that somehow her mistakes, many as there were, were enough to make her leave. Maybe if she was a better person at heart, she would have to save him from those troubles; but she was far, far too selfish to let him go for something as small as her being inherently stupid. "D'you know why? 'Cause all you'd have t'do is call for me and I'd be there."
Closing her eyes was a bad idea, she was starting to wobble. Opening them, Stormy took another breath and tilted her head up as if trying to find answers in the ceiling. "I'm not leaving," she clarified quietly, sounding more lucid than she had since she started drinking. "I'm going to shower, and then I'm gonna come back, and we'll . . . we'll go from there. Storytelling or sleeping or something else, maybe you'll shower too so we'll start off fresh. Sound okay?" she asked meekly, as if afraid this too might cause a stir.
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Posted: Thu Dec 12, 2013 10:52 pm
He wanted to hug her, he wanted to make sure that the fragile state of her mind was not going to shatter or break or dissolve into anything else, anything other than what it was. Relationships were such strange things, and the thought of losing this one, the one thing that was good in his lie, scared Gale. He was lucky to have her, so immensely, terribly fortunate to have found someone like Stormy who wanted to be with him, even if his feelings for her were stronger than hers were for him. He had no doubt of her affections, but how deep they ran was another story entirely.
He was not used to this. He did not know how to handle this, and he certainly was not familiar with the proper procedures that accompanied a romantic relationship. Not for the first time, he felt stupid and clumsy and unsure of himself, as though he were stepping in all the wrong places, on all the wrong feet.
It was a dance, and he was doing the waltz on a floor that was practicing the tango.
Gale tugged at Stormy's fingers gently, drawing them up so he could kiss the back of her hand. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, against her skin, and then he let go, took a step back so that she had more space. Reaching for his shirt, Gale pulled it over his head and ruffled his hair, not bothering to even look for his shoes.
"I'll go shower," he agreed. "But then we'll both come back here, okay?"
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Posted: Fri Dec 13, 2013 12:39 am
As her hand fell away from his, she swung it to her chest and held it like it was fragile. "I'm sorry, too," Stormy answered just as quietly, words that were inadequate but that would have to do from now until she could move away and think.
Carefully she rifled through her dresser for sleepwear and tossed it over her shoulder, wobbly still as she got off the ground and nabbed her shower sandals and towel next. At least her stomach wasn't burning her or making her nauseous anymore, although the guilt left behind wasn't any better. Leaving the room at this point was equivalent to kicking him while he was down, but Stormy still made for the door anyway regardless of each little stab of pain those steps gave her; maybe a little space to recollect themselves was best. "Back here, I promise," was what slipped out instead of "okay". Just in case she needed to clear any more doubts.
Forgetting to remove the Swiss army knife, she slid past the threshold and let the door close behind her with a click.
Not for the first time, Stormy wished she had her own shower. While communal wasn't necessarily bad, it was jarring to have to remember that people existed outside her room--much like the one who had nearly hit her when the door swung open. After several quick apologies on Stormy's end (after all, it was her fault for being in the way of course), she entered a thankfully empty bathroom. Praying the hot water hadn't all been used, she disrobed and got in.
It was surprising that Thane hadn't chimed in with his scornful two cents on the matter, but she supposed his silence was a blessing. Maybe he was so far beyond caring about the situation that he was just biding his time and letting her struggle to deal with it on her own instead of commanding her to do this or that; it would be a change of pace from the usually controlling dracolich, though . . . The uncertain but constant silence let her relax more than usual, however, and she decided to just let it go. She had bigger things to think about.
Like what had transpired thus far today.
For the first time in a long while, she allowed herself to curse out loud. What was she thinking? No, that was the answer: she hadn't been. Letting the water splash her face gave Stormy a little wake up call, however brief, and upon review of what had just happened she couldn't help but act on the first impulse that grasped her and gently thudded her head to the wall. To the one who had finally announced that he loved her, she had gotten unashamedly drunk in front of him, gave the least attractive attempt at seduction ever, and then made him feel bad about it ever happening when it didn't work out. Maybe she should just stay in the shower until he fell asleep . . . Or maybe she should just stay in the shower forever and never face that shameful walk back.
It was funny: she had wanted to rope Gale into "stupid teen stuff" earlier with the photo shoot. Once again, however, she had managed to find a way to take it too far. That wasn't even counting the mess she'd made by revealing her secret (which she hadn't even done in full), nor the stint she had had in the beginning about wanting to seek revenge of Jack. If she really thought about it, she hadn't done a single thing right today.
I don't deserve you, Stormy thought miserably as she continued to lean her head against the wall and let the water run down her back. This was not the first time she had thought so, but it was the first time she felt it so acutely that it was actually hurting. Or maybe that was the shame making her more sensitive than usual. That was the real problem here, she was just so innately damn sensitive that everything affected her more than it did most others: alcohol, emotions, words, everything . . . And that wasn't fair either. It still didn't excuse her behavior, though, and she did her best to stretch the shower out so that she could physically dole out her punishment, dragged her fingers through her hair and over her body, digging at every last bit of collected sweat-dried, hidden-grimed, tear-streaked, oily part of herself until by the time she left the shower, she stung and felt thoroughly scoured.
It was no cleansing by fire, but it was a start. Better to feel the ache than to feel vulnerable.
Thrashing her hair with a towel as best she could (knowing it would continue to drip regardless for the next half hour), Stormy then dressed into her pajamas for the night, black and pink Hello Kitty themes in hopes of lifting her spirits, collected her things, and left the bathroom. She allowed her feet to drag a little as she made her way back, slipping back into the room with a deep breath.
She . . . probably should clean this mess up if she was having him stay the night. Tossing her things onto Nevada's bed for the moment, she rubbed at her head (which had begun to ominously throb), gingerly got to the floor, and started to pluck the pages and drawings up.
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Posted: Fri Dec 13, 2013 10:50 pm
He stood in the shower for a long time, half because he wasn't sure what he was going to expect when he got back to the room, and half because he couldn't seem to get his thoughts to settle. They kept twisting back and forth, curving this way and that until nothing made sense anymore and everything was one enormous, confusing mess.
Trying to convince himself he had done the right thing by refusing Stormy was also an enormous, confusing mess. Gale pressed his forehead to the wall of the shower and let out his breath in a long sigh. Jinhai murmured something about consequences and truth and actions that made sense in theory, but when put to the test seemed frustrating. Still, the dragon at least was loyal in his attempts at comforting and reassuring, and Gale appreciated the effort all the same.
He needed to stop messing things up. This was his first relationship, there were bound to be snags here and there, but he was under the distinct impression that if things got too tense, if they got to be too much, that they would break and Stormy would decide that she didn't need him anymore.
Or worse, she would decide she really did want Jack more.
Gale tried not to think of this truly depressing idea, and reached for the handle of the shower, flipping it off. He got dressed slowly, taking his time so that Stormy would be the one back in the room first, giving them both a little space to breathe, to collect their thoughts.
I don't deserve you, but I want you.
I don't deserve you, but I love you.
It had been hard enough saying those three words alone, but he had meant them. But at the same time, Gale could practically feel the judgement pressing onto his shoulders, the weight of a simple phrase heavy on his heart.
You're just a kid, how do you even now what love is?
It was a question he couldn't answer.
Clothes tucked beneath his arm, dressed in a plain gray sweater and black sweatpants, Gale made his way back to Stormy's room, one hand in his pocket. When he reached the door, he hesitated, face slightly flushed, his hair still damp, and wondered whether this was still a good idea, him spending the night.
If he walked now, perhaps things would never be resolved, and that scared him.
Quietly, Gale pushed open the door without knocking and silently stepped inside, leaning back against it once he was fully within Stormy's room. She was sitting on the floor, picking up papers, and he watched her for a long moment, his expression soft.
"...hey," he said, after some time had passed. "Do you feel, er...a bit better? Did the shower help?"ol-j-man sometimes I have no idea what I even write lalala
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Posted: Fri Dec 13, 2013 11:26 pm
Her fingers quickly grew cold as she worked, and eventually she slipped on socks and her Eeyore slippers for her feet as well. But at least doing so allowed her to make a game out of the chore: how quietly could she manage to pick everything up? Was it possible to do so without making a sound? How quickly could she do it? Stormy tested the theory and began controlling her breath, even as her head continued to throb; it made for getting up off the floor or back down on it harder than it needed to be, but it was a good distraction and a way to pass the time rather than just sitting anxiously on the bed until he arrived.
She felt more than heard Gale enter during the interim silence, but he chose not to immediately announce himself; thus she went with it and didn't acknowledge him for a period of time. It was just her and the game, the only noises being the occasional crackle of paper she couldn't muffle (because it was already crumpled) and the sound of her heartbeat. Stormy had been making quite a headway by the time he broke the silence, and at the sound of his voice she froze. Hesitated. Straightened up off the floor. Winced at the renewed drumming in her head.
"A little," she answered, turning towards him. The bottom-most paper she held to her chest had circular red markings embedded so deeply into the front of the paper that they were still somewhat visible through the back. "Head's clearer at least, but . . . I think I'm gonna wake up with a killer hangover anyway. Guess it's nothing less than I deserve." She tried at a smile, then turned back around to finish the work. "Was just thinking it'd be nice if we could clean our heads as easily as this. Pick up the litter and throw it away, never have to worry again."
She leaned over and, forgoing the silent game, began plucking papers off. "You can get comfy, I'm almost done. How about you, though? Shower help any?"
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Posted: Sat Dec 14, 2013 10:26 pm
He waited for her to respond without rushing her or showing any signs of impatience, Gale leaning back against the door and watching Stormy as she shuffled papers around. After a moment, however, she stood, and his eyes traced the movements a little warily, wondering if she was still upset with him for choosing to say no.
"I'm glad," he said quietly, Gale absently tugging at the hem of his sweater. He shuffled his feet and then, after a slight hesitation, crossed the room towards her bed. He pulled the covers back, settled the pillows into place, but instead of laying down, he just sat on the edge, curling one leg beneath him.
"Unfortunately, our minds aren't as easy to clean," he said, casting a glance at the papers in her hands again. "I wish."
Gale rolled his shoulders, fiddling with the blanket. "It gave me a chance to think, I suppose," he admitted, Jinhai making a soft noise of encouragement and reassurance inside of his head. "Why is it that all of the deep thinking is done when one is in the shower or in the moments before falling asleep?"
He'd said the last bit a little lightheartedly, attempting to lighten the now awkward mood. Gale's shoulders sagged a little.
"Stormy," he said softly. "Come here."
It was not an order, but a quiet invitation, one that she could turn down if she wanted, if she did not feel up to being near him at the present time.
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Posted: Sun Dec 15, 2013 12:59 am
One page. Two pages. Now she wished here were red and blue pages . . . Gale might have meant to be rhetorical, but she still couldn't help but answer. "It's the shower principle," she said, hitting a corner of the room and the final pieces of paper. "You like over-thinking things, but the more a person gets caught on details, the harder it is to find a solution because you're thinking in parts instead've wholes. When you're doing something else like showering, it lets you unconsciously pull back and make connections that come back as new ideas, when really it's just your brain working through it naturally without all the extra fuss stopping the creative process. Like if you dance without thinking about the fact that you're dancing 'cause you're in the moment instead've thinking about it, versus consciously focusing on every movement and how good or bad it was in real time."
Picking the last page up, Stormy turned a little sheepish in hindsight and kept her gaze averted as she trotted to Nevada's bed and sat the pile by her used clothes; she'd deal with them all later. This was, she realized with a strange clarity, the way she always handled her problems: by tucking them away to a different corner and letting them pile up until "later".
At Gale's request, she turned on a heel and saw him sitting at the edge of her bed, and her chest tightened with a myriad of different emotions. Squeezing more water out of her hair, Stormy tucked some behind an ear, wiped her hands off, and made her way over with careful steps as if the floor was part of Deathsweeper; her head continued to throb, however, and her balance wasn't quite the same as it was completely sober. "I wanna apologize," she pre-empted as her hands clutched the bottom of their respective sleeves like a safety blanket of her own, stopping a few inches in front of him. She tried to maintain eye contact, but the shame filling her cause Stormy to drop her gaze. "I was . . . It wasn't right, what I was doing. If you feel bad about any've that, just--I-I'm so sorry."
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Posted: Sun Dec 15, 2013 10:06 pm
He could have listened to her talk all day, if she'd let him. There was just something about her voice that enthralled him, drew him in and entranced him to the point where he sometimes wondered whether he'd get anything done if he simply sat and listened to her.
She could have recited the phone book and he would have stopped and listened.
Gale worried briefly that she would not want to come over to him, that she would either still be upset with him or that she would try and push the question he'd already said no to. To his relief, however, neither seemed to be the case, although now Stormy seemed somewhat wary about approaching him. Her walk was slightly off kilter as she made her way towards him, and then she stopped before she actually reached him, looking down instead of at him.
His heart gave a little painful twist. Reaching out, Gale slid his hands over Stormy's wrists and pulled her towards him so that she could stand between his legs. His fingers closed around hers, squeezing gently.
"I only feel bad for making you feel bad," he said gently. His cheeks were still slightly flushed. "Stormy, you know I love you, I just..." Gale blew a few strands of pale hair out of his eyes. "It's going to sound completely bloody cliche, but I want our first time to be...well, special is a lame sounding word, but I want it to be the way we want it to be."
He smiled slightly, fingers curving through hers. "Not how it winds up being because of circumstances beyond our control."
Gale drew Stormy's fingers to his lips and pressed a kiss to her fingertips. "Are you ready to sleep?" he asked her, with a nod towards the bed. "I think we both could use the rest."
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Posted: Mon Dec 16, 2013 12:47 am
When he didn't begin by judging her, she thought it would mitigate the shame; yet for some reason it lingered, and not simply because she was the kind of person who would berate herself for days to come. No, there had to be something else. She stared down at the floor as Gale spoke, feeling less like a teen who had tried to be an adult much too quickly and more like a child being told the moral of the story they already knew. Maybe that's how he'd see her now: the person who didn't know how to take care of herself, who had to be treated carefully because she was just so fragile.
Stormy was waiting for him to drop something else other than an explanation for his decision. She was waiting when his fingers slid between hers, merely the uppermost digits peeking out of the sleeve, and pulled them in for one of his characteristic kisses. She was still waiting when he asked about going to sleep and nothing more. When the anxiety didn't leave her, Stormy took a shaky breath and tried to deduce exactly what she was still afraid of--and that was when she realized she thought something was missing.
When he said he had been in deep thought in the shower, she had assumed without question that it had been about taking back those three words. Had that been foolish of her? Was that the drink still clouding her weak but still present logic in lieu of more self-loathing? Her heart had twisted painfully at the very thought that he could have even remotely thought about it, however, and she shut her eyes momentarily to gather herself.
She wished her head would stop hurting.
"I know, I know, God I know," she said softly, her expression wrinkling with a mix of guilt and pain. "I know because I think so too, because it has to be, because maybe not a lot of things in this world matter to some people but that should be right the first time, whatever else happens." She squeezed his fingers. "You believe me, right? M'not myself when I drink, like when someone shouts things they don't mean when they're angry, but I mean that, swear I do. He tried, y'know, he asked n' asked n' pushed, b-but I couldn't--"
She meant to say so much more because it was lacking explanation and also was practically a hypocritical statement after what she had tried, but that seemed to be the usual impulse around Gale: absolute word vomit about every single thing. Stormy shut her mouth and reminded herself that she was supposed to have withdrawn before the floodgates opened, but it was increasingly harder to do so when he was being so earnest and the alcohol was doing its best to loosen her lips again like it had before. When she opened her eyes to look at him proper a moment later, it was with a mix of apology and affection. "I'm not ready," she answered tiredly. "But . . . I'll talk you to sleep if you want?" She had never had healthy sleeping habits anyway; she was starting to wonder if she had ever been or had a healthy anything at this point.
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Posted: Wed Dec 18, 2013 5:40 pm
He smiled at her anyway. "I know you know," said Gale gently, and squeezed her hands to accompany this reassurance. "I just wanted to remind you of it for when you and I both wake up with enormous headaches tomorrow, thanks to a generous helping of alcohol, that regardless of everything, I'll still be by your side."
The expression on his face softened. "I believe you," he said, with a small nod. "It's okay, Stormy, really. I know you better than that, remember? I know who you are, and I'm not..." A small growl of irritation, not at Stormy, but at the person she was referring to when she said he. "I'm not like him, I won't push you or force you or make you do anything that you don't want to do and that you're not ready to do."
He wanted to pull her down and hug her, but Stormy wasn't ready - not just to go to sleep, but for everything right now, that much at least was clear. Gale twined their fingers a bit tighter, wanting her to understand the strength of his hold on her before he let go, sliding his hands away and down into his lap.
"Talking would be good," said Gale, and shifted sideways, pushing his feet beneath the blankets and pulling them back up over him, settling down in the bed. He curled one hand beneath the pillow, leaving enough room for Stormy for when she wanted, and lay on his side to look at her.
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